Thursday, March 15, 2007

Crazy...

.... like a fox.

The world continues to astound me.

Oftentimes, I am reminded that I am simply an insignificant, taciturn cog, in some bloody screwball machinery. Today is no exception.

I've made reference in the past, to wondering whether my parents picked up the wrong baby when they left the hospital.... Sometimes, this feeling of being a misplaced entity, extends beyond family. Sometimes, I wonder whether I am actually of this world.

You only have to switch on the news, or read a paper, to get a taste of the madness.

Let's take this morning's news as a brief example...

Sandwiched together, and in no particular order, were the following "news" items.

Vicar, stabbed to death, died in his wife's arms.

Young girl hatched two ducklings from duck eggs!!

Olympics 2012 budget has quadrupled since the initial projection to 9.3 billion pounds (for the American friends, that's about 18 billion dollars).

After ten years research and development, a New York pizza chef has proudly unveiled a thousand dollar pizza. (for the English friends, that's about 516 pounds).

A 12 year old boy was arrested, after 17 pupils were shot with a ball-bearing gun, in a school playground.

Apart from anything else, I feel strangely disconnected from all of these worlds.

The presentation of these items does make me smile though. I always like to see a few fluffy animals mixed in with the death, murders, and political pontifications.

Perhaps Walt Disney was right about one thing, at least?

A spoonful of sugar really does help the medicine go down. I always find a handful of antacids, and a good dose of daytime TV help keep it down too!!!

At least we can rest assured now, that, as of the 15th March 2007, the following words are locked safely into the Oxford English Dictionary:

technopreneur,n.
scooby,n.
fuck-off,n.
pig-pile,v.
shit-eater,n.
Tae-Bo,n.
tighty-whities,n.

I don't even think I need to comment! In fact I think, without too much effort, I could make a fairly good sentence out of that little lot. In fact, there's a prize for any comment that can fit them all in!!

3 comments:

  1. Howzis? One sentence, even!

    The technopreneur’s tighty-whities looked like he’d been caught at the bottom of a massive playground pig-pile, as a result of having no scooby and fucking-off a shit-eater, who used him for Tae-Bo practice.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The technopreneur responsible for the development of the scooby has decided to fuck off to the pig pile, become a shit eater and practice tae-bo whilst wearing only tighty whities and accompanied by a soundtrack of light orchestral versions of Jimi Hendrix tunes.

    You have too much time on your hands, Fox.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The following horses will be running in the three thirty at Kempton where the going is descibed as "firm":-
    Technopreneur 2/1 favourite
    Scooby 3/1
    Fuck-Off 5/2
    Pig-Pile 10/1
    Shit-Eater 12/1
    Tae-Bo 50/1
    Tighty-Whities 100/1.
    Top jockey Arctic Fox from sunny Huddersfield will riding on Tighty-Whities and hoping that Dawn doesn't find out!

    ReplyDelete