Thursday, February 15, 2007

Dark days.

I've had a few VERY dark days lately. Even the weather is running parallel to my somberness. Waves of rain, of wind, of greyness, broken only by happier moments of sunshine. Tears and laughter, seemingly unprovoked to the casual observer.

Focus.

Nothing on earth can focus your mind like the events of this week. Finally, I am starting to find my silver lining.

I am most thankful to have shared times with Dan. Some most excellent formative years. I have even remembered our strongest bond, the possible topic of conversation on the beach at St. Cyrus.

Black sheep.

Both myself and Dan were undoubtedly our family's black sheep. If anyone could drag the family name through any mud at a given moment's notice, then it was the pair of us. We both took great joy in connecting over this. Two's company!! Forged in fire!!

I always admired the sense of family that Dan possessed. In fact, all three of my northern cousins have something that I have never innately possessed in that respect. It's something I am trying to work on, and have been trying for some time.

This week has been surreal in that I have had conversations and almost daily contact with family. The events that have drawn us together are neither desirable nor pleasant, but this for me is absolutely a good thing. I am sure Dan would approve of bringing the family together.

Last night I went to the pub. I raised my glass to my cousin, and drank some foaming Guinness. The next one was for the rest of my family. It helped in a small way, and finally, in bed, my mind was silent.

I'm not sure who I am writing my blog for anymore. Two cousins, yesterday, stopped by and commented. I hope they approve of the words that I write. Most importantly it's an important process for me.

3 comments:

  1. Black Sheep - yes indeed! Only the two black sheep of the family could lure me to a midnight showing of Godzilla when they are extremely stoned!! I never realised people found Godzilla so humourous...and the amount of sweets & popcorn you guys ate was unbelievable!! This was followed by countless games of Mariokart & many many jokes at my expense. The bullying was unbearable when you two were together!! Very fond memories which i will never forget...

    Tom

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  2. Fox - like many of the McPitchandWeaveforths, you are a catalyst, and a forger of connections - of thoughts, emotions, people. Whether or not we/others approve doesn't matter; you keep on scribing for your own good self. If others happen to get something out of it, it's a happy side benefit to the primary purpose. It's wonderful that you have this medium, and are open to using it.

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  3. Thinkin of you mate, keep in touch xxx

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