So what?

So what is my blog worth?

Well according to "Pingoat", as of today, my blog is merely worth $28.06.

However, according to Technorati, it's worth a whopping $5080.86.

Now, I don't really believe these values, and wouldn't expect anyone else to either. They're simply a bit of fun. I presume there's some spanky algorithm back there, that ranks you based on outgoing and incoming links and your update frequency. Not really rocket science, and probably a little too black-and-white to be of any real accuracy.

So what's my blog really worth?

I'll tell you....

As a vehicle, a tool for expressing myself, for getting all the thought-mush out of my head and onto a digital notepad, it's bloody priceless.

As a commercial venture, for the purpose of raising advertising revenue, completely worthless.

For its potential to turn into a best-selling book (or "blook" if you're swept away with such nonsensical mumbo-jumbo), such as Girl With a One Track Mind, or Shaggy Blog Stories, my potential is less than nought.

As a domain name, that might tread on some multi-millionaire's toes, forcing them to buy it off me, the chances are slim. Someone already beat me to arctic-fox.blogspot.com, and they haven't updated it in two years!!

As a resource for people to come and go as they feel fit, and to plunder my head for anything useless...... maybe, a penny for my thoughts?

Letting my family know I am still alive, and although I am now a cave dwelling hermit with a beard down to my knees, that has taken the oath of silence, am still kicking, maybe another few pence. They could always text me if they wanted to know whether anyone was inheriting my DVD collection yet?

So, in summary, my blogs worth two thirds of sweet Fanny Adams.

The only person who gains anything from it at all, is me.

Let's face it, who the hell would want to buy a blog, and what the bloody hell would they do with it when they got it?

My blog is worth $5,080.86.
How much is your blog worth?

Hold the front page....

... Stop the press.... hold your horses.... wait just a cotton picking minute.....

It's official.... I am now an artist.

Remember some time back, I mentioned that the Musee De L'Elysee were doing an exhibition called "All Photographers Now"?

Well, I submitted some photos, and they've been shown in the art gallery.

I am over-the-moon!!

I do of course realise, that they probably show just about everything that gets submitted, but I never actually thought it would happen.

"Oh, yes, my work has been exhibited in the Musee De L'Elysee" is such a good one liner.




You can (of course) view the original pictures (shameless plug) in my Flickr sets.

Well done to everyone who tried to make sense of yesterday's literary conundrum - I had a very good chuckle at them. I will give everyone a few more days to go through yesterday, in case anyone else wishes to have a go, and decide on an eventual winner.

Crazy...

.... like a fox.

The world continues to astound me.

Oftentimes, I am reminded that I am simply an insignificant, taciturn cog, in some bloody screwball machinery. Today is no exception.

I've made reference in the past, to wondering whether my parents picked up the wrong baby when they left the hospital.... Sometimes, this feeling of being a misplaced entity, extends beyond family. Sometimes, I wonder whether I am actually of this world.

You only have to switch on the news, or read a paper, to get a taste of the madness.

Let's take this morning's news as a brief example...

Sandwiched together, and in no particular order, were the following "news" items.

Vicar, stabbed to death, died in his wife's arms.

Young girl hatched two ducklings from duck eggs!!

Olympics 2012 budget has quadrupled since the initial projection to 9.3 billion pounds (for the American friends, that's about 18 billion dollars).

After ten years research and development, a New York pizza chef has proudly unveiled a thousand dollar pizza. (for the English friends, that's about 516 pounds).

A 12 year old boy was arrested, after 17 pupils were shot with a ball-bearing gun, in a school playground.

Apart from anything else, I feel strangely disconnected from all of these worlds.

The presentation of these items does make me smile though. I always like to see a few fluffy animals mixed in with the death, murders, and political pontifications.

Perhaps Walt Disney was right about one thing, at least?

A spoonful of sugar really does help the medicine go down. I always find a handful of antacids, and a good dose of daytime TV help keep it down too!!!

At least we can rest assured now, that, as of the 15th March 2007, the following words are locked safely into the Oxford English Dictionary:

technopreneur,n.
scooby,n.
fuck-off,n.
pig-pile,v.
shit-eater,n.
Tae-Bo,n.
tighty-whities,n.

I don't even think I need to comment! In fact I think, without too much effort, I could make a fairly good sentence out of that little lot. In fact, there's a prize for any comment that can fit them all in!!

Shopping.

Since I began my life of unemployability....

I have to first explain, that what began as a period of chosen unemployment, has now led to me being so feral, that I am positively unemployable.

.... I have noticed one thing.

Daytime TV is predominantly made up of programmes about buying things.

Everyone on daytime TV is buying and selling things. It's like vicariously shopping by proxy for the people with no money.

Depressing really, especially considering the cast of third rate entities that seem to flock to the casting couches for each of these trading travesties.

I'm fading into obscurity..... Obsessive about web stats, about photographing Scrabble letters, about drinking coffee, about watching movies, and generally being unproductive.

Incredibly, I have even pondered the concept of making some sort of animation. Perhaps it could be the New Adventures of the Tenacious D?

Either that, or with the help of daytime television, I'll become an antiques dealer, or a property tycoon? More likely a drug dealer!!

Now, is it more Royal Doulton elephants? Or another movie? Oh, the choices I have to make!!

Thank the lord for Pogo badges, that come out this afternoon!!

Missing - Presumed dead!

On a more serious note than usual, I must share my plea with the world.

On 12th March 2007, at approximately 2pm (GMT) - Huddersfield police received a report of a missing person.

The person in question, known only to his friends as family as "Tenacious D", has not been seen since March of last year.

He is described as being, white, with no hair, about 14 years old, and is 20mm tall.

Have you seen him? Do you know where he is hiding?

Any information can be passed anonymously to the police, via the Arctic Fox's blog.

Police issued the following photofit.



He was last seen wearing absolutely nothing, in the Arctic Fox's lounge, and had recently scored 2 points.

All information will be treated with the utmost contempt, and a reward may be offered for the safe return of this individual.

Police have warned the public, that if they see the "Tenacious D", they should not approach him, as he may be arme_ an_ _angerous!!

You may also wish to make use of my "Paypal Donation" button - over there on the right hand side of this page - as I now need to find at least three hundred pounds bail for the charge of wasting police time, breach of the peace, and assaulting a perfectly good blog entry.

Nosedive.

What can I say......

My health and mental wellbeing are under extreme duress.

The remnants of my teeth are all aching. Abscesses that once grew in my jawbone, and have been previously treated have flared and gone again. My lungs are like toast. My head feels like it's full of emmental. Patches of dry skin are erupting with consummate ferocity, faster than I can apply any ointment or cream, and often in places that I could only reach with the aid of a rag on a stick!!

I'm fit for the knackers yard!!

And so, what is the plan.... How do I shake off this funk?

1) I hereby declare, that this week, will be the official relaunching of my mountain biking season. I need to do a little bit of work on the bike, and then I am going to get back into doing at least ten miles a day again.

2) Vitamins - Berocca are my friend. Since finishing work, I have been decidedly lax in my vitamin intake. It used to be a regular thing when I arrived at work that I would take one of these foamy, soluble sidekicks. I have some cheaper, less frothy alternatives, and I am about to start a serious dosing up.

3) Paperwork - It's part of a staple mindfrik of mine. When there's too much paper to logically know where to begin, I panic, and hide it all under an Age of Empires box. It's a big box. Even with the paperwork hidden, it still weighs heavily on my mind, and there's no real reason to allow this to encumber me any more.

4) Food - I need to get myself some food. I have been living on a really bad diet lately. I am slipping into "dole mode", and this includes - Not going out of doors during daylight; Eating only the remnants of previously looted cupboard stock; Playing too many games; Watching too many films during the day. - I need fruit and vegetables.

5) Smoking - I really need to cut down on my smoking. Sure, we all know it's bad for us, and the taxes, undoubtedly, prop up some vital services in this country. I just smoke too damn much. Since finishing my job at the end of November, my daily cigarette intake has actually doubled to about forty a day.... Now, if that isn't going to produce some nasty side effects, then I don't know what will.

Unfortunately for me, my common complaint is that I tend to spend far too much time examining my funk, than I do trying to get the hell out of it. I need to invest my time and energy more productively.

Right..... enough..... I'm off to take some vitamins, and to make a start on that paperwork. The next time I blog, I expect to be in much better spirits.

Positive mental attitude!!

Just as I have published my entry, and am about to walk away from the computer to sort my life out.... Evil Fox rears his ugly head.

I light another cigarette, and begin procrastination level 10.

If you've never seen the British classic "Peep Show" then you should go and check it out here - Sophia... I am looking in your direction here!!

There are lots of things to watch on the above website, and the list is here, although a lot of the content is regularly removed.... You never know, you might actually find something you like.

The other thing, which I haven't mentioned, is something I picked up from Yorkshire Pudding's blog - It's called "Britblog" - It looks like it could do great things in the near future, so if you are remotely interested in British blogging, either at home or abroad, then go check it out. The more observant of you may have already noticed, that a) I now proudly display their banner, somewhere over there on the right hand side, and b) If you aren't interested in British blogging, then how the bloody hell did you manage to make it so far into my British blog??

As a final act of anal loitering (It sounds worse than it is) - I manage to italicise two whole words, finish my cig, and republish my blog.

Oh, yes.... You don't get rid of me so easily..... Just for those that might wish.... John Shuttleworth's Europigeon video!!

Standardly.

Sunday..... A day of rest.... sort of!!

Went out for a Mongolian barbeque last night.... Pretty good, but I couldn't eat a full one.

Ate too much, and spent the remainder of the evening in Arctic Fox's patented "poorly dog" mode. For those that don't know about this, it's like when a dog has eaten too much and is to be found rolling around on the floor with its legs in the air, whimpering.

Woke up early(ish) this morning, with a mouth like a Mongolian monkey's armpit, and a Cambodian rice belly. Not a pretty sight!!

Chilled for a while, playing Age of Empires.

Dawn came round, with Stevie the wonderdog, and after a boiled egg and soldiers, we went for a brief constitutional. Didn't walk too far, but managed to take a few photos, which of course (excuse the plug) you can find on my lovely Flickr album. Today's set is called "Outlane Walk" and there's a quite nice panoramic shot, which includes the view over the top of my house and into Halifax.

This afternoon was spent "Mother's Day" shopping, for the impending Mothering Sunday next weekend. Probably the first time in my life, that I have managed to get this thing all done, with a week to spare.

Ok, enough of my "standardly" Sunday, already.

I simply wanted to pass on a little information, to anyone who might be interested. There's this thing, right? It's an art exhibition I guess, that runs at the Musee D'Elysee - It's called "All Photographers Now".......

Far be it from me to try to explain..... but I will summarise, and you can go there and find out more if you are so inclined.

Basically, you submit your photograph(s), and they may or may not decide to exhibit them, via projecting them onto the wall of this exhibition. If they do choose to do so, they email you back a picture of your picture on their walls. Simple. They will also pick a few photos, to print them out and add them to the museum's archives.

And so, if you have ever taken a picture, you ought to at least have a shot at it.... I'd love to hear from anyone that succeeds, and of course I'd love to have a copy of and pictures that get emailed back from the museum.

Go on, it's free, and you could make some art.

The thing I love about this concept, is that it's truly modern art.... made by the people, for the people..... there are no boundaries, no borders, just pure, unadulterated, collaborative global art. Should be right up every Flickr user, and every bloggers pipe!! Digital art at its very very finest.

Adieu the noo!!

Humbled.

Seems there doesn't a week go by lately, where I don't have some cause to eat a large slice of that bitter bastard of a pie, known only by it's humble name.

I know it shouldn't taste so bitter, but generally, it's force fed to me, and usually rammed up both my nostrils at the same time!!

Blogging, for me, started out merely as an "organic" method of maintaining some sort of website, where I could gather: Thoughts, links, pictures, files, and anything else. That a blog could be easily maintained without wading through pages of html code, just to make a small change. I maintained a few websites before I discovered the relative calm and simplicity of blogging.

Even now, although my intentions are good towards blogging, it sometimes feels like a chore and a mandatory daily exercise, to find words that can actually say something. I know that nobody likes to read about me lazing about all day pretending to be a sniper, without actually getting dressed, or taking my slippers off (although the slippers do make for extremely quiet walking, and I can run to the paper shop in them with unfathomable haste when I run out of milk or bread or something equally staple).

Yesterday, was my attempt to "unclutter" my head. To get some troubling issues out onto a page, to simply free up a bit of headspace. It worked, and today, I feel, not only better for this cathartic experience, but positively uplifted and a bit overwhelmed by the responses it derived.

I also went out of my way to find a few new blogs. I used to make a weekly effort to do this, to branch out, to explore other people's thoughts and ideas. The blog fish pond can be very insular at times, and it seems, as more of my regular haunts fall by the wayside, I now rarely find the time or energy to change the water, in whatever is left of this fishbowl of life.

If anyone else feels the need to check out some new blogs, then might I point you in the direction of these two local gents?

Yorkshire Pudding

Walls come tumbling down

And so, on to the pie....

A big thanks to everyone for their continual support.... It's frikking great to know that so many people stop by and take time to look into my fishbowl. It's all too easy sometimes to forget that bloggers are just real people, writing whatever happens to float through their heads at the time they happen to be near a computer!! (Perhaps it's more like, during the time when they are not away from their computer!!). I got a big warm hug from everyone yesterday, and it made me feel great.

In other news....

You still have time to sponsor my cousin's efforts for MS.

Ferny - You signed my guestbook, but there was no link to track back to your blog.... If you've got one, share it with us please.

Dawn - I love you!

Sophia, and Spice - Thanks for your good advice, and hopefully I will be visiting in the near future.

Kenny - Thanks for the donation.

You can still see the "Mad Peakers" inaugural gig here!

My Flickr album of high quality images is still here.

Oh, and I almost forgot, if anyone wishes to see what I looked like in those heady days of my youth, when I used to pretend to play a saxamaphone... look no further!! Those elasticated bow ties really did chafe somewhat.

I'd like to thank my mum, and my dad..... and anyone else who knows me...... yadda yadda.

Please, next time, would someone remember to bring the custard?

Quandary.

In life, there are decisions to make.

In fact, in life, we make millions of decisions each day that require no effort or thought at all.

Which sock to put on first? Subconsciously, I imagine every day I put the same sock on first every day. It's not something I think about.... except for now.

And what of the causality of putting on the same sock every day?

Would life take an alternate path if I made a conscious decision at the last minute and put down the sock, picked up the other one and put that on instead? Would those micro-seconds of adjustment mean that I get run over by a bus later this week? Unlikely, but probably just as likely as it is unlikely to be honest.

These are not the decisions that are currently troubling me though.

My current situation is thus:

I am unemployed (through choice, honestly) and am not looking for work.

Both Dawn and I have our own houses, we both have mortgages, we both probably have to spend more each month to keep our heads above water, than is healthy.

I have a lifelong desire - It's not an ambition, it's something I feel like the pulling of a tide - to move to Canada.

I currently have enough money in the bank that I don't actually NEED to work, but the longer I don't work, the less useful and large this ever decreasing sum of money becomes.

I have a business, through which I work contracts. As I am not looking for work, the business running costs are eating into the bank balance.

There is a rat living in my garden. As much as I love all things of nature, a rat running up my trouser leg is not a prospect I relish. Nor for that matter, is the prospect of said rat finding a suitable life partner, and establishing its very own rat utopia 'neath my bird feeding stations.

So....

What should I do?

I could wind up my company and take all the money for myself, but I need to put this money to good use, and not (as in all previous situations where money has landed on my doorstep) become a drug dealer, a drug abuser, or indeed piss any of it up against the wall.

I could get some sort of job, but in my current state of mid-life crisis, I am completely unsatisfied with my career options. I don't actually know what I want to be when I grow up.

I could move in with Dawn, or vice versa, and our combined efforts could actually wipe out 99% of the money troubles we both experience. I've had troublesome house-sharing experiences in the past, and this naturally makes me shy away from this option. The longer our situations go on though, the less money there will be available to achieve these ends. Coupled with the fact that there are Dawn's kids, and I have no parenting skills whatsoever, or indeed any parenting rights, this doesn't seem like an easy option.

I could just sell up, lock-stock-and-a-whole-barrel-of-fish, take my leave and move to Canada, and buy a house for cash money dollars, and stack some supermarket shelves or something.

Both Dawn and myself could sell up, and move to Canada. We could afford a house, and still have a fair amount of cash in the bank left over. Dawn's kids, added to this equation, their schooling, their dad, etc etc, create a myriad of problems, which seemingly make this task impossible.

I could poison the rat.... against my zen-like attitude towards nature..... Hope that the little birds don't get into the container of rat poison, and that the larger birds don't eat a poisoned dead rat.

So what do I do?

What would causality make of any of this?

......

I pull on my left sock, and fill a peanut butter jar with warfarin, lie down in the road with a cold compress on my aching brow, and wait for the 539 bus to Hebden Bridge to pass clumsily across my broken bones! (Note to self - must update my will, and benficiaries)

Space.

Space is ace, unless it's an MSN space of course!!

I am trying to make a concerted effort to catch up with my blogging buddies, but MSN spaces are so bloody effing slow, that I just can't do it.

Go on MSN users, take the plunge and get yourself a proper blog!!

I have a stack of paperwork and housework to do, but I am so much more content to be sitting in a pigsty, impersonating an elite sniper on my playstation. Woe is me.

Maybe I will get round to it tomorrow? Whaddya reckon the chances of that are?

I can already hear a raft of prerecorded sky+ programming that I have carefully selected. Those Pogo badges are not going to complete themselves. Those bloody Germans will still be running their ammunition dumps, and dammit, those trees, fish, and gold mines, just won't manage on their own.

I'm a slave to the game.

I am an imp in the very dungeon of my own creation, suffering a tirade of self flagellation. The prize? My very own dried up coffee cup ridden pigsty, complete with overflowing ashtrays.

It's true, life's a bloody game.... just not sure what type it is yet, or where I can buy the strategy guide. One thing's for sure though, I am preordering the sodding expansion pack!!

Idiot.

Ok, so it's taken me a while to realise, and I doubt very much that anyone even cares. Since "converting" across to the new Blogger format, I lost, what I would normally consider to be a very important part of my blog. It's back now, and I will sleep much better tonight.

Sign my guestbook!

I am such an aboservant badger sometimes, it's scary!!

Irony!

Doing homework with Tom, and he is getting more and more stressed out, trying to come up with ideas for "Tom's little book of calm". All the while, playing with a stress-ball in the shape of a little pink pig, and not realising the irony of it all.

My, how we laughed!!

Touching.

Connor's gift of a double chocolate cookie, for the things I do for him, and the cakes and buns we bake. I can only assume, in Connor-world, he is envisaging that this is a down payment on a tray of chocolate cornflake crispy buns!!

Brilliant.

As pointed out by fellow blogger, Worcester Dan, there are some great photos on Flickr of the lunar eclipse. Go, seek, and find!! Here are some to get you started:

PlasticSnow's composite image

Distractable Savant's composite image

Ok, so it's a cheap blog already, lots of words, plagiarism, and nothing much to say....

Relaxing.

Spent most of yesterday, in the company of the lovely Dawn. Chilling and relaxing, or more succinctly, as the urban yoof might say.... chillaxing!

Worthy.

It's definitely worth a mention, and it would mean a lot to me if you could pay some attention to this. As you may or may not know, I recently lost my stupendous cousin Dan. Dan lost out to multiple sclerosis. One of my cousins in Canada is doing a sponsored walk for the MS charity. If ANYONE can spare as little as a single dollar for this worthy effort and cause, then please..... sponsor Sophia in her 10km walk.... it's karma in the bag dudes and dudettes!!

Sponsor Sophia please.

Teaching Tom.

Tom got his school report, and it's not brilliant. The good news, is that there are some easy aspects that can be improved - namely, concentration and attention problems, and the fact that he sulks!!

I know Tom is capable of achieving good results, but, in the main, I have to question the teaching methods on offer.

As an example, last night was a lunar eclipse. I am no astronomer, but I do love the moon phases, and incidents such as this.

I drew a quick, rough and ready diagram to explain it to Tom. Armed with information about the umbra, the penumbra, and the atmosphere bending the light waves around the earth, we settled back and watched the shadow creeping across the moon, until engulfed, finally it glowed red.

We looked at a few stars, and discussed a few well known constellations.

I can tell that Tom loves taking in this information. He understands it, and he is genuinely interested in it. The only difference that I can see between this and his schoolwork, is that I actively try to explain things in a way that makes them interesting and fun. Even the small bits of homework I do with Tom are always done with some energy.

And so, I have one more small piece of information to pass on to this fine young student.

Syzygy: It's a lovely word, and it's mainly used in astronomy or astrology. When three celestial bodies align themselves. Take the eclipse, for example..... The moon, the earth, and the sun are all directly in a straight line. That, right there, is syzygy my friend!!

Ok, enough of me lecturing the poor lad..... Concentrate, stop pissing about in class, stop being distracted, stop distracting others, stop sulking, start reading more, start writing more!!!

And so, onto my pictures..... it was very difficult with my limited experience and equipment to make any good pictures of last night's eclipse...... but here are the ones that I did manage to take!!





Here are two great websites for Tom.

All about stars!

More Stars.

Washout.

I am decidedly downtrodden today.

We went out last night. It was a kind of colleague reunion thing, and we went for drinks in Huddersfield.

A good night, up until the group got split up and we made a decidedly premature exit from a club in town, where my bloody fave DJ was working his cheesy house stuff.

I never really got a chance to have a good dance and get it all out of my system. Disappointing.

Came home and cooked omelets and made cups of tea instead!!

Managed maybe three or four hours sleep, and am paying the price for it now.

This morning I called round to see Riv, Jemma and baby Caitlyn.... Pleased to say they are all doing well. I even managed to have a little hold of Caitlyn while Riv was making some drinks - I do not normally do baby stuff because they scare me!! They're too small and I don't understand them, but she seemed pleased enough to be wandering round the room and looking out of the window.

Tried to watch a bit of telly this aft, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.... Nor could I properly focus my attention, and more importantly my fingers, on Guitar Hero.

Am just pondering what the options for this evening might be. Lunar eclipse tonight, and I don't want to miss it.

So, in summary, I am well washed out, and need some "r" and "r" time.

Bollocks!

Enough of me ranting and wailing in my own personal life of hell....

Oh, go on then, you've twisted me arm!! Just one more!!

Dishwashers..... bloody great, they are!!

Until they're not.

For some reason my dishwasher has decided to play mind games with me.

It will quite happily fill up with water, but then refuses to dispose of it.

The annoyance factor of this, is obviously, each time I think I may have cleaned or changed or unkinked something, it takes thirty minutes or so to prove that I am of course wrong. Then, to add extra insult to my injury, I have to manually empty the water, and try everything again.

In this consumer age, I am now thinking it would be easier to buy a new dishwasher than to call someone out to either clean, or replace the bloody pump - which I am assuming is royally rogered.

The prospect of washing the dishes by hand is just TOO much!!

In other news.... my pizza episode has finally been resolved, and I received a cheque from the offending company, for the princely sum of five British pounds!! Wahey for complaining. If I keep this up, maybe I could retire?

Now, where's the bloody Indesit website??

Left....

to my own devices.....

It's been an emotional roller-coaster of a week. I'm not going to recap, because you can get the flavour by reading the earlier posts, stupid!!

My cousin, Sophia, breezed back into my life, on a cloud of clove scented air. We met 'neath the Harold Wilson statue after some 30 years of absence.

I was hoping everything would be good between us, and that we'd get along during the week long visit. I don't think either of us was disappointed.

We've had a blast.

Done a bit of shopping; Ate a bit of food; Some Jammie Dodgers; Talked; Walked; Ridden; Had late nights; Watched the birds; Watched League of Gentlemen; Listened to Radio 4; Drunk tea and coffee as though it might go out of fashion; Moonwatched; Smoked; Rapped; Played awesome guitar; Made video; Took pictures; Exchanged cards.

And now, as Soph has begun her journey home, and I am back in the lounge, surrounded by plastic guitars, and my customary overflowing ashtray, the house has most definitely sobered. The "ambiance" is noticeably darker, and colder.

Sure, it's always nice to catch up with a relative, to banish the "bad relative" demons once in a while. I don't remember ever having the privilege of such a great opportunity to catch up, in as relaxed and informal manner that we have managed.

The experience has left me with the feeling that I am the one that's been on a holiday somewhere, and returned home with renewed vigour, and am able to see things through a fresh set of eyes.

And so, cousin Soph, convey my love and regards to all the family out the in Canadia!! Keep on struttin'!!

Farewell (for now), bon voyage, au revoir..... I know I will see you sooner than you would probably like!! Haha

Everybody says shes lookin' good
And the lady knows its understood
Strutter

Tribute.

Ok, so I haven't had time to make a post for a while.

My cousin Sophia has been over for a few days now, and I am trying my best to keep her amused - I can only imagine, this is with mixed results!!

We've had my cousin Dan's funeral now, and without trying to explain the pain and tears, and stranger noises that welled up and poured out of me, I thought it more appropriate to just pay this small tribute to a big man!

SoHo and Fox's tribute!

Sidetracked.

It's not often I get sidetracked into something else.... Ok..... let's start again....

I am always sidetracked onto something else.

My current fixation is Flickr.

I have been beavering away, squirreling photos, and updating the titles, descriptions, tags, and geo-tags.

So far I've uploaded about a hundred of (I won't say good, because they are not) my more memorable photographs.

I have to be careful not to turn this into an out-and-out advert blog, but I am loving it!!

Go, take a look, leave a comment, view the sets, explore, have fun, see what you think.

Arctic Fox's Flickr pad!

Hello darlings.

Cast your mind back. Back to posssibly November 2006. You there yet? Good.

I was sitting at work, wondering what to do. I had been politely asked not to play motorcross games all day. I read, somewhere, that "The Producers" was about to start its national tour, and that Peter Kaye was to be included in the cast.

I lokked further into it, and found that the first night of this tour, would be in Manchester on February the nineteenth, and yes, Peter Kaye would be playing the character of Roger DeBris.

I booked the tickets, and kind of forgot about it.

I can't believe how quickly the nineteenth of February came around.

So, last night, was a trip into Manchester, to see Mel Brooks' classic musical romping comedy at the Palace Theatre.

How was it? Marvellous, darling. Simply marvellous.

If, seeing Peter Kaye, dressed as either a woman resembling the chrysler building, or as a camp german dictator, would tickle your fancy, then you can't really go wrong.

I was a quite outstanding theatrical performance.

The highlights for me, were the number of people who had obviously never been to a theatre before, and obviously were only going now, to satisfy their Peter Kaye curiosities.

1) A couple who dressed as if they go to a theatre every night of the week, but who obvisouly had no concept of how "seating" works - thereby, to reach their aisle seats, they promptly joined at the opposite aisle and stumbled across the entire row's feet to reach them. They both looked a little embarrassed when they took their aisle seats!!

2) The couple who were seated next to us, actually asked Dawn if the whole thing had finished, as we got up during the intermission!!! I don't think they got it!!

All in all, a fantastical, musical, colourful, extravaganza, of epic proportions. You could certainly do worse.

Pizza.

I fancied pizza for lunch. I went to the freezer to dig one out.... ok, I know this isn't good, but it gets better.

What greeted me, upon opening the pizza box, was nothing short of tragic. I leave you with my letter to Stateside Foods!!!

Hello, I have bought two of your pizzas, in a twin pack. I don't remember where they were bought, either from Asda or Morrisons. They have been in the freezer for a while so I am completely unsure about when they were purchased, but the box clearly states - new improved recipe!!!!

I am enclosing a photograph of your pizza, which is, as we speak, sitting in my wheelie bin!

At first, I thought the pizza had become defrosted somewhere along the line, and the topping had slid across, but on closer inspection it is clear, that half of the pizza has NEVER had tomato sauce on it, and the half that has tomato on has all run over the edge.

The cheese "lump" is one of the oddest things I have witnessed from a frozen pizza.

I have to question your quality checking process, as anyone with a working pair of eyes can see, this recipe is clearly NOT improved. If this is indeed improved, then I can only thank my lucky stars that I had not previously purchased your products, and will certainly think twice before buying them again.

Thank you for your kind attention.

There may well be, not one, but two morals to this tale:

1) Don't buy Stateside Foods products!

2) Don't piss off a blogger!!

Chores.

On the seventh day, God rested. I didn't, and Dawn certainly didn't.

In preparation for the arrival of my cousin, Sophia, this week, Dawn saw fit to completely tidy my house. I kept out of the way, and was allowed no distraction from my never ending stack of paperwork.

Like a tasmanian whirling devlishly dervish, armed with vacuum cleaner and all manner of things, for which I do not know the names, she swept, vacced, tidied, and generally spun round with aplomb.

I played house music, and danced round the bedroom, whilst scanning various documents. As per usual, I have done everything I needed to do, and absolutely no more. Dawn's efforts are infinitely more visible, complete, and appreciated.

To celebrate the industrious outburst, I paid the only way I know how, by creating a plate of creamed mushrooms on toast. Laced with black pepper, and cooked to perfection, an excellent repast.

I constantly marvel at Dawn's selfless, giving nature. As we say in Yorkshire: "She's a grand lass!". I certainly don't know what I would do without her!!

Breath of fresh air.

It's been one of the most difficult weeks I can remember. I feel stifled and claustrophobic.

All hail the lovely Dawn, and her suggestion that we go for a walk today. I knew just the place I wanted to be. We drove out to Deer Hill, which is a little wild place on the moors above Marsden and Meltham.

We walked. At parts, in the cold, biting wind, with tears streaming down my face, or with a warm sun shining on my back. Fresh air, and space, clearing the cobwebs.

We crouched behind a wall and drank coffee with brandy in it.

A lovely walk. A pint on the way home. I cooked a late lunch/early tea.

Enjoy the photos.

Alternatively, you might like to head on over to Flickr, where I am starting to store my pics - here's my album so far.

Fade to grey.

It's starting to feel more like November now, than the glimpses of spring that prematurely erupted a week or two ago.

The weather fits my mood, and I no longer open the curtains or blinds. The artificial, man made, controllable lights are my preference.

I have a strong hankering to start a marine aquarium just now.

Today I refilled the bird feeders.

The last week or so, I have had a blackbird that is flapping against my kitchen windows. It's spooky and strange to see her bouncing off the glass, and pecking, as if attracted by something inside. Hitchcockesque indeed. Each day she returns, and each evening disappears.

Am struggling to raise enthusiasm for Pogo badges this week, which comes as no great surprise. I did manage to get my cousin Tom on there this morning though, and I would love to think he might use it more in the future, and come and say "hello".

I am not enjoying seeing my thoughts of cousin Dan slowly shifting down my web page. It's indicative that time marches relentlessly on, even if I can not manage to do so at the same pace. Another interesting blog side effect. The blog waits for no man.

I am sending thoughts, and love, in the direction of my Aunty Janet, Uncle Dave, Jo, and Tom. I wish I could do more.

Anyhow, as all blogs should end, I am taking a young lad to buy socks......

?

Dark days.

I've had a few VERY dark days lately. Even the weather is running parallel to my somberness. Waves of rain, of wind, of greyness, broken only by happier moments of sunshine. Tears and laughter, seemingly unprovoked to the casual observer.

Focus.

Nothing on earth can focus your mind like the events of this week. Finally, I am starting to find my silver lining.

I am most thankful to have shared times with Dan. Some most excellent formative years. I have even remembered our strongest bond, the possible topic of conversation on the beach at St. Cyrus.

Black sheep.

Both myself and Dan were undoubtedly our family's black sheep. If anyone could drag the family name through any mud at a given moment's notice, then it was the pair of us. We both took great joy in connecting over this. Two's company!! Forged in fire!!

I always admired the sense of family that Dan possessed. In fact, all three of my northern cousins have something that I have never innately possessed in that respect. It's something I am trying to work on, and have been trying for some time.

This week has been surreal in that I have had conversations and almost daily contact with family. The events that have drawn us together are neither desirable nor pleasant, but this for me is absolutely a good thing. I am sure Dan would approve of bringing the family together.

Last night I went to the pub. I raised my glass to my cousin, and drank some foaming Guinness. The next one was for the rest of my family. It helped in a small way, and finally, in bed, my mind was silent.

I'm not sure who I am writing my blog for anymore. Two cousins, yesterday, stopped by and commented. I hope they approve of the words that I write. Most importantly it's an important process for me.

Dan.

On Monday morning, I was shocked into the day with news that my cousin couldn't be woken.

Dan's been suffering with MS for a couple of years, and there is not a soul on earth who hasn't been shocked by the aggressive nature of it.

By the end of the day, Dan was gone.

It's only right that I recall great times with the little pothead, that I have been proud to call my cousin for thirty three years.

I see Dan grinning his toothy smile as a young teenager, with a white Dunlop t-shirt, smeared in strawberry juice from the farm where we had been picking.

I hear Dan's fantastically loud infectious laugh.

Hours of inane MSN messenger chatter.

I see him grinning, with a joystick in his hand, playing SSX on the playstation. Concentrating on busting moves. I'd driven down to Leicester to drop off some dope.

I remember the family shock when Dan burned a huge pile of hay in a farmer's field in Johnshaven, Scotland.

When I learned to ride a bike - it was Dan's bike. A purple Raleigh Budgie, with fat tyres, and easy rider handlebars.

On the subject of bikes - Dan rode his into the corner of a house!!

Arbroath in Scotland, the amusements (the "switchies" as they were known). We all loved to go there. The "king kong" machine in Montrose. The sand dunes.

I walked the sandy beach at low tide with Dan at St. Cyrus in Scotland. We smoked a spliff, and walked and talked. I can still see the ripples on the sand, and the wooden boards that led there. I don't remember what we talked about, but I know it rained.

The memories are choking in my throat and in my eyes.

I had a great affinity with Dan, we had many things in common. He was the most mild mannered, placid chap you would ever meet, and in a lot of ways I find that inspirational. I always had time for him, and don't ever recall us having a bad word.

I know we have some old Super 8 films, from those heady childhood days where we played in the sun. When the time is right, I promise myself to dig them out.

For now, my cousin, my friend..... simply....

GRATITUDE!

Monday 12th February 2007.

Here and now, is not the place to discuss today's events. I have tried to find a way to express myself, and sadly, I think I've failed. I simply wanted to leave something to mark today.

The ONLY thing I could come up with are some terrible words, comparable to Vogon poetry from the majestic "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy".

I tried to write words that would describe my dark mood,
But nothing I say can do justice when viewed.
Without being here, or sharing the feeling,
You'll only be guessing at what I'm concealing.
You don't have to read inbetween my short lines,
Don't look for my meaning or scan me for signs.
Life's simply unfair, that's as far as it goes,
And the key to it all, is right under your nose.
There's a much simpler answer, than just "forty-two",
If you take care of me, I will take care of you.

Kill the pig..........

Despite my attempts at gardening earlier this week, my total output has been zero.

I am falling into a kind of feral existence. Most days I am to be found with charcoal smudged across my face, whooping, and dancing around the house in a loincloth and feathered head-dress.

With no rules, nor structure, and no boundaries, my house and state of mind are falling into disrepair at equally alarming rates. I know this should concern me.... it simply doesn't.

I am finally following my own advice, casting aside my clothing, and indeed running wild and free.

I can't help feeling guilty though. These times and this life may well be short, and I am sure there are countless others out there, with their noses pushed hard against an ever faster spinning grindstone, who may wish to experience the exhilaration of complete and utter abandon.

My ashtray is positively overflowing!!

I promised myself, that today I would tidy up. I promised myself I would not sit at the laptop all day playing hangman in a futile effort to chase more Pogo badges. Sweet irony of the forbidden fruits, finds me taking a short break from hangman to write a blog, in the true avoidance of aforementioned housework.

Paperwork is piling up around me, and inevitably, yet another month-end has passed me by without so much as a shred of accounting efficiency crossing my keyboard. The credit cards remain unpaid.

Even the offer of a potential job, that was proffered by a former colleague, has not woken me from my stasis.

I know it sounds gloomy. I know I should not be doing it.

My school reports always read: "Jason MUST try harder" - Who am I to prove them wrong?

Green grow the rushes.

Well, not much to report.

I have spent the last two days working in the garden.

Day 1 - Spent most of the day picking up sticks, and general detritus. Pulled up some dead conifers (I hate the living versions of these conifers, so there was much joy to be had in dispatching of dead ones). Filled a few bags of garden waste and took them to my mum's house, and engaged in the manly art of bonfiring.

Day 2 - Just light gardening duties, until I picked up the secateurs!! Within ten minutes of hacking with handheld artillery, I was calling for the big guns. Mum arrived with "loppers" and I was soon dervishly whirling an Edward Scissorhandsesque green typhoon of vegetation. I even got the saw out!! six bags of carnage later, my garden's now completely empty.

And so, with my newly created personal dustbowl, I am left with tattered tools of the trade - my hands! Scratches and scars adorn each digit, and my fingernails... well, let's not go there!!

On a positive note, it's been a delight to spend some time in my garden with my feathered friends. Normally, I watch the birds from behind two layers of glass, and they take flight at the mere sound of a turning doorhandle.

Over the past two days, they have come quite accustomed to my vomings and goings, and are now quite happy to sit within spitting distance of me while I work, or more commonly, smoke a well earned cigarette.

I recently put up a nestbox for the bluetits, and already there have been inquisitive singles, and couples enquiring about availability. Perhaps soon, I might be able to get some nice pics of these little critters too.

I'm disappointed that my stunning collection of minimalist photography, yesterday, yielded only one comment. Thanks Spice, I knew I could count on your opinion.

PS - I hope y'all like the Banjamin Zephaniah music I have provided!!

Oh, Jack of much frost.

The moors above Huddersfield are one of the most invigorating places I know. This morning, bathed in sunlight and frost, they drew me like a moth to a flame.

I can only intimate to you, what it is actually like out there. It's the most desolate windswept piece of land for miles around. Underneath the moorland is water. It's like a huge floating raft of reeds and peat.

In the wrong weather, these moors are not the place you want to be. It's cold and wet, and very inhospitable. Today is a different story.

The frost has crusted over the tufted ground. It's quite possible to walk in areas you would normally not want to go. I walked until, eventually, I sank.

Freezing purple hands, clutching metal tripod. I managed to snap a few pics, which I am pleased with. The colours are fantastic, but don't really do justice to the moorland, and its orange glow.

Sky and water are fantastic mirrors, and the ice formations were unreal.

Enjoy this selection from Cupwith (pronounced cup-earth to us locals) reservoir and surrounding area.

Sunday musings.

It's Sunday the 4th February. It must be like 14 degrees or higher in the garden. The sun is shining, and the sky is a watery wintery blue, with white winter sun.

The trees and bulbs are all sprouting their new shoots, and it's a confusing scene. This is February, and it feels like summer. The birds are already pairing up and nesting, and there are insects flying about outside. This is all about one or two months premature, but you will not hear me complain.

I don't need to hark on about holes in the ozone layer, or melting ice caps, or global warming. The evidence for all these things is as plain as the nose on my face. The intersting aspect of this, is merely that, this week, it is finally official - Humans are to blame!!

Well, stone the crows, I could have told you that for a lot less than the IPCC charged to write their document. Personally I am chagrined with the whole debate, and the issue of whether it is a scientific problem or a political one.

Perhaps we should just accept it, drive hungrier cars, and just wear less clothing? Maybe the "oil" nations of the future will be the ones who can manufacture the highest sun protection factor oils? Maybe somewhere under the oceans there are vast quantities of factor eighty "Piz Buin" just waiting to be tapped?

All that being said, I must admit to having bought strawberries, yesterday, whose country of origin was Morocco. Think about it!!

It's a quiet day today. Dawn's gone off to the NEC in Birmingham for some sort of "buying" trip with her work. My mum wanted to go to a garden centre, but decided not to. I am enjoying the peace and quiet, but missing being with Dawn.

For some strange reason today, I have Newfoundland on my mind. I've been told it's a good place, and one that warrants further investigation. Perhaps I will look some stuff up when I have finished this blog? More likely I will go and play Age of Empires. I bet you didn't see that one coming?

I've been cooking up a storm lately. Last night I made: Spinach, rocket, and watercress soup.... Low fat fish and chips, and a kiwi fruit granita for desert.... very nice.

I think this week, I might start to be more productive around the house and try to tidy up the junk piles. Let's call it a premature spring clean!!

Off the radar.

Ok, so I've been neglecting my blog. It's not uncommon, I know. I am a lazy person in most aspects of my life.

So, you might wonder what marvelous and exciting things I've been up to. Truth is, I am struggling to even find material for a new blog entry.

One particular item of note, was a visit to a restaurant in Hebden Bridge (or Herb-den Bridge as it is sometimes referred to by those in the know). The restaurant is a vegetarian venture, which is set up in a sort of "centre" - well I can't explain it, but you can read about it here if you so wish.

The visit to the restaurant - called "laughing Gravy" which is the name of the dog in the Laurel and Hardy film of the same name. - was one of the most enjoyable and unexpected meals I have eaten in a long while.

Unlike "normal" restaurants, this one only runs a single sitting at 8pm. We were greeted and seated, and presented with a menu, from which you don't order anything. You are fed the entire menu, consisting of a selection of four starter dishes, four main course dishes, and three deserts. Sure, there's only a small portion of each item, but it lets you taste everything on offer. Very different.

I heartily recommend to anyone that gets the chance, that they should do so without delay.

In other news....

I managed to take part in the RSPB's Big Garden Birdwatch on Saturday. This entails an hour of effort, in watching the birds that come to the garden, and recording the maximum number of each species that is present at any one given moment. Nobody told the birds about it, and my tally was unusually poor. Such is life. (in case anyone was remotely interested: 1 Dunnock; 2 Robins; 3 Bluetits; 1 Coaltit; 1 Starling; 1 Magpie; 1 Wren; 5 Goldfinch; 1 Blackbird).

I am playing lots and lots of Age of Empires 3 - with the War Chiefs expansion pack bolted on. I can't put it down. I don't know how I ever found time to work. Inbetween bouts of Empires, or when I am too badly beaten to stomach any more, I am hammering Pogo for all it's worth.

Celebrity Big Brother has finished, and the usual bunch of suspects have had death threats, their careers ruined, and have generally been media-savaged. There have been a couple of winners though, and the Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty is probably going to make a whole heap of money out of it. Unlike Jade Goody, or Jo O'Meara!!

Oh, well, that just about wraps up a few days of doing nothing. See you in a while.

Oh happy day.

I've had a great day. I am in such a good mood.

Counting backwards, the day started like so many others.

Got up at around eight(ish), coffee, and a cigarette (champions breakfast).

De-iced the car, and was knocking on the door of my mum's house by nine.

Spent an hour or so with mum and Fred. More coffee and cigs.

Went shopping (Yes Spice, you're so right.... I love the shopping - I could only ever envisage a Reggie Perrinesque Grot shop as my vocation though). Bought the stuff I needed for lunch.

Came home and prepared a wonderfully hearty leek and potato soup, with low fat creme fraiche, crispy fried shallots, chives, and lovely crusty rolls from the shop.

Fed the birds a bit, and marvelled at the assortment that currently reside in my sunny, but distinctly frost-bitten garden. Tried to clean the windows, but gave up.

My friend Emma came round for lunch, and we played monopoly, and ate lollies. I lost the game so badly it was untrue. If you ever play monopoly, then you will surely know what it's like when, no matter how hard you try, you can never get past "GO".

Mum and Fred called in for a bowl of my delicious soup, on their way back from an art demonstration, and their tangles with the reflexologist.

Then, whilst playing Age of Empires some more, I baked some gorgeous "low fat" chocolate brownies for the lovely Dawn, who has lost 3 pounds since starting her "new year" diet recently. Well done love.

While the brownies cooled, more Age of Empires, now it's time for a shower, and I am heading out.

Oh, and to end my ace day, it's snowing too.... fantastic!! Days like this don't come too often.

For Fox sake.

Drinking last night... paying the price today.

It's a little before 5pm when I have finally sat down to the computer.

Woken at 8:30am by Connor requesting Xbox time. Not the ideal start. Hungover, probably still drunk, still smelling of Subway sandwich and pickled chillies. Unable to resume sleep.

Got up... felt bad.

Dropped The Kirsty at work, and Dawn in town to collect her car from last evening's revelry.

Flashes of the evening before slowly coming back. Too many long island iced teas. A light layer of snow on the cars when we got home. A conversation, in Subway, which made me laugh:

Me (in boisterous mood) addressing the bemused young sandwich attendant: "Now then, what particular vegetarian delight can you tempt me with this evening?"
Vacant faced employee: "veggie delite?"
Me: "Ah yes, of course!!"

I had answered my own question I guess.

Anyway, we had to take Tom shopping for a winter coat that he can wear, for walking to school and such. He is a hard customer to please, and I previously documented his search for trainers. Tom only wears sports clothes. He won't wear the wrong labels, or anything vaguely "unsporty", like jeans for instance.

We opted for a retail outlet village, as there were a fair number of shops that should stock a could for this discerning bargain hunter. Primarily, there's a Nike shop there, and it would seem sensible that this shop should yield fruit of a sensibly warm and weatherproofed variety.

Cutting the long story short here.... First shop, first coat, finally purchased after three hours and two full circuits of the entire retail park. I still feel like death. Thankfully it came cold enough during our second circuit, that Tom's hand was forced, and he needed to get warm. Result.

Now I am home. It's finally started snowing. Our first snow of the winter, and the robin in my garden is gorging itself and singing merrily. The house is warm, the snooker final is on telly, and I lie on the floor, drifting in and out of dreamy consciousness. Bliss.

Take two.

For some reason, Adobe Acrobat just mangles my laptop. Reading a pdf document half way through a blog, is a sure-fire recipe for frustration.

..... lost blog from memory .....

Coco-nut.

I am sitting at the kitchen table, clutching half a coconut, and typing my blog. One hand for each operation, and alternate bites and blogging.

I don't particularly enjoy the sensation of eating a coconut, but I do love the taste. The texture of coconut appeals to my bizarre taste, in the same way I might apply something metallic to a filling in my tooth, or putting my tongue across a nine volt battery's terminals. You know it's not nice, and you know you shouldn't be intrigued in the slightest...... but I do it all the same.

.... in comes Dawn.....

.... I start to read a pdf document.....

.... the laptop crashes.....

.... I hop around the kitchen, speaking in tongues.....

.... the blog is gone.... gone forever.....

Poor li'l Dawn. Tom and Connor are playing up. She picked up her keys and stormed out, leaving crying children standing in the road. It sounds harsh when written as such, but what lesson will they have learned by this? Forgotten in an instant I would imagine.

So, where was I? Where am I?

Oh, yes.

Today, as a result of the raging storms and one hundred mile an hour winds, we have been left without electrickery for a few hours.

Like any good drug dealer, the electrickery companies have managed to get us all juiced up. We have a myriad of "labour saving" equipment, and entertainment systems, and appliances that we rely on.

One "blip" and I am left without heating, lighting, internet (even though the laptop runs on its own battery), cooker, fridge, freezer, hot water.

It's amazing how much you rely on something, like a nice clean supply. You never know how much you rely on it, or how it gets you through the day, until it's taken away from you.

Here endeth the first lesson.

An inequation.

Now that I don't work any more, and have every day to do as I wish, you would imagine that all those niggling little things that I never got time to do before would be well and truly sorted.

The truth is, the less I have to do, the less I actually do.

I know I should book my car in for a service and an MOT but I just can't make it to the phone and make the call. I know I should finalise my bits of paperwork and filing, but it's much easier to take on Queen Elizabeth in Age of Empires. I know I should, not only tidy, but refurbish my house, but there are so many badges on Pogo that require immediate attention.

It's a very vicious circle that I find myself in. The very fact that I am writing a blog entry about this, is the product of procrastination plus a brief spell of Pogo downtime.

When I am not playing something on a computer somewhere, I am slaving over a hot stove, indulging in my next best entertainment - cooking. I can't even begin to express my dissatisfaction at the increase in the number of cigarettes that I now smoke daily.

When I have filled my pipe with battles of old and Pogo badges, and my belly is full, I might even watch a film, or two, or three.

Now, while all this seems highly disappointing, and I am actually doing nothing of any intrinsic value, it has to be said... I am truly feeding my soul. I am doing the things that I LOVE doing. Of course it's all futile. It won't get the roof rebuilt, or the gutters mended, or the car serviced. I WILL, at the end of each day, rue the passing of another office opening time, and realise that it's now too late to make those calls. But, at the time, I am having SO much fun.

Guilty pleasures.

My only regret is that the true enjoyment I have can never be translated into cash, money, dollars. It's a shame.

But now, I must say goodbye, as Pogo is back online, and those bloody jigsaws won't complete themselves... will they?

Florence Bleeding Nightinfox....

First was Tom's flu.... Copious amounts of Mario and sofa time. Next was Kirsty's turn, and like all women, she breezed through her go, with neither complaint nor demand. Today is Connor's turn to swing the "sniffles" lead.

I do realise, that some may have misread my previous post and thought I had a new girlfriend, but these three are the children of the lovely Dawn, who is my current partner.

I mentioned, back at the beginning of the new year, that the new broom was about to sweep clean. Being able to mention these people is part of it.

Having ended my long-term relationship earlier last year, it has been difficult to try to explain this through the blog, mainly because you never know who is lurking!!

Now, I am happy to announce that I feel the time is right, that I can introduce the new players in the pageant, that I laughingly refer to as "my life".

First is Connor - He is the youngest (just 9 years old). He is a raging torrent of energy, filled brimful of Simpsons and Star Wars. I try to steer Connor away from sugar where possible!!

Second is Tom - Like Malcolm, he's in the middle. Aged 14 and Nintendo crazed as I was at that age. If there were exams in Mario and wall-jumping, then he'd have a degree by now. If he could translate his aptitude for procrastination into homework, then he'd be a genius!

Top of the pile is THE Kirsty. She's a student of beauty in Huddersfield, aged 17. I gather that studying beauty amounts to buying lots of magazines, and inflicting pain on particularly hairy women.

One rung down, there are the animals - There's Stevie the wonder dog, who loves chewing on socks. There's a rabbit and 2 guinea pigs (unless I am mistaken). There's also a veteran cat, called Rosie. Oftentimes, I am found outside their house smoking a cig, shouting "Rosie" into the night like Humph in African Queen.

Last, but by no means least, there's Dawn. My partner. She's a strong woman (bringing this tribe up on your own would do that to anyone!!) who has enough get-up-and-go for the both of us.

And so, my blogging moves forward. The actors are introduced. I can now write freely about them without having to code or hide anything from anyone.

Dawn and The Kirsty both read my blog, so I better be nice about them, otherwise I will be sleeping in with the rabbit!!

A new dawn has truly begun.

Nothing...

Nothing to blog about, nothing to say. I am totally immersed in a wave of complete and utter unimportance.

It's sort of relaxing in a strange way.

Even Celebrity Big Brother has, thus far, not even raised a slight amount of interest from me.

I guess this is the lull AFTER the storm of christmas and new year.

One interesting fact that was drawn to my attention recently, was that the supermarket where I shop, took half a million quid on the Friday before christmas. If proof were ever needed that the true spirit of christmas was lost in consumerist gluttony, then surely this is the dipstick you needed.

Humbug, humbug, and thrice humbug.

Today I have been mostly looking after poorly Kirsty. I say "looking after" which amounts to me doing my paperwork in my bedroom while Kirsty sniffled and snooked her way through some college work. All I did was make some lunch. There's been a lot of poorly people this last few weeks.

I really must drag myself out of this apathy.

Indecision....

... clouds my vision!

Well, as you can imagine.... Yesterday I was deliberating over whether to have a shower first, or a cup of coffee. I finally decided to have a shower, but couldn't decide whether to put the kettle on before, or after said ablution.

In the end, I played more "Age of Empires" and had a Coke Zero, and watched the start of Celebrity Big Brother.

I shoulda had the coffee instead.

Today was a day of, not my indecision, but that of a teenager, whom I escorted around a veritable glut of sports shops in search of new trainers.

It began simply enough, but soon sank to levels of: "If they did these with laces instead of velcro fasteners, then I would buy them" or "If they did these in black instead of white, then I would buy them". A seemingly endless search with nonplussed teenager for a pair of trainers that haven't even made it onto a design sheet yet.

The irony of the search, was that the first pair of trainers that were tried on, but in the last shop we visited, were purchased. I think in polite circles, they might call this Murphy's Law. I, on the other hand would call it something quite different and wholly unsuitable for my readers' ears.

Seems it isn't just me that has difficulty over trivial decision. In fact, I know this shopping experience to be very common. The bit inbetween the first item you see and buying that same item a few hours later is why shopping, is called shopping. It's a process of confirming that your first instinct was in fact correct.

We had lunch.... We looked in a few games shops, and I still can't find a Nintendo Wii (pronouced wheeeeee!!!) to buy anywhere. They always had some in yesterday, and of course these are all sold, and they have no idea when any more will be arriving. Nintendo have truly Wii'ed on my bonfire this year!

Time for me to start the new year with new music and a new poll.... heads up!!

Ticking....

Another day draws to a close. A day like any other day. A jobless day. A day of television, of games, of films, of cheese and crackers.

What makes today different and notable, is once again, my nemesis, and closest friend, the full moon has risen over the horizon. The first full moon of a new year. I both love and loathe it in equal measure. The unpredictability it heralds can go anywhere.

Strange things.... coupled with the fact that I have watched the "The Butterfly Effect" today, and I am currently watching canibalistic humboldt squid being observed by a free diver..... I am already in a strange mood.

I think I need a shower and some coffee, but can't decide in which order.

Cher: Trauma Centre (Under the knife) is a great game, that utilises the DS touch screen brilliantly. It's very addictive when you start, but soon becomes seemingly impossible. If you don't give up easily, and are prepared to really dedicate a bit of time to it, then I can't recommend it enough. Personally, I am still struggling with finishing Mario off.

Ahm: As always, I love it when you come around and comment on my blog. It's great to get some positive feedback about what I love doing.... just writing..... noodling with words!!

And so, as the giant squid fade from my television screen, and they are replaced with strong men carrying cannonballs in china. I decide shower comes first. Should I put the kettle on before I get in the shower?

I used to be a werewolf, but I'm alright no-OOOOO-ow

First footing.....

An age old ritual of being a dark haired man, armed with a lump of coal, being the first person to pass over the threshold, was partially observed in this wet and windy corner of Yorkshire at least.

It's supposed to bring good luck.

I am feeling quite retrospective writing this blog entry. I guess it's something similar to the "glass is half full, or is it half empty" scenario - Should I look back retrospectively at the new year, or should I simply look forward? Surely, in order to learn, and to grow as a human being, an element of postmortem is essential... at least at some point in life, and often afterwards too.

So, what did 2006 give to me? What have I learnt?

Where to start?

Looking back 12 months, I could simply not have envisaged the year ahead, not even in my wildest dreams, and at points worst nightmares.

Summary: I have ended a 17 year relationship. Started a new relationship. Moved out of my house into Playboy Mansions, moved back into my house again. I've worked hard, bloody hard at times. I've played, bloody ridiculously hard at times. Nintendo DS has entered my life. I've been to a few all-nighters, and been to a few more dance events than I have in previous years - with renewed vigour and zest. I've done some paperwork.

Conclusion: Have I grown? Have I learned? Have I actually advanced along the zen-like path of life and fulfillment? Well, yes, I actually believe I am a better person at the start of this year than I was at the start of last. I've lost an element of complacency that I once had. Things are more serious now, and the lighter aspects of life are much lighter now.

2006 won't actually go down as one of the best years of my life. I've had lots to worry about, and lots of work to do. It will, however, go down as a productive year for me. I have instigated change in my life. I've bought a new broom, and it's started to sweep clean.

Happy New Year to all readers and bloggers. I hope you have everything your heart desires in 2007.

Fave Blogs

I still read:

Yorkshire Pudding

She who seeks

Drifting through life

sccolections

Billions of Versions of Normal

North Stoke

A Yorkshire Memoir

Finding life hard?

Linda's relaxing lair

Going gently

To baldly go

I fell out of love (or they don't work no more):

eye candy
Lights out for darker skies
Aaron
KJ
Now Haiku
Supermum
Rol Hirst
Kenny
C.V.C.
Sophia
Spice the Cat!
Sandi
Kristiine
Auntie Jen
Worcester Dan
Cher
Katt
Emma
Object Matrix
Darts Guru Greig

Retired faves
FoX (Deceased)
TRA
Marissa
Bootjockey
Kevski
Regan
Tiffany
Jay

New List of actual working blogs that I read.....
Sunset over Slawit
Yorkshire Pudding