Success

I caught a good fish!

Down at Riley's Pond on Friday last week, I caught a rather splendid seven and a half pound common carp, which is only about a half a pound short of the pond record.... and I have to say, it was an exciting time for me and the chap in this picture who held the fish for me......  he was as thrilled with this perfect specimen as I was!!

As a rule, during match days, any fish that weighs OVER five pounds is removed from this pond and placed into the bigger pond, so a fish of this size and in such good condition, seemingly never caught before, is VERY rare!

Suffice to say, as soon as this fish had gone back into the water, I packed up my gear and went home..... there wasn't going to be a better way to finish the day.

Goodbye

Goodbye Olympic flame.... you'll be off on your way back to Greece or Rio or wherever it is that you rest inbetween games.

In fairness, I have to admit, that in the run-up to the games, and during the torch procession..... I was decidedly in a state of "meh" about the whole thing.

As it's turned out, I've thoroughly enjoyed the games, and not just our success, either as Great Britain OR as our great state of Yorkshire, but it's been a really great games.

Well done Great Britain..... now let's forget about the games and on Monday morning we can get back to remembering how the bankers are screwing us and we're all frikking skint, and the price of petrol will be going up again.

Ok, that's my Sunday morning rant over.......

Super Sunday Closing Ceremony Searches.

does the 2006 artic fox 19 b have an alumimun frame

I can confirm that the Arctic Fox 19b does have an aluminium superstructure.  I can actually go one step further than telling you that this is a fact, and actually prove it to you.  Click here for the evidence, and what could possibly be deemed as the most awful video I could ever imagine!  If this was a video on youtube I'd be UN-favouriting it.  Also note, aluminium is spelt A L U M I N I U M and there's a C in Arctic..... like ArCtic dammit!

litres to us gallons

Well this is interesting.... I would convert in this manner:

1 US Gallon = 3.8 litres = 0.83 Imperial Gallons

silverbacked earwig

Now I don't know one earwig from another.  I DO however know that Dawn is terrified of earwigs, based simply on the old wives' tale that they crawl into your ears and eat your eardrums and lay eggs in your brain.  Stupid really, but it's still making me queasy typing it.

confused face

The emoticon (internationally recognised) for a confused face is.....

:S

the bait kitchen huddersfield

That'll be my mate Mark's shop then.... he has a facebook page and a website.

Feed a fever....

Somewhere deep at the back of my consciousness, I seem to remember that you're supposed to feed a fever but starve a cold!

I'm not sure where such a tale would come from or whether it has any relevance at all.

Feeling somewhat jaded (i.e. I'm actually dying, but we men don't like to go on about it too much) I decided to take advantage of a brace of fridges (we have a fridge each - myself and Dawn for reasons including: I keep maggots in my fridge for fishing; Dawn brought her fridge with her when she moved in; nobody touches stuff in my fridge cos everything in there usually actually needs cooking and can't be picked up and eaten) that were fairly stuffed with fresh fruit and vegetables.

I knuckled down and made a pan of stew, which included swede, runner beans, potato, onions, carrots and some quorn steak strips (which actually are not bad) and a packet mix of dumplings floating on top..... hearty to say the least.

Once the stew was on the simmer.....

I peeled and chopped and scraped and diced and squashed and spiced and whipped up a rather large pan full to the brim of vegetable curry which included apples, celery, onions, garlic, carrots, cauliflower, potato, sultanas and green beans (long green beans?  French?) and some spices in the form of ginger, turmeric and cayenne.

Once both pans were on the go......

Cracked on and made some fresh fruit salad out of a bunch of fruits that needed using up.... pears, oranges, pineapple, strawberries, and blueberries.

So.... going back to the old adage about feeding a fever and starving a cold..... I'm not actually sure what sort of ailment I'd put myself down as having.....  so I wouldn't know whether to feed it or starve it.....

One thing's for sure though..... I've made enough food to last me until the weekend and I'm pretty sure that it can only do me good!  I've got a belly full of stew.... I've had some fruit salad..... and in about an hour (just chance to watch one episode of Walking Dead).... I'll be away to my pit!

Na-night!

Hand - floor - armour

As a child I was never much into the game of charades....  perhaps it was the thought of Lionel Bleurgh, Una Stubbs and their "jobbing" luvvie friends cavorting merrily on-screen with their secret handshake Da Vinci code style clues.....  i.e. They had a series of repeated actions that you would never find in any other game of charades, like when they touch their nose and point to the person who said the correct word that they had been miming to suggest that they had got it right.....  Twaddle of the highest calibre, and SO overly camp!

Anyhow......

I  DID say I was never much into it... but that doesn't mean we never played it.....

For one thing, as a child, how are you supposed to know if, let's say for instance, Lord of the Rings is a TV show, a film, a book, a play or a song or indeed any combination of the above!  I bet Lionel and Una never had to argue that there had never been a TV series of Lord of the Flies.......  ridiculous concept then.

I only have two memories (and they may well be clues as to why we didn't play it much).....

When someone tried to mime the hit TV show "Panorama" we managed to arrive unconvincingly at "hand-floor-armour" and I think the game was over shortly thereafter.....

Another game of equal success left us with a very firm suggestion that "Emu-gin soldiers" was actually a book and a film, only to be let down by the final answer of "Virgin Soldiers" - Again.... a decent "mimer" could really have given us kids something to think about with that one!!

And all this tomfoolery and shennanigoats leads me to the following......

Whilst in the Lake District recently, I took some photographs - I posted a link to this flickr set yesterday.... but today I've added something very special to that set......

A selection of hand-floor-armours!

wooo - OOO - ooo

Ok the ghost-posting has stopped - I'm home again!

Spent a feverish few days in the Lake District.

Snow on the hill tops.... warm sunshine..... rucksack.... t-shirt..... sweating.... freezing.....  a recipe for man flu if ever there was one and now I'm in a right old tangle!

I love it in the Lakes....  there's always something new to see.... somewhere new to visit..... a new hill to walk up.... and a whole range of chance and fortune with regards to what the weather will do.

It's been lovely weather as it happens.  The very second we sat down at a cafe for our first cup o' tea in the lakes, the heavens opened.... it hailed, it rained..... and it blew for an hour or so.... it was NOT a good omen, but as it turned out that was the first and last of the bad stuff.

The snowy hill tops gradually receded during our stay and we were treated to glorious spring-like displays with sumptuous green and golden hues contrasting with blue skies and fluffy white clouds.

Well, of course I've taken a few photos and we've done a "little " walk......

Langdale Pikes - A paltry 4.7 miles with a whopping 2439 feet of ascent - and conversely a knee shattering equal descent!!

A full flickr set is here!

Sunday?

Curse you Easter weekend.... when Sunday feels like Saturday and Monday feels like Sunday and I don't know which end is up any more.

I've been a bit busy doing absolutely nothing to even get around to writing a blog lately....  I've hunted a few geocaches (mostly in vain).... done a bit of shopping, a bit of walking, a bit of socialising, a bit of partying.....

And now, on Monday and it feels like Sunday.... and I'm wondering what to do next.

Hope there's a decent coffee shop open somewhere - could do with nice cuppa!

Was supposed to go metal detecting with spice-the-cat today but it's too wet and muddy everywhere and nobody but hippopotami would enjoy rolling around in THAT!

So, the hunt for coffee will commence.....

night night

just wanted to show off the fruits of my labour - an experiment with a filter and a tripod yielded this lovely moonscape tonight.

Good night all!

oh go on then.... here's a crop of it...... self indulgent idiot that I am.....

Would you....

... credit it?

The great British voting public have only gone and elected hatemongers Nick Griffin and Andrew Brons to the European Parliament. Well, let me tell you this, they can have their seats, and their supporters of diminished mental capacity, but they'll never represent me.

If you can be arsed to sign the petition against them, then you probably would have voted against them, but it's not too late to have a say. Sign here against racism and hatred.

We're a bunch of apathetic voters in this country, and the recent expenses row has meant not enough people could be arsed to vote..... Apparently the whole turnout to the European elections has dropped every year since it started thirty years ago, so it's not just us.

There's a lesson in here somewhere and it's not just that we will all get to see, first hand, what a twat Nick Griffin is, although that may well be the case. Shame on us all!!

What goes.....

White, red, blue, red, white???

Answer: Me, in the snow, walking, and then catching man flu!!

I'm officially dying of man flu.

My lungs feel like I have started smoking again.... my temperature is all over the place.... I have the most feeble broken glass cough..... sleep pattern's gone to the dogs..... can't even raise the enthusiasm to stay awake long enough to watch a film (that being said, I've managed to watch (with some cunning rewinding over the bits I fell asleep in) Horton Hears a Who (very good); Bee Movie (Very poor); and Ratatouille (OK)) = lovely nested parentheses!!

On the plus side of being so desperately ill, I've managed to spend some time organising the mountains of digital media that I manage to accumulate in such a haphazard fashion. Electronic spring cleaning, you can't beat it!!



Early morning New Hey Road - This was Tuesday morning, but it's a shot I like. The streetlight phosphor orange glow is quite tasty.

Dark night.

It's a dark night, and a good night to watch the Dark Knight.....

I've been up to my elbows in films again. Spent a bit of time watching some old black and whites, watched a few episodes of John Shuttleworth's 500 Bus Stops, and crowned it all off with a viewing of the Dark Knight movie.... the one with Heath Ledger as a crazy arsed Joker and Christian Bale as a Batman with a Samuel Tweetesque speech impediment!!?? (anyone remember Thamuel Thweeth?)

At two and a half hours long it's a bit beyond my standard concentration levels and there were a couple of moments where I felt it was going on a bit but I stuck it out and thought it was a good film, albeit quite brutal and much too harsh for the younger eyes that I might have liked to lend it to under normal circumstances.

As for the rest of the day..... well.... gas fires were quite important..... Pictureka (a game like "Where's Wally") played a large part.... waiting in my car playing Pokemon while my mum attended various health centres..... ginger wine.... parkin pigs..... cherry scones..... usual stuff.

Perhaps I've got room for a beer tomorrow?



Perplexing: 3:38pm (last Saturday afternoon) in Albert Square..... I thought it was Coronation Street in Manchester, not Eastenders!! A very busy European Christmas Market and a giant illuminated santa.... what more could you ask for? The more eagle eyed amongst you may spot Sally Webster wandering about like she's just been discharged from a mental hospital complete with straightjacket (or perhaps you won't?)!! I might be wrong about this being Albert Square.... Sally Webster may not be in this picture.... I've still got that one-leg-shorter-than-the-other trademark tilt!!

Turned out.....

... nice again.

A trip to Formby, a place I knew little about, yielded an empty, sandy, windswept day by the sea. Usual stuff.... eating sand with sandwiches, picking over the myriad of tide-strewn detritus, getting wet, windswept, and generally just plain old sandy.

I heartily recommend the beach at Formby (near Liverpool) for anyone looking for a quiet place for romantic walks..... dog walking...... shell scavenging..... and even (squirrel pox permitting) the spotting of red squirrels.


Just a sample of the seabirds that you can buy in Formby. This one comes with its on sand dunes and includes delivery anywhere within a ten miles radius.

Step away....

Step away from the Nintendo!!

I'm trying to ween myself off from my Nintendo DS.

I don't have a problem with playing it twenty hours a day. I don't have a problem with falling asleep with it clutched in my sweaty palms and waking up to its tinny speakers playing some weird loop of music from an aquarium simulator that I was playing. I don't even have a problem with breaking out in a cold sweat when the low power light comes on and I am out of the immediate reach of a suitable power supply.

The reason(s) I am keen to ween are along the following lines:

I have a nine AM job interview on Friday this week. It would therefore seem logical that I try to get back into some sort of routine in a two day preparation ritual. I also need to spend some time doing "revision" to ensure that I at least know what the job that I have applied for entails, and some background info on the relevant organisation. (I will give more details about this job after I've either passed the test or embarrassed myself into oblivion later this week).

Real life things. Despite being cocooned in a soft, fluffy, cotton wool wrapped Nintendoland for more time than I would care to add up, there is no doubt that my time of "retirement" must come to an end soon.

Bike. If I had spent any fraction of the amount of Nintendotime actually riding my bike, in the real world, real air, rain, snow, hills, and mud, then I might not currently be two dress sizes bigger than my ideal size!!

Brain draining. Doctor Kawashima has a lot to answer for. The Brain Training game that came out (a long time ago) for the Nintendo DS did more than get us to sharpen our mental agility. The rash of "training" programs that followed it have resulted in a two hour door (I would normally call it a window but you can see through a window, this block of time is not transparent, it's solid, and a real daily obstacle for me) where I embark on a range of daily training activities.... Picross, Ninja Reflex, Maths Training, Brain Training, More Brain Training, Puzzle League.... I can't function until I have satisfied this unhealthy quota of training.

And so......

I must step away from the virtual aquarium.

In other news:

There must be a phrase that sums up a situation where you lose something, but find something of equal value? I've heard of losing a something and finding a something else, but it's usually an expression of gaining something...... Anyhoo, if I knew the phrase, then I'd be saying it in relation to the fact that for the first time ever, I appear to have a pair of sparrows nesting in my garden (following the tragedy of losing my robin nest in the snow and wind earlier in the week). I don't often get many sparrows, so it's nice that they've chosen to stay.

Customer service. Following on from yesterday's order for a new ISP (just twenty-four hours).... I have received no fewer than six messages to my mobile phone advising me that different phases of the process are taking place. Service indeed!! A nice touch is that they messaged me to say that my equipment arrives tomorrow and as a pre-emptive measure I can simply reply to the text with any one of a range of numbers to pick alternate delivery dates. Let's hope that:
a) When I need to speak to someone, they are in this country and know what they are talking about.
b) The "up time" of the new service can even partly compare to the current service provider.

(For the records: I was with Zen - they're fantastic if you can afford them, absolutely top notch.... I am now going with O2 - a mobile phone company which isn't Orange, but the negative vibes are spooking me!!)

Searching on a snoozy Sunday.

Well, after some fine tapas (at Les Caveaux in Holmfirth) and a couple of beers (at the Barge and Barrel in Elland) last evening, it turned into a snow laden, relaxed, snoozy Sunday.

Here's some searches to cheer you up.

black beer and raisin wine (Google)
It's a firm favourite of my lovely girlfriend, and I'm quite fond of it too. I've been to two pubs that serve it: The Head of Steam in Huddersfield and The Maltings in York. From what I can gather, there are two different types of black beer and raisin wine, and they're made by Gales and Lindisfarne.

KRUMLIN - 1970 pictures (Google)
There's not really a lot of info about this here washed-out festival - The most I can find is here. I think my dad went there..... I think Tony might know something about it if you ask nicely!!

"fat tulip" "garden" "download" (Google)
Pre Baldric, pre time-team.... Tony Robinson at his best telling tales of Fat Tuplip's Garden!!

how long does an arctic fox live with its mom (Google)
I left home when I was twenty one.... next question.

Today's temperature in Golcar (Google)
Cold! Seriously if you want weather, then look across at my weather widget on the right hand side and you'll see what it is like in Golcar.... I don't live more than a mile or two away.

I Like toast. A little bit o' toast. White bread, brown bread (Google)
Paul Young and the Streetband? Toast? A great song, and one that inspired my lifelong love of bread based produce. How did Paul Young ever turn so crap? (Wherever I lay my hat?? Everytime you go away??) - Song lyrics and a video too.

The Star Beer Festival, Folly Hall, Huddersfield 2008 (Google)
Look under events, but be quick it will finish by the end of today!! I recommend "Hot Cross Bunny" (It's very hoppy - geddit?) from the Goose Eye Brewery at Keighley.... delicious!!

rodney alan greenblatt (Google)
Ah, artist behind Parappa the Rapper, Um Jammer Lammy, Parappa 2 and lots of other cool stuff.... but not many others that turned into fabulous cult video games!! You can find him here, and Parappa here!!

cupwith reservoir (Google)
I love Cupwith Reservoir and I love the Riverhead's Cupwith Special beer too!! Here are a couple of my Cupwith photos. Nothing quite like blowing your own trumpet is there?

how do you describe words like ning nang nong on spike milligans poem (Google)
Nonsense.... how do you describe them?

Tired.

A sleepless night. Hot and bothered, unable to open the window because of the "storms" outside - for "storms", read "wind and rain" - I'd like to know exactly when we started referring to typical British weather as "storms" - An overactive mind, bent out of shape from a marathon job application form (I spent about six hours yesterday working on a single application)..... these were (some of) the factors that have left me tired, miserable and decidedly grumpy today.

I'm not going to comment on the "storms" other than to reveal that unsurprisingly the highest winds were measured in Snowdonia - it's a bloody mountain, what do you expect?

I'm not going to comment on the prospect of the introduction of the "pledge of allegiance" to our schools.

I'm not going to even comment on the disruption of the Cheltenham racing meet, other than the fact that it might mean we get our beloved "Countdown" back on the screens this afternoon.

Not going to mention the prospect of a "green" budget announcement later today that will not increase petrol duties, but will see a levy placed on carrier bags!!

I will however mention......

I nipped out to hand deliver an application form and missed a post delivery that I now have to wait 48 hours to collect from the post office in the town centre. That really irks me!!

I have an interview for the second job that I applied for.

I am going to have a nap.

Beggared!!

I am tired.

I haven't done very much this weekend that would make me tired. Perhaps it's the inactivity of it all that has actually done me in??

Apparently we're set for some serious storm force weather over the next day or so, and on that basis alone, when I woke up this morning I had my heart set on going for a walk or a bike ride or something before we are all hiding behind locked doors hoping the chimney doesn't blow off the roof.

We managed a canal-side walk from Slawit to Marsden (one of my personal favourite walks) and even got a pint of Cupwith Special at the Riverhead. Magic. It was trying to snow when we set off and glorious sunshine when we got back to the car.

My Nintendo DS has started playing silly beggars with this doo-hickey that I have installed.... for some reason it refuses to "play ball" with me.... I even took the soldering iron to it today in pure frustration. I've ordered a new doo-hickey, and this one is supposedly better, faster, much improved, a simple slot-1 solution, or so they tell me!! Time will tell!!

My amaryllis is just about opening up now!! Here is a captured image for posterity. As you can tell from the image, both "spikes" are now too large to fit them fully into the picture, so you just have to imagine the scale - I can't fit the top of the plant pot in any more.

I think that once the amaryllis is done I will install a hyacinth cam!! Imagine!! The problem with the bulbs I have planted today for this purpose seemed decidedly rotten, so it might be more boring than bowling cam even!!

Right, I'm going to get myself some coffee and play a bit of Wii before I shuffle off to bed-ford-shire!!

Credit.

Credit where credit is due. I often write about how Egears or RAC Windscreens, or AA have completely and utterly pissed me off. Occasionally I receive such exceptional customer service somewhere that I am compelled to write about this too.....

Yesterday, as part of my bedroom tidying activities, I decided to order a part for my computer and some oil for my shredder.... By the time I settled down last evening I had received four emails and a text message to my mobile phone advising me on the status of my computer part order. Even more remarkable was the arrival of this low value piece of computer equipment before lunchtime today....... amazingly simple turnaround with great communications and absolutely no fuss at all.

The company in question, and I recommend them for all your computing needs, is CCL Online - I've used them for years and they NEVER disappoint!!

In direct contrast to this exceptionally positive story is the story of my shredder oil..... I received an email to say they had received my order.... and that's as far as it got.....

If only CCL sold shredder oil!!

So, following my day of housekeeping yesterday, I've spent the day virtual housekeeping.... i.e. consolidating all my photography files and mp3s and Nintendo DS games into a central location - the concept of owning just a single copy of each file instead of having them duplicated and scattered across an array of media is less than useful.

The end result is no less satisfying than the work I did yesterday, but I didn't get as dusty (apart from when I fitted my new computer card - as everyone knows, them puters don't half suck up a load of crap and then spew it out on you as soon as you open their cases!!) and I got to sit down for the most part, and drink lots of coffee.....

Bargain!!

Twenty one today.

I think I mentioned previously that you should NEVER piss off a blogger...... This advice holds just as true for Egears.co.uk (who you should never ever use) as it does for my own family.

....

Phone rings.... and rings....

I half open my eyes, pick up the phone, notice it's my mother calling....

I hold onto the phone for a split second hoping it will ring off and I can go back to sleep, until my conscience pricks me enough that I have to answer it anyway.

My throat is still closed, and so are my eyes.

Hello....

"Hello, did you know it was me?" asks my mother.

"For christ's sake, my mobile phone, just like anyone else's tells me who is calling... it is no longer a surprise to discover who has broken my slumber." I think to myself.

"Yes" I reply.

"Blah blah blah"

"I'm tired" I respond.

"Are you ill?" my mother asks.

"No I'm tired, I have just woken up" and I am becoming increasingly frustrated and angered at being woken up to make small talk.

"It's eleven o' clock" my mother usefully point out..... "Is it eleven at night?"

"No it's morning, but I was asleep" I reiterate.

"Have you read about our trip to Sydney on the blog?" my mother asks.

At this point, having just about managed to adjust my eyes to daylight, and wondering whether my legs are still attached to my body, I feel like a prisoner under interrogation. Of course if I had read the blog, then there would have been a subsequently pointed and no doubt sarcastic, caustic or rude comment from me, I think.

"No I've not read the blog." I answer, desperately trying to not let myself think out loud.

"Oh."

"I've just woken up." I reiterate.

"Yes I know you've just woken up, you keep telling me." retorts my increasingly angry mother.

"And you don't think that in me protesting about coming under question and pressure to make small talk within 15 seconds of waking up is a signal to leave me alone?" I think to myself.

Several more exchanges increasingly anger me where my mother talks over the top of a slight voice delay and my answers to questions so that I end up repeating myself over and over.... I am in no mood for this.

"How is the snow?" She asks.

"Gone."

"I read about it on your blog, and someone at work told Rob about it." she usefully informs me.

"Oh."

"Did it just snow there or everywhere else?"

"I haven't been EVERYWHERE else!!!!!!" I protest.

"Why don't you let XXXX look after things for a few days. you have her number, and she'd love to do it" asks my mother.

At this point I am no longer even in the conversation - XXXX looked after things before and the Rayburn burned itself out. My girlfriend at the time spent days cleaning up cat shit where a disinterested friend had been in to feed the cats but had not noticed the smell of burning or seemingly of the room next door being full of cat shit. This must by mum's definition of "love to".

Eventually, I can hear mum's voice begin to crack as she realises that no matter how hard she tries, there will be no sense in poking a bear that you've just brought out of hibernation. My day has been well and truly ruined, and I'm not even out of bed.

Phone call behind me, I get up, fuming. Arrive in the kitchen with cat puke to clean up. The weather is so bad, but on the basis that the chickens have not been out in two days, I decide to give them an option. I wish I didn't. The garden is strewn with pieces of a dilapidated compost bin. Watering cans, bits of metal, plastic, and compost are all over the place.

I tie everything back together, shovel up, sweep up, disinfect the kitchen again..... offer the chickens a chance of freedom and they huddle in a corner. I shut the door and leave them to it.

A great start to the day....

I "LOVE TO" do this!!

Search engine Sunday.

As promised, here's another installment of my search engine criteria, that brought people to my blog. I will also take this opportunity to apologise for lack of blog activity this week.... normal service will be resumed as soon as I get a minute to sit on my arse!!

cows go clang (Google)
Now, everyone knows cows don't go "clang" they do of course go "bong" in the poem by the late, great Spike Milligan.

On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!

"war what is it good for" (Google)
I'll gladly tell you. Absolutely nothing, my friend, in fact I believe this to be so absolute that I will reiterate for poignant effect. Absolutely nothing.

Fry's Five Centre bar (AOL)
Yes, indeed!! What did happen to that lovely bar of chocolate that contained five different segmented fruity fillings?? I can tell you that Fry's (the original manufacturers) eventually became Cadbury's, and the "five centres" bar ceased to be produced in 1992.

huddersfield "zombie slouch" (Google)
I originally blogged about this a while ago..... here's the flyer in case anyone else fancies it. It's on October 27th.


spiced ginger preserve (Google)
Oh, a lovely preserve indeed, and one of my favourites on a hot buttered muffin. I originally blogged about the death of a jar of said preserve. Perhaps the scariest "in-depth" review of this preserve can be found here. If you can find anything more scary written about ginger preserve then please feel free to let me know.

jenny falconer +smoking (Google)
Not the first time that a search for Jenni (note the "i" not a "y") smoking has brought people here. I have tried to find something on the web that links the two items together in order that I can point you the right way, but this must be some really "hardcore" fetish. I can't find it. I HAVE met her.... she DOESN'T like me..... and.... I can't remember if she smokes or not!!

v for vendetta (Google)
Comic or film? Film, forget it. Comic, make me an offer for the original 1980's ten issue first printing..... it could be yours if the price is right. The comics are fantastic. The film, you're welcome to borrow the DVD off me, I won't even ask for any security, as it would not pain me in any way to never see it again.

what do arctic foxes look like (Google)
Google images is your friend.

where does the arctic fox (Google)
I love this search. Imagine that the "Arctic" is a person, and that there is a verb to "fox". Where does the arctic fox? All over the damn place I would imagine!! If you wanted to know where the Arctic fox lives, then of course it's in the Arctic you moron!!

msn ten day weather harrogate (Google)
Can be found here!

Two stupid dogs.

Well, I'll say there are two idiots today.

I'm an idiot for contributing to "Blog Action Day" by writing something about the environment.... But I forgot to register on the website, so I guess my efforts were in vain. That does, of course, depend on how much influence you would credit my next idiot with.....

Idiot two for today, is awarded to those lovely people that run the "Blog Action Day" website. They're either too busy drinking nettle wine, or reclaiming jumpers from those little tufts of wool that you find on barbed wire to notice:

a) If you are going to hold an event on a specific date, then your promotional materials (specifically the banners and buttons provided) ought to at least carry the date that the event will be held....
b) For at least a day or two after the event, it might be prudent to NOT delete or move the webpages that you have encouraged all your participants to link to. The following day "Blog Action Day" decided to remove all their promotional graphics, and of course if you look back at my October 15th posting, you'll clearly see at the top of it..... well, nothing, and that's my point. Bloody idiots!!

Question: What would happen if every blog published posts on the same topic, on the same day? One issue. One day. Thousands of voices.
Answer: I, for one, won't be participating in such a poorly run "event" again. That's not to say I won't talk about the environment, but I don't need the help of someone else to do it.

Can you tell they've annoyed me a little? I've been spitting feathers. Choking on my own bile. Too upset to write a word. Not true, of course, but I AM annoyed by it.

I'm also slightly annoyed that, at some point, early this morning, I turned over in bed, briefly opened my eyes and saw the most amazing golden autumnal sunrise that you could possibly imagine. The thought of jumping out of bed and grabbing my camera and running into the street skimmed like a flat stone across the surface of my brain, before it sank to the murky depths below. I turned over and went back to sleep.

I'm looking out of the window now, at the flattest, most grey, windless, unphotogenic October morning in the history of evolution.

I guess there is a lesson in there somewhere.... I know there's a lesson about photography and that you have to catch those "golden" moments for great pics, but there's something deeper.... .... I don't know, I'm sure it will come to me as soon as the nurse has given me a bed bath and put cream all over my bed sores.

Search engine Sunday.

As promised... by me, previously, yesterday in fact, I am going to do a Sunday roundup of the search engine criteria that brought people into my blog. The idea of picking (what I would consider) the most humorous or desirable searches and writing about them in order to perpetuate their relevance is one that I adore.

First: This isn't an easy option and takes much longer than an average blog, and believe me, my blog is VERY average!!
Second: We all might learn something!!

Behold, I give to you:

rat trap b&q (Google)
If you are after a humane rat trap from B&Q then my advice would be.... Don't bother, I've got one that cost me fifteen quid that never caught a thing. You can have it for free, but you've got to collect it!!

why would anyone choose arctic fox (Google)
As opposed to what? Chicken?? Steak?? Curried goat?? No, I think I'll have some arctic fox to start, followed by fillet of swan.

what did frank skinner play on banjo (Google)
I watched it (Play it Again - a BBC series) and I couldn't tell you. At one point he played Duelling Banjos with the band, Hayseed Dixie. The final bluegrass competition that he famously mucked up, I have no idea what he played.

arctic fox halloween costume (Google)
Try this on for size!!! Scares the heck outta me!!

turnip carving (Google)
Fascinating that someone should be looking for this. Before we all went Starbucks and McDonald's and suddenly found our supermarkets full of pumpkins every October... we used to indulge ourselves in the ancient Celtic art of making lanterns out of turnips. Swedes to be exact!! Long live the turnip... death to pumpkins!! Be careful!

"solve the problem of food shortage in the world" (Yahoo)
Let them eat pumpkin soup, or the hollowings from crafted turnip lanterns. Alternatively try clicking this!

What does the arctic fox look like in summer (Google)
Similar to how it looks in winter, but with a T-shirt and sunglasses!!

karma dentist (Google)
Wow, I never knew there was such a thing as a caring dentist. A dentist who isn't motivated by money or the joy of inflicting pain.... it's a grand marketing ploy that's for sure.

arctic fox, it's a setup lyrics (Google)
OK, there's a comedian called Mike Birbiglia - He has a CD out called "Two Drink Mike" - I am presuming he can't hold his booze.... anyway, on this album there's a track called "Arctic Fox It's a Setup" and I have only been able to hear the first thirty seconds of it. I don't know where the Arctic Fox bit fits in... it's about his dreams being better than reality or something.... well, you learn something new every day.

lots of arctic fox pics (Google)
Try Google image search of course!!!