More of the same.

Sunday searches start here.....

I could go on, at great length, about the fact that my bowling cam is up and running again.  I could tell you how I was on the verge of going up into the loft to look for my webcam when I found it in a packing crate on my desk, just in the nick of time....  but I won't!

Where does the Arctic fox live

Apart from the lovely capitalisation contained within this particular search..... the answer is, of couse, glaringly obvious.... the Arctic you numbskull.

SKYMAN Bernard Kops

An old favourite of mine from my O level English Literature classes, was this crazy little poem, that goes a little something like this.....

My God I'm dead--
the young man said
when he saw his battered head
petalled on the crimson sand
--oh mother come and meet me now
and take my hand--
his body like a fountain played
along the empty esplanade
a coca-cola sign winked on
and when the moon came he was gone.

www.arctic fox.com

Oh where to begin??  Firstly, I have no idea why you would ever type a url into a search engine.  Secondly, I don't think a url should have a space in it..... so if you were looking for me.... you found me.... if you were looking for Arctic Fox cold weather products??.... it's over here - Instead of a space there's a hyphen in it...... i.e. arctic-fox.com

pete burns plastic surgery

The guy's had lots of it.... and I'm not really going to go into that.  Move along now.... nothing to see here!

www.articfox clothing.com

Oh no.... my pet hate..... first up, it's arCtic.... second up..... oh, it's you again isn't it from higher up this page..... typing urls into bloody search engines again......  there are no spaces in urls.....  if you want to search Google for "arCtic fox clothing" then that's all you have to type in, ok?  Well, me being generous and all, here's the link anyway!

Tinker.....

Tinker, tailor, soldier, procrastinator!

My car's broken......  not only is it broken, but the required part is not available until the seventeenth of July, and that's slightly over a month away..... when they said "one month next Sunday", I don't think anybody was laughing.

The particular part that's broken is a spring..... they make the wheels go up and down into the potholes that the council leave for us.

Now this spring is a special spring.....  you can only use a spring manufactured by the original car manufacturer because it's so rare that nobody else would want to make it.  The spring only fits my particular model and only those of that particular model that were made in that particular year!

It's a "one off" and I presume the original car manufacturer are manufacturing the part on that basis..... there is no stock of it.

So, I'm housebound..... which is less painful than it might originally sound in comparison to being egg-bound!

I'm wishing to be fishing!

So, I've spent a little bit of time getting back to my blogger template...... I've resurrected the "music player" featurette and also have paved the way for a future re-release of the ever popular "bowling cam" widget.... so keep your eyes peeled over on the right hand side of my page for when THAT goes live!

The "music player" function is a nice simple affair.... and I've (rather against my usual style) made sure that the player doesn't automatically start, which could result in heart failure for any number of blog visitors who have their sound turned up too high and have yet to be notified.... and it shouldn't piss you off too much because now YOU.... yes YOU....  You sat there in your vest and pants, slobbering your cornflakes all over the keyboard...... can start and stop the music at will...... I will probably change the tune weekly or so, in order to give you a chance to have a listen should you so wish.  If you look on the right hand side under the "bowling cam" there's a little arrow.... if you click that it will play some music.... if you click it again it won't play some music....  even YOU can manage that!

* [edit] - Apologies to those of a nervous disposition for my first choice of "music" - it sums up my dark mood and reminds me that if Armageddon were coming down the road, it would be accompanied by this excellent track..... one of the best gigs I ever went to blah blah blah.....
** [edit] - Cheryl Cole has now replaced my music of choice!  Blame Yorkshire Pudding for that one!

Bowling cam is another matter all together!

I've lost both of my webcams!  As soon as I find one of them, OR as soon as I find a really cheap, nasty, horrible, low quality piece of plastic that purports to be a webcam..... it will be up and running.

To make these little doo-hickeys do what they're intended to do..... I've had to install my own little web server..... so the stuff you'll see is actually coming to you live(ish) and sort of directly from the computer in my bedroom..... and of course if you're not seeing or hearing anything, then I've switched my computer off or my house has burnt down and you should call for a fire brigade or something......

And so, this merely proves that point that..... 

"one man's car part is another man's web server" - (Confucius)

Top ten - Sweets!

I make no bones about it... I am quite partial to sweets.

Ever since I stopped smoking it seems I've developed a bit of a sweet tooth.

And so I eat sweets......  Not the sweets as in Desserts, but sweets as in the ones you would find in your local shop's "penny tray" - Anyone remember "penny trays"?

Anyway, here, for the record, is a run down of my top ten sweets (which of course I couldn't do without acknowledging two people first - Rol for the inspirational top tens he produces and my Grandma who had a shop when I was a kid and she always had some "chocolate chewing nuts" or something to hand!!)

Ok, formalities done.... on with the countdown!

10 - Space Dust - Call it what you will: Pop Rocks; Moon Candy; Space Dust..... it's that sherbetty stuff that's loaded with carbon dioxide and it fizzes and pops on your tongue.... crack-a-lacking!

9 - Aniseed Imperials - I like Mint Imperials and I also like Aniseed Balls, but which is better?  There's only one way to find out.... F.... wait, what happens if you combine the two?  Aniseed Imperials.... that's exactly what would happen, and I totally love them.  One of my favourite fishing sweets.  They're soft inside like a mint imperial and hard outside like an aniseed ball.... it's win win.... except for the teeth!

8 - Riley's Chocolate Toffee Rolls - As a kid these sweets were considered to be far too "grown up" but the toffee and dark chocolate combination has left a lasting impression on me.  There were other sweets I'd put in the "grown up" category that I wouldn't buy but Chocolate Toffee Rolls?  Get some in!  Nt made in Halifax any more and not made by Riley's but I bet these are just as good.

7 - Mints - Chewy, hard, extra strong, extra strong with a hint of chilli, polo, imperial..... I love 'em all.

6 - Sweet Cigarettes - Although the red tip and "cigarette" nomenclature were long since removed.... they're now known as "candy sticks" - they're still substitute fags for me.... and I love them - I'm even quite fond of the temporary superhero tattoo that comes in the packet with them.

5 - Old Jamaica - A real old barnstorming chocolate smash hit that went away and has come back again.  Sure it doesn't have the old orange packaging with the pirate ship at full sail on the front, but it's still as rum-and-raisiny as it ever was, and although I normally ONLY eat high quality chocolate, this one makes it in to my top ten.

4 - Marzipan - Little marzipan fruits (those camp christmassy gifts) or chocolate covered slabs of the stuff..... we love a bit of marzipan!  Battenburg and Christmas cakes lathered with the stuff always get polished off with gusto.....  Get some Amaretto down you!!

3 - Coltsfoot Rock - We used to get these strange herbal sticks from the chemist.  I still love them.  They're such a strange thing, and when you eat them you can't help but imagine the machine that's extruding them, probably in mile long sections and then the blade that comes down and chops them before they set rock hard, with those fluted sides...... slurp!

2 - Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - Peanut butter?  And piss poor American chocolate??  WIN!  Salty and sweet and totally ace..... all lying there in their little paper cases just waiting to be scoffed...... drools!

1 - Liquorice - It's a smash hit at number one and it's a massive "catch all" - Black and White Mints; Liquorice Allsorts; Panda Liquorice Sticks; Cream Rock; Poor Bens; Catherine Wheels....... I love all things liquorice!  Probably with the exception of them horrible liquorice root things that you get that's like a bit of a twig that you chew until it falls into fibrous, stringy pieces in your mouth and leaves you gagging!

When no news isn't....

No news isn't necessarily good news.... but it's news nonetheless!  Or is it?

Ok so it's my usual Sunday cop out searches!

zarch archimede download

"Ere Wevz have you played Zarch on the Archimedes?"

"Ave I f@%£k"

So goes the infamous story of how a friend introduced me to a game that is largely, to the best of my recollection, a sort of version of Virus on the Atari ST, which I actually HAD played and would have illicited a much more friendly response.  So you want a rom of Zarch for the Archimedes do you?  Well look no further!  #in fairness it's a really difficult game to track down and I think this is largely down to the fact that the Archimedes has been relatively impossible to emulate??

artctic fox blog

Usually someone misses out the "C" in arCtic fox and spells it thusly.... "artic".... and THAT makes me angry, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!  In this instance, notable only by the fact that I've never seen this particular mistake in my search criteria before.... they've added an extra "T".... well, it's a new one on me... and rather strangely, despite the odd spelling, I do rank number one in Google's list given that particular search!!  So, rather than have to point someone in the right direction..... you've actually, despite your poor spelling, found the right place.... well done.... sort of!

 

white phase arctic fox

Blue in summer; White in winter.... that's the Arctic fox way of life.... it's all about the camouflage innit!

folk off 

Same to you with knobs on!

jimi hendrix long hair

Yes he did. So did Noel Redding!!

Salty slug racing on a boring rainy afternoon!  come on lane 2!!!!

Perhaps....

Watching the rain streaming down the windows in my lounge and the distorted image behind it.....

Harry Potter's later years in Lego Hogwarts, and my deftly flicking wand wiimote that conjures the "cruciatus curse" resulting in a cascade of multicoloured virtual bricks......

Playing gin rummy against a great-grandma from Georgia with Oklahoma rules in force......

Destroying my brain with a daily double dose of Big Brother entertainment shows.......

Car, half packed, ready for a fishing trip that has yet to materialise, weather too wet and too windy to make the effort......

Not one of these things makes for an interesting blog.... or at least I should say, not one of these things makes for an interesting blog Or a blog that I haven't written before!

In truth, I'm feeling far too flat and far too demotivated to summon up the energy.

Here's a link to the planning application for the destruction of Cupwith Reservoir - there's a prize for the first person who makes it through the "documents" section without falling asleep, and there's an additional award for the first person that can actually find out a valid reason for the reservoir being drained!

See: Previous blog about Cupwith & My Flickr Cupwith pictures.

Hiatus

Insert Big Brother sized pregnant blogging pause!

Normal service will be resumed as soon as I can tear myself away from the tellybox!

Let's not say goodbye

I've long been a fan, nay, a devotee of a local piece of water, known as Cupwith (which we locals pronounce cup-earth).  It's not a big piece of water and probably matters not to anyone but the wildlife and those of us who knew Cupwith as the boundary of our childhood territory.

Recently, for some unknown reason, somebody in their infinite wisdom deemed Cupwith a large enough body of water that it be officially classified and recognised as a "reservoir".

I am guessing that Cupwith's upgraded designation now means that the local water company and council have an added responsibility to push paper around on its behalf.  The long and short of this is that a friend recently pointed out to me that a planning notice had been issued to the effect that Cupwith is now to be drained off, finished, done away with.... it's about to become an ex-reservoir!!  Health and safety gone crackers!

Of course, the closing date for objections to this planning proposal has long since expired and as such we have simply to sit back and watch this majestic piece of water turn into a muddy "puddle".

Anyway, in a fitting tribute, I've been up to cup-earth and took a few photographs.... you can see them here!

Oh Cupwith, this isn't goodbye, it's merely au reservoir!

Saturated....

It's just another rainy Sunday.... warm, but boy, is it wet?

Went out walking yesterday and the weather was decidedly "muggy" so I'm quite glad that this rain will be clearing the air.  It started raining towards the end of our "abbreviated" walk, and it's been raining since....  the bowling green out back is completely waterlogged.... the golf course, through which I have just besoddenly dragged a god dog was in danger of capsizing.

Bad day for outdoor sporting it would seem!

So, it's left to me to provide you all with a bit of an alternative to jubilee celebratory activity overloading yourselves, and I choose to do this by bringing to you (insert fanfare).....

Search Engine Sunday.......

to whistle

I'm making a massive assumption in this response, but..... You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.

arctic fox diagram of the ear

Surprisingly, there doesn't seem to be a decent diagram of an Arctic fox's ear.... anywhere in the known puniverse.... so for the benefit of science, I've taken it upon myself to create one for everyone to be able to refer back to, and here it is:

harry hill trombone solos

Oh, this old chestnut.....I used to own quite a few really good tunes with Harry Hill trombone solos in them, let me see if I can't find them.... (you have to pause, looking at this sentence for at least fifteen minutes to emulate the "real-time" aspect of me going off searching my library of files)...... (ok files found.... wait here fifteen minutes while I find out how to embed an mp3 into my blog - at which I will undoubtedly fail and link you to the zip file containing the trombone solo mp3 files)....Click this (you'll have to download the "harry hill" file from there and unzip the mp3 files and play them for yourselves)!

kia ora crow

Let's set the scene.... you're sat in the ABC cinema and you've just watched the Disney cartoon that was the prequel to the forthcoming main event of some such film as "The Cat From Outer Space" or "The Apple Dumpling Gang" and inbetween the two films you get chance to queue up down the steps to visit a vendor of intervalistic treats.  You might visit a lady with a badly illuminated tray who is selling tubs, or in the case of one Huddersfield cinema, they had a little kiosk that only lit up in the interval and was halfway down the right hand side of the cinema embedded in the wall....  Anyway.... during said interval, there would be a few adverts playing on the screen......

One of the adverts would be the "Pearl and Dean" advert ..... pa pa pa paaa pa pa pa pa PA puh paaaa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa paaaaaaaaaAAAA YEAH!

Another such advert would begin..... "Your projectionist tonight is Eric." etc...... and went on to urge us to buy Kia Ora

Anyhoo...... the Kia Ora brand eventually spilled out of cinemas and into our supermarkets... eventually being advertised on our tellyboxes, where there was obviously no reference to our projectionist, Eric.  So they had to make up a new face for Kia Ora and it ended up as this whole sketch with some kid, some crows and a dog.... now deemed officially racist (just read the youtube diatribe that accompanies the video), but I can't imagine anybody was offended at the time.... anyway, here's a link to the crows and here's a link to Eric (lest we forget!)

top 10 biscuits 2012

Would you "Adam and Eve" it.... Someone actually came looking for biscuits!  Well you may all be aware, or not if you were too lazy to read it earlier, that indeed, I DID produce an official and legally binding "top ten" of biscuits that not only spans the year of 2012, but any other year you'd care to imagine!  Here's that very article, which is, rather imaginatively entitled "Top 10 - Biscuits" - It's the hyphen that makes it so special!

On the other hand....

Been too busy with Ubuntu and walking to do any blogging.....  I am just going outside and may be some time!  So, let me leave you with this famous quote!

"The decay widths have higher-order perturbative QCD corrections, and these are particularly important for the  decay which dominates over a wide range of (light) Higgs masses. The main effect is to cause the quark mass to run from its "constituent quark" value at  to a lower value at ."

Slugs

The downside of this cooler, wetter weather.... is slugs an snails!

My garden is always full of those slimy critters.... it's a veritable mucussy Mecca!

Went fishing today.... and yes, it was drizzling when I got there.... it rained a little bit heavier whilst I set up my fishing tackle..... and by about five o clock this afternoon it had passed.

I'm not the only one that's been suffering in these balmy days and nights of recent summeriness.... the fish have started to expire in my local fishing pond.... last count they'd lost about forty fish in the last couple of days..... it's not a pretty sight..... and I can tell you the smell of putrefying fish is none too pleasant either.

So, this morning when I set my fishing gear up and my umbrella and accidentally sat on my favourite fishing reel.... managing to bend the bail arm and simultaneously putting a hole in my fishing seat.....

Slugs..... bloody everywhere..... they crawl on everything around me, and each time I pick something up I find I am left with a slug on my pants or my hands..... they're disgusting creatures.  I look down at my cup of coffee and there's a slug on the lip of the cup.....  every sip of coffee thereafter is taken very, very carefully, through a gritted teeth filter!

The umbrella attracts hordes of mosquitoes that like to shelter from the rain with me.... and believe me, you don't want to mess with a Brighouse mosquito.... they're voracious!  After the mozzies, come the midges.... and they just seem to overwhelm you not with their bites, so much as sheer numbers!!  After an hour or two of that my skin feels like it's crawling with them.  I can still feel them now.... I have mosquito and midge paranoia!

So.... you'd probably be imagining that, putting up with all that, the reward would be some fish?  you'd largely be wrong on that score!!  I managed just five fish today... a couple of carp, a couple of tench and a solitary bream.  My poor mate John had just one tiny roach!

Poor do!

What are slugs for?

Better....

"..... better get a bucket.... I'm gonna throw up!" - Mr. Creosote!

OK we've had some actually clouds today... white fluffy ones.... and later in the day..... big black ones.

The net result, we've even had an evening downpour.... heavenly.

Cooler temperatures.  Might even get a decent night's kip tonight.

I mowed my lawn.  I've even "strimmed" round the edge, revealing a small border wall, which Dawn never even knew existed.... It is a good few years since last it was visible.

You may, quite rightly, surmise that my gardening is none too fastidious.  I tend to garden out of necessity - when things look TOO wild.  I garden mostly for the benefit of wildlife and apart from not having a pond (a real wildlife winner), I think my garden scores reasonably high on the wildlife friendly scale.

I've got a nice rotten wood pile made entirely from wood gathered in the garden.  I've got garden beds that are full of wild flowers (well, weeds are just wild flowers in the "wrong" place) and I don't generally "weed" much.  I have a wormery and a compost bin.  I put cat and dog hair (that we've brushed from the animals) out for the birds to collect.  There's a cherry tree and a load of shrubs.  It's "cottage" and "rustic".

I trimmed a spiky tree.... pulled up a great load of "stickywilly".... pulled a few dandelions up.... cleaned up a few lawn clippings, which I generally leave around - I don't think it does much good to a lawn to keep it all neat and tidy.  I cleared some space around the few actual "plants" that I've got.... the lavender, the blueberry, the peony and the gooseberry bush...... buttercups everywhere felt my wrath.

I've maintained the strimmer and the mower.... I've even oiled and cleaned a pair of secateurs that were long lost, found during the recent shed renovations.

It's been a nice day.... steady away.... and I've  even managed to sit out and read some of my book..... only one more chapter left and we'll be moving on to pages new.

My new fishing tackle order arrived too..... might even get to fish tomorrow if this temperature keeps down a bit.  I've got a date with some flag stones tomorrow to repay John's assistance at the weekend with my shed..... cue bad back in the not so distant future!

Normal service is slowly being resumed!

Naff off....

To quote the late, great Ronnie Barker as the ever present Norman Stanley Fletcher in Porridge.....  Naff off!

That's what I find myself saying quite a lot during these hot, sunny, summer days.  Or words to that effect at least, that possibly are too crude to be published herein.

Naff off temporary traffic lights.  There's a set just up the road from me that have been inching closer and closer to my domain over the last month or so.... at one point they were "three way" and then back to standard "straight line" or "two way" and now they've reached the end of Gosport Lane.... one of my regular short cuts, they're back to three way and the traffic backs up along Gosport.... and the traffic backs up through Outlane past my house....

Because it's sunny, when cars are stuck at traffic lights, they tend to have their windows down and their shitty stereos spewing crappy music out all over my garden, where I am inclined to be on and incline with a book clutched in one hand... pretending to read, while I am really trying to snooze!  Alternatively, I'm stuck in one of the three directions of traffic signals with the t-shirt sticking to my back.... just hundreds of metres from my home but unable to get there.

NAFF OFF!

Naff off to people who don't thank me for letting them out of a junction or to come through a narrow piece of road, flanked by the myriad of parked vehicles.

Naff off to people who, travelling downhill, with parked cars on their side, advance against me as I am travelling uphill with the technical right of way, and then fail to acknowledge that this is unreasonable and/or deserves at least some sort of recognition.

NAFF OFF

Whether it's the weather, or whether it's just technology that's railing against me but every piece of vaguely pseudo intelligent equipment I touch seems to malfunction.....  I sat waiting for my laptop to reboot tonight..... lights flashing, but undoubtedly there was nobody home.....  I waited.... Thorin sat down and started singing about gold......  Eventually, by some strange quirk of chance and or sense of frustration, I unplugged the USB hub and the laptop sprang to life.

NAFF OFF

Road tax..... car insurance.... MOT..... petrol prices......

NAFF OFF

Nosey neighbours.... bored out of their minds in their retirement.... pretending to be doing things so they can find out what's going on.... leaning over the wall....  eyeing up the missus while pretending to be planting their "summer bedding" in regimented rows around their hard-standings.......  "What's that".... "What are you doing?"...... "How does that work?"......  I don't expect to spend my day in the garden with neighbours, and their neighbours, and their neighbours and so ad infinitum.

Rant, rage, rail......  eyes bulging..... temperature rising......

Smoking

This hot weather is too much!

Imagine if you would, a film named "Some like it quite warm" and you'll be somewhere near my thoughts.

I need variety.

Too much sun makes everyone go crazy.

For some reason it also brings out the boy racers and motorbikes that see the sun as an excuse for tear-arsing past my house.

I've spent the entire day, out in the garden, surrounded by a positive plethora of piscatorial paraphernalia!

I've washed and oiled, tidied and reorganised, unpacked and re-stowed all my worldly tackle!

Rods, reels, bait, weights, floats, hooks, cloths, wheels, handles, nets, boxes, bags, tubs, sticks, arms, heads, catapults, wallets, tubes, tools, they've all been spread round the grassy area I laughingly refer to as a "lawn", like an explosion in a fishing tackle factory!

And so, just like when I fish, it would appear that one side of me has seen more of the sun today than the other.....  my right arm's slightly singed and tingling and a bit crimson, and the left hand side is fine..... no doubt I also have "sunglasses" lines round my panda eyes and lines where the arms have gone over my ears!!  This is what happens when you sit for too long in the sun without actually thinking about being sat in the sun!!

I spent the final hour or two of the afternoon reading a book and nodding off, safe in the knowledge that both arms were being equally toasted, and that my next fishing trip will be quite pleasantly organised - it's so much easier when everything is where it should be.... Part of the "art" of fishing is that once you get sat down and fishing, you should have everything readily to hand without getting up and stomping up and down the bank looking for this or that, or indeed the other!!

So I've got a red neck.... a red arm..... some tidy fishing gear..... and a shed with a roof......

On the subject of "the shed" - as is so often the case, when I asked my friend, John, to come and help me fix the roof.... it soon became apparent that:

a) The floor fell out of the shed!

b) Half the back fell off the shed!

c) Lots of other bits fell off the shed!

Thanks to John we managed to get it all done..... we put a new lower frame into the shed, a new floor, a new panel at the back, a new frame for the roof, new felt on the roof, and some extra bracing and structural suppor..... it's good to go, and we put a little base down to raise the shed off the floor so it doesn't sit in it's own pool of piss, quietly rotting away any more!

Don't get me started on "shed envy"! (caution contains gratuitous shed shots)

Poorly shed......

Poorlier shed.... John surveying the rotten floor - shed on side propped up :(

Shed on the mend!

Shed looking better!

Shed best!

between...

Stuck between a rock and a hard place is where you will currently find me.

On the one hand, I should have posted a blog yesterday that was all about me fixing my shed and getting SEVERELY sunburnt into the bargain.

I had also planned a little blog about an exhibit at the Yorkshire Sculpture Park that was a series of bee boxes made out of bee related books.

When you consider that it's Sunday and it's red hot and I'm less than cheerful, you'll forgive me for sinking back into a blog about ..... Search Engine Sunday!

there was a cow from huddersfield

A poem once taught to me by a distant relative of the Peaker clan... possibly my mum's cousin David or some such person, that goes a little something like this.... (sound of fox clearing throat)......

There was a cow of 'Uddersfield,

Who said tha' 'er milk would no' yield,

Unless she 'ad 'er udders feeled!

fashion girls cool KART

Now, I'm as puzzled by somebody landing on my page as a result of asking a search engine this specific query.  I've tried desperately to understand what/why.where/who this was all about and in what direction I should gently "shove" them, and the best thing I can come up with is this VERY disappointing (loosely called) video game!!  Click here to play it!  I have to admit to having one go at it and was waiting for something to happen, when I realised.... that's it.... I mean that is literally all it does!!  Piss poor!

mission impossible and line burn

Are you suggesting that little Tom Cruise singed his pinkies by throwing himself off a building, tethered only by a little piece of rope and subsequently ended up say "ouch that really chafes"?  I can actually imagine that.  I don't, however, know anything about the Mission Impossible franchise.... don't recall having seen ANY of them..... perhaps Rol might have some information on this (he knows about movies and that)?  Or IMDB and their Movie Trivia!?!

death traps for arctic fox's

Good grief internet searcher.... where's your grandma?  I mean grammar!!  fox plural = foxes, something belong to a fox = fox's.  However, much more alarming is the fact that you're looking for a death trap for an arctic fox.... I can only hope that you are looking for this in order to ensure that no such things are present in your local fox friendly environment and not that you are planning a foxy genocidal mission!!  As an example... DON'T use these!

slug

Hang on... that's not even a valid search.  I hope the search engine spat you out in a semi-digested state suggesting that there is far from enough information to compute your request.  Do you want a fancy dress outfit for a slog?  A way to trap slugs in the garden?  A picture of a slug?  A slug of whisky?  It's too vague and you're making my head hurt, now go away!!

Saddle

Hooray.......

After a brief spell of incapacity.... amounting to a series of complaints and mutations of various germs and infections..... I've made it back outside and back to walking.

Managed a rather warm but deliciously breezy four miles (give or take) on a circuitous route around our local water of Scammonden Dam, which motorists will know as the water that the M62 motorway crosses on the dam wall between junctions twenty two and twenty three, and which is quite close to the spot where the motorway is divided by a farmhouse that stood defiantly against the construction project, allegedly through the farmer sitting on the roof of his house.

Dazzling blue skies, bright yellow cowslip, and dark peaty water.  A new path, stark, bright, white hot.  windblown waves lapping across the water and murky edges where the silt is being stirred.

I'm pleased to say that my legs haven't gone back to their old sloppy ways, and rather than feeling fatigued or tested by the route, I felt like I could have walked a fair bit farther.  Good sign, and one that I'll be acting upon in the not so distant future.

The rest of the day has been spent in darkness..... blinds shut tight, keeping the sun out of the house, and the few windows that can be opened are indeed open and all the doors are propped open to avoid the characteristic slamming that occurs when the breeze catches them!!

The house is now reasonably and quite comfortably cool, if rather dark!

Tomorrow I have plans to mend my garden shed....  I laughingly refer to it as a shed..... it's got to be the smallest shed in town and provides JUST enough room to house a pair of folding lawnmowers and a few pots of old chemicals that you usually find in sheds and garages.

The shed roof has collapsed and I've got plans that, with the assistance of my mate, John, we'll replace the roof and re-felt it so that my electric mowers don't kill me next time I need to use them.  Perhaps I'll post a picture or two for you..... depends if it goes OK or not I guess!

s.... h.... o.... pp.... i.... n.... g!

I like shopping, I do!

Rare as it is for "real" men to feel the need or desire for retail therapy.... I have a hankering for more stuff!

I like gadgets and kitchen implements (not appliances).  I like gizmos and fishing tackle.  I even like shopping for fruit and vegetables!

I HATE shopping for clothes.  I don't like shopping for cars, for birthday presents, christmas presents or mobile phones.  Thank heavens for internet shopping where these items are concerned.

This brings me on to the subject of our trip to the Sculpture Park, yesterday....  My cousin and aunt, who both live in Canadia both loved the Sculpture Park when I took them there and gave them a Foxified guided tour - I'm no expert but I've been a few times and I know nice paths to the L:ongsight Gallery and back again, taking in my favourite pieces along the way - and I like to send them something from there whenever I visit.....

So, shopping at Yorkshire Sculpture Park.....

I wanted something relating to the Miro exhibition to send to Canadia....  a card or some postcards perhaps.... alas, there were none on sale.... not a single Miro product that weighed less than a fridge magnet (a pointless item if ever there was one - except perhaps the magnetic poetry set and the magnetic ransom note set) and nothing much less fragile than glassware and china cups..... a poor show, and I left the gift shop without spending a proverbial penny!

What a shame.

And now, I've been given a green light to buy myself some fishing tackle.... so that's a bonus and scratches the itch that needs an unresoved scratching from yesterday.  for the record, I'm buying some Guru X-Safe spare elastic and tubes; Korum bait stops; Korum baiting needle; three new spools of Drennan Series 7 monofilament (4.6lb; 5.6lb; 6.9lb); and some Guru four inch method hair rigs (size 14 to 9lb line) - great stuff.

I can only imagine the state of coldness that the above list will have left you all feeling!

Itch scratched!

Miro miro on the wall

I like modern art I do......

I believe anything can be art.... and depending how you look at it.... it might as well be!  That's just me.

Recently my mum passed me an article, which of course she was goading me with.  The item was about a new exhibition at the Hayward's Gallery in London.  The exhibition is comprised entirely of "invisible" pieces.

Examples: A movie shot with no film; invisible ink drawings; a plinth once stood on by Andy Warhol; a piece of art paper that an artist stared at for one thousand hours (over a five year period).

I read the article and remark that I would go to look at it.... "I thought YOU might" offers my usual discouraging, disparaging mother.  She paints watercolours with several local art "groups" and has no time for the frivolities of modern art.  "I could have done that" is her almost perpetual response..... "yes you could mother, but you didn't" my only reply.

Look, this modern art isn't just about throwing things about.... there's a thought process and a reason why it happens the way it does.  The "invisible" art pieces are all about their concepts....  The ideas behind the "works" are not hindered by the presence of an image... simple..... I'd go to see it... why not, it would amuse me and I'd enjoy it.

Today I've spent the day at Yorkshire Sculpture Park amongst some great examples of work of many types and in fantastic surroundings.  The very place at Bretton Hall, the pieces in their places, the walks through, the trees, the whole ambience.... it's a symphony of art.

I've stroked pieces by Henry Moore, Barbara Hepworth, Joan Miro, Andy Goldsworthy, Winter and Horbelt, David Nash and many others besides.... real, solid pieces that you can actually interact with.  It's a great place and I always find it soothes my soul.  I love it.

The current "main" exhibition is a bunch of Catalan, Joan Miro's work and it's really stunning.  Lots of great paintings and some crazy sculptures.  Lots of information about Miro and his work....  like living monsters!

If you are lucky enough, like me, to live within striking distance of the Sculpture Park and you've never been, then what are you waiting for?  If you have to travel further to get there, then I suggest you pick a day and make the effort at least once...... despite the (in my opinion) rather pricey car parking charges which have gone up from four quid a day to seven pounds fifty a day.... there are no other entrance fees to pay.

So rather than pay eight quid each to see a bunch of invisible art.... why not pay a bit less or a full carload of you to see some REAL pieces!

A little knowledge

A little knowledge is not only a dangerous thing.... it's downright annoying!

Me and my mum rub the wrong way at times.  She doesn't see why and I have a short fuse as far as it goes.

Take for example our conversation earlier today about some flag stones in the garden..... she wants the flag stones lifting up and putting back down again so that all the edges join up and there are no toe-stubbable steps between them.  The area where the flags are is on a slope and the flags at the bottom of the slope are to stay where they are.

She INSISTS.... positively INSISTS that she wants the flags levelling off.... which to me suggests making the flags level.... i.e. lift them all up and put a spirit level across them... i.e. make them level, hence the process of levelling.... she INSISTS she is still correct in that simply making them join up irrispective of their pitch... i.e. so the edges are level with the next flag and so on is actually "levelling" them....

Further to this she suggests that the flags can be lifted and then bedded on some sand (which of course is also a half arsed measure and the sand will wash away in the first rain and leave wobbly unLEVEL flags).

It's not.... it never will be.... and you'll never convince me otherwise..... unlevelled paving stones whether their edges meet up or not are not level!

It goes on for some time and my voice becomes raised.... I firmly believe that if somebody is stupid enough, that all you have to do is shout the correct information into their mind to make them smarter.

Rant over......

I leave you with this little conversation that ended without me responding.....

Mum had some mail for me... It's an old legacy mail shot from a bank that I used to deal with when I lived at home with my folks.... some twenty plus years ago..... junk mail.

I give the items for mum to recycle.....  I tear off my name and address and any information that is personal and say "I'd normally shred that bit", to which mum replies "well I'll just burn it." - I miss having an open fire.

Mum then goes on to point out that rather than recycle half of the letter and burn the bit with details on......

"well it all gets recycled into ash even if it burns doesn't it".

I roll my eyes, bite my tongue and refuse to rise to the bait!

I'm not sure she grasps the concept of recycling!!

Bee

Bee to the Gee to the R.I.P!  The Bee Gees have finally become a Bee Gee..... after brother Robin suffled off this mortal coil.... it's a shame and it reminds us all that none of us are getting any younger......

Must... watch.... tele... vision!!

A Walking Dead marathon this evening as Dawn decides she wants to make a break for the end of season wrap party..... we're currently on our fourth episode this evening!!  It's great and all but when you've already seen them, the desire is not quite so strong as the first time through......

I'm motivated to get to the end because I've just gotten hold of the entire 20 episode run of the Danish version of "The Killing" (Forbrydelsen) and that's going to be next on the turntable!!

Started the day short of breath.....  I've got one of those really weak, pathetic, peffy, coughs..... like it's too tight to really bellow out but I can manage a little half hearted affair like someone trying not to cough in the middle of the snooker finals at Sheffield Crucible!!

Finished the day with just as much of an annoying cough and still short of breath.

In the mean-time, I've done a bit of fishing..... stir fried a bit of dinner (unrelated to the fishing)...... and I've watched TV.  That's it.

the fishing was awful today.... this morning it was too cold.... then it was too bright..... then it was too hot..... then I went home......  a bream of about a pound and a half was the highlight of my session despite the unleashing of a new mix of groundbait containing hemp seed, various other seeds and maize..... and some strawberry flavoured sweetcorn!!  I was tempted to scoff it myself.

Anyhoo......

Little chore to run tomorrow and probably going to the Sculpture Park on Wednesday so lots to look forward to.... might even get me grass cut..... 

Back

Guess who's back?  Sunday search is back!!

Back by incredibly, inedibly, indelibly, popular lack of demand!

You all know the pack drill by now.....  if you came here looking for something that you couldn't find, then I'm here to help.  I live to give....  as long as you only want information... and not money!

noel redding

Oh, Noel.... he was the bassist with the Jimi Hendrix Experience.  He had an amazing... I mean AMAZING bouffant coiffure!  A friend of mine once commented that with my long, flowing (for "long, flowing" read "bushy, and wiry") hair made me look like Noel Redding, and the similarity and connection with my blog... starts and ends there!  Genius with a bass guitar he was.... great hair he had......

slut suzie blackpool

She was (possibly still is for all I know) a "hooker" from Blackpool in the North of England, who advertised her services on the internet.... and her speciality was catering for disabled clients!  She used to have a rather interesting blog about her life as an "escort" but it's long gone.... and unfortunately for the people who are STILL searching for her.... I have no idea where to send you.....  apologies for my fail, and Suzie, if you come looking.... let me know where to send the cheeky monkeys that come here trying to find you!!

 

walking dead wallpaper comic

Wow, a multiple criteria search.  I mean, make your mind up... do you want Walking Dead wallpaper, or do you want Walking Dead the comic, or do you want wallpapers from the Walking Dead comic?  Enjoy, and please be more specific with your search criteria in future!

um bongo lyrics

Ah, that old chestnut.... one of my party pieces.... It was a fruity drink...  don't even know if you can still get it... it probably contained too many flavourings, preservatives and nasty "E" numbers to have made the transistion to modern day living.  There was also a cheeky version where you could mix a bottle of Diamond White (cider) and Castaway (alcopop) to make a rather potent Um Bongo flavoured drink we laughingly referred to as "Blastaway"!!

Um bongo um bongo, they drink it in the Congo.

Way down deep in the middle of the Congo,
A hippo took an apricot a guava and a mango,
He stuck it with the others, and they danced a dainty tango,
The rhino said "I know, we'll call it um bongo".

Um Bongo Um Bongo, they drink it in the Congo.
The python picked the passion fruit,
The marmoset the mandarin,
The parrot painted packets that the whole caboodle landed in,
so when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle,
they all prefer the sunny funny one they call um bongo.

 

blog arcic fox

Firstly... well done, you made it to the right place.  Secondly, I'm surprised you made it to the right place you moron.... it's arcTic fox..... this comes a close second to my other pet hate of people missing out the first"c" and spelling it like "artic" - as in articulated waggon.... and believe me when I say this.... you do not want an eighteen wheeled articulated fox bearing down on you at ninety miles and hour baby (that's the speed I drive) - not that I actually drive at this speed, but it brings me full circle to finishing off this blog entry with lyrics from Jimi Hendrix's "Cross Town Traffic"!

Peace out!

Excuses!

Lame excuse for not posting a blog entry on Friday.... but I was fishing AGAIN!

The fishing was poor.  I didn't feel that great.  Went out for a couple of pints, and tried to maintain a "don't drink and blog" policy!

Anyway.... here's a recap of the latest action....

I spent four quid on Euromillions lottery tickets (I so rarely play the lottery but am sometimes "talked into it" by Dawn - inevitably, I won three pounds.... so even though I won.... they still managed to take a quid off me which of course dulls the edge of my victory slightly.

Went to Slawit last evening to the Commercial.... and it was marred by the presence of some sort of weird underage stag-do.... where some decidedly young people were drunk and arm wrestling.....  it made for an uncomfortable experience and I'm tolerant to most things Slawit has to offer!!  Bloody comer-inners!

Went up to Holmfirth for the premier event of the third Holmfirth Film festival, which was a double bill of "Le Voyage Dans La Lune" (by Georges Melies) - a classic tale of a journey to the moon from as far back as 1901 - a long lost and rediscovered and painstakingly restored, hand coloured version with a cracking soundtrack by those French electro rockers, Air, and that was shown with Marting Scorsese's film Hugo.... which won a load of three dimensional plaudits, but was screened in two dimensions.... thankfully.  Unbeknownst to me, the two films were inexorably linked and it was a really pleasant surprise and experience to see both of them together.  Coupled with the fact that I sat at the back near the bar and managed a couple of pints of real ale during the films..... result!

Straight on from that it was into Huddersfield to the 88 Noodle Bar on Cross Church Street.... a favourite fast food haunt of both myself and Dawn's.  Sweet and sour king prawn... szechuan stylee!!  Boiled rice.  Salt and pepper chips and a pot of Chinese green tea,,,,, ACE!

Spent the remainder of the day/evening vegging out to the TV.  Watched some of The Walking Dead (a revisit for me, but it's new to Dawn and she's really enjoying it) and then the final two parts of the most excellent Swedish/Danish hybrid "The Bridge" - best bit of TV I've watched in ages..... well done BBC for running it in double bill sequences on a Saturday night.... it's been great!

Bath..... and bed..... knackered!

Curses!

Believe it or not, I've spent the day plagued by fairies!

I went fishing (of course) - and although I spent a totally fruitless morning and early afternoon on Brookfoot pond.... with not a single bite to show for it..... AND the whole pond is covered in blue green algae which is collecting in turquoise shimmering pockets around the marginal areas.... it's hideously beautiful and tantalisingly toxic.

There is another pond as part of the complex down at Brookfoot and I believe it was paid for by a generous legacy from a dear old departed club member.... hence it is now know as Riley's Pond after Tony Riley.  I decided, at about three o clock this afternoon to head on over to Riley's and give it a go..... nothing to lose.

Well it was hard going..... I fished and worked at it and fed the fish and tried different depths and weights and floats and baits.......  Eventually I found the fish up near the surface - a notoriously difficult place to catch them - and I settled into a nice routine catching lots of small roach and rudd.

As the afternoon wore on, the whole thing became much more predictable and easier to work..... but then the annual event that I ALWAYS dread.... occurred.......

Fairies!

Thousands of them!

I think they come from the catkins blossoms on the trees..... This time every year they go mad.... it happens in one big week long burst and they float unassumingly through the air.... land on the water..... wrap themselves around the line..... get wound up into the reel and into the eyes of the rod creating sticking spots where the line won't flow freely and eventually causing the line to tangle.....

...which it did!

.... several times!!

I think I'm supposed to say "I don't believe in fairies" ( times one million) and they'll all die painfully and never trouble me again!

Despite the fairies, I fished till about a quarter past eight this evening and had a string of 5 lovely tench to finish with.  Superb stuff.

Feed a fever....

Somewhere deep at the back of my consciousness, I seem to remember that you're supposed to feed a fever but starve a cold!

I'm not sure where such a tale would come from or whether it has any relevance at all.

Feeling somewhat jaded (i.e. I'm actually dying, but we men don't like to go on about it too much) I decided to take advantage of a brace of fridges (we have a fridge each - myself and Dawn for reasons including: I keep maggots in my fridge for fishing; Dawn brought her fridge with her when she moved in; nobody touches stuff in my fridge cos everything in there usually actually needs cooking and can't be picked up and eaten) that were fairly stuffed with fresh fruit and vegetables.

I knuckled down and made a pan of stew, which included swede, runner beans, potato, onions, carrots and some quorn steak strips (which actually are not bad) and a packet mix of dumplings floating on top..... hearty to say the least.

Once the stew was on the simmer.....

I peeled and chopped and scraped and diced and squashed and spiced and whipped up a rather large pan full to the brim of vegetable curry which included apples, celery, onions, garlic, carrots, cauliflower, potato, sultanas and green beans (long green beans?  French?) and some spices in the form of ginger, turmeric and cayenne.

Once both pans were on the go......

Cracked on and made some fresh fruit salad out of a bunch of fruits that needed using up.... pears, oranges, pineapple, strawberries, and blueberries.

So.... going back to the old adage about feeding a fever and starving a cold..... I'm not actually sure what sort of ailment I'd put myself down as having.....  so I wouldn't know whether to feed it or starve it.....

One thing's for sure though..... I've made enough food to last me until the weekend and I'm pretty sure that it can only do me good!  I've got a belly full of stew.... I've had some fruit salad..... and in about an hour (just chance to watch one episode of Walking Dead).... I'll be away to my pit!

Na-night!

Just when I thought it was safe to go back to the water.... and sit down and do a bit of fishing......

I'm ill AGAIN!

The whole house in which I reside is in a state of free-falling illness...... everyone's coughing and spluttering.......

Sleep patterns have gone to the dogs.... one person seems to have gotten a bit better and then someone else gets a bit worse.......

I thought I'd had the bronchial thing.... I'd had the flu..... the abscesses at both ends of the scale........

Now, after approximately two whole days of feeling almost well...... the chronic taste of death in my trachea accompanied with a bucking bronchi that feels like a tongue that's been burned by molten cheese straight from a toasted sandwich.

Hot... cold..... dry, non productive wheezy cough.  What joy.

Illness is strange..... eventually when you've been ill for a period of time, you begin to forget what it's like to feel normal.  What it's like to go through a day without even noticing how you feel...... the luxury of being able to take your health for granted.

I've not been this run down for bloody years, and if it were just me on my own then I'd be getting worried about it by now....  it's nice to have some sickly company on this particular ride!

The plus side of this is that I've taken to making myself a rather nice Hot Toddy.... and here's my recipe:

(I usually use a nice big tumbler that measures about half a pint - a nice thick walled glass tumbler keeps the heat in best)

Put enough runny honey into the glass to cover the base.... a good teaspoon works for me.

Add a good dash of lemon juice... I'm using bottled but I am sure fresh would be much better and I'd try for about a quarter of a lemon's worth.

Add whisky/rum/brandy in desired quantity..... I don't overdo it but I've been using a nice 12 year old Tobermory single malt.  Probably a decent single measure.

In a plastic jug I put a teabag and enough water for the drinks I am making..... 1 teabag is usually enough for two glasses if you put enough water in and brew it well.

Pour the steaming hot tea into the glasses to fill them to the top....

Give a gentle stir but not too much..... it's really nice to have a final syrupy mouthful at the end of the glass with the last bit of honey.

And, as Father Jack might say....... Drink!