Sunday, July 22, 2007


I wouldn't say my farts are really smelly....... They are, but I wouldn't say it, and certainly not in mixed company!! As long as there were pets on hand, on which to blame the offensive stench, then I would never have to say it anyway.

So why is it......

My sister, brother-in-law, and two nephews have buggered off to Australia to live.

My mum and Fred have naffed off to Scotland for an undisclosed period of time to stay with my Aunty and Uncle.

Dawn and the kids are beggaring off to Wales for a week.

I find myself on housewatch. Confined to "bleak house" at Pole Moor - About which I have actually blogged before. I will spare you a repeat performance. Suffice to say it's foggy and pissing down with moor grime and rain.

Bugger it, I've just farted again.

I have, in my sweaty palms, a copy of the new (and final) Harry Potter book..... I have a week of solitude in which to indulge in all things Hogwarty. I seem to remember that someone posted the punchline to the previous book in my comments before I'd finished it!! Rotten buggers!!

Right, it's bloody late. This house is spooky. Five channels of television are not enough to stop me from going to bed. Note to self: Bring freeview USB thing along tomorrow!!



  1. Facts:
    1. A healthy person farts 16 times a day

    2. Basic ingredients of farts: nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane, and hydrogen sulfide

    !! methane & hydrogen can be flammable

    3. Scientific name for a fart is "flatus" or "flatulence"

  2. My favorite things to say when I fart in public are:-

    1. Opps stood on a bull frog

    2. Was that a barking spider

    3. Speak up sir,we will find you in a minute

    4.More Tea Vicar?

    5. A bit more choke and I reacon she would of started.

    6. Thats the horn working best check the lights.

    in short farting is very funny

    Sorry I have left a comment for a while, FoX but I do still read.


  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Sorry that was me( I have nothing to do with Worcester Critical Mass Honest guv.)

    Link should be

    I cant remember my old blogger log in.

    Worcester Dan

  5. Enjoy the Harry Potter, I'm in a queue waiting for the book in our house..

  6. We bought two copies of the book so we could both read it at the same time. How sad is that?

    By the way - spoiler alert - the butler did it, with a wand, in the kitchen.

  7. If you feel scared at Pole Moor just stick Meatloaf's 'Bat Out of Hell on' at full volume and raid the cutlery drawer for all the knives in the house.... if it worked 22 years ago!!

  8. Quote: Rol Hirst "Does he die?"

    He's only been house sitting for a few days - I might pay him a visit before the end of the week.

  9. I used to admire you and that includes your Yorkshire-wide reputation for brewing the most offensive farts imaginable - laced with rotten eggs and Labrador dropping odours. However, you have sunk in my estimation since you came out of the closet and admitted to being a Harry Potter fan! What's up with you man? Harry Potter is for gullible kids and media-crazed, educationally subnormal adults.

  10. Harry Potter is for gullible kids and media-crazed, educationally subnormal adults.

    Perhaps if they had better teachers...