Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Ouch.

I love "shop banter".

It's a term I think I invented, and it relates to those brief over-the-counter encounters we all have with shop staff.

The best types of shop banter are usually to be found in smaller shops, which I imagine are staffed by someone you might consider to be the owner. Perhaps a newsagent or a fishmonger or even a hardware store?

I am desperately racking my tiny brain to remember where I had this poignant piece of shop banter.....

Time passes....

Cogs whirr......

Kettle goes on...... Coffee is made......

Cue cutaway scene of sun rising and setting and moon (all speeded up to signify the passing of weeks) replacing it, repeating over and over again like at the end of Evil Dead Three - Medieval Dead - Army of Darkness.

Bingo.....

Fox brushes the cobwebs from the keyboard and resumes typing......

Janet Green Photographic in Halifax - Obviously not the place to be buying photographic memories, is it now!!!!

I was looking at cameras in the week that I gave up smoking. It all kind of ties in nicely now.... in fact it all ties together so much better than when I actually started writing this blog.

Ok, so I stopped smoking, and I am telling this guy in the camera shop that the money I save is going towards a new camera. He tells me he used to smoke, and that he stopped, and now he always gets a sore throat.

So, how apt, that on my eight week anniversary of not smoking a cigarette, I've developed a sore throat, and was reminded of his comment, but couldn't remember who had told me.

I look in the medicine cupboard for something to ease the discomfort of having a cheese grater rammed sideways down my oesophagus. Strepsils.... Medicine for sore throats, or so they tell me.

I go the whole hog and take two. Not that I am greedy you understand, but all medicines in my experience are better doubled at the start.

Nonchalantly flipping the packet over..... Expires July 2005!!

Bugger.

5 comments:

  1. Think of all your tarred tubes gradually becoming healthy and pink. It's no surprise that there might be a little sore throat along the way but buggering a Huddersfield sheep is certainly no substitute for Strepsils!

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  2. You know what, me old fruitbat? I had exactly the same problem when I quit. Never had a cold, cough, sniffle or nothing. Then I quit the cigs and I was plagued with bouts of oesophagal inflamation for the following few months.

    I guess that when your throat is being constantly irritated by smoking your immune system is constantly trying to fight it. Then you quit, your body takes a well earned rest and then, when your guard is down, an army of bugs and viruses take advantage.

    If there's one thing that annoys me more than anything else it's the feeling that I have a frog in my throat.

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  3. Hate having a frog in nmy throat.... - isn't that what Jane Birkin said about Serge Gainsborough?

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  4. Hahaha poor you! Do those things ever expire thou? Hmmm sore throat for a week, or throat cancer for life? Keep it up non-smokin buddy!!! A much debated fact, listing to your Sabbath brought it to mind..In your opinion what was the 1st METAL band of all time? It is a much debated subject, I'm with Sabbath, in fact, I think a lot of metal is modelled LIKE Sabbath..sounds like it same riffs etc,they are metal gods, along with some other chosen ones. People often debate as well Zeplin or Floyd was the 1st heavy metal band..what do you think? They're all rock gods to me, with other few chosen ones as well of couse!
    katt

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  5. Thank you fox. Gargle some hot salt water for your sore throat.
    Cher

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