Friday, July 13, 2007

Consider yourself...

... well and truly bollocked.

Yesterday, I received a grammatical bollocking in the shape of a Yorkshire pudding!! I use too many paragraphs, and the paragraph pigs are on to me!! It's something I do, like the superfluous, and over zealous use of commas..... and full stops..... just like that!!

My writing is not structured according to the English language as much as the thoughts in my head. It's a jumbled mess in there, and mostly I type as I think..... Those full stops right there, are where my brain comes up for breath, or I consider whether I am going in the right direction momentarily.

One thing I DO know, and this is where my incorrect usage of paragraphs comes from, is that the attention span of your average web page reader (not dissimilar to my own) resembles the amount of time it takes for the Bullseye dartboard to rotate!! long paragraphs of text are a turnoff. I can read books..... even when they have small words on the pages and no pictures.... but a book is a tactile experience.... web pages aren't!!

And so.... It comes to pass, that I will continue to breach the rules of paragraphing and commaing. It will not be something I am proud of. I will always appreciate constructive criticism on the subject. I am always open to personal development.

The day that my favourite sweets received an ASBO!!


  1. What have they done to Love Hearts!!
    Hope you ok mate
    Pol x

  2. Those are not full stops mate, they are ellipses... singular ellipsis. Ellipses always come in dot-dot-dot formation - always three dots and never more. I agree with you that they are very useful in reflecting the random or unstructured quality of thought patterns... sometimes tailing off... sometimes linking incomplete thoughts together.

  3. hey just stumbled across this blog. like you do. in a random fashion, similiar to your sentence construction maybe? hey but, the love hearts rule.

  4. Actually, pud, depending on where you are in the world, there's a school of thought that says if your ellipses are at the end of a sentence, they should number four: three ellipses, and one period.

    . . . and did you know that some purists insist that ellipses be spaced like so?

    This dang editing certificate is taking over my braaaaainnnn...

    - Sophia "I never claimed to be a purist" Mac

    p.s. FoX - I need some o' yer' wikkedarse love hearts.

    p.p.s. Wot's 'chav'?