Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Oh to be in England.

Saint George's day just passed, grey and drizzly, snooker on the telly, and BNP leaflets through the door.

Yes, we're most definitely in England.

Strangely enough, it always makes me smile that BNP (British National Party) are the only wankers who will shove a leaflet through the door and then run off without so much as canvassing my hard earned vote. They are the only party I would actually like to knock on my door, so in return I could knock their effing blocks off!!

I think their PR guru missed a trick by not wrapping their bile ridden leaflets round a house brick and then throwing them through our windows as they drive by from some armoured vehicle.

I shouldn't moan, it's a democracy right? Seems a shame that the BNP come canvassing in a village where two of the three remaining shops are run by Asians, and I for one am VERY grateful for their services, and the fact that they don't observe christian holidays. I can always get a pint of milk or a curry when I need one.

Thirty one days without a cigarette. I am beginning to feel quite proud of this achievement. So far, I haven't smoked twelve hundred and forty cigarettes, and I haven't spent three hundred and twenty five pounds (650 USD; 725 CAD).

The only drawback of using nicotine lozenges, is a heightened state of extremely unpleasant flatulence. The comedy potential is enormous, and I am often found retching at my own astonishing pungency.

Don't think it will be too long now before I can afford the camera I am promising myself.

Right, I better be scooting along.... time's money on a Wednesday night, and I better get myself out of this funk, and into something a bit more presentable before I go round to see Dawn.

Manana bananas!!


  1. You haven't said which camera you're going to buy.

  2. Dawn must be delighted to have a chap whose kisses don't remind her of old ashtrays! Or does Dawn smoke? Next trick is to get off those bloody lozenges. You don't need em. Say to yourself "I AM A NON-SMOKER!" and mean it. It will be so great when July 1st comes and our pubs are rid of that foul-smelling fog.