Walking wounded.

Seems like the nearest and dearest are all falling foul of the dreaded winter lurgy. Strange flu like symptoms, coupled with bronchial madness, and phlegm, are flooring those around me with some ferocity.

I have picked up my stethoscope, and gladstone bag, and begun to administer all manner of treatments, ranging from champagne, right through to Nintendo. I think I was born to heal. Suffice to say, nobody is getting better, but they don't mind being ill so much when I have prescribed.

Frosty mornings and fog are the daily occurences now. I snapped this pretty sunrise during my inaugural cig break the other morning. Please enjoy this sunrise over Huddersfield.... Spice, don't get TOO homesick now, and don't be too mad that I only had my phone/camera to hand.



Christmas shopping is almost complete, and everything's neatly wrapped and under my lovely tree. I am almost set to enjoy christmas on my own (as everyone is going to be tucked up in bed drinking flu remedies). There is still the matter of a couple of birthdays inbetween now and the big day..... it never rains.... It damn well gets wet though!

I have even updated my seemingly unpopular "random shopping" blog, with a couple more choice items.... You REALLY should head on over and take a look.

I think I might go "all-out" and fully update my blog to a fancy blogger template, so you never know, I might lose everything.... if not, see you on the other side.... good luck!

On the other hand.... now that I've just snipped my finger with a pair of scissors, and I have an unhealthy addiction to Age of Empires III, perhaps I'll just sit here and cry for a while!!

Chapter and verse....

I have been trying for the last eighteen months to finish, restart, and finish again, a Harry Potter book. I was excited when it came out, all that time ago. Tonight I finally finished it, and in doing so, I've probably learned a little more about myself.

I always feel that reading is a solitary occupation. I am not one that finds it easy to flip briskly through a book, when surrounded by distraction. I hate reading a few pages, only to find that my mind's been elsewhere, and that I haven't actually registered the printed words that literally went in one eye and out the other.

So, I've finished the book. It's late. A little too late for normal people. A sense of loss, emptiness, and loneliness has encompassed me. I usually feel like this at the end of a book, and realise that this is why I so often leave the final few chapters of books unread for prolonged periods of time.

I should be in bed. My mind is elsewhere. This is one night where I should not be alone, but then how would I have finished the book?

Rest....

Had a good lie-in this morning..... and within 2 hours of getting out of bed, I was fast asleep on the sofa again.

The "unemployed" mode is kicking in!!

Spent all day avoiding the things I should be doing... AGAIN!

Tomorrow I will try harder... I promise.

Babysitting my nephew for an hour or so tomorrow.... first time... so wish me luck.

Did you check out my "random shopping" blog yet? No?? Why the hell not?

Shopping....

To take three ladies to a shopping centre is not the wisest thing a man can do.

Admittedly, I also had shopping to do, and am renowned as quite a good shopper myself. Unfortunately after a mere seven hours in said shopping centre, I must admit, the time has come to hang my shopping boots up in shame.

Let me just say that I thought the word "renowned" should be spelled "reknowned" - Can anyone clarify whether this is right or wrong?

In other news, something I have been threatening to do for a while, has actually come into being today. I have started a completely new blog to highlight my random shopping theme. Go have a look and leave some comments and stuff - Random Shopping!

Life's lessons.

In life, there are a few valuable lessons you learn.

Never walk under ladders.

Don't cut your toenails with your socks on.

Always say "please" and "thank you".

Always photograph items of random shopping.

And of course, having spent a lifetime working on an outward appearance that is designed to conceal the "true" me, you should NEVER judge a book by its cover...... sometimes it is hard not to:

Trying to get in the mood...

This week, I will be mostly trying to get in the christmas mood.

The vast majority of my christmas shopping is done.... only a final foray into the world of shopper's heaven, tomorrow, can lay this beast to rest.

I've watched Polar Express (pass the puke bucket), and It's a Wonderful Life (to which I sobbed loudly). It would appear that my trusty copy of "The Muppets' Christmas Carol" has long since vanished, and I am sad about this.

I've downloaded Nat King Cole's christmas numbers, and listened to some of them.

The presents I HAVE bought, are all wrapped and labelled, neath the festive tree that I have assembled.

The bits to "make and do" are mostly made and done, and I've completely bust my back assembling a specific item today, which I obviously cannot name.

I've eaten christmas cake, and mince pies with brandy butter.

Rather than feeling like St. Nick himself, I am still not getting the joy of christmas. It's just not working. My bank balance is dwindling, and the back spasms are really not helping. I am still feeling like Uncle Ebeneezer.

This year, I have coins in the oven, ready for unsuspecting carol singers.... Oh the joy!!

It's official....

I drank more than I intended, or indeed wanted to.

Last vivid memory was standing at the bar, ordering the demon drink "After Shock" - For those that don't know about this unpleasant drink.... you're missing nothing.

I always end up in a tangle after drinking it.

Consequently, ten minutes later, and I felt myself swaying. I made an early exit.

Woke up this morning with the mother of all hangovers, and in fact still reeling drunk. Not a good start to the day. A full 6 hours after getting out of bed, and I am just starting to come round. I have looked at two glasses of water, a cup of coffee, and the kitchen sink. I've finally managed to drink a cup of tea and ate some nice brown toast.

I am on the mend. Mostly attributed to the use of my lovely retro ice pack for my terminally swolen brain!

Herman's hermit...

One week into my term of unemployment, and I already have a beard that reaches my knees, and my toenails are three feet long.

I haven't been out of the house, and only get out of bed in the morning to impersonate a large dog when the postman sticks his hand through the letterbox.

I have doubled sealed all the doors and windows with electrical tape to stop the germs from getting in, and have developed a new flying boat, aptly named the "Murky Turkey". I envisage a day when we will all fly on the water.

Some of the above may be more true than other bits.... I leave it to your imagination to decide.

I AM actually going out tonight.... it's a free bar, and it's through my former employer. I am really not in the mood for it, but I really want to see the guys I have been working with for so long. Note to self: Because it is free.... does not mean I need to drink it all!

I'd rather be staying in an watching TV, but as that's all I do all day anyway, it would seem kind of churlish of me.

I need coffee and food to prepare for the onslaught.

Bark at the moon....

With the winter solstice looming over the dark horizon of Foxley Towers, December's full moon brings a wash of colour and light into the night sky. Not all the colours are ones I immediately recognise, but the overall palette is definitely singing in the tone of madness.

I sometimes consult my biorhrythms. It's not something I have ever been proud to admit. I regard it to be a science not dissimilar to that of horror-scopes and fortune telling, although I have to accede that it seems to have a more scientific basis than Justin Toper, his wild hairstyle, and his £20 per question mumbo jumbo.

Strangley, I find that my biorhythms make sense when I feel a strange mood. I think I need to consult them today. I am supposed to be doing some consolidation and paperwork today. I have no excuse to put it off any longer..... Procrastination kicks me in the balls, and I am updating my blog, wincing at the mountain of papers around me.

I promise myself that after I've finished the blog, and done the paperwork, I will try and work out why this cloak of madness is descending upon me.

In other news....

Pray, two minutes silence for the passing of Greig's bunny rabbit.........

.... ok that's long enough.

I bought more jigsaws... not sure this was my best ever move, but the strange compulsive nature of them soothes my soul. Also bought a special jigsaw cloth thing that rolls up, so you can put the thing away... This means I might be able to actually use my dining table during the next month!!

I am smoking too much.

I am going to do my paperwork..... see y'all later.

Even when....

.... I've got nothing to do, I STILL manage to miss a day's blog entry.

Spent Sunday in recovery mode, trying to re-establish my body's chemical balance. Not drinking so much on Saturday night really made things a whole lot easier.

Was great to see Chris, Chris, and Emma, and to hear their fantastic news. You can ask Emma yourself!!

Trying to stay warm at the moment, as the weather's taken a decidedly grizzly turn. Galeforce winds, and rain. It gets dark at about 3:30pm and that's never a good thing. The seasonally adjusted disorder doesn't take long to grab hold.

I guess it could be worse.... On a normal Monday morning, by this time, I'd have already done an hour and a half's work.

Recovery yesterday.... Ikea today.... I don't know which is worse! Well, at least both days have preoccupied me so much, that I have conveniently forgotten about the mountain of paperwork that I need to get through.... This is going to be the age of consolidation for me.

Still need to try to assemble something decent out of my phone camera, from the amazing DJ Yoda night on Saturday. The phone doesn't like low light conditions, and they take a whole lot of processing to make something half good. If I manage it, I'll post a few, but for now, they'll have to languish on my hard drive, as shaky blurred images.

Breakfast beckons.... and then the dreaded M62, followed by a hearty side order of Ikea.... The indigestion is setting in just thinking about it!

Every day.....

...... in every way, I am getting better and better.

Managed a sleep-in this morning. Got up at about 8:30ish.

Bit of a Baileys induced hangover.

Am going out dancing tonight.... The weather is a bit cruel, and there are only buses back from Manchester, so I might have to take the option of driving it. Never something I enjoy on a night out, but it's probably the best option, and I am sure my head will thank me in the morning.

I bought a christmas tree yesterday. An artificial one, and it was a bit of a bargain. I am usually a total humbug at christmas, but thought I would make the effort.

Tried putting the tree together today, and lo and behold, it comes in forty.... yes four zero.... parts. Bloody hell. I wrestled it for an hour or more, and called in the reinforcements. My mum came round and helped me finish off. It looks quite good, but now there's artificial snow and fake pine needles all over the house. Makes me realise I need to go out and buy a few more decorations.... looks a bit isolated as the only festive item in the house.


My sebaceous cyst is flaring up again. This is a long running story, and it's about two years since I had it cut out of my face, by what can only be described as the "butcher of Huddersfield". I knew he had made a mess of it.... and now.... bloody hell it is well sore!!

I am (predictably) on a Pogo bender!! I am badging like crazy this week.

I finished a 1000 piece jigsaw this week.... Snow White and the seven dwarves.... Not sure what to make of jigsaws, there's something unholy about them, but I can honestly say it's been a comulsive mix of pleasure and pain.... as my back can testify.


Spice - How are you fixed in January for me to come and see you? Would it be ok? Let me know if it would be alright please.

Have you looked in my guestbook lately? Who the heck is "aaa" - They leave a lot of comments in there, but I can't decipher them.... there's a prize for anyone that can.

Post update update: New polling booth - New music - Updated my "This season I will be mostly" section - Updated polling archive.

The first day of....

Well, to be honest, I am not sure I know what this is the first day of.

I guess it could just be the first day of December?

It could even be the first day of advent, when all the kids get to open the first door of that calendar that's been beckoning from the kitchen sideboard for a week or more. They get to eat a chocolate robin or christmas tree.

On a deeper note, this could very well be the first day of a new chapter in the book of Fox. Today I am officially unemployed. My contract has ended and I don't really have the desire to go looking for another one. I don't even have an up-to-date CV!!

It's no surprise that my contract ended, it's been coming for a while. I have made no plans, no provision, no road to follow. This is a deliberate measure, like Luke Reinhart, let us see how the dice fall, and fall they did.

7:45am - Day 1 of unemployment, and the first morning where nothing would phase me. I turn over in bed, pull the covers a little tighter around my shoulders, and drift back into deep sleep.

7:46am - Bang.... Crash.... Smash

7:47am - I am standing outside the bathroom, surrounded by blood, broken glass, hair products, skin products, candles, and shock.

The bathroom cabinet has detached itself from the wall, and spilled its overladen stomach full of cosmetics, asunder.

If this is an omen for the new chapter of my life, then I am starting to be a little afraid.

New Beginnings.

Bugger.

I've got such a headache today.

Went out with the folks from work last evening for a few sherbets.

Think I managed some bacardi, some beer, some mojitos, some long island iced tea, and some Baileys and Amaretto. Is it any wonder my head hurts?

Spent most of today in "sorry" mode.

Picked my mum up at about 11am and we went to the local Christmas Craft fair at the parish church. Was quite a mellow experience, and it's always nice to feel like part of a community. I heard somewhere this week, that being a part of a group actually prolongs life expectancy... There ya go!!

Spent this aft, with my mum, tidying up my house. I am planning a chilled evening watching telly, and a duvet morning tomorrow. There's absolutely no rush to get up. Thanks mum, you're great.

URGENT APPEAL: I am searching for a toy for my nephew's christmas present. The toy seems, to all intent and purpose, to have vanished from the face of the earth. I appeal to all bloggers, and readers, for their assistance in trying to locate: From the "Take Along Thomas" range of die-cast metal trains, the train known as Oliver. If you can find me one to buy, then I will award you a special Foxy prize. Deal?

In other news.... my "brokeback mountain" cowboy hat arrived today.... I love it.... but don't know if it's too big or not.... Having never owned a stetson before, how would I tell? My cowboy boots arrived too and I have been stomping round in them all day. The downside, is that my royal flush cowboy shirt is too small, and has to be returned from whence it came. YeeHaw!

Have a go at this.... A friend sent me this website... It's a search engine, but this is slightly different... Try "search with guide"!!

I've got a cunning plan....

... and I want you to be the first person to hear it.

I am blooming sure that I am not the first person to consider this, and I am 100% certain that I won't be the last.

I have a dream... and the dream is to become a million dollar grifter, through no other power than the interweb and my own perverse sense of procrastination.

As you may, or may not know.... My current job is due to run out in December. Having spent the last 4 or 5 years working with this team, in various places around the country, it would appear that the gravy train is finally running dry.

I don't really want to look for another job. In fact, I don't actually want to work ever again. So, the idea came to me.

There are enough internet ideas out there that should be able to make money for me. One such idea, I signed up for last week. The concept is such that you get paid for reading emails!! Hmmm - yes, I know what you're all thinking. Well, who knows??

And so, perhaps soon, I will be creating a new blog. The purpose of the new blog will be to chart and to exploit for the purpose of making money.

Remember the "million dollar pixel" guy?

Remember the "paper clip swapper"?

It can be done! I swear, it CAN be done... and I want in!

Watch this space!!

Destroy all monsters.

Some of you may remember my Blu-Tac animals that I made to keep me company at my desk. In case you missed them the first time around, and can be bothered this time around, the links to those particular days are here:

Blu-Tac entry 1
Blu-Tac entry 2

And in case you can't even be bothered to do it this time, then here are the pictures of the animals at least.

Well, it is my sad duty to inform you, that on the 6th of November 2006, the aforementioned creatures were taken from my desk (unceremoniously whilst I was having a cig) and used to actually stick some bits of paper onto a wall!!

I am gutted.

Rest in peace Arctic Fox and Penguin.... You will be sorely missed. Now, all I have left are my Dr. Who dolls of Rose and K9. I effing love the Billie Piper!!





In other news, my good friend Emma is finishing work here on the contract with us today... it's a sign that the project is winding down, and that frienships forged in the fires of work will soon be tested. It's a shame, and she'll be missed... Sudoku will never be the same again.

So many things are happening lately that are worth mentioning.... Every time I see something that warrants mention, I know I should write it down. I just can't keep up.....

Worth noting:

Enemies of the internet.

Fish and chips.

Second life - Big Brother.

Positively smoking.

Smoke and sparks....

Well, the weekend, like so many cheap fireworks, has long since been, and is now almost forgotten. Just like the foreworks, the thrill of setting up, and lighting a weekend, is often much more interesting than the ensuing face full of smoke and inevitable empty pocket.

I sound bitter and twisted... and it's true... I am!!

Didn't get much time to update the old blog (as predicted) so I will try to give you a 5 minute round-up on the events.

Friday... Work.... Went out for a couple of beers, and stumbled into a (usually quiet) bar which featured karaoke, and some sort of private party. It was overfilled, and difficult to get served. I had a bad back for some reason.

Saturday... Played a little Pogo. Went to a garden centre for a giant scone and a coffee. Bought fireworks. Met up with an old pal for some food and a beer. God bless Mr. Clegg. Played some Perudo. Played some Pogo.

Sunday... Got up. Bought a newspaper. Had some breakfast. Went for a walk in the woods. Made some bonfire toffee. Cooked some tea. Went to a bonfire (which was massive and the pub where it was happening had cars parked for about half a mile in every direction). Went to my mum's house and set all the fireworks off. Had a bath. Watched half of Pulp Fiction (AGAIN) and went to bed.

Makes for boring blogging, I know. Perhaps when I get a little more time to actually think, then I might get back to some more creative blogging?

Lazy....

... but that's how it goes.

Another day, another blog missed. I really must try harder. You know I won't.

Not much to report.

Winter is coming. The first frosts have arrived this week. Each morning I have been treated to clouds like milky white flaked fish covering the sky. Beautiful washed out sunrises. Crisp, crunchy leaves underfoot. Shadows of trees cast in white across the fields, where the watery sun has yet to reach. The frost brings with it, a palette of colours that make the leaves burn.

I love autumn, but the two seasons (autumn and winter) really DO seem to be merging into one.

I am looking forward to a good walk this weekend.

Work's hacking me off at the minute, and I am taking a few moments out to write my blog. It's nice to be thinking about the sights, sounds, and smells of outside while I am sitting in the sterile fluorescent lighted office.

Pogo badges this week are thankfully wrapped up, and in bed. Very easy.

Work's still hacking me off.

Anyone know a good shop for cowboy hats?

V

Finally got around to watching V for Vendetta. Ever since the comics came out in 1988, this story has troubled my tiny, fragile mind. I couldn't imagine it being a very good movie.

I'm happy to say that my memory of the comic - which basically amounts to a great deal of psychological torture, in a concentration camp setting - was not translated into the film. The film skipped around the torture quite cleanly.

I DO have a gripe with Natalie Portman's acting abilities though. She really is very poor. In fact she hasn't done anything good since the film Leon! She should never have been let out of the pizza parlour where she was "discovered".

Grumble over!

Trick or treat?

We had one sole visitor last night. A small girl, alone, wandered up to my door and knocked. I swung open the door, and she uttered the words "trick or treat?". This was her first mistake.

"Trick" I promptly replied.....

The girl looked shocked....

"Trick or treat?" she mumbled, visibly shaken.

"Look, by asking the question, we are entering into a verbal contract. I either give you a treat or you give me a trick. I'm giving you nothing, and you're not leaving until I see your trick".

She started to sob, and turned from the door.

I grabbed her arm before she could make good her escape.

"Show me the trick!!" I screamed.

She didn't know what to do..... "Look, you either have a trick for me, or you had no business in offering me the deal in the first place. Now you either show me the trick, or I'm taking all those sweets off you" I growled.

She handed me the sweets, and ran away crying.

"Bloody kids" I muttered, emptying the stolen bag onto my kitchen table.

At least it's just once a year....

Humbug!

Oops!!

I've been a bad blogger. Missed a whole weekend of blogging fun and frolics.

On the flipside of this equation, I've been a busy old fox. Have had a house most overflowing, and a weekend to match.

Have managed to rake the leaves from the lawn - that bloody ash tree really needs some attention. It's bloody big, and it drops a bloody lot of leaves, for a bloody long time. The current windy clime of Huddersfield is most inconsiderate to this end.

Did some baking, with mixed results. Raspberry buns good, chocolate brownies bad. The buns were golden and of a nice texture. The brownies kinda went flat and overcooked, and stuck to the greaseproof paper, and although flavour was good, it will be a chore to eat them.

Finally plugged my Nintendo Gamecube into my lovely spanky new telly. The result, I am pleased to say, was good, good, good. Played a bit of Need For Speed (Most Wanted), some SSX On Tour, a bit of Tony Hawks, and for old time's sake, some XIII.

Went walking on sunday, and took a huge kitchen knife (with hastily crafted carboard cover), and a saw with me. Why? You may well ask!! The walk in question, took us through some prime woodland, and I fancied a stick to accompany me on the journey. I had read somewhere, that walking with a stick can reduce the impact on the knees by (up to) 25%.

I found a suitable stick and hacked and chopped it a bit. Most suitable and gentlemanly it was, until the dog bit it in half. The hastily crafted cardboard cover, of course, played its part, as I promptly sliced my hand in the process. Another hacking and slashing later, and I had my sturdy walking stick. A good walk was had by all, but note to self.... Next time I go walking, remember to put socks on before hiking boots. I only realised at the point of receiving my first blister that I had forgotten to wear socks. What an idiot.

In the vein of idiocy - Over the course of this weekend, I made the ultimate blunder. I went upstairs to my bedroom, tried the door, it wouldn't budge. I knew the window was open in the bedroom and figured that it must have blown shut, or perhaps something had fallen over and wedged itself behind the door. I summoned all my strength, and barged the door with my shoulder.... I think my shoulder gave more than the door... I rattled it, banged it, and generally tried to free it..... To no avail.

I went downstairs and assembled a pair of screwdrivers (because of course all my tools were actually IN the bedroom as a result of my addiction to assembling Ikea furniture) and went back to the door to prise it off the hinges or something. Fox + tools = Rambo on pcp! Of course, someone had beaten me to the door, and had promptly turned the handle and opened it.... I never knew the handle in my bedroom door even turned.... how about that?

I even got round to watching the great film - March of the Penguins - Which, incidentally, is about some penguins that go on a march... I can honestly say, it's a great film.

As previously mentioned, I have been assembling more Ikea furniture. I now have a bedside cabinet, to keep my bedside manner in!!

Within half an hour of blogging my disappointment with Yorkshire Water, they rang me back and made the required appointment. The power of blogging!!

In other news, I helped carve a pumpkin. In my days, when I was but a whipper-snapper, just knee high to the proverbial grasshopper, we used to carve turnips to make lanterns. I don't understand pumpkins. I don't like them, and I certainly don't want to eat them. The design achieved was satisfactory, but in comparison with these, I think we should revert back to our British turnip carving.