Monday, April 16, 2007


The blogger you have installed is infected with a virus.

Please ensure you have all the relevant painkillers, vitamins, and disinfectants to hand.

I don't know what the hell I have had for the last few days.

First, I thought I had sunstroke. I was shaking, and hot, and then cold, and generally feeling like something bad was going to happen.

Next projectile vomiting - not something that happens to me too often, and I never relish the prospect of a bag of dried fruit trying to make a break for freedom down my nostrils.

Shortly followed by the sensation that every muscle, bone, and fibre of my pathetic existence had been microwaved and hung out to dry. A constant flu like feeling, similar to that of being repeatedly kicked in the scrotum.

I am on the mend now, but the occasional visits to the bathroom are still producing some distinctly unpleasant twists.

A body in turmoil. Thirty six emotionally and physically cataclysmic hours.

I am "baby sitting" my mum's house, while they visit my relatives in Scotland. Being ill, away from home, is not a pleasant experience. The chickens, cats, and sheep in these parts are non too sympathetic to my plight.

As part of any recovery from illness, I like to clean myself up, have a shave, a shower, a change of clothes, and a change of mood. I find I can only face these things when I feel better, and I like to think of it as changing out of my funk. It's usually a good sign when I actually WANT to shave!!

Well, right now, I think I am ready to wield the Gillette Mach 3 and get myself a shower.

I've been in the bloody wars lately.


  1. You have my sympathies. Now get away from me, in case it's contagious.

    Get well soon.

  2. Aw mate hope you feeling better!
    Oh and how did Tom do on his test???

  3. Additional instructions for feeling better whilst chez Jen:

    1. Assemble all four cats in a heap on your lap.

    2. Stroke them till they drool.

    3. Sit for several hours.

    4. Get up, brush off copious quantities of ginger hair.

    5. Repeat.

  4. Oi! Foxy! You from Lancashire or what? Moaning about a little head cold! Dontcha know we Tykes never moan about our health - well the women do but we blokes are hard, bloody hard and we wouldn't moan even if we had bloody typhoid, three slipped discs, leprosy and a fractured skull! Ye big girl's blouse!

  5. Oh no! That sounds terrible! I am sorry you have not been feeling well and I hope the worst is behind you now! Visualize your body building up antibodies to the virus that caused it... it can't hurt and maybe next time it will pass you by.

  6. Having just seen Sophia's comment I amazed to hear you have copious quantities of ginger hair. Where?

  7. Sending you a virtual bowl of hot chicken soup. I would send you a real bowl but by the time the mail had gotten it to you it would be bad. Don't think you need a bout of food poisoning to go with that flu.

  8. Okay, Spice, it's far too late/early to be laughing as much as I am, you hilariously literal creature, you. I shake my fist in a westerly direction as I contemplate the ruin of my attempts to settle down to a nice, gentle drift-off, at one with my snooze-nature.