Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Adopt a Geordie accent now.

Day two in the Big Mother's house. Fox is trying to photograph birds in the garden. Unfortunately, it's not his garden, and the birds are none too pleased at being pursued by a peeping tom, and in due course call the police. It's the price you pay for being a novice photographer.... A well known member of the paparazzi may well have requested a payment in the region of three-hundred-thousand simoleans for the effort!!

I am thinking of buying a "freeview" box for my mum's house. The choice of five channels is such an alarming, disarming contrast with my hundred and odd usual choices, that I don't think I will make it through the week without a little more choice. Hell, I don't even think I will make it through the night knowing that I am missing next week's episode of "Heroes" on BBC3.

The folks finally made it to Australia... their final destination. Mum called at around midday today, which of course, is eleven at night, tonight, in their time in Sydney. How strange is that? They had quite a rough journey, but then a whole day on an aeroplane is not many peoples' idea of fun, is it?

I seem to have mislaid (pardon the pun) a chicken already. I am reliably informed there should be nineteen, but I have only managed to find eighteen of them. At this rate, I'll be out of a job within a week.

Grey.... That's what we have today.... a cloak of greyness. Grey skies, grey clouds, grey light. Flat and very uninviting. I am disappointed that the weather has not been conducive to getting out and about with my new camera..... not that there is any software to do anything with the sodding photos when I've taken them. I am thinking of bringing my old laptop up here, just so I can touch some familiar software......

Note: You can not touch software!! The old rule of computing thumb is.... If you can kick it, it's hardware. If you can't kick it, it's software, unless of course it's firmware, which is software you can kick!! Got that?? Good!

And now.... I have been trying to find a positive out of house-sitting here at Pole Moor, and you know what?? I think I may have found it. As you may know, it's halloween tonight. I won't be celebrating. The nearest neighbour here is a good few hundred metres away, and the likelihood of half-hearted adolescents in hoodies knocking on my door for sweets, in breach of their ASBOs, is negligible. That's my positive.

Oh, bugger, you've probably just realised that while I am sitting here at my mum's house in peace and quiet, there is a ninety percent chance that the ingredients for Yorkshire pudding are being plastered across the front of my own house because I wasn't there to fire my air rifle at the delinquents of Outlane!! Negative!!


  1. "ingredients for Yorkshire pudding are being plastered across the front of my own house"

    This sir is a slur upon my reputation! The very idea of me dropping my kegs and doing a Thatcher on your doorstep before rendering your house with the stuff is quite despicable. Mind you if I had me Marigolds with me I just might!

  2. Already on my way with the batter bagged and ready for throwing.

  3. I know this Pixie may be blonde but why adopt a Geordie Accent now - explanation please Mr Fox.

  4. It was merely the "Big Brother" pastiche in the first paragraph - a la Marcus Bentley!! I was trying to compare my house-sitting experience to that of being on the Big Mother game show or something.... it WAS pretty random I agree, but not completely without thought.

  5. don't tell me you're eating the chickens now. anything for a bit of blood lust, hey? first it were the mice ... soon it'll be dogs ... and then - eek - hoodies! [actually, that might not be such a bid thing]

  6. so, being new to your blog, i'm guessing your mom's house is too far away from yours to just check in on it every other day or so?

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