Thursday, September 27, 2007

Maths lesson.

Jane has 25 million apples.

Jane buys each apple for £0.85.
Jane sells each apple for £1.40.

Jane's profit per apple is: __________ (a)

Jane sells all 25 million apples and makes a total profit of: __________ (b)

The farmer where Jane bought the apples has admitted that the apples he sold Jane were really oranges.

Jane admits to having sold her oranges telling everyone they would be getting apples, and under investigation it is revealed that the oranges have knowingly been sold at a profit, despite the fact that they were misrepresented. Jane is in a lot of trouble.

The newspapers tell the customers that they have bought oranges and not apples. Nobody wants to buy any more apples from Jane now.

So, Jane is taken to court by the Farmer's Union, and is ordered to pay some money back.

How much money should Jane be made to pay?

(i) £1.40 X 25 million = £35,000,000 [ ]
(ii) £0.55 X 25 million = £13,750,000 [ ]
(iii) Oh, let's say £2,000,000 as a guess [ ]

So were you right?

Jane illegally took £35,000,000 of money for apples when she knew they were oranges.
Jane illegally took £13,750,000 profit.

Jane claimed that, because she couldn't sell any more apples or oranges because the newspapers had been nasty about her, that she had really LOST £13,500,000.

Jane put £2,500,000 into a prize fund and entered the 25 million customers to win some of their money back. I know you've been cheated so here is a chance to win your money back!! In fact they have a chance of winning back about 7% of the total money.

Jane paid £2,000,000 to the Farmer's Union.

Jane is now on a tropical beach, retired, with the remaining £9,250,000.



  1. If Jane took some of that money and used it to make more interesting, intelligent and insightful apples (or oranges) rather than bland, mind-numbingly unimaginative ones... or if the people who bought said apples (or oranges) from Jane requested such things from their apples (or oranges)... then perhaps I'd have more sympathy for all concerned.

  2. Someone should tell Jane that "apples dont grow on trees".This would be a lie ,but it might help to see the error of her ways & how citrus the situation was...........

  3. Beneath the jovial arithmetical surface of this story I seem to detect an undercurrent of ironic bitterness but then I would be ironic and bitter if I dwelt in Huddersfield.

  4. Would any of this ever have happened if we all stuck to bananas? Or coconuts? You always know where you are with coconuts. And kiwi fruit, which are always reliable. And pomegranates. very underrated are pomegranates. Or even tomatoes, which people never think of as a fruit, but fruit they are. Or, in no particular order; watermelon, rambutan, pomelo, pineapple, papaya, mangosteen, mango, jackfruit, durian, duku langsat, dragonfruit, cempedak, pears, blackcurrant, gooseberry, bilberry, strawberry, plum, cherry, raspberry, grape, sarsparilla, cranberry, blueberry, ugli fruit, grapefruit, anona, guanabana, jocote, guayaba, mamon, mamon chino, nance, manzana de agua, peach, avocado, rosehip, pumpkin (which technically is a fruit), greengage, cloudberry, loganberry, persimmon, paw paw, lime, lemon, tangerine, kumquat, tamarillo, guava, lychee and... what was the question, again?

  5. I dwell in Huddersfield and am neither ironic nor bi...

    Oh. Hang on. I am.

    As you were.

  6. Er..something's obviously passed me by (not unexpected - I haven't been following the news much of late). Can I have a clue?

  7. Jobs for the boys, fines for the workers, and bloody great bonuses for management. Got to love cap[italism haven't you?

  8. How long have I been using the internet? I must remember - different coloured text might just mean there's a linky-type thingy there, yes?

    Please be tolerant. I am very old. Speak loudly and slowly and only use simple words.