Sunday, November 04, 2007

Sunday search for six.

Day six Pole Moor diaries.

No introduction necessary by now. You all should know what my Sunday Search terms are all about, and if you don't then look back at the last few Sunday postings to get the idea.

what would happen if the arctic fox died (Google)
The first thing you would probably notice would be a severe lack of blog entries. I'm touched that you're already planning how best to cope without me, but it's a little premature!!

Jenni Falconer porn (Google)
Hahaha, one minute it's Jenni's anti-smoking campaign. No sooner have I scratched that itch for you, than you want what?? Seriously, I'm not sure there's any Jenni Falconer porn out there, she is far too busy presenting televisual gold, like the lottery and Cirque du Celebrite to need any extra exposure!! You're just not going to find it, and don't just take that from me, here's someone who has spent more time than I ever would researching it.

pinch and a punch first day of the month cut off (Google)
In my twisted little world, the rules of "pinch and a punch for the first of the month" are as follows:

a) You may pinch and punch anyone until midday of the first day of the month.

b) Once you have been pinched and punched yourself, you may not pinch and punch any further until the next month.

c) You may not pinch and punch anyone who pinched and punched you first.

d) You must declare "pinch and punch for the first of the month" as you pinch and punch your victims.

The rules above are completely made up and I accept no responsibility for anything that happens to anyone, ever!

egears (and any other derivatives) (Any search engine)
So many people have found my site searching for egears that it's now the second highest commonly searched for item that leads people here. I still maintain that you should not touch them with a barge pole. Find someone who will give you some customer service and satisfaction instead.

adopt a arctic fox (Google)
I am open to offers... highest bid wins!!

fox halloween porn (Google)
What the?? I can only reiterate, perhaps you should try here?
(pictures seem to broken to me, but mebbe that's just this freaking computer?)

rodney allen greenblatt (Google)
Try "Rodney alan Greenblat".... or go here instead!! I once almost persuaded Rodney to allow me to create a website for him.... almost!! Father of Parappa the Rapper of course!

HEBDEN BRIDGE BONFIRE 2007 ENTRANCE FEE PRICE (Google)
If you gotta pay to see a bonfire then you're barking up the wrong tree... i.e. a tree that's on fire!! For Hebden Bridge, you'd surely be better visiting the Hobbit's massive bonfire extravaganza.... in fact it's probably a bit late for that now... never mind.... but seriously DON'T pay to see a bonfire!!

gave up smoking indigestion (Google)
The nicotine lozenges that I started taking to get me off the cancer sticks did indeed give me (amongst other symptoms) indigestion. Persevere... buy Zantac, Gaviscon, Chewable Rennies, Tums, anything... all of them.... it's still cheaper and better for you than smoking... Good luck!!

knock knock jokes porcine (Google)
I'm such a fan of this search, it's untrue. Porcine knock knock jokes, it's deliciously correct. I like it so much, I give to you....
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pig
Pig who?
Pig up your feet or you'll Twip!

4 comments:

  1. Weird! I am calling the Kirklees Social Services to have you taken into care! Or maybe not so weird. It IS fascinating to see what Google coughs up for us. Google is something so outlandish that early science fiction writers could NEVER have dreamed it up!
    P.S. You would look much better if you dressed in that Fox Halloween suit! It would also be a huge turn on for Dawn!

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  2. P.P.S. ... Your meme idea - Seven Deadly Sins - well I'm challenging you with it! Go for it buddy! Spill the beans!

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  3. what would happen if the arctic fox died?

    Scavengers would eat you. Probably the chickens. Not being fed for the remaining 33 days - they would feast upon you.

    Your mum would come back and all that remained to suggest your presence would be a few bone chippings and a pile of beak shredded clothes.

    A TV programme, perhaps something eerily appropriate like Countryfile, would be flickering away in the background on a mysterious Freeview box that your mum recognises wasn't there when she'd left and, in the garden, a flock of overly plump fowl would be strutting around with an enigmatic gleam in their eyes - whilst surreptitiously looking for their next meal.

    Sleep well.

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  4. howsit going in the sticks, foxxo? you seen any of them killer lady birds yet? (the ones with black bodies and two big red spots - they are profilic down my way)

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