Friday, September 14, 2012

Groans

I've got a tickly throat... in fact I've had this annoying, steadily increasingly annoying, tickly throat for a week now and it's JUST starting to get the better of me..... Strepsils and Beechams Powders at the ready.

(hot toddy made with rum and I'm off to bed)

I've just been reminded of a story.... reminded by my own inability to spot a joke when it slaps me across my dumbfounded face.

Well, as a kid, I was a real gag machine.... a veritable joke magnet.  I was always buying, digesting and regurgitating joke books.  I had a good memory for jokes and I'm sorry to say that my ability to spin a yarn or remember any funny jokes really has deserted me as I get older.

A few that I do remember are the silly childish ones like.....

Shall I tell you the joke about the pack of butter?  Oh no, you'll only spread it.

Want to hear the joke about the wheelie bin?  Oh no, it's rubbish.

Shall I tell you the joke about the broken pencil?  Oh no, there's no point.

you get the idea, right?

Well, there was a kid at our school, and to protect his identity, I'll just refer to him as "Ian"..... he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer and as kids do, we royally took the piss.

Well Ian always liked to hear a joke.... and it was a fair certainty that he'd laugh at any joke you told him, whether he understood it, or got it, or not.

In order to test this particular theory... someone, and I forget who, came up with a nonsensical joke to tell to Ian and see if he laughed.......

I can confirm that Ian did indeed laugh, and the joke was not in the least bit funny......  Sadly, I still remember the nonsense joke, and it does make me laugh.....

A boy walks into a baker's shop and asks "Have you got a blue loaf please?"  The baker replies "I'm sorry we've only got green loaves left" and the boy says "It's ok I've got my bike outside".

HAHAHAHA who's laughing now Mr. Haigh.... oops!

12 comments:

  1. In the words of the impeccable Bob Monkhouse: 'They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.'

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    1. lovely - good old Bob..... what a funny guy.

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  2. Have you been mixing Strepsils with Stephanie Beacham Powders again old chap?

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    1. I'm afraid, having seen Stephanie Beacham on a previous series of Celebrity Big Bro..... I'd rather stick to the placebo effects of medicinal tinctures.

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  3. Kids are so cruel. Hope the throat is soon better.

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    1. they always have been and I can only imagine they still are..... the throat's not TOO bad but my lungs...... groans.... still we don't like to moan about us chaps..... onward and upwards and all that jazz!!

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  4. Well, I thought it was funny because it was so not.

    Vitamin C.

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    1. I have plenty of other unfunny jokes too....

      Q: What's the difference between a duck?
      A: One of its legs is both the same!

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  5. Are you sure you're 100% Yorkshire? I only ask because thoroughbred Yorkshiremen don't moan about ticklish coughs or talk about going for a lie down - we're rough and tough and carry on regardless. Time for a heart to heart with your mother I think.

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    1. I am of course vastly underplaying my illness in true Yorkshire and/or man style.... I am probably at death's door as we speak.... still, those pints won't serve themselves!

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  6. One of my school friends was always making up "jokes" like that one too - I think he was abig fan of Spike Milligan and equated surreal humour with plain nonsense, with varying degrees of success. One was very similar to yours - two cows were in a bath together, and one said "Could you pass me the salt please?". To which the first answered, "What do you think I am, a police radio?".
    Or something like that - we're talking hmmmm 31 years ago here. And I hadn't remembered that joke in all that time (surprisingly - no!), but now thanks to you I've had a good chuckle ..

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    1. happy to have evoked such a good memory for you sir! I like your joke too!!

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