Ring ring....

I'm out in the garden cleaning the bird feeders.... the phone rings.....  not unusual you might think, but I NEVER use the land line.... and it's ringing......

I jump down out of the tree where I hang my bird feeders (honestly you'd fall for anything.... of course I took the bird feeders down BEFORE cleaning them).... and go inside and answer the phone, fully expecting... "Congratulations, you've won"....click!

"Hello" I inquire, sounding remarkably like a person who has never seen a phone before and wonders why this white bone that hangs on cave wall should suddenly make loud noise......

A REAL PERSON on the other end of the phone.... the novelty throws me slightly.....

"Could I speak to Mr. Weaver" she asks, and switching immediately to business mode "Speaking!" comes my standard reply.....

"Hello Mr. Weaver, I'm just calling from your bank" - She does go on to verify that it is indeed my bank and I'm happy to spend a couple of minutes talking to her.... fully aware, even before she, that this is a fruitless conversation for both of us.

"i wonder whether I could book an appointment for you to come in and for us to review your bank accounts so we can make sure you have the best deal?" she offers optimistically.....  "I see you have a current account, a mortgage, and savings accounts with us....".

I interrupt her mid flow and state, quite clearly "No, that's ok thanks, I'm not interested."  Which to me would signal the end of the conversation, but I'm not "target driven" like this poor lady and I certainly don't have anything to sell......

She goes on to ask me a few questions about my mortgage like "Are you on a fixed term variable rate tracking deal?".... it might as well be in Chinese... for one, she's looking at my details on a computer screen so she knows EXACTLY what I have...... for another..... I don't have a clue what kind of mortgage they handed to me on a plate back when I had money and before the banks had none.

"I don't know" I claim.

"Well we could sort this out for you and get you on a better rate of interest" she begins......

"I don't have a job" I cheerily chime in....

She continues.......

"Look!" I start to become agitated, I don't suffer fools gladly.  "Look.... how can you offer me a new mortgage when I don't have a job?" I ask of her.

"We can't" she concedes, starting to realise she is not making a sale. "How about your household insurance?  We guarantee to beat any quote you might have for that,"  She is clutching at straws now, and the birds in my garden will not feed themselves.

"I tell you what" I counter-offer "How about when my household insurance is due for renewal, I'll let you know".... which I thought was a fair "out" for her, she could hang up without totally losing face at this point and make a note on my file that I'd let them know.... a dont-call-us if you like.....

"Well it does make sense to sort these things out BEFORE they are due" she begins and my left eye begins to twitch......

"That's ok.... thank you, I'm still not interested... thanks for the offer though" and I hang up the phone.

The punchline to this story.... and one which I would not dare to admit to my mortgage holder.... is that my house and contents are currently uninsured..... and if she could beat THAT quote, then I'd love to hear it!!

Force.

Well it started a bit chilly this morning, but by ten o clock it was turning into another scorcher.

Sadly, I'd recorded a few hours of the live Big Brother that went out at one in the morning, and found that it featured three hours of sleeping housemates. A more pointless six hour broadcast I can not imagine.

I fast forward through three hours of sleeping and reach a stage of complete disgust at what a waste of time it's turning into.

I put my boots in the car and grab a bottle of water. I put my camera back together and grab my car keys. I drive out to Blackmoorfoot and embark on a six mile walk in the sweltering sun. It's not long before the sweat is quite literally dripping off me. I find that carrying a rucksack ALWAYS makes me hotter and before long all my clothes are clinging and clammy.

I combine two of my favourite walks into one. I walk round Blackmoorfoot, through Helme, and out to the shooting lodge at Deer Hill. I have so many good photographs from today that I can't imagine I'll ever get round to choosing a suitable selection.

Later this afternoon I spotted an accident on the motorway outside my house. I took a few photos from my bedroom window and managed to get the local newspaper to publish one on the website. I don't know how long this link'll work.


This season's chick. The first real feathers are appearing on this young fuzzy duck. A lovely glassy surface on Blackmoorfoot Reservoir. (I'm always guilty of (badly) photographing wildlife but I like the water surface and first coloured feathers on this little darling, so you have my apologies for yet another duck pic).

Limbo.

For some reason I feel like I'm in limbo.... I think I need to get out of my funk and go and do something..... it's the half life of a Big Brother addict but without the usual companionship of the live feed from the house. Perhaps I'll watch bowling-cam instead??

I am starting to think about camping?? Is that right?? There just seems to be no end to the internet bargains in the camping department, and I get a step closer to indulging with each discount email that manages to resist my spam filter.

Perhaps I'll just swap my quilt for a sleeping bag and kip on the floor instead, and I will still get to drink a decent cup of coffee on demand.

New music to accompany your visit.... and a new photo too.... what more could you ask for?


A skylark rests atop St George's day commemorative stone at Wholestone Hill - part of the White Rose Forest walk.

On t'up.

Seems my man flu has finally turned the corner and begun to eff off. I'm now left with a slightly charred bronchial effect that goes nicely with the curtains.

Bloody weather isn't helping things.... one minute it's freezing cold... the next it's sunny and snow melty and wet..... right now, when I should be out doing my Julie Andrews impersonation, singing "The hills are alive with the sound of badgers" across the fields of Nettleton Hill whilst adoring a beautiful full moon, we are (predictably) treated to fog and vertizontal sleet whipping up New Hey Road.

My gob's all chapped and I've borrowed Dawn's inhaler, so let's hope things get better soon.

Still waiting for my tri-wing screwdriver to arrive from Hong Kong so that I can finally kill my Nintendo DS whilst pretending to be fixing it. I DID get a package from Hong Kong today which turns out to be something else for the DS but it's a bit crap until I get the case swapped out.



One advantage of the recent snow is that a pied wagtail has found its way into my garden every day. Unfortunately this picture was taken through some really mucky windows in my kitchen and was a bit zoomed in, so naturally it's not the best quality. S'a lovely likkle bird though. Having spent a great deal of time and effort keeping the feathered friends fed and watered in this recent white spell, I can say it's been very rewarding to see all the action on and around the feeders.

Quite amazingly.

No matter how hard I try to keep up with my blog, it just seems to run away from me. I can't believe I didn't make a post since Thursday already!!

What have I been doing that's been so exciting?

Drinking beer mostly.

Took a trip into York yesterday and even managed a trip to the splendid and very friendly York Brewery. Took the tour and drank the splendid beer. Very enjoyable. You can't beat a drop of Yorkshire Terrier or a pint of Guzzler!!



Oystercatchers in Anglesey. Having never seen an oystercatcher up close before, I was pleased to grab a snap of this one, even though I had to squelch out into the mud of a low tide to get near enough to them. Lovely orange beak and I love the seaweed covered rock behind it too.

Wet and windy.

Each and every "bank holiday" weekend in England is typified by weather that generally makes it a hazard to tow a caravan into the Lake District. This, however, does not deter the great British campers and caravanners, and many thousands of people, in true "blitz" spirit, do exactly THAT.

A veritable oasis of summery weather has indeed been punctuated by a colder snap, with some pretty high winds. The flushing of spring has been brought crashing back down to earth in the shape of fresh green foliage, strewn around the highways and byways of our great nation.

And as far as the windy weather goes..... well.....

A couple of days attendance at the Barge and Barrel spring bank beer festival has also had rather windy consequences for a certain blog author too. Coupled with a couple of pints of the Riverhead's finest brews this weekend.... well, as you can imagine.... I've been declared a national emergency and am strictly a no-go zone!!

Baby birds. There's tons of them at the moment. Starlings that nested in my roof are driving myself and my neighbours a bit mad with their constant skriking for worms. Bluetits are buzzing around in the garden and giving my nuts a severe pecking. Dunnocks that seemed to have jumped the gun slightly, and indeed jumped out of the nest too early, are all thriving and starting to grow "real" feathers instead of those fluffy crap ones that don't fly too good. Today I saw the first baby robin in the tree too..... with its stubby little wings and fluffy feathers ruffled in the wind. If they can manage to stay still in this wind then it looks like a good year for the birds.

Slugs. They've started eating my red hot poker. I stuck some slug pellets down, but am praying that the birds (mentioned above) can recognise the difference between juicy worms, tasty table treats, and deadly poison!! Bloody slugs!! The birds should be eating them, but then (and I know we've had this discussion before about slug recipes) would you really want to?

Jibber jabber.

Too much Mario Kart and no beer makes an Arctic Fox go crazy.
Too much Mario Kart and no beer makes an Arctic Fox go crazy.
Too much Mario Kart and no beer makes an Arctic Fox go crazy.
Too much Mario Kart and no beer makes an Arctic Fox go crazy.
Too much Mario Kart and no beer makes an Arctic Fox go crazy.

I knew I bought my camera for a reason.... I haven't used my new camera half as much as I ought to have.... hopefully now that the weather is slightly more cheerful this is something I will rectify.

Here are a couple of (in my humble amateur photographical opinion) my better springtime shots...


Especially for my friend spice-the-cat... this lovely picture of a blackbird with its beak chockfull of worms heading off to feed its young 'uns - This is bokkeh to the level 11!!!!


Despite my abject disappointment at losing a clutch of robin eggs during a winter storm earlier in the year when my shrub blew down, the dunnocks have made up for it and nested in the ivy that hangs over from next door's garden. I took this picture of a very young dunnock chick... probably only a few days after it fledged... still too naive to actually fly away from a twinkle toed fox and a camera!! (note totally sure it's a dunnock... might be a sparrow... they're quite similar)

Gutted.

Woke up this morning to bright, hot, white sunshine, streaming through the windows.

Fool's gold of course. The sun, albeit strong, was magnified tenfold by the couple of inches of snow that fell overnight.

I peered out into the garden and noticed a shrub that grows along my garden path, that climbs up the garden wall, and slightly over the top.... for the first time it's ever happened, had actually blown over into my garden. It's a variegated sort of thing, none too pretty, but it grows nicely and fills a big gap in the border.

Eventually I got out of bed (having exhausted my supply of Nintendo patience) and got dressed to go and deal with this weak willed shrub.... To my dismay, nestled amongst the broken debris of the shrub is a robin's nest complete with three baby blue speckled eggs in it.

These are DEFINITELY not the sort of eggs that I wished to receive for Easter!!

I've propped the shrub back up, and I've dug a garden fork in next to it and tied it for extra strength, but I am afraid that the robin may have already abandoned its station now.

It's a crying shame.

Scared.

As I sat on the sofa, playing yet another game of Star Wars on my Nintendo Wii at one AM.....

Holy smoke, the whole house began to shake.

It was EXTREMELY windy outside, and at points of the evening several vehicles had been blown over on local roads.

As I sat on the sofa that merrily jumped up and down, I immediately thought a chimney had blown off the roof, or that one of my trees had blown over.

I jumped up and looked outside, but couldn't see anything.

EARTHQUAKE!!

Turns out, I'd witnessed my first ever earth tremor.... and to be fair, it wasn't the kind of experience that you need to witness with any more frequency or severity than that!!

In other news.......

There was a cow of Huddersfield,
Who said that her milk would not yield,
Unless she had her udders feeled!!


Amaryllis cam continues to amaze. The main stem is well over the thirty centimetre mark now, and I am going to have to work out some other way to fit the whole plant into the webcam image.
Biofuel - I don't often make political or news related wranglings on my blog..... there are millions of blogs out there that already do that, and I don't like to pretend that I can do anything as insightful or witty or astute as the myriad of those blogs that do what they do.

Imagine our collective gasps then, when faced with a news item (see earthquake above) AND a political hot potato (see biofuels, following).

Biofuel..... We are apparently supposed to be thankful to the likes of Richard Branson and Co. for trialing these new "eco friendly" fuel products.... well let me tell you..... well why bother...... you all know I loves the birds in me garden, don't ya? Well go and fill this bloody form in and tell Ruth Kelly how you REALLY feel!!

While we are on the subject..... feed some starving buggers too!!

Just take five.

I am feeling relaxed today. Despite waking up with a banging headache and no internet connection.... some things are going my way.

First: Spice, yes your suggestion of "Chicken Rhythm" was duly noted and fulfilled. You know what? I like it!! Let's not think this means I am now playing requests though!! You've all got your own bloody blogs to fill with nonsense!! Hope everyone enjoys the new tune and spares a thought for me while I am "mucking out" this week!!

Second: Part of the reason behind today's headache was a few pints at the Barge and Barrel in Elland last evening. I think the "Bargee" was not quite up to scratch and may account for the thick head. What I did taste there, however, was something that launched me into beery heaven. Black Bee - A honey porter. I have recently discovered that (as a life long devotee of Chestnut Mild) I like mild and I like Guinness.... imagine my surprise to find a drink that falls inbetween the two.... and then to find a very nice honey brewed version of said drink..... paradise!!

Third: I am taking Dawn out tonight for a meal. She has been working really hard lately, and we don't always get the time together that she deserves... especially since I am confined to the chicken coop m0st nights..... It's not so much that I can't go out, as much as how bad I would feel if anything happened when I WAS out. We are going for noodles to Leeds... to Fuji Hiro.... one of our all time favourites.

Fourth: The bowling club at the back of my house has finally erected a smoking shelter!!!! It has been a constant source of disgruntlement to me, but amusing to webcam viewers, that the smokers congregate outside the door of the club, just outside my bedroom window. It gets quite noisy with the window open at night. Well, if you've been glued to "bowling cam" today, you'd have seen them putting up a smoking shelter at the other side of the club. Hooray!! It also means that anyone wishing to go to the club, will now (hopefully) no longer have to walk through a group of smokers blowing their wares in your face! I sound like a sanctimonious ex-smoker already!!

Fifth: It's a beeee-yooo-teeeee-ful day!! I've been "twitching" in the garden at Pole Moor. Not as a side effect of copious amounts of real-ale, and subsequent lack of it..... but in the fashion of bird-watching. There's some lovely birds out there. A similar bunch to the ones I get at home, but with a few differences...... Out there: Regular visits by pairs of blackbirds. The kestrel is never far away and is a delightful sight hovering over the fields. Thrushes.... I've seen quite a few of them, and it's not uncommon to see two or three chasing each other round the vegetable patches - Not sure if they are song or mistle. Wren, the little wren, my favourite bird.

Five and a halfth: I know this was supposed to be a Saturday Sample blog, but I forgot!! I thought it was Friday!! I've been Pole Moored!!

Adopt a Geordie accent now.

Day two in the Big Mother's house. Fox is trying to photograph birds in the garden. Unfortunately, it's not his garden, and the birds are none too pleased at being pursued by a peeping tom, and in due course call the police. It's the price you pay for being a novice photographer.... A well known member of the paparazzi may well have requested a payment in the region of three-hundred-thousand simoleans for the effort!!

I am thinking of buying a "freeview" box for my mum's house. The choice of five channels is such an alarming, disarming contrast with my hundred and odd usual choices, that I don't think I will make it through the week without a little more choice. Hell, I don't even think I will make it through the night knowing that I am missing next week's episode of "Heroes" on BBC3.

The folks finally made it to Australia... their final destination. Mum called at around midday today, which of course, is eleven at night, tonight, in their time in Sydney. How strange is that? They had quite a rough journey, but then a whole day on an aeroplane is not many peoples' idea of fun, is it?

I seem to have mislaid (pardon the pun) a chicken already. I am reliably informed there should be nineteen, but I have only managed to find eighteen of them. At this rate, I'll be out of a job within a week.

Grey.... That's what we have today.... a cloak of greyness. Grey skies, grey clouds, grey light. Flat and very uninviting. I am disappointed that the weather has not been conducive to getting out and about with my new camera..... not that there is any software to do anything with the sodding photos when I've taken them. I am thinking of bringing my old laptop up here, just so I can touch some familiar software......

Note: You can not touch software!! The old rule of computing thumb is.... If you can kick it, it's hardware. If you can't kick it, it's software, unless of course it's firmware, which is software you can kick!! Got that?? Good!

And now.... I have been trying to find a positive out of house-sitting here at Pole Moor, and you know what?? I think I may have found it. As you may know, it's halloween tonight. I won't be celebrating. The nearest neighbour here is a good few hundred metres away, and the likelihood of half-hearted adolescents in hoodies knocking on my door for sweets, in breach of their ASBOs, is negligible. That's my positive.

Oh, bugger, you've probably just realised that while I am sitting here at my mum's house in peace and quiet, there is a ninety percent chance that the ingredients for Yorkshire pudding are being plastered across the front of my own house because I wasn't there to fire my air rifle at the delinquents of Outlane!! Negative!!

Goldfinch.

Families of my favourite finches flapping furiously, feeding ferociously. Filling up for flying far away. Black thistle seed flying. Clouds of feathered activity fill the garden and distract my eye from the movies I am watching. I maintain concentration until the third movie of the day and sleep overcomes me.

Damn that roadsweeper. He was back again today. I appreciate the service but not their hissing, steam belching dragon of a machine inching up the road beneath my bedroom window at seven twenty two in the A of the M.

A few beers last night only served to remind me just how angry I have become. Angry at my own passivity. Angry at the call centre that sold me a years worth of cover without my involvement, and who won't refund me for something I didn't order, because we are "outside of the refund window". I roll over and let them tickle me, maintaining that next year I will ensure that the credit card that feeds them will be a historical footnote.

Paperwork done. Bills paid. Final reminders shredded. Bank account slowly bleeding to death. Steadily approaching, free falling, towards the state of exsanguination. Please let me stay out of work a bit longer.

So many films, so little time.

Happy birthday to Fred. Zam zams tonight for a slap up curry.... yippee!! BYOB!!

Happy "New Moon" to everyone else.

Little white lie.

In line, and in complete coincidence to Jen's advocacy of Freecycle, I have volunteered to collect a dining table and chairs for my friend, the Turtle. All hail Freecycle!! I just hope I can fit the stuff in my car without making more than two trips. (Good karma).

The Huddersfield beer festival looms large on the horizon. Officially beginning tomorrow, but will be frequented on Friday afternoon by Fred and myself, and of course anyone else who should wish to meet me there for some fine local ale!! Roll on Oktoberfest - In complete keeping with the current German Blogger bug that is still with us. (I am taking Fred for a trip out - gives both of the folks some space - Good karma).

Apparently (so my mum tells me) the birds are currently stocking up on food for their winter migrations. With that in mind, I ventured out into the garden this morning and replenished the feeders. Barefoot across a dew sodden lawn to pour sunflower hearts onto their feeding station. By the time I had come back into the kitchen, and was washing my hands, there were already a pair of starlings, a robin and a chaffinch, tucking into their tasty treats. (Great karma).

Fox 4 - 0 Mice!! For the less squeamish viewers, click here. for those of a sensitive nature, click here!! (Bad karma).

And, on to my white lie.

My last visit to the dentist a couple of weeks ago, resulted in a temporary filling, an xray, and the conclusion that I have a "plastinated" tooth (I thought that's what Doctor Von Hagens did to all them weird bodies). So, the best course of action is to extract the offending tooth and move on with my life.

I made the appointment to have the tooth extracted... It should have been done tomorrow, at two o' clock, which of course means it would all be over by two-thirty (the irony of dental appointments coinciding with two-thirty (tooth hurty.... geddit?) ALWAYS amuses me, and occurs more commonly than I would care to mention, although I am fairly sure I just did).

Since the temporary filling went in, I've had no bother with the tooth. It seems silly to let this young dentist of mine (who will insist on talking to me in dentist's language, which I subsequently have to nod and look up in the dictionary later) go through the process of struggling to pull this tooth, in the same way she struggled to get the drill into it in the first place. It's in an awkward place apparently. I thought teeth were supposed to be in the mouth, but then that's why I am not a dentist.

I called the dentist this morning, and in my best "poorly" voice:

"I'm sorry, but I am full of bronchitis, *cough* do you think it's too late to cancel my appointment?"
"Of course not, if you're ill." she replied, in a completely unenthusiastic, unconvinced manner. I was losing her.
" *cough* *splutter* OK well, if that's ok, I'll cancel and rebook when I feel better, thanks" and I quickly hung up before she could say no.

I managed to avoid a cancellation fee of around thirty quid. Makes me feel better already. (Very bad karma).

Dawn seems to think, that for my sins, I have now wished bronchitis upon myself. (That's some very heavy bad JuJu right there, coming down on my sorry ass.... Thanks Dawn!!)

My name is *cough* Earl!!

Implosion.

I am writing this, yesterday. Today I am going to the dentist (which of course is tomorrow), and then I think I am going out in the afternoon, so I probably won't get the required time to devote to the following blog entry.

In advance of today, I give you tomorrow's blog entry, yesterday.

It's all about the searches (AGAIN) - Sorry.

* crown green bowling (Google)
* bowling cam (Google)

Of course, you've come to the right place. My bedroom overlooks the crown green bowling green of Outlane Bowling Club. You can see the zen-like action here! Also, you may wish to view the amazing highlights section, here. I am THRILLED that someone found me by searching for "bowling cam". I hope they were not disappointed.

* pictures of an artic fox (drawed and phtographs) (Google)
* were does a arctic fox live (Google)
* arctic foxs (Google)
* artic fox (Google)
* arctic compared to dessert foxes (Google)

I don't like to pick fault with people's spelling and grammar, and you knew there was a huge BUT to follow that sentence didn't you? But, the above examples both amuse and frustrate me equally.
a) "drawed and phtographs" I need not comment. They even spelled it "artic" to add insult to my injury. Very salty wounds.
b) It's "where" not "were" and "an" not "a", but thanks for spelling "arctic" correctly. An arctic fox (not "a arctic fox") lives in the Arctic. The clue is in the question.
c) Plural of fox is foxes. Pertaining to a fox is fox's. You're in no-mans-land with "foxs"!! I am becoming more and more pedantic as I get older!! I also appreciate that it makes no difference to a search engine, but what kind of example is that to set?
d) It's arCtic not artic!! "Artic fox" is still the most common search term that brings people flailing through my portal.
e) Never eat dessert foxes, they are extremely rare!

* noodle doodle mouses (Google)
* noodle doodle came to town (Google)
* Download If I had words to make a day for you (Google)
* an ant riding round on a golf ball songs lyrics (sing book 2005)(ant) (Google)

Lyrics that people look for. I am VERY pleased that my seemingly random rendition of the noodle doodle song has yielded visitors. The lyrics to "If I had words to make a day for you" are actually from a song called "If I had words" - Adapted from "Symphony No. 3" by Camille Saint-Saens (as featured in the film Babe) see: Lyrics or video. As for an "ant riding round on a golf ball", I am guessing you mean this?

* How Heaney portrays nature in his poem Blackberry picking (Google)
* "oh mother come and meet me now" (Google)

I am pleased that people come to my blog in search of information about poetry. My recent excursion to Black Moss Reservoir was of course poetry inspired. I was thinking about Seamus Heaney whilst picking blackberries at the weekend. The other poem was one I searched for forever, and was eventually rewarded.... you can read about it here - It's called "Skyman", and someone wrote about it in the comments for the blog entry.

* "shit on glass" (Google)

I sincerely hope you were looking for the Andy Goldsworthy "Cow shit on glass" exhibit and not some sort of dirty process!! Suffice to say, I give you the former, here: The latter, I cannot help you with.

* Wainwrights Castle Cragg (Google)
* google earth catbells (Google)

I shall be walking both of these hills, this coming weekend, in anticipation of my forthcoming birthday. I did give links to the Google Earth downloads for these files before, but here they are again.

* what do baby goldfinches look like? (Google)

Unfortunately, although I have them in my garden, the pictures I tried to take are not very good. If I can find one that seems remotely bearable, I'll put it here to look at. Well, here you go, it's the best I can provide of my own shots.


* baby arctic foxes for sale (Google)
* pet arctic fox for sale (Google)

Arctic Foxes, like any wild animal, DO NOT make good pets. Do not attempt to own one!! Stop looking here to see if you can own me too!!

* slutsuzie blackpool (Google)
* slut suzie blackpool (Google)

I think Suzie disappeared some time ago now. I am amazed that I still, regularly, get a good number of people who come here looking for her because I once wrote about her. She was a prostitute in Blackpool, and I believe she specialised in attending to disabled clients and the older gentleman. I could be wrong, it was a long time ago.

* "No time off for good behaviour" "movie quote" (Google)

This is interesting. I don't know why someone would come to my page looking for movie quotes, but I always like to give something back. Here's my thing. That's your quote searched for right there!! Of course, if the answer isn't actually in that list, then perhaps it aint that much of a big thing, but the IMDB quote search engine isn't bad. A freebie from me to you.

I live to give!!

PS: Post update post update: Don't forget me hearties!!

Surprise!!

I am truly surprised by the reaction to my previous post. It would seem that my passion for birdfeeding is not such an isolated case. Messages of support have been flooding in.... well a couple of people mentioned that they also indulge, and that's nice.

This year is the first year that I have had baby birds living in and around my garden, and it fills me with delight.

There's a family with three baby goldfinches. The juveniles looking similar to their parents, but lacking the vibrant red patch on their heads. They have a resplendent yellow "Z" down their wings though.

A family with three baby robins, and they are just starting to get their red breasts and to lose their spotty juvenile down. They've been such good company this summer. Apparently they are rarely seen in July and August, but I have had a garden full of them.

Bluetits nested in the holes in the cement between my house and next door. You wouldn't even know there was a hole there to be honest, and it took me a while to actually find where they were flying their beakfulls of worms into. Lots of chicks and still a good number in the garden.

Other feathered friends without families it would seem are:

Collared dove; Starling; Dunnock; Wren; Sparrow; Chaffinch; Greenfinch; Blackbird; Thrush;

In other news.....

Big Brother.... we're winding down, and tomorrow is the final. I'd be lying if I said I was excited, but I am looking forward to it. I think I have managed to keep my blog fairly Big-Brother-free during the mammoth thirteen week stint.

Beer: I've got a hankering for some real ale this weekend. I am going to give both The Star at Lockwood, and The Grove at Springwood a shot. From what I've read, they are two of Huddersfield's finest "ale" pubs, and I am getting a bit old for drinking wihtout being able to speak to my companions.

Antichrist: I have made the fatal error of reinstalling the antichrist of video gaming onto my computer. I had it before, but after it ruined my lust for gaming and lowered my self esteem to nothingness, it had to die. The Sims 2 rides again!! How many weeks will I spend maintaining my virtual real estate, while my real house and life fall into complete disrepair around my ears??

Yorkshire Pudding: You don't scare me, you big puddin'!

Random kindness: Still working on this one. Pol, it was also on R2 the other day when the lovely Davina was standing in for someone. Those blagards have robbed me blind and cast me assunder.

Blog updates: I know it doesn't look like I have been here much lately, and the posts have been thin on the ground, but believe me, I've been working my fingers to the bone for you. Here's a brief list of things that have changed:

Random Shopping has started again.

The navigation stuff on the right hand side of my page was looking really shabby, and there were so many sections with different little snippets in them, and I know nobody read any of them, so I have turned each section into a blog entry.... Feel free to click some fo the things under the "Blogbits" section on the right hand side to see what I mean.

Flickr: Not only did I upload a little section of photos for Connor (and tag them all, and geotag them all, and title, and description them), but I also uploaded a few new ones of my own. Feel free to head across to Flickr and look at mine and/or Connor's pics.

Bloglines: My cousin Sophia mentioned (sometime earlier this year) that there was a product out there called "bloglines" which manages all the blogs that you read. My list of blogs to read was becoming so long, that I have (more by necessity than curiosity) invested some effort into it, and I am loving it. If you have a long blog list to trawl through, then I suggest you set it up for yourself. Thanks Soph.... Also: I found the Guitar Hero disc that I couldn't find when you were here - didn't take me long huh?

Bowling cam: More new pictures on my dedicated bowling cam highlights page.

Pogo; Sims2; Battlefield 1942; Dungeon Keeper2 - Too much time to mention on the aforementioned.

Some days....

Some days it's difficult to find the words to blog with. Other days there isn't enough time to write it all down. Sometimes enjoyable, other times a chore. Relentlessly I plug away, bashing the keys and allowing thoughts to become tangible.

Today is an easy day.

I'm recording some programmes from my Sky+ machine onto some DVD discs - namely a bunch of Doctor Who series two episodes. It's about six thirty in the evening. Inbetween babysitting the recording sessions, I go to make coffee.

Outside it's grey. Drizzly rain, pale grey clouds, wet stone slabs. The kettle is boiling, and in the interim period (where I am sure I would have smoked a cigarette in a previous incarnation) I pick up a bamboo skewer and rake it across the metal of a kitchen draining device. An improvised percussive instrument.

Outside the window, in the shrubs and ferns of my garden, I fix my eyes, searching for the tell tale shudders that indicate the presence of a feathered friend. I watch a sparrow fly under a shrub and turn and fly straight back out again. Something or someone disagreed with the little chap. I drop the bamboo skewer and crane my neck and strain my eyes for a sign of what else could be in there.

The smallest of garden birds comes into view. About the size of a very small mouse, and the same colour, it's the wren. My favourite garden visitor (besides the hedgehogs of course). I watch the little wren as it perches on a plant pot and takes a sip of rainwater. It drops down onto the slimy Yorkshire stone flags in front of my kitchen window. Out of sight.

I move across to the end of the windows, and see the bird on the floor. The wren is taking a bath in a small pool of water that's collected in the worn corner of a stone paving slab. The water no deeper than a couple of millimetres is ample for this tiny creature.

Awesome. Priceless.

The bird finishes its bath and hops up onto a ladder. Feathers puffed out, it's now about the size of a golfball. I can see the little spots on the feathers and a droplet of water on the end of her beak. She shudders the spray of water off and flies away.

The things.....

The things you do for a quiet life.

Ok, so trying to keep something a secret by writing about it in my blog, was not the best brainwave I have had this week.

Realising that to placate Kirsty, I would have to go on another bike ride last evening, was also not the smartest thing I have come up with this week.

The saddle soreness that is plaguing me today is not something I would lightly wish on an enemy.

I feel like I have been jolly well rogered.

Standing...... in the kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil.

I glance around.

There's shopping on the table. Bags of sweet things, salty thing, greasy things and anything that's considered bad. Of course, this is my cigarette substitute and I don't feel too bad about it now I am back on my bike.

I take a cup from the cupboard. The cupboard door feels strange. The hinges are probably on their last legs, and I am reminded how owning a house seems to be a never ending string of minor annoyances like this.

Standing by the kettle waiting for it to boil.

Outside the window, I notice a baby bluetit and a baby robin eating the bird food that I have supplied for them. Fledgelings. I am pleased with myself for supporting the breeding and indeed survival rate of these feathered friends.

Subconsciously I've managed to eat half a bag of Jelly Babies while the kettle boiled. I'm annoyed that these tasty treats contain boiled cow bones.

My lungs will be good but I would make a bad diabetic.

Coffee in hand, back to the computer.

It's a rap trap.....

Well, I realise that opinion on rats is very divided. I like him though. I still can't imagine a method of catching or trapping the little fella, that will not endanger any of the feathered chums that visit my locale.

Perhaps it's time for a little rodentary research?

Sunday evening eh? Where'd the weekend go?

Well, if you're sitting comfortably, and enjoying the "Goldie Lookin' Chain" that should be caressing your earlobes by now (if you have the relevant plugins and sound enabled, and choose to listen to it of course - that's a lot of variables, and I imagine most choose not!!), then I'll begin....

It was a dark and stormy night.... Well, OK, it was a warm sunny Saturday afternoon, probably about nineteen degrees centigrade, but that makes for a crappy beginning....

It was a warm, spring, Saturday afternoon, and the lambs were gambling in the fields.... most of them were hooked up to some online poker tournament, but the rest were just playing "stone paper scissors" for cash, which is hard if you only have hooves for hands!!

Me and Dawn/Dawn and I/myself and Dawn/Dawn and myself - all the bases covered - jumped in the car and began heading north....

I lie..... We actually began heading west, along the infamous M62.... M60.... M61 and then north..... This is actually turning into a pretty crappy story already....

OK, I will cut out the flowery prose of the middle man, and render this seemingly long story short, for your benefit you understand!!

We went to visit my Auntie and Uncle in Dumfriesshire.... the rolling lowlands of Scotland. It only takes two and a half to three hours to get there, and it's a great place to be, and my lovely relatives are always most welcoming.

Exactly one year ago to the day since we last visited the same area on our first "away" trip together.

The weather was grand, the scenery breathtaking, and the wildlife out there, if you take time to suck it all in is majestic.

Amongst the creatures on display - A pheasant strutting around the garden lawn. Red kites hunting the thermals, and soaring circularly skyward, out of sight. Wild partridge running along the roadside, dicing with death.

We just stayed for a day really.... not really long enough to appreciate the excellent company of my relatives, or to explore the sights and sounds, and spring bursting across the land.

What it HAS been though, is a most welcomed sojourn in Scotland. I love spending time with my folks, and I love spending time with Dawn. Quality time - that's what they call it!!

Back down to earth.....

Now, about that rat..... The fox wanders off in search of humane solutions.....

Green grow the rushes.

Well, not much to report.

I have spent the last two days working in the garden.

Day 1 - Spent most of the day picking up sticks, and general detritus. Pulled up some dead conifers (I hate the living versions of these conifers, so there was much joy to be had in dispatching of dead ones). Filled a few bags of garden waste and took them to my mum's house, and engaged in the manly art of bonfiring.

Day 2 - Just light gardening duties, until I picked up the secateurs!! Within ten minutes of hacking with handheld artillery, I was calling for the big guns. Mum arrived with "loppers" and I was soon dervishly whirling an Edward Scissorhandsesque green typhoon of vegetation. I even got the saw out!! six bags of carnage later, my garden's now completely empty.

And so, with my newly created personal dustbowl, I am left with tattered tools of the trade - my hands! Scratches and scars adorn each digit, and my fingernails... well, let's not go there!!

On a positive note, it's been a delight to spend some time in my garden with my feathered friends. Normally, I watch the birds from behind two layers of glass, and they take flight at the mere sound of a turning doorhandle.

Over the past two days, they have come quite accustomed to my vomings and goings, and are now quite happy to sit within spitting distance of me while I work, or more commonly, smoke a well earned cigarette.

I recently put up a nestbox for the bluetits, and already there have been inquisitive singles, and couples enquiring about availability. Perhaps soon, I might be able to get some nice pics of these little critters too.

I'm disappointed that my stunning collection of minimalist photography, yesterday, yielded only one comment. Thanks Spice, I knew I could count on your opinion.

PS - I hope y'all like the Banjamin Zephaniah music I have provided!!

Sunday musings.

It's Sunday the 4th February. It must be like 14 degrees or higher in the garden. The sun is shining, and the sky is a watery wintery blue, with white winter sun.

The trees and bulbs are all sprouting their new shoots, and it's a confusing scene. This is February, and it feels like summer. The birds are already pairing up and nesting, and there are insects flying about outside. This is all about one or two months premature, but you will not hear me complain.

I don't need to hark on about holes in the ozone layer, or melting ice caps, or global warming. The evidence for all these things is as plain as the nose on my face. The intersting aspect of this, is merely that, this week, it is finally official - Humans are to blame!!

Well, stone the crows, I could have told you that for a lot less than the IPCC charged to write their document. Personally I am chagrined with the whole debate, and the issue of whether it is a scientific problem or a political one.

Perhaps we should just accept it, drive hungrier cars, and just wear less clothing? Maybe the "oil" nations of the future will be the ones who can manufacture the highest sun protection factor oils? Maybe somewhere under the oceans there are vast quantities of factor eighty "Piz Buin" just waiting to be tapped?

All that being said, I must admit to having bought strawberries, yesterday, whose country of origin was Morocco. Think about it!!

It's a quiet day today. Dawn's gone off to the NEC in Birmingham for some sort of "buying" trip with her work. My mum wanted to go to a garden centre, but decided not to. I am enjoying the peace and quiet, but missing being with Dawn.

For some strange reason today, I have Newfoundland on my mind. I've been told it's a good place, and one that warrants further investigation. Perhaps I will look some stuff up when I have finished this blog? More likely I will go and play Age of Empires. I bet you didn't see that one coming?

I've been cooking up a storm lately. Last night I made: Spinach, rocket, and watercress soup.... Low fat fish and chips, and a kiwi fruit granita for desert.... very nice.

I think this week, I might start to be more productive around the house and try to tidy up the junk piles. Let's call it a premature spring clean!!