Thursday, August 09, 2007

I've been.....

.... in pain.

I am resigned to hobbling around the house like some deranged Hobbit who has been forced to walk along a fire pit of glowing embers. The sound of my mantra fills the air. Cool wet grass, cool wet grass, cool wet grass...... this could go on for quite some time.

For your enjoyment, I am including a blister inventory:

Left foot:

* 1 blister covering the entire end of my second toe (I am presuming we all agree that the second toe is the one next to the big one?).

* 1 blister on the sole of the foot, directly at the base of the second, third, fourth and fifth little piggies, measuring 50mm X 25mm (thus far, I have "emptied" this blister twice with the aid of safety pin, staples, and paper clips).

Right foot:

* 1 blister covering the entire end of my second toe.

* 1 blister covering the entire end of my third toe.

* 1 blister on the sole of my foot, directly behind the third toe.

* 1 blister on the sole of the heel.

All the above results in me having great trouble in wearing socks or shoes. Even the pressure from a pair of slippers has been too much to bear today, and that's before I even TRY to stand up!!!!!

owah........tarnar........siam!!

Concerned relatives and loved ones have been round to communicate their support. They are reduced to shouting encouragement through my letterbox, as I am too feeble to make the journey down two flights of stairs to answer the door. At one point, a concerned neighbour posted me a loaf of bread (a slice at a time) through the letterbox so I would not starve.

I feel the need to commemorate this moment in haiku.... I can hear the collective groan at the Vogonesque efforts I issue.

If I could still walk
I would throw them in the bin;
inadequate shoes.

3 comments:

  1. I never thought i'd say this but Vogons write better poetry......
    Hope you feeling better mate
    Pol x

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love the description deranged hobbit.

    Man know thyself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ooh Ow Ching Chong Cow

    ReplyDelete