Ale to the Tsar!

I'm working again today.... from 3pm to 8pm.... it's what we call the "ale trail" shift, whereby a bunch of drunken drinking parties arrive in a series of villages to guzzle a drink or two before catching the next train out of there.

Between the drinking and train catching, they're usually urinating somewhere.....  the war memorial, the lamposts down the street.... etc etc.... you get the idea.... it's a drunken free-for-all that makes the cash registers sing in regular twenty minute bursts.

I can't complain..... I've got some work.

Anyway.... it means that you're not very likely to catch much of a blog update from me today, and I wanted to share the news that today.... is the local bowling club's "fun day".... which I am told will involve such frivolous activities as "target golf" and a "bouncy castle".........

In one previous "fun day" someone managed to throw something onto the roof of the extension at the back of my house and subsequently put their foot through several roof tiles in the process of retrieving it......

I give to you, today, the task of monitoring the "fun day" via the live(ish) webcam and email me any screen captures of the misdemeanours that may transpire throughout the course of another (expectedly) drunken day - you may also catch some gratuitous shots of someone grilling dead animals on an overturned oil drum.

Good luck with that..... I'll think about you while I am pouring a pint of Carling!

Live(ish) webcam (note: I've found that my Firefox prevents the auto-updating of this page so if yours does the same you can press F5 every ten seconds or so for the latest picture)

Chamone Michael.

The one gloved, plastic surgery experimenting one, is no more. Fifty years of age is pretty damn young for the king of pop to pop his clogs.... I hope someone has the good sense to let the Big Brother contestants know this sad news!!!!!

As for me.... well. I've been taking LOADS of photos..... been walking a bit..... beat the blind, old aged pensioners, to a pulp on the crown green bowling surface.... got drunk..... and today, I've been baking, and baking, and then baking a bit more.

I've made chocolate brownies, hokey pokey coffee cake, and some sundried tomato and parmesan bread. I still need to ice my cake and sort out the walnut praline for it, but other than that it's a wrap!!

Going out for some noodles tonight. Big Brother eviction night too - woohoo!!


The view across Foxstone Moss - Ironically, I never even knew of our foxy connection. I would have normally referred to this location as Buckstones, but am much happier now I've actually looked it up. It's just more cotton grass.

Struggle.....

I ALWAYS say I should never drink and blog.....

I ALWAYS find material that I consider to be bloggable whilst drinking.......

Quandary.....

Is it the fact that I am drinking that makes life more bloggable, or is it that drinking makes me more perceptive to bloggable material..... or is it, as I suspect, that drinking simply makes me consider the mundane to be hilarious blog matter?

Cases in question.....

Drinking in the Jug and Bottle AKA "Drug and Brothel" with the rastas trying to sell me weed - I thought he said "do you want a wee?" to which I replied.... "No I'm off for a shit!!" - only joking!!

A young girl on the back seat of the bus, perturbed that I dare to sit there, moves her sprawled legs from the seat and proceeds to pretend that the bus is her office and her friends are her business clients on her mobile phone - "and if Jody asks, tell her I arranged it last Saturday and I didn't tell you 'til today!!" thereby incriminating her accomplices in the lie. I did particularly enjoy the ten minutes she spent pressing buttons and pretending to be texting or doing something with her phone when nobody was bothered about her.

Watching a young lady flicking through a book of guitar tabulations.... she was reading the classic Oasis hit - Don't look back in anger ..... she then flicked through to Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge over troubled waters - as she closed the book, I noticed, with immense kudos, that she was reading "Ukelele Chart Hits".........

Judge for yassen!!



Although this duck appeared outside the Riverhead in Marsden, my mum swears blind she saw it in Slawit..... I think it was a cuckoo!!!

Are we there yet?

Almost done.... just the piffling matter of New Year's Eve to get out of the way and soon, very soon, things can start to get back to normal.

So what's been occurring?

Christmas - spent recovering from flu. Had a few beers (on my own - not something I do very often) at the excellent Drop Inn in Elland - Treacle Stout makes for a great chrimbo tipple. The rest of the day I spent cooking up a storm for my own christmas dinner - A fake chicken roast thing, a sublime cauliflower cheese, cabbage, carrots, roast potatoes, stuffing, gravy, honey roast parsnips and the obligatory brussel sprouts - I am still trying to work out why my folks are so fixated with people eating or not eating brussel sprouts - I know my mum doesn't like pineapple so why would I force her (under peer pressure) to eat it?

Fell asleep in the afternoon with a bottle of excellent Leeds Pale Ale in my hand.

As for christmas gifts.... I wonder why I bother!! Dawn and I both agreed to only spend a tenner on each other and that worked quite well..... I got a keyring, a Woman's weekly cook book and a cowboy story (possibly the most costly postage of tat ever???) from the Australian relatives - A DVD from Dawn's kids..... Socks from my Aunty Jan..... chocolate coins, socks, liqueur chocolates and some love hearts from mum (presumably they ventured no further than Slaithwaite chocolate shop) and that's it!!

My flu has finally effed off..... Good old Cock o' the North have had a beer festival..... been for a walk around Scammonden Dam......

Much ado about naff all!!

Quite amazingly.

No matter how hard I try to keep up with my blog, it just seems to run away from me. I can't believe I didn't make a post since Thursday already!!

What have I been doing that's been so exciting?

Drinking beer mostly.

Took a trip into York yesterday and even managed a trip to the splendid and very friendly York Brewery. Took the tour and drank the splendid beer. Very enjoyable. You can't beat a drop of Yorkshire Terrier or a pint of Guzzler!!



Oystercatchers in Anglesey. Having never seen an oystercatcher up close before, I was pleased to grab a snap of this one, even though I had to squelch out into the mud of a low tide to get near enough to them. Lovely orange beak and I love the seaweed covered rock behind it too.

Foot off....

Foot off the pedal and onto the leaf litter.

I've had a couple of walking days. These starkly contrast with the couple of drinking days/nights that preceded. A sojourn into the boozy boundaries of Brighouse and a lighthearted look at Elland's finest hostelries, complete with the Barge and Barrel's beer festival have left me with a desire to walk some of it off.

Saturday night and for a change we stayed in and had a curry. Having taken Stevie the wonder dog out on a suitably strenuous hike during the day, I was neither in the mood nor were my paws of sound quality to make a hike out to yet another establishment to sample more beery wares.

An indigestion inspiring vegetable madras and a peshwari naan (and potatoes and peas.... pilau rice.... chapattis.... onion bhajis..... you get the idea!!) with Harry Hill's TV Burp and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, made for a classically Novemberish night in on the sofa.

I love Autumn.



The playground of my childhood - Rocking Stones Quarry - used to be on the left on this picture, but since work resumed and has ceased again, is now on the right of this picture. You can see on the left where they have flattened over their workings and nature is gradually reclaiming the scoured earth. Nice gatepost, and a fine illustration for Maxxo that it was in fact a lovely day here yesterday - sorry buddy!!

Partly to blame.

Well, another month has passed since my last post - I'm really getting rather bad at this "blogging" lark. I once heard that the road to something was paved with good intentions or something or other. Perhaps, in order to catch up with what has been going on, and indeed to provide someone who might stumble upon my blog with something to look at, I'll try, over the next few days, to post some "catch up" pictures.



Friday October 3rd - Irish Centre, Huddersfield - Oktoberfest. The campaign for real ale's annual beer festival. Attended this year by myself and my uncle's brother John, who used to actually be a teacher at the school I went to. Needless to say, I got a bit pissed!!

Old Salt.

Just because I probably won't get proper time on Saturday for real (it's just after midnight, so technically it really is Saturday), I thought I'd better at least try to keep up the posting.


Dawn, enjoying a drink of Weston's organic cider at Fanny's Ale House in Saltaire near Bradford, last weekend. For those that don't know Saltaire, it's a world heritage site which is made up of a mill and housing created by Titus Salt. It's worth a journey there to see some cool David Hockney works, and more importantly it's bloody free!!

Blinking.

It's the post modern fusion of drinking and blogging.... formerly known simply as pissed-up-blogging, and like pissed-up-texting is usually something to be avoided at all costs.

I fly in the face of convention and bring you a drunken rant.

Attending a beer festival is always a mixture of pleasure and pain. The pleasure is quite transparently the delicious and varied range of ales readily on offer. The pain, probably a bit less obvious to non-frequenters of such events comes in the shape of strange people with plastic bottles and funnels and reams of printed literature, scrutinising the half-pint measure lines for the slightest discrepancy.

I even saw one myopic lady tapping her glass with a pen to make the beer reach that elusive half-pint measure line.

I could swear at this point.

The other side of beer festivals is people like me.... ready to talk to people, ready to enjoy drinking the beer instead of sipping it and bottling it and weighing and measuring its specific gravity..... a beer festival to me is about more than beer, it's a festival too.

And so.... I wanted to give you a simple flavour of my tasting notes from today.... they made me smile.... perhaps they will work on you too....

Beer No. 1: Brewdog's Hop Rocker - Delicate, refreshing, hoppy, almost like lager.

Beer No. 7: Derwent's Local bitter - Like being mashed around the gob by a bag of hazel nuts.

There seemed little point in trying to further analyse beer other than to just drink the bloody stuff.

Suffice to say....

Hooray for Fred.... a good beer festival companion.

Hooray for Folly the Star Inn's resident dog (aged 6 tomorrow).

Hooray for Tizzi, the Star Inn's aloof tabby cat (age unknown).

Hooray for beer.

Hooray for the Star Inn, Huddersfield.

Ahhhhh.

Rarely do I spend a more relaxing weekend than the one that has just elapsed. It's been really busy, but thoroughly relaxing and enjoyable at the same time.

In beer terms, it was a joy!!

Managed a few pints at the Three Pigeons in Halifax, and was pleased to taste my first drop of "Silver Fox" which is the Ossett Brewery's ale for March. Very very nice and a beer that I have been waiting to come round. Can't wait to sup another!!

Beer festival? Brilliant. The success of a beer festival is truly measured by the fact that we had to wait for two people to stagger out before we were allowed to take our turn at selecting our poisons. Me, I jumped straight into the "mild trail" and supped a goodly selection before being rewarded, bang on the end of session bell, with a free glass of the mild of my choice. I chose the Midnight Bell from the Leeds Brewery (sponsors of this particular festival) and I was not disappointed. Top mild!!

My only beery regret is that I didn't have time or the constitution required to sample some of the porters on offer at the festival...... I will make up for that neglect at the Star's beer festival later this week.

Other than drinking beer, I've been....

Riding my bike. I managed to talk the lovely Dawn into getting on the spare bike and coming for a bike ride. Dawn was apprehensive, but once we got going, and we went along at Dawn's pace and chatted as we rode and managed to stay warm, there was no stopping her..... I was really impressed how well we managed do.

Shopping. A Sunday trip to Wilko's!! Hurray, I love the Wilkinsons.

Cooking. Baking bread and food for the most part of the weekend.

Now I'm relaxed.... chilling with my CycloDS.... more on that later!!

Whisky makes you frisky.

Brandy makes you randy.

And beer.......? I'm off to the festival of course!!

Yes folks, the first ever beer festival I attended was the Leeds beer, cider and perry festival, and that time of year is upon us again!!

During the course of this weekend, they'll be serving up a mouth-watering 150 ales and a choice of 25 ciders and perries. I am SO looking forward to it.

As if that wasn't enough.....

Next week is The Star's beer festival at Folly Hall in Huddersfield, and theirs (as pub festivals go) is the pinnacle my friends!!

Roll out the barrel.... hic!

I go out.....

... On Friday night, and I come home on Saturday morning.

I'm off out for a post-Christmas drink tonight.

I've had my fill of warmed up turkey.... pie and peas.... sugared almonds..... chocolate liqueurs... selection box components.... and left over ends of pieces of cheese.

A man cannot live by leftovers alone.

I've drunk some fruit wine.... I've drunk some bottled beers.... I've even drunk cans of lager which were shaken up and fizzed all over the place when they were opened.

What I've really missed is a pub, and a decent drink. A fresh pint, selected from a choice of real beers, and a sit down and a good chat.

I've listened to a lot of radio... watched some television... and played too much guitar hero!!

Time to get out and paint the town red.....

Manana bananas!

Just take five.

I am feeling relaxed today. Despite waking up with a banging headache and no internet connection.... some things are going my way.

First: Spice, yes your suggestion of "Chicken Rhythm" was duly noted and fulfilled. You know what? I like it!! Let's not think this means I am now playing requests though!! You've all got your own bloody blogs to fill with nonsense!! Hope everyone enjoys the new tune and spares a thought for me while I am "mucking out" this week!!

Second: Part of the reason behind today's headache was a few pints at the Barge and Barrel in Elland last evening. I think the "Bargee" was not quite up to scratch and may account for the thick head. What I did taste there, however, was something that launched me into beery heaven. Black Bee - A honey porter. I have recently discovered that (as a life long devotee of Chestnut Mild) I like mild and I like Guinness.... imagine my surprise to find a drink that falls inbetween the two.... and then to find a very nice honey brewed version of said drink..... paradise!!

Third: I am taking Dawn out tonight for a meal. She has been working really hard lately, and we don't always get the time together that she deserves... especially since I am confined to the chicken coop m0st nights..... It's not so much that I can't go out, as much as how bad I would feel if anything happened when I WAS out. We are going for noodles to Leeds... to Fuji Hiro.... one of our all time favourites.

Fourth: The bowling club at the back of my house has finally erected a smoking shelter!!!! It has been a constant source of disgruntlement to me, but amusing to webcam viewers, that the smokers congregate outside the door of the club, just outside my bedroom window. It gets quite noisy with the window open at night. Well, if you've been glued to "bowling cam" today, you'd have seen them putting up a smoking shelter at the other side of the club. Hooray!! It also means that anyone wishing to go to the club, will now (hopefully) no longer have to walk through a group of smokers blowing their wares in your face! I sound like a sanctimonious ex-smoker already!!

Fifth: It's a beeee-yooo-teeeee-ful day!! I've been "twitching" in the garden at Pole Moor. Not as a side effect of copious amounts of real-ale, and subsequent lack of it..... but in the fashion of bird-watching. There's some lovely birds out there. A similar bunch to the ones I get at home, but with a few differences...... Out there: Regular visits by pairs of blackbirds. The kestrel is never far away and is a delightful sight hovering over the fields. Thrushes.... I've seen quite a few of them, and it's not uncommon to see two or three chasing each other round the vegetable patches - Not sure if they are song or mistle. Wren, the little wren, my favourite bird.

Five and a halfth: I know this was supposed to be a Saturday Sample blog, but I forgot!! I thought it was Friday!! I've been Pole Moored!!

Cop out.

Bloody hell. Sometimes you realise that what you do is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Tonight, I stood, in one of Huddersfield's "real ale" pubs (which is admittedly why I was there... ale) and it was apparently "open mic" night.

Rarely have I been to such an event, and perhaps more surprisingly, even more rarely would I knowingly frequent such an event...... but let me tell you this.... Britain's got talent!!!

There was a chap there, who chose to recite poetry.... in front of a drunken crowd?? This guy was rocketing up in my estimation.

By the end of his performance, two pieces.... one about two pandas shagging, and one written specifically for the venue, the rat and ratchet.... (rat and rat-shit.... if you didn't get it), I was completely hooked.

I could do no more. I did something I have never done before, and wrote my email address and blog address on a piece of paper, tried to encourage the chap (in my inimitably amateur way) and hoped he would get in touch.

I live to deliver a video of the panda poem to you all.

I hope, and this is not showboating, but, I hope if he comes to see me, that he will see:

Toast.

and.......

Gonzo.

Two extreme examples of what happen here.

All hail, the people who make unexpected things happen, the world over.

I kneel in silent prayer. I write stupid words from behind a keyboard, but I would never DARE to stand up in front of a crowd and speak such things..... listen to the tune over the top..... it's a truth I'd never dare speak!!!

Enjoy.

Oh, a brief update to this posting: I promised myself not to go drunken blogging, but there ya go!! Don't drink and blog!!

Yodel-ay-eh-eeeeh.

Brilliant.

The Huddersfield Oktoberfest seemed to be a success.

Lots of be-bearded types ticking off beers they had drunk, and some going to extreme lengths by using laptops to record their chosen tipple's details - Who knows what they were recording?? They are the equivalent of train spotters, and in the beer world, they're called "tickers".

So, we arrived at the beer festival at about two in the afternoon. To the best of my knowledge, we left some time after six in the evening.

It all started off so well.... calculated and carefully chosen "local" produce for me, and Fred on the "mild trail" - which would reward each drinker with a free half pint for every five purchased.

First stop, the little village of Golcar, and the brewery there have lovingly crafted a honey beer, made with honey from the North Yorkshire moorland. The same moorland I was seen to be riding a horse across earlier this year. Lily Bee - A fine drop and I savoured and tasted it.

Next stop Marsden, and following on from my recent (disappointing) excursion to Black Moss Reservoir, how could I possibly pass up the opportunity to drink some Black Moss Stout. Thick, black and very treacly, like bonfire toffee, and extremely malty, unpleasant to the first mouthful, but it got better towards the bottom. I love the Riverhead's beers.


The rows of barrels in front of the bar. Lots to go at. Lots to experience. No chance of seeing it all.

Third up.... A journey back along the Colne Valley to Slaithwate (Slawit of course) and to the Empire Brewery. I've never drunk a Slawit beer before, and following the intensity of Black Moss Stout, what would be the obvious choice? Well, the brewery is called Empire and they do a bitter called "Strikes Back", so why the hell wouldn't you? It was pleasant enough, but the stir that their "Golden Warrior" was creating was making me wish I had used the force and chosen more wisely.... This was not the beer I was looking for!!!

Fourth...... Chosen for two reasons. I want to sample more beer from Elland. It's not far from my house, just down the hill on the opposite side to the Colne Valley, into Calderdale. They have two breweries, and their beer isn't seen everywhere. Which brewery first? The choice was made for me, when I discovered a beer that was brewed to commemorate the one-thousandth organ recital at Halifax Parish Church. Snetzler Special. A toffee flavoured bitter that was nice, although a little stronger but I was pleased to have been hooked by its provenance.

Fifth.... The other brewery in Elland.... Their weaker of two beers, the Mitchell Eastwood Best Bitter. A welcome drop of light refreshment at the point where my mate "The Turtle" joined us for a few beers.


Thirsty punters lining up and behaving, waiting to get served. The odd one or two complaining about not getting a full measure, but this is Camra after all!!!!

Sixth, back to the Riverhead in Marsden for their Wessenden Wheat beer. I have to say that this was unlike any wheat beer I've ever drunk and was a little disappointing. Light and fruity, very much like a pint of bitter (and clear where wheat beer simply shouldn't be in my experience) but with a very subtle top to it. Something in the top of the taste that my (by now) battered taste buds couldn't quite discern or describe made it stand out from the bitters I'd chosen so far. Not the best beer of the day for me, but not unpleasant.

Seven saw me casting my net far and wide, to snare a beer from the very small Wagtail Brewery in Norfolk. Back to the black stuff, for a drop of their Black Shuck Stout. Deliciously malty, not over roasted or burnt and very, very, very drinkable. Under different circumstances I'd have sat and drunk a few of these and also the Riverhead's Black Moss Stout too.


The Turtle strikes tombola gold winning a bottle of very cheap and nasty bucks fizz!! Note the ever present glass of cider!!

Eight..... Back up north, for a beer that tickled my funny bone. There is a place not far from here called Hebden Bridge. It's a nice place, but it used to have quite a hippy dippy, dope smoking reputation. It was known as herb-den bridge in my days!! Anyhoo, their Little Valley brewery had created a bitter brewed with hemp leaves, with the imaginative nomenclature of Yorkshire Hemp. I didn't like it... it was the fruitiest drink I had all day and it just wasn't what I was looking for at all. My run of picking winners by their names was coming to an end.

Nine.... Let's give Hebden Bridge another crack of the whip and try their other brewer, Bridestones, Oktoberfest Special. A very dark bitter. Cloudy, dark, deep and rich. Malt, chocolate, and brewed especially for the festival. not my favourite beer, but an essential choice given how much I was enjoying the atmosphere.

Ten..... Shit..... I should have seen this coming...... Thanks Turtle for coercing me into paying a visit to the "Cider Bar"....... It could only end in tears.

Where was I??

Ten.... Cider...... After tasting a few of the ciders on offer to make a better informed choice..... I, of course, picked one by name..... Fiery Fox!! I have looked it up since drinking it, and it would appear that it came from Wales.... it was strong at about six and a half percent, and by Jove it was nice.

Eleven..... I'd already called for my mum to come and collect us by now, and we were on our way out when I decided we should take a beer out with us while we waited. I am sure Fred disapprovingly agreed, and I don't even remember if he chose one or not......

Eleven..... Like a moth to a flame..... back to the cider bar........

Eleven..... I rambled to some proper cider drinkers something about wanting a cider but not one that smelled like a volcano.... they seemed to know what I was on about and promptly issued me with a glass of something that I remember being very pleasant. I don't know what it was......


On the way home. Clutching a final glass of cider, and looking across Huddersfield from the Irish Centre. A nice way to end the day.

Next stop fish and chip supper!!

Magic.

I was expecting a headache today, but I feel great.... I could do it all again!!

Well done Camra, and well done Huddersfield. Well done Irish Centre, and well done micro brewers everywhere.

Oktoberfest.

Don't mention the war.

I hadn't, until this morning, considered the implications of taking Fred (a fully trained fighting and killing machine, and war hardened veteran) to an event called Oktoberfest. I do hope there isn't too much bloodshed!!

Yes, it's the morning of the Huddersfield Beer Festival. I'm looking forward to it. The biggest problem I have with beer is that I like it, but wish it didn't make me quite so bloody drunk all the time. I'm a lousy drunk, as I am sure most people who have witnessed me in that state will undoubtedly testify.

I just have to remember that today is about beer tasting..... only buy halves, and try not to just go necking bloody big boys' pints of the strongest porters and perries that I can find. I think I will hang a sign round my neck insisting that no matter what I ask for to "only serve me half a weak stuff" at a time... the more I protest, the less they should serve me.

Beer festivals are not a place for drunken bravado or betting that you can drink a pint of everything down one side of the room!!

Well....

In other news......

It's taken me a while to come back to all those who seemed to think that me getting a "Mac" would be some sort of sensible decision when my computer was having a bad hair day, but here goes.....

1) My computer is behaving itself for now, so panic over.
2) I like to run software on my computer (it's what makes it so useful) and everyone knows that there are no games and/or software packages other than CAD that run on Macs.
3) I don't need an ornaments for my table. I like to use my computer, not admire its sleek design.
4) I don't need an iPod either.
5) I am presuming the next bit of wisdom from the Mac-heads' repertoire would be for me to run some sort of Windoze emulator on a Mac.... I don't even need to respond to that do I?
6) I don't want to end up like your average Mac user.

Also, I've just noticed (ironically) that the German bug that's been with us for so long on Blogger has now gone. Hooray for Oktoberfest!!

Stuff....

.... and nonsense.

I've been busy doing "background" tasks.

These tasks are essential to my "online" existence and take up a great deal of time. Not many people notice that I have done them or even care, but I know things are tidier, neater, more organised, and much happier - In complete contrast to my "real" life!!

So, for a few examples:

Flickr - I have been adding, subtracting, tagging, geotagging, dating, uploading, and generally making my whole collection there as comprehensive as possible. New sets for Yorkshire Sculpture Park and Black Moss walk. Lots of new "phone camera" pics too.

Random Shopping - I am trying to make sure that my "Random Shopping" blog doesn't die on its arse. It's hard enough to keep one blog going (as I am sure you lazy non-updating-buggers will agree) but to keep two on the go, and make them remotely interesting is a task of some size. In order that I DO keep Random Shopping open, I have diversified into the world of discarded shopping lists.

Reading - I now subscribe to forty-four blogs in my snazzy Google blog reader. I need to subscribe to so many, so that at least someone will give me something to read each day!! Consider yourselves "roasted" for inactivity, AGAIN!

In an "offline" context I've also been quite busy:

Reading: Having recently finished another Lynsay Sands historical - The Switch, I've moved on to: Ben Elton - Stark (in the bedroom) and Robert Sabbag - Snowblind (in the reading room!).

Watching: I don't get much time to watch a lot of television at the moment. I love the 4OD and BBC iPlayer, because they allow me to download the television I missed and watch it at my leisure. I am loving CH4's Dogface, and have been watching ITV's Hell's Kitchen (which has of course (for me at least) been dreadful and compulsive).

Playing: Sims 2 with my left hand and Pogo with my right.

Picking: Blackberries. Nature's bounty is exploding around us. We managed to harvest ten pounds of blackberries on Saturday morning. Nettle stings, and ripping of thorns. The blackberry plant seems so ancient and unsophisticated, yields its fruit so easily, and you can't help but feel the primeval surge, knowing it has always been this way. Low effort in, maximum reward. Survival.

Anything else?:

Getting depressed at the quality of these photographs.

Finding this link for my tap-playing cousin.

Drinking "real ale" at the Three Pigeons (an art deco pub) in Halifax.

Eating curry at Zam Zams in Elland - Bloody gorgeous!!

Surprise!!

I am truly surprised by the reaction to my previous post. It would seem that my passion for birdfeeding is not such an isolated case. Messages of support have been flooding in.... well a couple of people mentioned that they also indulge, and that's nice.

This year is the first year that I have had baby birds living in and around my garden, and it fills me with delight.

There's a family with three baby goldfinches. The juveniles looking similar to their parents, but lacking the vibrant red patch on their heads. They have a resplendent yellow "Z" down their wings though.

A family with three baby robins, and they are just starting to get their red breasts and to lose their spotty juvenile down. They've been such good company this summer. Apparently they are rarely seen in July and August, but I have had a garden full of them.

Bluetits nested in the holes in the cement between my house and next door. You wouldn't even know there was a hole there to be honest, and it took me a while to actually find where they were flying their beakfulls of worms into. Lots of chicks and still a good number in the garden.

Other feathered friends without families it would seem are:

Collared dove; Starling; Dunnock; Wren; Sparrow; Chaffinch; Greenfinch; Blackbird; Thrush;

In other news.....

Big Brother.... we're winding down, and tomorrow is the final. I'd be lying if I said I was excited, but I am looking forward to it. I think I have managed to keep my blog fairly Big-Brother-free during the mammoth thirteen week stint.

Beer: I've got a hankering for some real ale this weekend. I am going to give both The Star at Lockwood, and The Grove at Springwood a shot. From what I've read, they are two of Huddersfield's finest "ale" pubs, and I am getting a bit old for drinking wihtout being able to speak to my companions.

Antichrist: I have made the fatal error of reinstalling the antichrist of video gaming onto my computer. I had it before, but after it ruined my lust for gaming and lowered my self esteem to nothingness, it had to die. The Sims 2 rides again!! How many weeks will I spend maintaining my virtual real estate, while my real house and life fall into complete disrepair around my ears??

Yorkshire Pudding: You don't scare me, you big puddin'!

Random kindness: Still working on this one. Pol, it was also on R2 the other day when the lovely Davina was standing in for someone. Those blagards have robbed me blind and cast me assunder.

Blog updates: I know it doesn't look like I have been here much lately, and the posts have been thin on the ground, but believe me, I've been working my fingers to the bone for you. Here's a brief list of things that have changed:

Random Shopping has started again.

The navigation stuff on the right hand side of my page was looking really shabby, and there were so many sections with different little snippets in them, and I know nobody read any of them, so I have turned each section into a blog entry.... Feel free to click some fo the things under the "Blogbits" section on the right hand side to see what I mean.

Flickr: Not only did I upload a little section of photos for Connor (and tag them all, and geotag them all, and title, and description them), but I also uploaded a few new ones of my own. Feel free to head across to Flickr and look at mine and/or Connor's pics.

Bloglines: My cousin Sophia mentioned (sometime earlier this year) that there was a product out there called "bloglines" which manages all the blogs that you read. My list of blogs to read was becoming so long, that I have (more by necessity than curiosity) invested some effort into it, and I am loving it. If you have a long blog list to trawl through, then I suggest you set it up for yourself. Thanks Soph.... Also: I found the Guitar Hero disc that I couldn't find when you were here - didn't take me long huh?

Bowling cam: More new pictures on my dedicated bowling cam highlights page.

Pogo; Sims2; Battlefield 1942; Dungeon Keeper2 - Too much time to mention on the aforementioned.

It's official.

I don't have a drink or drugs problem.

The worst thing that happens when I take drugs is that I want to come home and drink coffee.

The worst thing that happens when I get drunk is that I talk to eight year old girls about what sort of dog they own and train on the Nintendo DS Nintendogs game.

I consider myself to be fairly innocuous.

I can relate to adults (that wish to be tickled by fine Oliver Reedesque tales of debauchery) and children (who love playing computer games) alike.

Take for instance.... I am wearing a Super Mario Tshirt.... a guy that I haven't seen for about ten years comes up to me and says I haven't changed a bit - he didn't even need to speak to me!!

Such is life.

Believe me when I tell you I have "caned it" this weekend!!

I now have a season pass to "the priory".

So far, I've discussed stopping smoking with bouncers; talked Nintendog strategy with young girls; I've played golf in the spare bedroom; I've danced with my brother-in-law's brother on the bowling green; Tried to commission new windows for my house; potentially landed two weeks work as a labourer; enabled freeview on my computer; pissed off dozens of friends, relatives and strangers... and it's only just gone Sunday evening.

Not a bad weekend. You have to admit, that's good going for any idiot!!

Here's a random collection of pissed up photos!!


Rob "blissed out"!


Lenny "Having it large style"


The Len and the Westy - Brothers in booze!!


Leesy; Westy; Lenny; Wimpsy; Orey!!


Rob n Paul - I got you bro!!

Noodling.

Just noodling.

That's what I am doing.

I wanted to write about the desecration of one of my favourite watering holes, but of course this would be of no importance to anyone. I should have written about the Grey Horse at Birchencliffe in Huddersfield prior to it changing hands and being completely ruined.

Had I written about it previously, perhaps someone reading it might have taken the time and effort to make the trip and find that it was a good place to go for a drink.

As it stands now, the arty comic prints have gone. No more tea-light candles on every table. No magazine and newspaper rack. The great tunes they used to play, and the atmosphere, rudely shattered by some no-hopers, who in a single flick of a light switch have ruined a lovely boozer.

The fact that I had to take my pint of Guinness back because it tasted of vinegar has nothing to do with it. The fact that when my pint was replaced, she deemed to call me "mate" has nothing to do with it.

I'm not their mate, and I certainly won't be back.

Oops, now I have written about it, and I wasn't going to.

Ok, ignore the last bit.

I've been a good lad today and run an errand for my mum, and also managed to take care of certain banking issues that required immediate attention. I am quite solvent now, so ladies, form an orderly queue.... Only joking...... Calm down Dawn.

I think I might watch a movie or two this afternoon. Something that has a little more pace than staring idly out the window, watching the Greenhead Park Veterans crown green bowling team who have come to challenge the home side here in Outlane.