Friday, June 15, 2007

Day three.

It's official. The monsoon season has claimed the market town of Barnsley. A crack team of police divers has been sent in, armed with free snorkels for everyone, and Barnsley has been widely acclaimed as being the Venice of the north.

All hail the new waterworld.

June, and it's been raining non-stop for three days now. I tried to fashion an ark, in order to escape the rising water, but armed with three empty plastic milk bottles and some duck tape.... well, let's just say I never watched Blue Peter, but I now have a milk bottle mobile hanging above my bed. It's pretty but I doubt it will save many lives.

I have turned the central heating on. Madness..... sheer and utter madness.

I can live with the cold.... I can live with the rain...... It's the bloody dankness that gets to me. There's no real daylight, it's grey and miserable, and very very dull. It is indeed grim up north.

Lately I have been made to imagine what life would be like without thumbs. I think I will elaborate on this tomorrow.

Slugs?? Eating them??? Preserved in salt????

So, I set about trying to find out if any of this were true. Do people eat slugs? What recipes are available? How do you cook them? What if they've been eating poisonous plants??

Anyroad, despite my pescetarian tendencies, and the fact that I will get called a bunny hugger, killing slugs does not cause me any emotional turmoil.

Cooking pot in hand, I venture out into the garden.

You know what? Slugs don't actually taste of much, and if you marinade them in vinegar (as opposed to salt - you silly Yorkshire Pudding) then the slime comes away quite easily.

So, armed with the concept that I can now eat anything that might trouble me...... I have feasted upon: Slug broth; Roland rat stew; Steven the squirrel enchiladas, and Gerry the gas meter reader fricassee.

Tune in tomorrow for an exciting thumb experiment.

One, two, three, four, I wish my thumb wasn't quite so sore.


  1. Come on, three days of rain is hardly unusual for this time of year. Wait 'til Wimbledon!

    As for slugs... you're sick.

    Or you will be.

  2. I can't quite make out if you are serious about eating slugs.

    Then again, I couldn't believe that anyone ate snails, either.

    Or fish eggs, for that matter.

    Or frog's legs, or goose liver.

    People sure do eat some strange things.

  3. Might I suggest Slug Sushi...or sashimi rather...apparantly raw slug is quite de rigueur

  4. Slugs are one of my favourite dinners.

  5. I've been snacking on slugs for a number of years now, ever since I was a student and didn't have much money to spend on groceries. Ray Mears swears by them and they are delicious roasted on the barbie and served with a crisp green salad and a dash of salad seasoning. All hail the humble and much under-rated slug!

  6. I have a chart showing the various parts of the edible slug similar to those illustrating beef cuts and which can often be found in old fashioned butcher's shops.

  7. I am so pleased that my learned intervention has had the effect of broadening the spectrum of your diet... Also it is easy to disguise the humble slug in red wine sauce with onions and a few mushrooms chucked in. Just something to think about.

  8. How 'bout this (think of it as two slugs with one stone):

    Put a few dishes of beer around your garden, nestled into the ground so that slugs can crawl in. Slugs love beer...and they can't what you get is drowned, beery slugs. Perfect for barbecues, or popcorn slugs (like popcorn shrimp).

    Seriously, though - beer's an excellent way to get rid o' the beasties.

  9. I have a cookbook from the early 1900's that has not only how to skin, but cook and prepare squirel, rabbit and porcupine!!!!