checks

The Arctic Fox looks nervously over his shoulder to see if anyone is watching.

At the same moment, he tries to remove the gun from its holster and promptly shoots himself in the left foot whilst simultaneously putting his right foot in his own mouth.

You didn't know i was a contortionist did you?

Well those were the thoughts that swum lazily through my tired little mind early this morning when the landlord/lady confessed to having found my blog.........

"Arctic Fox" she laughed "nice photograph" and my feeble brain swung from thoughts of balance sheets and profit and loss calculations to whatever I might have divulged within these pages that may be incriminating / insulting / unprofessional / stupid.

It's the age-old blogging quandary - should I blog anonymously? should I be more careful with what I say?  I can't decide what's for the best.  I always hated it when my mum used to quote back things to me that she'd read on my blog....

Always when someone discovers my blog that i spend time with in a "real-world" scenario it makes me question whether i should be doing this at all.

I guess the difficult part about blogging is that you quickly realise that not everyone who reads blogs is familiar with the spirit in which some of the items are written.....

Some blog entries are written in the heat of the moment or in a state of emotion that might easily be taken out of context when read by the uninitiated.  A blog entry that might have been written a year ago in a tongue-in-cheek style may well not stand up to the scrutiny of the eyes of a relative who discovers my blog today.

I  hate looking over my shoulder and I hate not having the freedom to blog as i feel......  perhaps anonymous is the future?

The spirit of blogging MUST prevail!

Hiatus

Insert Big Brother sized pregnant blogging pause!

Normal service will be resumed as soon as I can tear myself away from the tellybox!

52 Minutes.

It has some very poignant meanings.

Firstly, 52 minutes is a short film about the growing epidemic of knife crime in London. When last I was in London, there were actually mobile metal detecting arches set up on pavements for people to walk through.

Secondly, it's the name of a Canadian rock band. Part of the hardcore/emo scene, whatever that means!!?!? Of course we all know that it means "emotional hardcore" on account of its' "oh so sensitive" lyricism. Those crafty punk wordsmiths.

Thirdly, it was the amount of time it took Barack Obama to deliver two speeches (exactly 26 minutes each) in Europe, which spelled out his desire to rid the world of nuclear weapons and his intention to launch a drive on nuclear disarmament - possibly bigger than any ever attempted - well, it would have to be Mister Obama - We've still got them, so that tells you the level of success of previous "drives" - besides:

Homer: It's pronounced 'nucular'. Nucular.

Fourthly, and most importantly, it was the amount of footage that I recorded last night, of the Big Brother "live" schedule..... during which time, the housemates were getting ready for bed. 52 minutes into my three hour recording schedule, and of course the lights were off and everyone was snoring. They are, without a doubt, the most sleepy bunch of housemates EVER!!!

Snow in summer. A whole heap of Eriophorum near Deer Hill, under a fluffy clouded sky. I could not choose which of the photos to post here, but chose this one just for the sky. That's cotton grass to you and me, dumbo!! You would not believe the difference in weather between yesterday and today.... my birdhouse has blown out of the tree this morning.... now where will I live!!

Limbo.

For some reason I feel like I'm in limbo.... I think I need to get out of my funk and go and do something..... it's the half life of a Big Brother addict but without the usual companionship of the live feed from the house. Perhaps I'll watch bowling-cam instead??

I am starting to think about camping?? Is that right?? There just seems to be no end to the internet bargains in the camping department, and I get a step closer to indulging with each discount email that manages to resist my spam filter.

Perhaps I'll just swap my quilt for a sleeping bag and kip on the floor instead, and I will still get to drink a decent cup of coffee on demand.

New music to accompany your visit.... and a new photo too.... what more could you ask for?


A skylark rests atop St George's day commemorative stone at Wholestone Hill - part of the White Rose Forest walk.

Careful.

Spent the most part of the day trying to care about Big Brother. It's very difficult to get involved in it without the live feed. Come on Channel 4, bring it back.

Tried to watch Fistful of Dollars... fell asleep.

Ended up caring about my Pokemon far more than I ought to.

Let me just say.....

Be careful what you wish for!!

Wet firework.

Well, razzmatazz it ain't.

The latest series of Big Brother is a complete damp squib. We're just a few days in and.... I've already lost the will to view.

The episode tonight was embarrassingly bad.

I've even lost the will to write down or explore all the failings of the current show.

You've been saved from a real diatribe then!!

I've resorted to downloading a whole heap of Clint Eastwood films to keep me company through the dark hours where I'd normally be watching the Big Brother live feed and making my own mind up about what's really going on in the house.

I suppose I should be paying more attention to the local elections and the European elections......

.... or maybe not!?

A game.

It's been a game of two halves.... well to be fair, it's actually been a week of two halves, not really that much of a game.

First half, baking hot, dry, sunburned, and dogsitting.

Second half, in true British style, grey, raining, foggy, cold, and Big Brother.

A strange phenomena that I thoroughly enjoyed today was the first drops of rain falling onto the hot road, causing steam to rise and swirl about at shin height. Like dry ice at a crazy rock gig, swirling and eddying before the road cooled enough for it to stop.

A strange phenomena that I thoroughly didn't enjoy is that:

Big Brother has no live feed this year. This, presumably, is to encourage us to watch the actual Big Brother show and its spin-off counterparts that have, of course, been falling flat on their arses in recent years. The live feeds have been less manipulated, and we've enjoyed being able to make our minds up about the events as they occur rather than the way the editors wish to portray them.

I need a bath and a shave!!! Iced ink!!

Nearly there....

It's nearly the end of this current series of Big Brother.... it's been a long one, and I'm not overly sad that we are nearing the final week. I think I've done quite well to avoid discussing it here in my blog..... my original blog was very heavily influenced at this time of year by the reality show's goings on and off.

Well, today's not been much of a day.... crumby weather and catching up with paperwork and generally doing a few of those put-off jobs that have reached the end of their shelf lives.


Continuing with another Yorkshire Sculpture Park image (despite belligerent protestations from those who should know better!!) - this is a Sophie Ryder sculpture - her stuff is "interesting" and this is probably one of the saner examples on display.

Damn and blast.

Y'all should know by now that I watch far more Big Brother and subsidiary spin-off shows than is healthy for a person of my age and disposition.

You all may or may not know that, traditionally, January has seen the start of Celebrity Big Brother.

Some of you may even remember the furore that surrounded last year's Celebrity Big Brother and its racist undercurrent, fuelled by Jade Goody, Jo O'Meara, and the disgustingly vacuous Danielle Lloyd, against equally annoying, but undeservedly picked on, Shilpa shetty.

Some of you might even be amazed that all this happened just a year ago!!

Well, after it was (probably wisely) decided that the format of Celebrity Big Brother had run its course, it was duly canned, and resurrected in the format of: Big Brother Celebrity Hijack.

The new series started yesterday, on a non-terrestrial channel, so you need some form of digital equipment to view it, and this in itself is a sign that the show's popularity is waning.

I decided to dip my toes and see what the new format offers....

It was a brief dip, and I don't think it will be repeated.

A bunch of "talented" youth have been put in a house together... it's one step up from the "teen" Big Brother which was so dull, it was never even given much more than a cursory airing, and only because it was the first (English) Big Brother that actually led to housemates having sex.

I don't know about you, but when it comes to putting dancers and circus performers into Big Brother, and not one of them is over twenty-one years of age, then I reckon I for one am decidedly outside the target demographic.

I hope they enjoy teaching each other their dance moves and stretching exercises!!

Surprise!!

I am truly surprised by the reaction to my previous post. It would seem that my passion for birdfeeding is not such an isolated case. Messages of support have been flooding in.... well a couple of people mentioned that they also indulge, and that's nice.

This year is the first year that I have had baby birds living in and around my garden, and it fills me with delight.

There's a family with three baby goldfinches. The juveniles looking similar to their parents, but lacking the vibrant red patch on their heads. They have a resplendent yellow "Z" down their wings though.

A family with three baby robins, and they are just starting to get their red breasts and to lose their spotty juvenile down. They've been such good company this summer. Apparently they are rarely seen in July and August, but I have had a garden full of them.

Bluetits nested in the holes in the cement between my house and next door. You wouldn't even know there was a hole there to be honest, and it took me a while to actually find where they were flying their beakfulls of worms into. Lots of chicks and still a good number in the garden.

Other feathered friends without families it would seem are:

Collared dove; Starling; Dunnock; Wren; Sparrow; Chaffinch; Greenfinch; Blackbird; Thrush;

In other news.....

Big Brother.... we're winding down, and tomorrow is the final. I'd be lying if I said I was excited, but I am looking forward to it. I think I have managed to keep my blog fairly Big-Brother-free during the mammoth thirteen week stint.

Beer: I've got a hankering for some real ale this weekend. I am going to give both The Star at Lockwood, and The Grove at Springwood a shot. From what I've read, they are two of Huddersfield's finest "ale" pubs, and I am getting a bit old for drinking wihtout being able to speak to my companions.

Antichrist: I have made the fatal error of reinstalling the antichrist of video gaming onto my computer. I had it before, but after it ruined my lust for gaming and lowered my self esteem to nothingness, it had to die. The Sims 2 rides again!! How many weeks will I spend maintaining my virtual real estate, while my real house and life fall into complete disrepair around my ears??

Yorkshire Pudding: You don't scare me, you big puddin'!

Random kindness: Still working on this one. Pol, it was also on R2 the other day when the lovely Davina was standing in for someone. Those blagards have robbed me blind and cast me assunder.

Blog updates: I know it doesn't look like I have been here much lately, and the posts have been thin on the ground, but believe me, I've been working my fingers to the bone for you. Here's a brief list of things that have changed:

Random Shopping has started again.

The navigation stuff on the right hand side of my page was looking really shabby, and there were so many sections with different little snippets in them, and I know nobody read any of them, so I have turned each section into a blog entry.... Feel free to click some fo the things under the "Blogbits" section on the right hand side to see what I mean.

Flickr: Not only did I upload a little section of photos for Connor (and tag them all, and geotag them all, and title, and description them), but I also uploaded a few new ones of my own. Feel free to head across to Flickr and look at mine and/or Connor's pics.

Bloglines: My cousin Sophia mentioned (sometime earlier this year) that there was a product out there called "bloglines" which manages all the blogs that you read. My list of blogs to read was becoming so long, that I have (more by necessity than curiosity) invested some effort into it, and I am loving it. If you have a long blog list to trawl through, then I suggest you set it up for yourself. Thanks Soph.... Also: I found the Guitar Hero disc that I couldn't find when you were here - didn't take me long huh?

Bowling cam: More new pictures on my dedicated bowling cam highlights page.

Pogo; Sims2; Battlefield 1942; Dungeon Keeper2 - Too much time to mention on the aforementioned.

Choke....

Choke, gasp, gag........

Last night was an adventure. I introduced the lovely Dawn to the world of tapas. A restaurant I had never tried before, in an unfamiliar village, but with very pleasing results.

The downside of this, was of course, double garlic overload..... We ate a little TOO late, and both had a restless, acid indigestion plagued night's sleep, and heaven forbid.... The sheer stench emanating from where monkeys shove bad nuts is unbearable!!

I've never been very good with garlic. I love it, but it's not a mutual relationship.

Coupled with the fact that I have a really sore neck, for which I am taking anti-inflammatory painkillers that equally disagree with my digestive system, I now feel like I have been staked out in the sunshine and force fed a barrage of flaming rats.

Big Brother has now entered its final week. A double eviction tonight has dispatched of two of my least favourite characters, and this time next week we will know who has won (or indeed who has not lost by default). I am secretly looking forward to being given back some element of control over my life once the sun goes down. I've been a TV slave the same this year as every other year!!

The mousetraps remain empty - I am unsure whether this is a good sign or a bad one. Good if there are no more mice to catch..... Bad if they have become impervious to the delicious scent of peanut butter, and are secretly having a mouse sized Oktoberfest under my kitchen units, where they all play the alpenhorn and wear lederhosen and eat pickled onion monster munch, that come in a packet that has on it a competition to win a split level bungalow in the exact colour of orange of your dreams, and a shoe that's far too big to put your foot in.

I knew I shouldn't have eaten that cheese!!

See Connor's very own mini photo album here.

Sticking twos up!

Two good things have happened.

Well, I say two good things have happened.... In fairness, probably a great many more than two good things have happened, but for the most part they do not concern me. Well, they do concern me, and of course I love all the good things that happen...... Bloody hell, I am never gonna sort this mess out.

OK.... Disregard the above.

Two good things have happened to me that I would like to share with you through the power of blog.

Firstly, it was the most fantastical full moon last night. The moon has been really great for the last few nights in fact. Very golden, and moody, shrouded with wispy clouds. I love the full moon.

Secondly, it is officially the first day of July. This means that the country is now a designated no-smoking zone. In my wildest dreams, until very recently, I think I would have considered this an outrageous infringement of my civil liberties. As a non-smoker, it now delights me.

Big Brother is still bobbing along at a fair old pace.

I haven't watched last night's episode of Jekyll yet, so please don't spoiler it for me.

I am still loco for Pogo.

I put some vintage Big Brother adverts on youtube. They are from Big Brother 6 which was the one with Citizen Science and Kemal and Derek..... well, you get the picture. Feel free to watch them.

Justified.

Today is not a day for going out of doors.

Normally, at the end of the day, I would feel guilty about sitting at my computer all day when I should have been out and about doing something useful, like DIY for instance.

Today I will feel no guilt about being wrapped up cosy in my bedroom.

It's raining.

The rain streams down the windows, working like old fashioned glass filled with imperfections.

Ash tree branches festoon my rain sodden lawn.

I climb back into bed and paw over the remainder of the Sunday papers. Yesterday's news isn't today's chip paper in this house.

Just in case anyone was remotely interested in watching Big Brother you can watch it here for free - I used a link I found and it didn't work until I clicked the Big Brother link on the page.... try it and see?

Big Brother free live streaming.

Feeling old.

A strange illness indeed has descended upon my fevered brow.

For about a week now I have been mildly ill..... just ill enough for it to be annoying. Nothing debilitating or anything you understand, just weirdly off colour.

From the stomach gripes, through to the aches and pains in my bones. From headache to toothache. Acid scorched intestines and bubbling bowels.

It's just making me feel old. Is this really what I have to look forward to? I bloody hope not! Still, looking back to when I was in my early twenties, I would have guaranteed at that point that I would not be here today to write a blog.

Youthful nihilism is wonderful, but like a failed kamikaze pilot living in endless shame, the rewards of my over zealous days of consumptiveness are coming home to roost, like naughty pigeons.

Or maybe it's just a virus, a bug, a passing phase..... I have everything crossed, and a cupboard full of Zantac.

So where have I been? Why haven't I been blogging?? What's been so important that I have not had a few minutes to say hello?

Nothing..... Well lots of things, but probably nothing that the majority of you would be remotely interested in.....

Big Brother - I am gradually swaddling myself in the warm summer duvet of Big Brotherly love. I know you don't want to read about Big Brother here, but I like to state my case: The twins - I am loving them. They are the only housemates I have ever seen who have truly gone in there simply to enjoy and embrace the experience. I am disappointed that Lesley walked. I quite like Gerry, and although it's early days, I am starting to dislike Seany. There, that didn't hurt did it? Watching Big Brother isn't the end..... I must also watch all the companion shows - Big Mouth, On The Couch, Little Brother, Diary Room Uncut....... It takes time and dedication to be this big a geek.

Nintendo time - OK, so I bought a Nintendo Wii...... I completed the fishing game, and now I am settling down to play Red Steel - It's actually not a bad game. The controls take some getting used to, and I spend a lot of time spinning round either looking at the roof or the floor, but I am getting there. Cooking Mama is a good fun game, if a little limited in its longevity. Ten pin bowling will always be a classic.

Deadliest Catch - Its a TV show about a bunch of guys who fish the Bering Sea for crab. I love it. The new series has been great so far.

The F Word - I used to hate Gordon Ramsay, but I am now starting to actually like him. I think he has a natural talent with food, that makes it all look so easy. His choice to make that talent aggressive and loud mouthed has probably earned him more money than the talent alone, but I don't hold that against him. I also know Gordon will feel so much better knowing that's how I think.....

Celebrity Masterchef - I love the cooking shows. Don't ask me why. I am not a big fan of John Torode, but Greg Wallace is a good guy from Radio 4's very own Veg Talk. We're down to the final four contestants of this light hearted version of the much meatier Masterchef Goes Large.

Age of Empires - I am STILL playing it. I swear on my own life that this game has to be the best value game I have ever owned. There's no start, no end, and it just keeps going. I love it to pieces, and have played every incarnation. They've even announced plans for a new expansion pack - WooT!

Britain's Got Talent - Ant and Dec (my two least favourite presenters) host a talent search across the British Isles, to find an act that will be performing at the Royal Variety Performance. The three judges of this show are: Piers Morgan, Amanda Holden, and Simon Cowell - All three would feature in my top ten of who not to watch on TV - It's a recipe for a completely crap show, but I find myself actually enjoying it. From the Rapping Granny, to the Michael Jackson dancing monkey puppet act.

Hustle - OK, it's some light-hearted stuff about a bunch of grifters pulling cons against some unscrupulous "marks". The way the "marks" set themselves up for their falls is the weakest thing about the show, but the plots of the scams are worth a look. I originally was recording it for my Unc, but I am hooked now.

OK, it's clear I am becoming a telly addict. I am sorry. It's a much better habit than the smoking though. Three months have elapsed since I quit and here's my stats:

Days Smoke free: 85
Cigs not smoked: 3400
Cash saved: 893 GBP (1760 USD; 1890 CAD; 71665 INR)

Only 18 more days until Britain goes no-smoking - I for one am looking forward to it. A year ago, the concept would have scared the living bejeezus out of me, but look at me now Ma', I'm dancing, I'm dancing!!

Idle Idol.

Big Brother speedy reaction results in our first unlucky contestant having been shown the door for using racist language.

I use the term "unlucky" in its loosest sense, you understand.

This is Emily...... 19 year old drama student.... White, with rich parents, who have pretty much cushioned the girl throughout her short existence.

She dislikes: People who tell white lies, are ignorant or deliberately stupid.

Here's part of a transcript which resulted in her expulsion:

Emily: (referring to Charley dancing/pushing her hips forward) You pushing it out you nigger.
Nicky: (shocked laughter) Em, I can't believe you said that.
Charley: You are in trouble.
Emily: Don't make a big thing out of it then. I was joking.

I think the definition of ignorance and deliberate stupidity is to call a black person a nigger as a joke on national television. I think it goes slightly beyond ignorance and stupidity when Channel 4 are still reeling from the last racist episode a few months ago.

Agree? Disagree?? Don't care????

Now...... Who was saying that all publicity is good publicity???

That's one car I won't be buying.

Busy?

Busy doing nothing.

Master procrastinator at your service.

Try saying that after a few sherbets!!

Well, I've been busier than the bees that nest in the rotten window frames of my tumbledown house.

I've been fishing, and dog walking, and raising mighty nations. I've been reading, writing, and ringing my bank to do the 'rithmetic. I've watched telly, scoffed chocolate, and generally done sweet eff all, all day.

Of course today is the start of Big Brother. I promise not to blog about Big Brother for a few reasons, none of which need spelling out. If you really want to read about Big Brother, then head on over to digital spy and read it there.... I can't possibly compete with the wealth of misinformation there!!

This shall be my only bit of Big Bro commentary:

1) There's another West Yorkshire girl on this year's show - and she styles herself on Victoria Beckham. Enough said?? Not nearly..... She wants to give Yorkshire a good name..... she should start by effing off out if it then!! (The previous Yorkshire girl was a a girl from Huddersfield who disgraced not only Yorkshire, but the entire British Isles).

2) This year's show is, for the moment, all women!!

3) As I understand it, there will be one man entering the house on Friday night.... poor bugger is all I can say!!

I love Big Brother, but invariably it ends up being a damp squib that breaks my heart. It's a cross that in recent years I have not been proud to bear. I am sure I will come in for all manner of ridicule, just for mentioning my love of it.

And so, as I take a break between catching muskellunge on the Wii, and beating up Seville and Lisbon simultaneously, I manage to write a few words......

Hope you enjoyed them!!