Monday, June 18, 2007

Corgi horribilis.

Cast your minds back.... back.... back..... you are feeling sleepy.... wait, that's the wrong sketch.

Cast your minds back to January the 20th.

What were you doing? No, I don't know either.

What was Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh doing?

Well, if you are sitting comfortably, then I will begin......

He was shooting peasants at Sandringham... Oh, did I say peasants? I meant pheasants, but I am sure he wouldn't be bothered which of the two he fired at.

During this pleasant little country pursuit, the party of eight's enjoyment was positively ruined, when a fox ran out from beneath a minion's Doc Martened foot.

The shout went up "Fox, fox" and nobody could have argued with the astute level of animal recognition. Then, somebody's gun went off, and someone else's too.... a few shots were fired (presumably so you couldn't pin it on any one of them - like murder on the orient express) and the fox fell wounded.

Poor old uncle fox.... he lay there wounded for a while until one of the minions promptly stepped forward and coshed it with a flagpole.

Hoorah!!

The fun recommenced and those bloody peasants didn't know what was hitting them.

Five minutes later, it was all over and the minion returned to the fox, stamped on it, dragged it twenty yards, finally throwing it into a hedge.

They don't call them beaters for no good reason.

Well, as a kindred spirit, I am appalled at this sort of behaviour. I thank the woodwose that someone cares enough to stand up to it.

Enter Mark McGowan (performance artist, vegetarian, and animal rights activist).

Live on radio, he ate a corgi. The queen's favourite dog. He bloody well ate one.

If you were ever going to forsake your vegetarian principles, then this is the way to do it in style.

Mark was reported to say that it tasted "disgusting".

(for anyone interested - the corgi died at a breeding farm, and was minced with apples and onion)

I will stick with slugs.

4 comments:

  1. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
    ew ew ewwwwwwwwwww
    katt

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  2. Bloody royals. The sooner Canada fully integrates with the USA, the quicker we can get the old trout's picture off our money. The Canadian nickel has Queenie's head on one side and a picture of a beaver on the other. Ha! And they say there's no tradition of satire on the North American continent.

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  3. I can't remember this incident being reported on. I wonder about whether or not we should consider eating a wider range of animals to solve the problem of food shortage in the world? I know that they are now breeding GIANT (and I mean, SERIOUSLY giant) rabbits in Korea for this purpose - I heard that reported on Radio 4 a little while back. I would imagine that corgi and fox taste quite similar -I'm not convinced that by eating a corgi that died at a breeding farm, minced with apple etc, this guy made his point though... still, it's 'food for thought'.

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  4. Food shortage? What food shortage? There is no world food shortage - just too many westerners eating far more than is necessary and too little of it being distributed to those who desperately need it.

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