Friday, June 01, 2007

Angry kid.

Woke up, bleary eyed.

Within ten minutes of waking up, my day's tranquility was broken.

In my house there is an unwritten rule. Well there are several unwritten rules, but one which comes into play each and every first day of every month.

Pinch and a punch for the first of the month.

You are allowed to pinch and punch someone today. You cannot pinch and punch once you have been pinched and punched.

I lost. Again!! Now I have to wait a whole month to get the chance for revenge.

Follow up my humiliation with the most brazen piece of televisual misrepresentation ever (and no I am not talking about Big Brother for a change) and you've got one grumpy fox on your hands.

The news. It's a simple thing. There are even channels now which show nothing BUT news. You switch on the news and you fairly well know what to expect. It's usually a collection of stories from around the world about what is happening. It rarely makes you feel good to be alive.

So, I always choose the BBC news. I always watch on BBC1 because you get local bulletins every half hour or so. The BBC news is generally of a better quality than the other news channels, and of course there are no adverts....... Or are there???

This morning's coming up stories.......

Will Bradley and Stacey ever get back together? - A bloody Eastenders expose, complete with interview with an associated actor!!

Serious Andes - A pierced teenager joins the news crew on the couch to discuss what it was like to climb part of the Andes for a BBC television programme.

Any dream will do - The latest from a BBC programme where Graham Norton and Andrew Lloyd Webber grace our living rooms with their tireless search for a new Joseph. Starring Graham Norton as Jesus and Andrew Lloyd Webber as God.

I am left cursing.... this isn't bloody news. This is advertising. I pay my licence fee so I don't have to watch adverts. Outrageous.

Then, just as we are settling back down to some news.....

It's June the first. We have one month (exactly) left in this country, before a total no smoking blanket settles itself over all our public places. I never thought I would say it, but I am quite looking forward to it.

Coupled with the fact that there is a new "stop smoking" drug available on prescription, which allegedly triples the chances of success.

So the BBC, in all its wisdom gathers three smokers, and promises to follow them in their quest to stop smoking. At this point my ears prick up, and I await the item with baited breath that no longer smells like an ashtray.

Meet our smokers - Between the three of them, they actually smoke less than I did. One of them smokes one cigarette a day, and only if they go out to a bar. Is this really the best you can do BBC? Absolutely insulting. It's going to be a riveting series of news items watching these people busting their balls with managing to stop.

I think I will watch GMTV in future, even if it means I would have to endure Jenni Falconer. Yes, she does actually spell it with an "i" instead of a "y" and I bet when she signs it, she uses a massive circle to dot the "i".



  1. "Yes, she does actually spell it with an "i" instead of a "y" and I bet when she signs it, she uses a massive circle to dot the "i"."

    With a smiley face in the middle.

  2. and she wouldn't be quite so gauche as to suggest she is still from "the block"!!

  3. I'm not sure what my opinion of all this is, Foxi boi.

  4. sweet, sweet revenge...


  5. If the BBC were a football team I would sing their praises "all over this land". And yes the clock is ticking... soon it will be JULY 1ST and my anti-smoking vigilante group will be able to kick ass!

  6. HEY! Back in high school, I was Jenni-with-an-i as well!

    I used to sign mine with a cute little flower dotting the "i", or if it was a note to my boyfried, a little heart.

    So there! harumph