Saturday, August 11, 2007

I've been.....

..... sneering at my neighbours.

I am minding my own business, cutting down a few branches from an unfeasibly large tree in my garden. The tree manages to envelop at least five phone lines, and my mission has been to free the lines from tangle. Each time the wind blows, I wince at the swaying lines connected to the tree, knowing that the next gust could have the telecoms company issuing me with a rather unsightly invoice.

One or two passers-by stop to admire my swinging posture, some thirty feet above them. One or two passers-by with nothing better to do, cast their eyes upon me as if I am carrying out the work of Satan herself, and mutter about local council, preservation orders and conservation areas.

I cut short my arboreal exploits with a view to contacting the council next week to clear the matter up once and for all. I would not want to give one of the local busy bodies the satisfaction of having one-upped me.

Now, whilst up a tree, I notice motorists speeding through my village at double the allowed rate, I see people using weedkiller in their gardens, I see gardens being turned into car parking spaces lovingly tarmacked.

I would not hurt a fly. I encourage wildlife into my garden. I feed the birds. I am one of only two houses in my street with any trees at all. Remember my rat?? I wouldn't even poison it!!

My blood boils.

Go back to your tarmacked front lawns and your manicured pristine gardens...... Go and attend to your bedding plants, leave me alone to look after the juvenile robins and blue tits that come and feed while I have my breakfast.

I might catch the rat and post it through their letterbox one night!!


  1. Hello Mr Fox! It's me again! Just to remind you - monkeys live in trees - while we humans walk the Earth. Geddit? No wonder the good citizens of Huddersopolis were looking funny at ye!

  2. You've been...

    Using the same title for a week now. How are we supposed to know if it's a new post? Your regular readers are getting confused!

  3. hear hear. that is the one thing i will definately do when i get my own garden - make it a haven for wildlife.