Monday, June 18, 2012

me-mail

I don't know what it is about my "xxxxxx@live.co.uk" email address that makes people use it!

(and before anyone (I'm looking in your direction Mr Pudding) gets smart - the xxxxx bit is merely a mask over the actual first part of the email to save it from further abuse)

Some time ago.... in a galaxy far far away.....

A lady named Jemma started placing orders with "next.co.uk" to buy clothes. She bought a whole series of items ranging from underwear to Peppa Pig clothes for very small children.

I only know this because the email address she used to register on the "next.co.uk" website was in fact MY email address.... and subsequently I received all her order confirmations, her delivery schedules, her requests for payment.... etc etc. Now, most of these emails are automated and as such, you can't reply to them.... so I emailed Next to tell them of the error.... no response..... I logged on to Next using Jemma's details and changed her password a zillion times to try to flag something up.... no response..... I ordered a thousand catalogues to be sent to Jemma's address..... no response......

Eventually (possibly two or three years) I tracked down Jemma on Facebook and got everything sorted, but it wasn't an easy process.

And now....... I'm getting others......

Joan used my email address to apply to Wonga.com for a "payday" type loan - i.e. short term at extortionate interest rates - Poor Joan only needed eighty quid (£80) to last her until pay day..... the thirty day loan would have to be repaid at one hundred and ten pounds and eighty pence (£110.80) - now, even I can see that that's a bit steep..... but as they say 360% per annum fixed or 5160% APR. Suffice to say, Joan's application was rejected anyway, so she's probably living rough by now.

And then there's James......

James wanted some.... well.....

To: info@drainlineservices.co.uk
Subject: request for quote
contact name = james xxxxx
contact number = 02xxxxx1323`
contact email = xxxxxx@live.co.uk
comments = hi, please could you provide a quote for cleaning 8 single road
gulleys/drains for our client in segensworth, hampshire.
many thanks,
james xxxxx.

A simple enough request you might think....... but......

Hi James
Unfortunately this is not a job that we are able to carry out.
Thanks for your enquiry.
Nick Ruxton
Drainline Services LTD

Bad luck James..... your drains truly floweth over.... and worse still, you'll never receive the email telling you that they cannot attend.  Perhaps you'll read about it here?

And then there's our mystery customer, with a mystery demand..... but rest assured, this email response to someone using my email address is NOT for me!!

Dear customer,
Please let us know the link of the dress you need so that we can contact our factory to see if we can make it arrive in time
Best regards ,u07

(I've done some snooping on this one and the "u07" really refers to Jane White at "dressesclearancesale@yahoo.co.uk" but we will never know what the offender's request was.... perhaps it was a prom dress or something for a cruise?)

And so dear customers, it would seem that my email address is being used and abused the world over..... please take more care when ordering or typing your email addresses otherwise you'll end up with a surplus of catalogues being delivered to your house with overflowing drains where you can no longer afford to live and your dress never arrived in time for the eviction party!


4 comments:

  1. Have you ever considered changing your e mail address?

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    1. absolutely NOT! It's a good email address and I grabbed it when the "live.co.uk" series first began so it's a nice easy one.... it seems some people can't type properly or don't know their own email address..... when I used to work in IT we would close down this particular job with a "PEBCAK" comment - "Problem exists between chair and Keyboard"

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  2. I have a similar problem with one of my email addresses, used by all and sundry who never seem to mind not getting their replies.

    Most fun I ever had with one of them was a request from a restaurant for the "offender's" choices for their Christmas meal for the office outing ... I replied on their behalf. Oh boy, did they book a peculiar meal!

    Second-most fun was a solicitor working on some idiot's defence. After initially trying to point out their mistake and being patronised to hell and back by the smarmy sod (they didn't accept that you could "own" a domain name) - I added a few details to their client's alibi ... never heard from them again.

    Third-most was a High Street bank chasing a "customer" (a.k.a. poor sod like the rest of us) ... I'm surprised that I didn't getting arrested for suggesting what I suggested that they do. Maybe they're still trying or they got cramp or something?

    Fourth-most was ...

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    Replies
    1. It's weird because I have several email addresses and this is the only one that gets misused! Must just be one of those easily typosquatted addresses I guess.

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