Monday, December 24, 2007

While we are on.....

While we are on the subject of throwing burning coals at passing Christmas carollers.....

The local hoodies and chavs were out in force last evening.

There was a knock at the door. Not just any old rat-a-tat-tat, but the sound of some ham fisted teenage girl with the social skills of a walrus trying to remove the door from its very frame.

I jumped up from my usual position... horizontal on the couch... sending the gamut of assembled remote controls and mobile phones crashing to the floor from whence they were perched upon my belly.

At the top of the stairs, leading down to my ill fitting, draughty front door, I could already hear the foul tongued harpies effing and jeffing, in a manner that might make the most ardent of tap-room attendees blush.

I decided that opening the door, to part with any amount of money, for a single line of any given carol... usually.... "we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year" followed by them all looking like they are going to throw eggs at my house while supping cans of Heineken... was simply more than I was prepared to endure. Perhaps if they took the time to study a full yuletide song, and the intricacies of harmony, I might be tempted??

I picked up the remote controls and resumed the position.

I wouldn't even waste flaming lumps of coal on the silver tongued angels that came hammering for cash.

Bah humbuggery indeed!

4 comments:

  1. He he Fox you may be Mr Bah Humbug himself but you always make me smile at christmas
    Pol x

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  2. i'm pretty full of the christmas humbug too. thank god it's all over in two days' time. well done for ignoring the chav choir, they should be shot for disturbing the community peace.

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  3. As we say each year, here in spice acres, to bring joy and goodwill to all those passing by.

    May your porcupine never moult in the bedroom.

    Have a good one Mr Fox.

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  4. I've been meaning to ask you, Fox - as I drive through Outlane, I notice one house that's overly-bedecked in festive trimmings. Not yours, surely?

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