Partly

Partly on account of the fact that:
Yesterday I worked a fourteen and half hour straight shift behind the bar.
Yesterday I drank (it's a guess) a gallon of Easy Rider during the above premise.
I've pulled a piece of skin off one of my toes, and it turns out that it's the bit that touches the floor when I walk and it's stinging and pretty uncomfortable.
I have headache.
Having got to bed at sometime around three o' clock this morning and being back at the pub for line cleaning at nine thirty, I'm quite tired.

For those reasons alone.....

Thank God it's Super Searching Sunday......

dose anyone know if i can buy rileys choclate toffee rolls
As featured in my "Top 10 Sweets" list.  Rileys no longer exist as far as I'm aware.... And I believe they were based in Halifax?  I could be wrong.... but it's highly unlikely!!  Anyway, you can get these, which are, apparently, quite similar.  Also, I think you mean "does" and "chocolate".

"the harlot's room" melissa
What can I say?  It's a book about an autistic hooker.  I've read it and can't remember it.  Here's more information on it.

"i now smoke daily"
Well you should stop.  It's bad for you and it's very antisocial..... here preaches an ex-smoker!!

disney on ice let's celebrate pinocchio
Did someone really come here looking for this?  They should be looking for this!

sapnas curry
Now here's a blast from my past.... on Venn St. (a street famed in Huddersfield for its "ladies of the night") there was a taxi rank (that contained an arcade in the back with great games like Burnin' Rubber) and there was a little late night curry house called Sapnas.  It was really grotty and grubby but the food was rather good and the people that ran it were always nice and friendly despite being permanently troubled by inebriated clientèle (a common curry house complaint).  I am convinced that a friend and I once went there and woke up resting on each other across the table.... surrounded by empty curry dishes, the previous contents of which we promptly paid for.... and to this day I am not aware that we even ate a curry.... I hope this is true.  It was also the last place that I ordered a meal that contained meat.

Goodbye

Goodbye Olympic flame.... you'll be off on your way back to Greece or Rio or wherever it is that you rest inbetween games.

In fairness, I have to admit, that in the run-up to the games, and during the torch procession..... I was decidedly in a state of "meh" about the whole thing.

As it's turned out, I've thoroughly enjoyed the games, and not just our success, either as Great Britain OR as our great state of Yorkshire, but it's been a really great games.

Well done Great Britain..... now let's forget about the games and on Monday morning we can get back to remembering how the bankers are screwing us and we're all frikking skint, and the price of petrol will be going up again.

Ok, that's my Sunday morning rant over.......

Super Sunday Closing Ceremony Searches.

does the 2006 artic fox 19 b have an alumimun frame

I can confirm that the Arctic Fox 19b does have an aluminium superstructure.  I can actually go one step further than telling you that this is a fact, and actually prove it to you.  Click here for the evidence, and what could possibly be deemed as the most awful video I could ever imagine!  If this was a video on youtube I'd be UN-favouriting it.  Also note, aluminium is spelt A L U M I N I U M and there's a C in Arctic..... like ArCtic dammit!

litres to us gallons

Well this is interesting.... I would convert in this manner:

1 US Gallon = 3.8 litres = 0.83 Imperial Gallons

silverbacked earwig

Now I don't know one earwig from another.  I DO however know that Dawn is terrified of earwigs, based simply on the old wives' tale that they crawl into your ears and eat your eardrums and lay eggs in your brain.  Stupid really, but it's still making me queasy typing it.

confused face

The emoticon (internationally recognised) for a confused face is.....

:S

the bait kitchen huddersfield

That'll be my mate Mark's shop then.... he has a facebook page and a website.

Oops

I don't know where all this time goes to.....

One minute it seems I am resolving to get around the blog circuit and catch up with whatever everyone else has been up to, and the next minute it seems I've not only not done that but I haven't even kept up with my own blog(s).

These are the inherent challenges of being a lazy blogger..

I'll tell you a little about my day yesterday then.....

I went to the pub in the morning and cleaned the lines - it's one of my favourite jobs of the week, and because it's carried out whilst the pub is shut (for obvious reasons - obvious to me but I'll explain later) it's a task with no serious distractions.

On Sunday mornings the pub (rather like the Landlord/lady) is suffering from the effects of the night before - and in this instance, much to my chagrin, that involved a "disco" of all things.  There were plastic shot glasses, sticky surfaces, and empty fridges to contend with.

Because line cleaning involves a certain element of "waiting" time - whilst the line cleaner does its job in the line system, I always get chance to tidy the bar area so it's ready for the next person to take over control at high noon.

I always pour myself half a pint of cider (which would normally go down the drain) as a sort of pub tradition that I drink whilst carrying out the work..... cider DOES actually count as one of my five a day..... usually crisps count as another of those, and if they're cheese and onion flavour..... well, double bonus.

The first Slawit drunk stumbled through the unlocked door at exactly 10:17am to ask whether we were open or not!!  We were not!!  The second one was not far behind him, and it did take some time to work out exactly where this chap could get a drink from at "silly o' clock" on a Sunday morning.

Beer line cleaner is an extremely caustic mix of chemicals that is flushed through the beer system, allowed to stand for a while, then pulled through and flushed out with water..... the caustic nature of it makes it a dangerous substance.  For this reason, it's advisable not to do this when the pub is open.... and to do the task when you're not being distracted.

Lines cleaned - beer all looking perfect - off out to Huddersfield for a bite to eat and a nice cup of coffee.

In the afternoon we returned to the pub and had a few beers and a game of "rock n roll bingo" and caught up with a few friends.

In the evening we went down to Greenhead Park to witness the end of the Jamaican Independence Day Festival and we watched the men's 100m final of the Olympics on a "jumbotron" TV screen, and the atmosphere was terrific.  Wish we'd gone down there earlier, it looked like a great day out and it was totally topped off by a Jamaican one-two in the race...... great stuff.

Quote: "Now Paulette, what is it that we are drawing this raffle for?"..... Paulette presumably says something "off microphone" and the man with the mic says "Yes my love I know it's for the first prize but what is that prize?".... and you know what, I don't think we ever found out.

Quote: "And the winner is Mister XXXX from North Birkby...... Blacker Road...... well it couldn't be Whitey Road now could it?" - cue hilarity in the park.

not

Not dead, just in a fuggy haze of Carling and Jagerbombs!

Ale Trail Saturday came and went, and yes, it was manic at times....... we're all alive though..... not sure about some of the punters that bought silly drinks though!

One day soon I'll be free to come and read and write ..... for now...... I have one hour before I am back behind the bar.....

Time for some food.

When Sunday

When Sundays go bad.

I looked, yesterday, for a series of searches of which I could select my usual eclectic mix, and expand upon them, in order to assist lost surfers in finding their perfect internet shaped wave.

Alas and alack.... in actual fact, a severe lack of searches have been completed in the last week, and for the first time in living history (or at least the last couple of weeks) there was not enough material for a Super Sunday Search blog entry.

Shame on you search engines of the interweb.  You know who you are!

So my weekend highlights have included:

A garlic pizza, which when opened (in the comfort of my own home/pyjamas) was revealed to be a combination of garlic and pineapple.

Line cleaning at the pub on Sunday morning - completed all on my own.... no help, no assistance..... no troubles.... everything tip top, ship shape and Bristol fashion.

Somebody ordered 11 pints of Leeds Pale Ale..... and the barrel ran empty after six!  Placated them with a further five pints of Batemans XB.

A bag full of new polo shirts (suitable for lounging and getting covered in beer) bought for me by the lovely Dawn.

My mum questioning the answers I supplied to her for her crossword..... on the basis that she couldn't understand how or why I would know that another name for a werewolf is a lycanthrope or that  "hydra" begins with an "H" and not with a" T"!

An order for twelve jagerbombs!

An order for twenty two raspberry sambucas!

A suitable (and cheap) lunch at Dirty Dicks in Halifax on Sunday afternoon with a couple of pints of rather nice ale.

A Chinese takeaway on Friday night that went a bit wrong by virtue of them not having what I ordered and then getting a free replacement dish instead.  Then similarly on Saturday lunch time, Dawn's ordered dish was not available and she was given a slightly inflated refund over her alternative choice.

I've just realised that I've eaten out all weekend.... and when I haven't eaten out, I've eaten takeaway.  Bad diet indeed!  A week of salads will surely be the penance.

Slurp, now for some Tour De France.

You know the score...

... socks and shoes off at the door!

Cleaned the lines at the pub and can't tell the difference when water or Carling is coming through them!

Enough pub speak...... let's do the Sunday Search Shuffle.....

hearth slabbing scunthorpe

Sounds like a new extreme sport that's begun to show its face in the Scunthorpe area.  Now, I won't pretend to know what "hearth slabbing" is.....  but I will pretend to know that Scunthorpe was once renamed "sconethorpe" in the early days of internet parlance.... and the reason was that some offensive language filters wouldn't let you use Scunthorpe's original name.... figure it out for yourself and get back to me if you think that's true or not!  Anyway - if you want to know about "hearth slabbing" it's covered here!  As for that particular thing, based in Scunthorpe, well I'll leave you to find that out for yourselves.

arctic fox animations

Shall I go round and dance about on the webcam?

outlane grave yard

It's small, but it's perfectly formed.  See bottom of this page for a picture of it!

jimi hendrix hair

He had lots..... and it looked really cool.  Look at this!

a whole heap of: cow from huddersfield; arctic fox blog; um bongo lyrics; there's nothing in the garden spike milligans!

These have all been covered in previous weeks and I don't wish to go over them again...... move along now!  The problem is that every time I mention these search items, I am presuming that the "algorithms that be" on our various search engines, are shunting me up the rankings!  Catch 22!

Could have... would have.....

I could have used this blank space to tell you all my latest bar room anecdotes, like the one about the guy who orders a beer called "Easy Rider" and as I am about to pour it asks, to seek confirmation that it is indeed a cider..... which of course it isn't, it's a bitter...... he looked at me blankly and asked "what's it like then?".....  "It's a bitter" came my informed response....... he had one anyway..... and I bet he didn't like it!

I COULD tell you that..... but I won't.

I could tell you about cleaning the lines through, about pulling eight pretty good pints of Leeds Pale in one single order.... I COULD, but I won't..... and do you know why?  Or maybe I'd tell you about a young chap that ordered a double vodka and Red Bull for almost six pounds, and I later found it almost intact on the table outside, but you don't want to hear that.

BECAUSE IT'S SUNDAY!!

b and q tri wing screwdriver

There's a definite pattern to these searches at the moment, and this is another one that's made its way into the "recent" list.  All I can tell you on this is that if you want a tri-wing screwdriver for the purpose of "modding" a Wii or an xbox..... then you won't find it at B&Q..... but you will find it at DealExtreme - or, like a fiend of mine did..... by "googling" tri-wing screwdrivers, he arrived at my blog and got in touch to borrow mine!

arctic fox ring

I can find plenty of rings featuring "foxes" but none that specifically have an arctic fox on them..... this one is my favourite!

there's nothing in the garden Spike Milligan

Thanks to a fellow blogging pal, Katherine, I have finally uncovered the mystery of this search.  Seems it's a Spike poem that goes a little something like this:

There's nothing in the Garden,
and unless I'm losing my sight,
there was nothing again this morning.
It must have been there all night.

It's hard to see a nothing
or even where its been.
This was the longest nothing
That I have ever seen.

I locked all the drink in the cellar
so nothing could get at the gin,
but by skwonkle o'clock in the evening
nothing had got in!

So I bolted the doors and windows
so nothing escape,
I called for the local policeman
who was armed with a helmet and cape.

'I hear there's been a break in
and you have lost something of worth.
Can you describe the intruder?
Yes he looks like nothing on earth!

arctic fox blog

Hello!

there was a cow from Huddersfield

Yes there was, in fact there are several, but the one you're referring to is the one that had difficulty producing her daily quota of milk....

There was a cow of Huddersfield,

Who said that her milk would not yield,

Unless she 'ad 'er 'udders feeled!

Where is it?

You all know the deal by now.... you go looking for something and inadvertently end up here..... and I, rather charitably point you in the direction you should have been heading in the first place.....

It's the Sunday searches!

hippopotamus um bongo

Well, there were a whole heap of characters in the "Um Bongo" adverts and song....  It was the hippo who took an apricot, a guava and a mango....  I've rattled off the lyrics to the song several times in my blog, it's my ONLY party trick, and I'm not about to do it again, but you can find a totally dope picture of your hippo here, and you can see the last time I sang the Um Bongo advert here.  (incidental note - seems Yorkshire Pudding was needling me all the way back in 2007!)

chuff a duck

Not bloody likely guv'nor!  Not sure why someone should be searching for such ill mannered phrases unless of course they are interested in the etymology (is that even a word?  wonder where THAT word came from!?!?) - well, I can only suggest that the term "chuff a duck" is a derivative of the previous rhyming term that involves doing unspeakable things to Donald and his nephews, Huey, Duey and Louie!  The interesting thing about hippopotami (see above) and the verb "to chuff" is that when you put them together, you would end up with a "chuffapotamus" which is a slang term for a minger with a big arse.... apparently!

there's nothing in the garden spike milligan

I've tried and tried and tried.... well I spent a couple of minutes with various search engines.... trying to understand what the "searchee" required with this term.... Usually I can find something that vaguely relates, whether it be a quote or a piece of writing or something.... but not in this case.  Please award yourself a gold star.... I've been "foxwhacked".

 

arctic fox soldier

Is that something like a Dog Soldier?  Which was a great film, especially when the cow fell off the cliff!  didn't half make me jump.  More likely you meant something like this.

the arctic fox blog

Hello...... you found it.  Unless you meant this imposter

I know I've gone a bit "linktastic" this week but perhaps someone, somewhere, will enjoy following a couple of them?

More of the same.

Sunday searches start here.....

I could go on, at great length, about the fact that my bowling cam is up and running again.  I could tell you how I was on the verge of going up into the loft to look for my webcam when I found it in a packing crate on my desk, just in the nick of time....  but I won't!

Where does the Arctic fox live

Apart from the lovely capitalisation contained within this particular search..... the answer is, of couse, glaringly obvious.... the Arctic you numbskull.

SKYMAN Bernard Kops

An old favourite of mine from my O level English Literature classes, was this crazy little poem, that goes a little something like this.....

My God I'm dead--
the young man said
when he saw his battered head
petalled on the crimson sand
--oh mother come and meet me now
and take my hand--
his body like a fountain played
along the empty esplanade
a coca-cola sign winked on
and when the moon came he was gone.

www.arctic fox.com

Oh where to begin??  Firstly, I have no idea why you would ever type a url into a search engine.  Secondly, I don't think a url should have a space in it..... so if you were looking for me.... you found me.... if you were looking for Arctic Fox cold weather products??.... it's over here - Instead of a space there's a hyphen in it...... i.e. arctic-fox.com

pete burns plastic surgery

The guy's had lots of it.... and I'm not really going to go into that.  Move along now.... nothing to see here!

www.articfox clothing.com

Oh no.... my pet hate..... first up, it's arCtic.... second up..... oh, it's you again isn't it from higher up this page..... typing urls into bloody search engines again......  there are no spaces in urls.....  if you want to search Google for "arCtic fox clothing" then that's all you have to type in, ok?  Well, me being generous and all, here's the link anyway!

When no news isn't....

No news isn't necessarily good news.... but it's news nonetheless!  Or is it?

Ok so it's my usual Sunday cop out searches!

zarch archimede download

"Ere Wevz have you played Zarch on the Archimedes?"

"Ave I f@%£k"

So goes the infamous story of how a friend introduced me to a game that is largely, to the best of my recollection, a sort of version of Virus on the Atari ST, which I actually HAD played and would have illicited a much more friendly response.  So you want a rom of Zarch for the Archimedes do you?  Well look no further!  #in fairness it's a really difficult game to track down and I think this is largely down to the fact that the Archimedes has been relatively impossible to emulate??

artctic fox blog

Usually someone misses out the "C" in arCtic fox and spells it thusly.... "artic".... and THAT makes me angry, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!  In this instance, notable only by the fact that I've never seen this particular mistake in my search criteria before.... they've added an extra "T".... well, it's a new one on me... and rather strangely, despite the odd spelling, I do rank number one in Google's list given that particular search!!  So, rather than have to point someone in the right direction..... you've actually, despite your poor spelling, found the right place.... well done.... sort of!

 

white phase arctic fox

Blue in summer; White in winter.... that's the Arctic fox way of life.... it's all about the camouflage innit!

folk off 

Same to you with knobs on!

jimi hendrix long hair

Yes he did. So did Noel Redding!!

Salty slug racing on a boring rainy afternoon!  come on lane 2!!!!

Saturated....

It's just another rainy Sunday.... warm, but boy, is it wet?

Went out walking yesterday and the weather was decidedly "muggy" so I'm quite glad that this rain will be clearing the air.  It started raining towards the end of our "abbreviated" walk, and it's been raining since....  the bowling green out back is completely waterlogged.... the golf course, through which I have just besoddenly dragged a god dog was in danger of capsizing.

Bad day for outdoor sporting it would seem!

So, it's left to me to provide you all with a bit of an alternative to jubilee celebratory activity overloading yourselves, and I choose to do this by bringing to you (insert fanfare).....

Search Engine Sunday.......

to whistle

I'm making a massive assumption in this response, but..... You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.

arctic fox diagram of the ear

Surprisingly, there doesn't seem to be a decent diagram of an Arctic fox's ear.... anywhere in the known puniverse.... so for the benefit of science, I've taken it upon myself to create one for everyone to be able to refer back to, and here it is:

harry hill trombone solos

Oh, this old chestnut.....I used to own quite a few really good tunes with Harry Hill trombone solos in them, let me see if I can't find them.... (you have to pause, looking at this sentence for at least fifteen minutes to emulate the "real-time" aspect of me going off searching my library of files)...... (ok files found.... wait here fifteen minutes while I find out how to embed an mp3 into my blog - at which I will undoubtedly fail and link you to the zip file containing the trombone solo mp3 files)....Click this (you'll have to download the "harry hill" file from there and unzip the mp3 files and play them for yourselves)!

kia ora crow

Let's set the scene.... you're sat in the ABC cinema and you've just watched the Disney cartoon that was the prequel to the forthcoming main event of some such film as "The Cat From Outer Space" or "The Apple Dumpling Gang" and inbetween the two films you get chance to queue up down the steps to visit a vendor of intervalistic treats.  You might visit a lady with a badly illuminated tray who is selling tubs, or in the case of one Huddersfield cinema, they had a little kiosk that only lit up in the interval and was halfway down the right hand side of the cinema embedded in the wall....  Anyway.... during said interval, there would be a few adverts playing on the screen......

One of the adverts would be the "Pearl and Dean" advert ..... pa pa pa paaa pa pa pa pa PA puh paaaa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa paaaaaaaaaAAAA YEAH!

Another such advert would begin..... "Your projectionist tonight is Eric." etc...... and went on to urge us to buy Kia Ora

Anyhoo...... the Kia Ora brand eventually spilled out of cinemas and into our supermarkets... eventually being advertised on our tellyboxes, where there was obviously no reference to our projectionist, Eric.  So they had to make up a new face for Kia Ora and it ended up as this whole sketch with some kid, some crows and a dog.... now deemed officially racist (just read the youtube diatribe that accompanies the video), but I can't imagine anybody was offended at the time.... anyway, here's a link to the crows and here's a link to Eric (lest we forget!)

top 10 biscuits 2012

Would you "Adam and Eve" it.... Someone actually came looking for biscuits!  Well you may all be aware, or not if you were too lazy to read it earlier, that indeed, I DID produce an official and legally binding "top ten" of biscuits that not only spans the year of 2012, but any other year you'd care to imagine!  Here's that very article, which is, rather imaginatively entitled "Top 10 - Biscuits" - It's the hyphen that makes it so special!

between...

Stuck between a rock and a hard place is where you will currently find me.

On the one hand, I should have posted a blog yesterday that was all about me fixing my shed and getting SEVERELY sunburnt into the bargain.

I had also planned a little blog about an exhibit at the Yorkshire Sculpture Park that was a series of bee boxes made out of bee related books.

When you consider that it's Sunday and it's red hot and I'm less than cheerful, you'll forgive me for sinking back into a blog about ..... Search Engine Sunday!

there was a cow from huddersfield

A poem once taught to me by a distant relative of the Peaker clan... possibly my mum's cousin David or some such person, that goes a little something like this.... (sound of fox clearing throat)......

There was a cow of 'Uddersfield,

Who said tha' 'er milk would no' yield,

Unless she 'ad 'er udders feeled!

fashion girls cool KART

Now, I'm as puzzled by somebody landing on my page as a result of asking a search engine this specific query.  I've tried desperately to understand what/why.where/who this was all about and in what direction I should gently "shove" them, and the best thing I can come up with is this VERY disappointing (loosely called) video game!!  Click here to play it!  I have to admit to having one go at it and was waiting for something to happen, when I realised.... that's it.... I mean that is literally all it does!!  Piss poor!

mission impossible and line burn

Are you suggesting that little Tom Cruise singed his pinkies by throwing himself off a building, tethered only by a little piece of rope and subsequently ended up say "ouch that really chafes"?  I can actually imagine that.  I don't, however, know anything about the Mission Impossible franchise.... don't recall having seen ANY of them..... perhaps Rol might have some information on this (he knows about movies and that)?  Or IMDB and their Movie Trivia!?!

death traps for arctic fox's

Good grief internet searcher.... where's your grandma?  I mean grammar!!  fox plural = foxes, something belong to a fox = fox's.  However, much more alarming is the fact that you're looking for a death trap for an arctic fox.... I can only hope that you are looking for this in order to ensure that no such things are present in your local fox friendly environment and not that you are planning a foxy genocidal mission!!  As an example... DON'T use these!

slug

Hang on... that's not even a valid search.  I hope the search engine spat you out in a semi-digested state suggesting that there is far from enough information to compute your request.  Do you want a fancy dress outfit for a slog?  A way to trap slugs in the garden?  A picture of a slug?  A slug of whisky?  It's too vague and you're making my head hurt, now go away!!

Back

Guess who's back?  Sunday search is back!!

Back by incredibly, inedibly, indelibly, popular lack of demand!

You all know the pack drill by now.....  if you came here looking for something that you couldn't find, then I'm here to help.  I live to give....  as long as you only want information... and not money!

noel redding

Oh, Noel.... he was the bassist with the Jimi Hendrix Experience.  He had an amazing... I mean AMAZING bouffant coiffure!  A friend of mine once commented that with my long, flowing (for "long, flowing" read "bushy, and wiry") hair made me look like Noel Redding, and the similarity and connection with my blog... starts and ends there!  Genius with a bass guitar he was.... great hair he had......

slut suzie blackpool

She was (possibly still is for all I know) a "hooker" from Blackpool in the North of England, who advertised her services on the internet.... and her speciality was catering for disabled clients!  She used to have a rather interesting blog about her life as an "escort" but it's long gone.... and unfortunately for the people who are STILL searching for her.... I have no idea where to send you.....  apologies for my fail, and Suzie, if you come looking.... let me know where to send the cheeky monkeys that come here trying to find you!!

 

walking dead wallpaper comic

Wow, a multiple criteria search.  I mean, make your mind up... do you want Walking Dead wallpaper, or do you want Walking Dead the comic, or do you want wallpapers from the Walking Dead comic?  Enjoy, and please be more specific with your search criteria in future!

um bongo lyrics

Ah, that old chestnut.... one of my party pieces.... It was a fruity drink...  don't even know if you can still get it... it probably contained too many flavourings, preservatives and nasty "E" numbers to have made the transistion to modern day living.  There was also a cheeky version where you could mix a bottle of Diamond White (cider) and Castaway (alcopop) to make a rather potent Um Bongo flavoured drink we laughingly referred to as "Blastaway"!!

Um bongo um bongo, they drink it in the Congo.

Way down deep in the middle of the Congo,
A hippo took an apricot a guava and a mango,
He stuck it with the others, and they danced a dainty tango,
The rhino said "I know, we'll call it um bongo".

Um Bongo Um Bongo, they drink it in the Congo.
The python picked the passion fruit,
The marmoset the mandarin,
The parrot painted packets that the whole caboodle landed in,
so when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle,
they all prefer the sunny funny one they call um bongo.

 

blog arcic fox

Firstly... well done, you made it to the right place.  Secondly, I'm surprised you made it to the right place you moron.... it's arcTic fox..... this comes a close second to my other pet hate of people missing out the first"c" and spelling it like "artic" - as in articulated waggon.... and believe me when I say this.... you do not want an eighteen wheeled articulated fox bearing down on you at ninety miles and hour baby (that's the speed I drive) - not that I actually drive at this speed, but it brings me full circle to finishing off this blog entry with lyrics from Jimi Hendrix's "Cross Town Traffic"!

Peace out!

Desperately seeking....

What do you want?
We want information!
Whose side are you on?
That would be telling. We want information.... information..... information......

Well you've come to the right place then haven't you? Because here at Fox Towers, it's another "search engine Sunday".

I know I've said it before, but for the benefit of those that are still not in "the know" I will say it again.

Sundays are piss poor for blogging.... nobody reads blogs on Sundays and nobody writes blogs on Sundays. Ergo, it would seem rather pointless to put a lot of effort into this, so I trawl back through my search engine data and try to help the cyber-travellers who might have found my page by accidentally taking a wrong turn on the information superhighway, or by providing information that might answer a certain type of question that's been asked.

earth's internal heat dies
Oh, you're a cheery character aren't you? The earth will cool and we'll all fly off into outer space, screaming and squealing as we go. Seriously, the earth's nuclear and solar powered.... it's been a lot hotter in the past and it's also been cooler in the past..... but it will eventually cool down, but you have nothing to worry about in your lifetime... or mine for that matter. Now cheer up.... go outside and do something good!

how many artic foxes are still alive
I presume you mean "arCtic"?? My pet hate spelling mistake. Don't do it again. I can not vouch for any others arCtic foxes, but I can tell you that there is at least one. I'd be lying if I told you any different. I CAN tell you that the arctic fox is NOT endangered. Treat them nicely and they'll last forever.

images arctic fox sophie ryder
I don't know about Sophie Ryder AND arctic foxes.... but I have been to a Sophie Ryder exhibition at Yorkshire Sculpture Park.... and I do have some photos of various exhibits there. There was one where there was a fox dancing (although they look like they are boxing) with a rabbit. You can see that one here? (not my work unfortunately)- see footnote of this blog entry for updated content and my own photo of said sculpture!

disney pinocchio
Erm......

noodle doodle went to town
Noodle doodle came to town,
With lots of straight spaghetti.
He twisted it around around around,
And this is what you get-i.

A-noodle-doodle-doodle-doodle motor cars,
A-noodle-doodle-doodle-doodle houses,
A-noodle-doodle-doodle-doodle butterflies,
Eek, noodle-doodle mouses!!



Normally I would never edit a blog entry - it's the spontaneity that keeps things fluid around here.... but I am kicking myself for not noticing that a previous blog entry (it was some time ago mind) contained the fox and hare picture from Sophie Ryder (taken by me!) and here it is!

Sunday search

I know that the world of blogging goes a bit flat over the weekend.  Add to that weekend the snooker finals and you are not very likely to find me here either.....

Luckily for you..... the snooker finished early (Ronnie O'Sullivan really outclassed Ali Carter and gave us all a free evening!)..... and I hark back to the days of old when I used to try and have a look at what searches people had been using to find my page and to point them in the right direction......  So here's a revival of an old blogging tradition.....

tri wing screwdriver b&q

You won't get one at B&Q - In fact I DO know that a mate of mine was actually looking for a tri-wing screwdriver..... and in searching for it on the web turned up my blog and rung me up to see if he could borrow mine.....  random event!  Well a tri-wing is for taking consoles apart.... I use mine for the Wii and for the Nintendo DS..... I got it from here and they are REALLY cheap!  If you live lly, you're more than welcome to borrow mine!

whistle and ride

A phrase I inherited from my mum..... usually called to me whilst I was absent mindedly dawdling over something or other..... "whistle and ride" she'd say.... in typical female fashion, expecting the impossible, for a man to do two things at the same time...... Like Microsoft products, we are notoriously bad at multitasking.

my balls fox

Erm......

royal doulton arctic fox

Such a tacky piece of paraphernalia would never grace the mantlepiece of Fox Towers.  I don't think Royal Doulton would even plumb these depths of tat.... but if you've got money to burn and are desperate for such an item.... send the money to me and I will make you one from blu-tack or carrots or something.

do arctic foxes use water for anything other than drinking

Besides making cups of tea and coffee and the occasional wash..... not much.... not even to wash my car!

Wet firework.

Well, razzmatazz it ain't.

The latest series of Big Brother is a complete damp squib. We're just a few days in and.... I've already lost the will to view.

The episode tonight was embarrassingly bad.

I've even lost the will to write down or explore all the failings of the current show.

You've been saved from a real diatribe then!!

I've resorted to downloading a whole heap of Clint Eastwood films to keep me company through the dark hours where I'd normally be watching the Big Brother live feed and making my own mind up about what's really going on in the house.

I suppose I should be paying more attention to the local elections and the European elections......

.... or maybe not!?

Golden oldies.

A Sunday super search spectacular, just for old time's sake. For those that don't know, I used to pick my favourite search entries that brought people to my blog, and to point them in the right direction for the best answers.

Here goes.....

1) jenni falconer smoking (Google) - I am still amazed at the number of people that come to this site by this search. I think some time back I worked out that Jenni Falconer had something to do with some anti-smoking campaign or something.... anyway.... Smoking fetishists everywhere... enjoy!!

2) diving sparth reservoir (Google) - Diving?? In Sparth Reservoir??? Are you mad??? Now, I do know a bit about Sparth Reservoir as it's on my regular walking routes. It lies at the edge of Marsden and it's a hotspot for kids to swim in when the weather's as hot as it has been for the last few days. The only diving I know that happened there was last year when some kids found clothes dumped next to the reservoir and the search teams went in.... nothing was found. Here's a picture or two of Sparth though.

3) tri wing b&q (Google) - Look, you're just not going to find a tri-wing screwdriver at B&Q. Well, I tell a small lie there, you may well find a tri-wing bit in one of those driver bit packs that you can buy, but if you're looking for a tri-wing driver, I can probably guess it's for console modding!! Have a look here for the cheapest deal I found when I was looking for mine. They don't even charge for postage!!

4) what is the difference between an arctic fox and a fox? (Google) - About 2000 miles!!! Boom boom!!

5) j s q d u a o t t (Google) - Incredible that someone should search for this, and I had to research it myself to realise why they ended up here whilst looking for it. Those are the letters of the final Countdown selection when Carol "thinking man's crumpet" Vordermann was "retired" from the show. For further information purposes..... and an extra nerd point.... both contestants formed the word "quotas".... Carol wept, and so did the nation when we were left with the annoying replacement, Rachel Riley.

6) do artic foxes use water for anything other than drinking (Google) - In short, yes. Cooking, bathing, washing the car, watering the garden, filling the birdbath.... you know, all the regular watery type stuff. PS: Pet hate - it's "arCtic", not "artic"!!!!!

7) concede a frame in "virtual pool" 3 (Google) - I played it a lot and would never concede a frame!! I don't think there's a quick key command that correlates to conceding a frame, and I can't find the instructions either.... you could look here though. The full instructions are here. The keyboard shortcuts are here.

8) hot water bottle tummy fetish (Google) - Say what now?

9) wallpaper girls (AltaVista) - I'm just amazed that anyone still uses altavista!! Just move across to Google and marvel at the results!!

10) haikus for arctic fox (Google) - I imagine you could give any haiku you like to an arctic fox. If, however, you were looking for haiku ABOUT arctic foxes, then they are few and far between.... My gift to you:

In winter, in white.
Changing coats with the season.
In summer, in blue.
(Arctic Fox May 2009)

Starting....

I'm starting to annoy myself.

Firstly, I'm beginning to think my house may be haunted. Strange bumps, creaks, moans and groans abound in this place. Sitting on the sofa tonight it actually felt like an animal of some sort jumped up on the sofa and sat beside me.... I don't believe in ghosts..... this is an old house though and the more time I spend here, the more it takes on its own character.

Secondly, I can't stop slaying zombies!!

Having recently (Thanks to Al) got my Nintendo Wii "chipped" with a Wiikey V2 - I've discovered a whole raft of new games to play.... for the most part I'm desperately trying to scramble over the finishing line of Resident Evil 4. Other titles that are gracing my living room are "Onechanbara - Bikini Zombie Slayers" and "Dead Rising - Chop Till You Drop" - I frequently dream about being a Japanese schoolgirl armed with a samurai sword and whipping the heads off people out walking in the park.

Just in case I might tire of zombie slaying or go a bit too psychopathic..... I've lined up Rapala's Fishing Frenzy (I bloody love a good fishing game), Samba De Amigo (a game that allows you to skillfully follow the career path of the maraca shaking Bez from the happy Mondays), and last but not least Tiger Woods 09 (web enabled multiplayer golf game).

Between the Wii and my laptop-enabled TV for watching movies (via that lovely 2m (6ft) Atlona VGA to RGBHV (BNC/RCA) breakout HDTV cable from San Jose) and sorting out all my photographs and files and managing the bloody computers that house everything.... well, it's almost a full time job aint it??



Getting a good photo on the canal is literally like "shooting fish in a barrel" or indeed relates firmly to "sitting ducks". I just liked this photo.... looks like the duck's actually laughing at us. You decide.

Bloody Sunday.

A depressing day is Sunday. I used to think it was a depressing day because it's the weekend wind-down back into work mode, but as I currently don't work, then that can't be the case. What a crappy day it is.

For some reason, my blogger wasn't working today.... and that's annoyed me a bit.

Just stopping by to give a list of things I've been watching lately.....

Currently viewing: Prisoner Cell Block H season 1 - A great Antipodean blast from the past. Actually I noticed that the date stamp on the episodes is 1979 which of course makes it thirty years old. I bloody love it.... Vinegar tits, Lizzie Birdsworth, Bea, Doreen and the gang..... Fabulous and stands the test of time, despite the wobbly walls and decidedly dodgy wallpaper!!

Recently viewed: Early Doors - Seasons 1 & 2 - A not very widely viewed comedy when it first aired. I think it was during my "quiz night" period with spice-the-cat and Lenny..... it's fabulously funny, dry, grim, and extremely northern!!

Currently viewing: The Complete Goofy 1939 - 1961 - Worth watching just for the Motor Mania episode featuring the Jekyll and Hide type Mister Walker and Mister Wheeler characters.

Cued up for viewing: Futurama - Bender's Game; Futurama - Into the Wild Green Yonder.

Recently viewed: Extras seasons 1 & 2 - Extremely rib tickling Ricky Gervais and Steven Merchant (who I actually prefer to Ricky Gervais) Bafta award winning sitcom - it ticks all the boxes before you even start watching and continues to do so all the way to the end - I (guiltily) managed to get through the 12 episodes over two days.

Recently viewed: Lipstick on Your Collar - Ewan McGregor's first "major" role in this Dennis Potter made-for-tv suez crisis based war office serial. I can imagine you've already switched over by now.... but stick with it.... I remembered it from being on the tellybox in 1993 and decided to look it up again - I'm not sorry I did. Quirky and pretty unpredictable rock-n-roll extravaganza.



Don't feed the animals - they'll end up stuffed!! A distant cousin on the recent photography course.

About turn.

Blog entry take two.

Having previously decided to blog about a successful purchase of Marmite - a measly 250g jar which worked out cheaper than any of the other sizes, larger ones included.... I've changed my mind, and that's my frikking perogative, so back off!!

It's Nintendo DS time.

Having spent approximately six hours swapping the case, only to fail at the final hurdle by snapping the power switch...... that's where I left off. I had been quoted thirty quids to repair it....

Having shopped around, I managed to buy a couple (one for emergencies/disasters) of said power switches from a company in Leeds for just ninety eight pence each.... yes that's nine-eight 98 whole pence!!

Good old RBK came round and desoldered the old switch and soldered on a new one for me - cheers Rich - GREATLY appreciated - some people have skills and although they don't prize them very highly, others certainly do.

I put the whole thing back together and settled down tonight to stick on the rubber feet and screw covers and all those other bollocksy bits that finish the job. The rubber feet weren't self adhesive so I superglued 'em on for good luck...... can you guess what happens next??

I turn on the completely reassembled machine and the top screen is blank.

Back to the drawing board - screw heads are starting to strip away and rubber feet are now cut out and thrown in the bin - back to the fiddly gold connector ribbon and it's working again.... reassembly - seriously those screws won't take another undoing....

Hey presto - a bit of bodging and lots of determination and assistance into the bargain and:



Before - all set out for a very organised afternoon. When the switch snapped it all ended up being chucked into a bag and the screws got mixed up and.... well you know how it goes.... everything I touch turns to shite!!



During - A picture I took during the operation - this one was supposed to help me remember the wire routings. See the little black wire that runs under that big silver block thing..... oh my.... it nearly didn't get reconnected. Also spot my Hong Kong screwdriver propping it all up.



After - Sexy metallic red - all revved up and ready to go.... if I can just finish this effing blog then I might be able to play some!!