Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Thirty nine steps.

Anyone who has followed my blog for any amount of time will know, without even having to think about it, that whenever I have to look after my mum's house at Pole Moor.....

I get extremely pissed off!!

Today is the start of thirty nine days of house sitting, of chicken husbandry, of cat caring, of shattered internet connections, and limited televisual experiences.

Eighteen chickens.

Four cats.

No internet. Well internet that is so temperamental that I have been trying to create a blog entry for nigh on six hours now.

Browsers that don't perform as they should - A combination of Opera, Firefox, and Internet Exploder will not (between them) allow me to publish a single photograph to my blog. A combination of windows internal firewall and the browsers' individual security settings are all arguing with each other.

Unfamiliar, unresponsive and frankly frustrating collection of photo editing software. I scanned a bunch of photographs earlier (for the purpose of my blog) and had to crop them.... It took me bloody hours for what should have been a ten minute exercise. The irony of this wasted time, is of course that the fourteen images I now have won't post.

A paranoid over zealous installation of Zonelabs Zonealarm (additional firewall), that won't let me fart without sticking a cork where monkeys shove bad nuts.

I've been house sitting for approximately twelve hours of the thirty nine days, and I am already tearing my hair out. Stay tuned for a complete and utter breakdown, which I predict will happen sometime around Thursday.


  1. but your mum loves you, right? bless.

    you can always go talk to the chickens if you're bored ... cluck, cluck.

  2. Everyone knows that, at this time of the evening, the chickens are all asleep!!

    No clucking.... and more importantly, at this time of year when they're melting.... I mean moulting..... they aren't even laying eggs. They're a bloody waste of space..... I don't have the same hatred for foxes that my mother has!!


  3. So, on that basis it doesn't take a psychiatrist to gain an in depth understanding of what makes you tick.

    (takes note) His mother hates Foxes.

    By the way - while you're looking after your mum's house, who's looking after yours? The mice?

  4. Shhh.... oh man, the burglars'll be in through the door by now!!! Mebbe I can see them stealing bowling cam live!!


  5. Very Hitchcockian. Could be worse you could have a duodenal ulcer, that would be a shocking drama, and far remove from where you are now.
    I weep for you I do I deeply sympathize ... he said sorting out all his various connections on his media pentium 4 devise.
    Enjoy it.

  6. 'sounds like my computer at the moment! i have 2 competing anti-virus prorammes at War with each other.Norton is refusing to be uninstalled! hey-hoy!

  7. It's Thursday now. Are you OK?

    What most of your readers might not realise is that Pole Moor is about five minutes walk away from where you live... why not go home to use the computer?

  8. Come on, Rol. Don't spoil it for him. We were all just indulging him in his Grizzly Adams fantasy.

    The epic story of a man and his chickens, alone in the wilderness.

    No, it doesn't sound right, does it?

  9. I was having visions of an angry Mr Fox having to walk miles up a dirt track towards a house with a single puff of smoke coming out of the chimney, a broken fence, and the wind whistling through the trees.

    But.... apparently not so. Go carve your pumpkin, make some soup and go for a pint - stroke the chickens on your way out - and watch out for the ghoulies tonight - they are sure to be up your way!!

    39 days eh????? I look forward to your blogs Foxy.

  10. PS I would also go home and check your computer and new camera are still there .........

  11. Be careful Pixie. From suggesting he stroke his chicken and in the next breath mentioning his ghoulies you'll be linking his blog all sorts of perverted thrill seekers on their google searches.