Monday, October 30, 2006

Oops!!

I've been a bad blogger. Missed a whole weekend of blogging fun and frolics.

On the flipside of this equation, I've been a busy old fox. Have had a house most overflowing, and a weekend to match.

Have managed to rake the leaves from the lawn - that bloody ash tree really needs some attention. It's bloody big, and it drops a bloody lot of leaves, for a bloody long time. The current windy clime of Huddersfield is most inconsiderate to this end.

Did some baking, with mixed results. Raspberry buns good, chocolate brownies bad. The buns were golden and of a nice texture. The brownies kinda went flat and overcooked, and stuck to the greaseproof paper, and although flavour was good, it will be a chore to eat them.

Finally plugged my Nintendo Gamecube into my lovely spanky new telly. The result, I am pleased to say, was good, good, good. Played a bit of Need For Speed (Most Wanted), some SSX On Tour, a bit of Tony Hawks, and for old time's sake, some XIII.

Went walking on sunday, and took a huge kitchen knife (with hastily crafted carboard cover), and a saw with me. Why? You may well ask!! The walk in question, took us through some prime woodland, and I fancied a stick to accompany me on the journey. I had read somewhere, that walking with a stick can reduce the impact on the knees by (up to) 25%.

I found a suitable stick and hacked and chopped it a bit. Most suitable and gentlemanly it was, until the dog bit it in half. The hastily crafted cardboard cover, of course, played its part, as I promptly sliced my hand in the process. Another hacking and slashing later, and I had my sturdy walking stick. A good walk was had by all, but note to self.... Next time I go walking, remember to put socks on before hiking boots. I only realised at the point of receiving my first blister that I had forgotten to wear socks. What an idiot.

In the vein of idiocy - Over the course of this weekend, I made the ultimate blunder. I went upstairs to my bedroom, tried the door, it wouldn't budge. I knew the window was open in the bedroom and figured that it must have blown shut, or perhaps something had fallen over and wedged itself behind the door. I summoned all my strength, and barged the door with my shoulder.... I think my shoulder gave more than the door... I rattled it, banged it, and generally tried to free it..... To no avail.

I went downstairs and assembled a pair of screwdrivers (because of course all my tools were actually IN the bedroom as a result of my addiction to assembling Ikea furniture) and went back to the door to prise it off the hinges or something. Fox + tools = Rambo on pcp! Of course, someone had beaten me to the door, and had promptly turned the handle and opened it.... I never knew the handle in my bedroom door even turned.... how about that?

I even got round to watching the great film - March of the Penguins - Which, incidentally, is about some penguins that go on a march... I can honestly say, it's a great film.

As previously mentioned, I have been assembling more Ikea furniture. I now have a bedside cabinet, to keep my bedside manner in!!

Within half an hour of blogging my disappointment with Yorkshire Water, they rang me back and made the required appointment. The power of blogging!!

In other news, I helped carve a pumpkin. In my days, when I was but a whipper-snapper, just knee high to the proverbial grasshopper, we used to carve turnips to make lanterns. I don't understand pumpkins. I don't like them, and I certainly don't want to eat them. The design achieved was satisfactory, but in comparison with these, I think we should revert back to our British turnip carving.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Funny old game....

Funny old game in't it?

What is?

Chess!

No, really, the world of blogging... Something I take very much for granted and with my usual flippant attitude. For others it's not just a means of splashing some random words across a page, but a matter of life, and more importantly, death too.

Amnesty are highlighting some cases of bloggers who are risking their very liberty, by expressing their views. You can read a bit more about it here.

I am not one to bang on, and preach about such political issues. I can't believe, in this day and age, that there are still regimes who believe they can suppress the views and opinions of their subjects.... We have the internet to thank for making such information freely available to us. If enough people keep trying, then eventually it will be unstoppable.

Keep the faith.

A few sites to bear in mind, in keeping with this theme:

Baghdad Burning

Reporters Sans Frontiers

Global Voices

Enough of that......

I haven't been doing much lately....

I am a busy fox, with my nose to the grindstone. I rarely get chance to lift my scabby septum from the spinning sandpaper. When I do come up for air, it is only to erect some shabby Ikea furniture, or to pay some bills.

My latest "foxism" - a trademarked word for the kind of disasters that follow me around - is that when I left Playboy Mansions on the 14th September, I forgot to cancel the phone line. Result: I now have to pay for someone else's phone calls!! I am a foxing idiot!

Note to self - Transfer the TV licence to my new address.

Ok, apologies for neglecting the blog a bit recently. I will endeavour to do better. I have a stack of films to watch this weekend, so hopefully I can settle down to a bit of television love!

Oh, and one last thing - Bloody Yorkshire Water company are REALLY pissing me off. I have phoned them every day this week to arrange a visit from one of their "field technicians". I have spent at least 7 hours in their effing phone queueing system this week. I wish them slow, painful death, whilst they listen to their on-hold muzak collection... all of 'em. Set of bastards!!

Ooops... rant over!!

Goodbye gringos!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Premature declaration.

Further to yesterday's statement, that my pyramid of Maslow's hierarchy of needs was now satisfied.... My house has now sprung a leak in the torrential downpour that continues, as I type!

The kitchen floor is wet, and further more, my desk is wet at work as the roof is also leaking there. It seems that God is crying on my head wherever I shall wander.

Oh goosey goosey gander!!

Pol: I don't know if you got my text or my emails, but the photo album you so desperately seek, is now available for you to view online. You can even buy bloody prints of them!!! How professional is that??

Pogo schmogo... new badge day today, and guess what... I completed the two badges on offer, in a record twenty five minutes!! Touch me, I am hot!!

I can hardly contain my excitement (can you detect the note of sarcasm in my writing?) that I am tonight visiting Ikealand AGAIN!! This time, with my mother, for some serious "rooting"! (Before y'all get the wrong impression, that's "rooting" as defined: v. intr. - To rummage for something: rooted around for a pencil in his cluttered office).

Ho hum, even my PC is turning against me now, and doing the most strange series of things you can imagine. It's cream-crackered I fear.

I better go get ready to hit the Swedish mecca!!

Au revoir!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Maslow's hierarchy of needs...

Now that my boiler is fixed... yippee.... my pyramid is complete!!

I am happy again... a little lighter in the pocket, but most definitely happy.

Pogo badges this week have been less than demanding, and I am now well in front again. I needed an easy Pogo week.

I am even going back to Ikea again... I think I am becoming domesticated!! Bugger!!

Not much to blog today really.... I am experiencing good (the boiler repair man) service... and bloody bad service (Sky Television and Yorkshire Water, who promptly kept me sat in a queue on the phone for an hour and then gave me a different number to ring). If it wouldn't bore you to tears, I might feel inclined to write about it.... I won't.

I am alive, I am warm, and bloody hell I am hungry...

Gonna go get me some scrambled eggs on toast... yum yum yum.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Bleak house.....

It was a dark and stormy night......

The house is cold, the water is cold, and I am loathed to even turn on the lights. I am experiencing some sort of sensory deprivation.

The boiler isn't gonna be fixed until tomorrow (if the part turns up, which of course I can't imagine for a foxing minute).

I am sitting in the cold and dark, feeling very isolated.

When you lose a service to your house, whether it be internet, electricity, gas, or indeed in this case, your boiler, things just don't feel right. I feel obliged to punish myself further, by shivering in the dark.

I hope this flaming part arrives tomorrow.

I have so much work to do, it's untrue.

See y'all soon.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

It never rains...

.... but it effing well rains a monsoon on my clean-shaven bonce!!

I HAD planned a very quiet, relaxed weekend.

In fact I will go as far as to say, I hadn't planned it, I hadn't planned anything... not a damn thing. I wanted to spend a little time getting acquainted with my (as yet) unloved television set that sits smiling quietly in the corner.

So... Friday night.... finished work.... went to Ikea (GRRRRR) and bought a bed for the spare room. Put the bed together (having finally worked out the Swedish instructions) and guess what.... 12:30am.

A nice start to my weekend, I am sure you will agree.

Saturday morning, I went to my mum's, bright and early, to collect my new remote control for my DVD player. Finally I was close to romancing the box. Or was I?

Stayed and chatted with the folks for a while.... mum decided it would be a good chance for her to come round to my house with me and tackle some of the junk in the back room.... Before you know it, it's 3pm and I am settling down to finally enjoy the TV.

I fell asleep.

Woke up at 4pm and felt cold. Went to switch the heating on, and the boiler is broken. All attempts to revive it have failed miserably.

And so, it's 5pm. I haven't watched a minute of TV yet.... and the heating engineer won't arrive until 10am tomorrow....

Boy, am I pissed off??

(I am doubly pissed off that nobody has commented on my blog for a couple of days too!! But lets not get into all that writer/reader/lurker name calling again!!)

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Randomize this!

1) I have to turn the cold tap on in the bathroom to make the shower work.

2) When I go out tonight, I need to take a pineapple slicer along with me.

3) When I go out tonight, I need to take my cheque book with me.

4) The moment I turned off the cold tap, after I showered, I forgot all the amusing, interesting, random facts I was going to write.

5) I am trying to buy a bed.

6) For my lunch, I went to an American/Italian diner, and ordered the Indian American - Which in layman's terms, is an onion bhaji sandwich!!

7) I am late going out because I am wracking my brains for things to write!

8) My ashtray is overflowing.

9) I've eaten too many sweets.... I feel sick.... oh, go on then, it'd be rude not to eat that last Reeses Cup!

10) Peanut butter is nice, but hazlenut butter contains far less saturated fat.

11) My teeth ache (still).

12) My backache has gone.

13) I need to get dressed. Blogging, wrapped in a towel, dripping on my keyboard, surrounded by smouldering paperwork, caused by the fire from my overflowing ashtray, is not a good look in anyone's book.

Unlucky for some!!

14) I listen to techno at work.

15) I play Nintendo DS whenever the opportunity arises.

16) This weekend I need to rake the leaves off my lawn.

Goodnight all.... now, where's that bloody pineapple slicer??

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Argh!!

Ok, I've got issues.... bloody loads of them.

Firstly, someone left the tap running in the bathroom/toilet/restroom (call it what you like) here at work AGAIN. It makes my blood boil.

Secondly, this is my week on the late shift.... Start at 10am every morning, and finish at 6pm, with an added bonus of one very late shift, where we finish at 9pm. Today is MY late, late shift.

Thirdly, I have toothache, which no doubt has been brought on by a weekend of excess!! Normally, after a BIG night out like last Friday, one of my front teeth where I previously had an abscess, will start to ache.... This time it's every tooth in my head!

Fourthly, the engineers who work out in the field (here at work), have (thanks to Si) discovered that we actually provide cover EVERY night until 9pm. This is an old arrangement, and I am sure most of the engineers had forgotten about it. Today is different. Last night the "on call" guy let slip that we are here until 9pm. I am standing by my phone eagerly awaiting the 8:55pm rush!!

Fifthly, due to my absence from work on Monday last, I now have a shorter week, into which I need to cram a greater amount of work. It's gonna be a close call, and I am stressed to the max - I guess this is why I have toothache.

Sixthly, a copy of Playboy, from the exact month of my birth, has mysteriously gone missing in the post from Germany!! I am effing gutted, even though the seller has agreed to halve the cost of the missing item. I feel robbed somehow.

Seventhly, see "things that went well....." item four. Oh no, it's an internal loop.... you are destined to spend all time in the moebius loop of my blog.

Ok, so gripes over......

Things that went well......

Erm.....

Bugger.... this is gonna be a really short list.

Firstly, my house is sparklingly clean. First time in a long time it's looked so damn good. I am loving being there.

Secondly, my Pogo badges for the week are all complete (which is fortunate, as the new ones come out today). Included in my total for last week, was the, by now, legendary Quick Quack badge. The first time Pogo has ever bowed to public pressure and actually extended the period allowed to achieve a badge - Instead of the usual week, they gave us three weeks - that's a reflection of how hard it was. I used ALL three weeks!!

Thirdly, my backache seems to have almost completely gone (the FoX raps his knuckles on his head and announces "touch wood"). I can honestly say, I am glad to see the back of it.... Geddit?? Eh?? Eh??

Fourthly, bollocks.... there isn't even four good things I can write about!!

End;

Phew, a crafty "End;" statement seems to have provided some sort of getout clause from that horrible loop I was in. It was like Groundhog Day for a minute there.... wait a minute, what year is this?? No. No. Oh God I slept too Long!! Hahahahahahah (Evil Dead 3 reference, in case you didn't geddit!!).

Happy hunting!!

Oh, and if you get chance.... Please nip over to see my mate "501" in his blog, which aims to chart his rise to the top, in the world of darts!!

I give to you a picture of the four kilogram bucket of sweet sugary crud that I took in to work today to share with my colleagues!!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Cheap blog entry....

Ok, so I am blogging about blogging.... Could you get any lower than that? In answer to my own rhetorical question, yes, you could!

Rather than type two blog entries today, I am only going to type one, and you will find it here.

Go ahead, be a part of history!!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Ouch!

Firstly, happy birthday to my sister!!

Secondly, unhappy backday to me!!

Woke up this morning, and couldn't even move. Not good. Day off work sick as a result. As the day's gone on, the back has of course eased up. Let's see if it still feels ok in the morning. Baths help a lot, but only while I am in them. I hardly got ANY sleep at all last night, because every time I turned over, the pain woke me up.

I need to tackle my mountain of paperwork, and my mountain of outstanding Pogo badges!!

Why is there never enough time to do the mundane things that need doing, which would free up some quality leisure time?? I guess this is why they call it the rat-race!!

Oh, and in other news, I finally lost my ring for good - you may remember I lost it temporarily last week, but it turned up again. This time it ain't coming back. I lost it in the end of a giant water chute, in seven feet of murky sticking plaster infested chlorine.

Bugger!!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

The loneliness....

... of the long distance blogger!!

Some days you have to wonder why you blog. The stats show, that everyone is having an exciting weekend, and they are all too (note the double "o") busy to (note the single "o") read blogs. Either that or my blog is so boring, that nobody wants to read it at all....

Undeterred, in the nature of Sid James and Charles Hawtry, I'll "carry on blogging".

Busy, busy, busy, Sunday.

Normally, Sunday for me is just a day of complete vegetation - That is to say, I vegetate as opposed to doing anything else with vegetatables!! Don't even go there.

Today, I've been swimming, including fooling around on water slides, I've been golfing (at the driving range at least), and I have been for a walk. I've been to the bowling club for a couple of pints, I've played Jenga, and dominoes, and now I am settling down, getting ready to have a shower.

All the above, have been done with the worst case of back ache imaginable. Each activity seemed like it might actually help my back somehow, by freeing it up. Alas, I am still suffering from crazy back spasms, and a stiff neck, which means that every time I need to look over my shoulder, my whole body has to turn, while my head stays still.... I look a fool! It hurts too!!

I think I might have a bath and try to relax the spasming (is that even a word?) muscles a bit!

And so, the day draws to a close, as I type the blog. I can see the floodlights on the bowling green from my window, and hear the sounds of people laughing and joking, and having a merry old time. My bath is calling..... and I bid you all adieu!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Few things...

Few things can compare to the feeling of introducing two sets of friends to each other, and finding they all really get along well.

It's a feeling similar to that of cooking a really nice meal, when the courses are all on time, and the flavours are fantastic.

Rewarding.

The venue, Boddingtons Brewery, Manchester. The event - Radio Soulwax and 2 many DJs dance extravaganza - capacity, 3000 sold out!!

I was stressed trying to coordinate and find people, but eventually everything came together, and it was a lovely night, in a pair of adjacent warehouses. I LOVE my mates!!

I'm looking forward to going to some more of these events - The Warehouse Project - before it all ends in January. Who knows, maybe I'll get some tickets for the Jeff Mills night?

The only downside was having to leave a bit early because of the trains back to Huddersfield. You can't have everything tho, and it's much better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Taxi back to train station, and a cup of tea in the cafe. Two old blokes (both of them in their sixties and seventies) started kicking off and spitting in each others faces. Now normally, it wouldn't really bother me too much, and I let people get on with whatever, whenever, but I had to step in. Calmed them both down and sent them on their way. Felt good. A random deed of kindness.... I had forgotten about that. Anyone remember the acts of kindness??

Train station, Huddersfield, I carried a woman's suitcase up the steps for her. Random act of kindness part two.... spread some random joy.

Tired, showered, bed.

Headache!!

Good night and well worth a visit for the experience if you can make it. Mebbe, if I can get my head together, I might post a few pics!!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday 13th.....

.... part snore!!

It's actually Friday 13th, and I am called Jason.... I am also very tired, but I don't own a hockey mask.

I am already getting the feeling that I should have stayed in bed... My bleary, runny eyes concurr.

I am going out in Manchester tonight with Pol and Chris.... Dancing and romancing!! I am SO looking forward to letting my hair down... Oh wait a minute, I've cut it all off... Let's just say, I will be freeing the follicles!

Last night's disappointment came in the shape of a computer that a friend wanted fixing. I am a man of much hoarding... I generally keep everything... I have just about every spare bit of kit required to fix every kind of imaginable problem. Until last night!! The computer and my friend arrived, and I'll be blowed, if the computer doesn't have a keyboard OR a mouse port on the motherboard... The whole thing is USB!

Now, I could rant on and on about the reasons why you should NEVER buy a computer from Dell, but this serves purely as a dirty great big nail in their dirty great big coffin. I have my reasons.... They're a bunch of charlatans, and I know for one, that the mighty Joe Peacock would agree, in his "blook" - Mentally incontinent!! Thanks to Google Books for the free reading material!!

I have never seen a computer that doesn't have a standard keyboard and mouse port!! Why would you do that?? To save a few pence on the motherboard?? Criminal!!

It's "knuckle down" day 'cos I've still got shed-loads of work to do... It's been a tough week!

As part of my ongoing "housekeeping" - I have added a new poll (look it's over there on the right!!) and archived the old poll. You can see my old polls here.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

D-Day...

Today I have an appointment with the bank manager!!

These meetings are rarely enjoyable, nor are they fair.

The bank manager generally holds all the aces, and when I ask him if he has any aces, he tells me to Go Fish!

Fingers crossed for a positive outcome, otherwise I might be looking for a new house, and THAT is something I just don't need at the moment.

I am still kicking myself about losing my ring and then finding it where I left it - The tricks your mind can play on you, eh? I would have sworn on my own life that I was wearing it, both yesterday morning AND the previous night!! It was also interesting that, having noticed it gone, I became preoccupied with the fact that my hand felt strange without it, and I was missing the worry bead aspect of it. Little did I know, it hadn't been there for 15 hours or so previously.

Minds are mad... I don't try to understand them anymore!!

New Pogo badges are out, and I have started them... Started being the operative word... There's still a long way to go. This week sees Jungle Gin, Penguin Blocks, and of course the ongoing killer badge Quick Quack Quick Shot Quack or whatever the hell it's called.

Busy, busy, busy at work and at home lately.... Things are piling up around me, and everyone who knows me will testify... When the going gets tough, I generally bury my head in the sands of procrastination.

Now you can't see the wood for the trees.... Now like anybody on their knees.... Far away enough to catch our breath.... Looking to click.... Picking up sticks!

Ok, it's official, my bank loves me, and I get to keep my house without any hassle at all - the paperwork is done and everythings smelling of Fox!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Thy quest hath ended!!

My search for a TV is finally over.

Ordered at lunch time on Monday... Delivered, installed, up and running, and watching House of Flying Daggers by 11am the following day.

It's a great TV... If anyone's looking for a relative bargain, then look no further... Due to the introduction of Philips' Pixel Plus 3 technology, their older Pixel Plus 2 stuff is going a little bit cheaper now, and believe me, there's nothing wrong with 2!!

Here's my TV.

I will say at this point, because I berate and moan about so many services and suppliers that I deal with, it's only fair to congratulate, when things go right. On that basis, I'd like to extend a Foxy four paw salute to the people at Empire Direct - Faultless, speedy, painless service!!

The TV even has an MP3 player built in, so when I plugged my memory stick in (that I was given last Friday at work) - Hey presto, within seconds, I was enjoying the soothing sounds of Jeff Mills with the Montpellier Philharmonic Orchestra - Superb!!

Lord, my blog's turning into an advert!!

I have an appointment with my bank manager tomorrow.... These things are never very good, but let's hope we can cut a deal.... More details to follow, watch this space.

My mum and Fred are in Scarborough for Fred's birthday - His 70th in fact!! I DO hope (after I booked the hotel and stuff for them) that everything's going ok... I DO know my mum will be suffering 'cos I booked a "no smoking" hotel - cruel, but I personally find the rooms are so much nicer when they're not dripping with tar!!

At least, now my preoccupation with getting a television has ended, I can knuckle down and concentrate on getting my life back into shape.....

Paperwork beckons (as always!!)

The nights are drawing in, and the mornings are dark now.... It's foggy, and drizzly, and distinctly October(ish).... Damp leaves and acorns soften footsteps. The birds are filling their bellies to make it through the coming cold spell.... Storing and consolidating.

Effing fecking - I have lost my ring... it was only a crappy sterling silver thing, but it was nice, and it had a lovely spinning section in the middle which was a bit like having your own worry beads with you all the time. It's gone, and now I am proper annoyed at myself!! Spoiled my good mood completely.

Post update, update: I found my ring, it was on the back of the sink in my bathroom... must have taken it off last night while I was having a shave - Funny, because I could have SWORN that I had it on when I got to work this morning. Ain't that surreal!?!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Television.....

.... Rules the nation!

Would you Adam and Eve it?

I am ONCE AGAIN waiting for that man.... you know the one.... the one with the bloody van, that has my fourth attempt at buying a television on it.

I have gone vastly over the budget that I had set myself, and this had better be the best goddamn TV I have ever clapped my bloodshot eyes upon. I bet you can guess what's going to happen if it isn't!!

I've finally opted for a Philips LCD (with ambilight) - The anticipation of unwrapping it and plugging it in to find out how great it is, is underwhelming to say the least!!

I am doing the first part of the waiting game today because I can't afford to take another day off work to sit in the house AGAIN. I will post more later, but just wanted to prepare you for the possible explosion in a blog factory later.

If you don't hear from me for a week, then you know the TV is good!!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Chuff a duck!!

At the risk of alienating my fellow bloggers and friends, I simply MUST get something off my chest....

I live in the Arctic... That's

a ... r .... C ... t .... i .... c .....

There's a C before the T in Arctic..... The most popular search that brings people to my blog is for "artic" and "artic fox".... I don't think Google even suggests "Did you mean: ARCTIC fox"?

And another one that bugs the hell out of me:

I've said this before, and I will say it again.... there are two distinct words:

1) To
2) Too

Example: I am going TO the zoo, you can come TOO!!!!

DO NOT MAKE ME SPIT BLOOD!!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Easy like what?

One mission, one goal, one objective.

That's all I had to do today, was to buy the advertised TV from the shop that is promoting it, at the price they have advertised it.

If you don't like bad language then you can skip the rest.... I still don't have a television to watch.

Woolworths are advertising a 32" Technosonic LCD television for £400. It's a cracking price, and the TV is just a Thompson TV rebadged, and the Thompson sells for nearly twice as much.

I made the special Sunday journey into town to the shop, and of course spent a fair old bit on the way to the shop, only to find that when I get there.... There is sure enough, the TV on display... Any in stock.... no way!!

Ok, I am bitterly disappointed, but there are a host of other Woolworths dotted around the vicinity. I go home and make a few calls.

Not only are the TVs not in stock, but none of the shops are ordering any more!!

Scandalous!!

So much for the big promotion.... Show me the television.... display it in the shop.... let me see it, touch it, wiggle the wires about, but of course don't carry any stock. This is one of my pet hates, and my bile has run over!

I cooked an early afternoon meal and went for a walk instead.

I have to say, all things considered, a coupe of hours walking is far more rewarding than watching TV.

I've trecked across muddy fields, country lanes, football fields, and a moonscape quarry, to watch an irridescent orange moonrise.

Priceless.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The unanswerable....

Woke up this morning, not knowing what day it was, or what planet I was on for that matter!! I got a bit drunk last night.

The eternal unanswerable question entered my mind: "What must I have been thinking to get so silly drunk?".

Well, to my surprise, the answer was in my back pocket.

And I quote:

"3 Pints of Guinness, 1 double gin and tonic, and a Baileys and amaretto. Three slices of toast with Marmite, 1 Marmite sandwich, and a chocolate mouse, I mean moose.... no definitely a mousse."

I effing well hope it wasn't a moose or a mouse, although it could defnitely explain the furry sensation in my mouth this morning.

Now, and I am not bragging about my drinking capabilities, this amount of alcohol wouldn't leave me feeling so bad, save for the fact that I managed it all in about a single hour!!

I am once again, waiting for the man.... with the van.... this time he is taking my TV away!!

Spice - I wish you were here too for that L.I.I.T. in Vox!!

Perhaps I will update later, but for now, coffee and Pogo are singing my name, very, VERY loudly!!

Evening update (in verse of some sort?!?):

i am, waiting for the man.
staying at home,
the man with a van.
wait by the phone.

he'll call me to say
but you know that he won't
that he's on his way
he could, but he don't

the AM arival goes past
and you know you'll be last
on the list
makes me pissed

eventually he's there
without worry or care
pick up or drop
my day's been a flop

finally the hangover's gone
and the telly's off to amazon!

would have saved lots of worries,
had I bought it from Currys!

Friday, October 06, 2006

That's why I've got....

.... Friday on my mind!

I'm sure that's a song.... Possibly by Gary Moore??? I am usually quite good at these things, but the week has taken such a toll on my mental capacity, that I am unable to even process it.

I'm looking forward to the weekend..... But I don't even know why.

I have loads of stuff to do at my house. The lawn needs cutting, and I have even bought a new lawnmower to take care of this arduous task. My bedroom is a pigsty. A courier is coming tomorrow to take away my shoddy televisual equipment. I have Pogo badges galore, to distract me from the real world issues that need tackling.

And so, you can see, there's nothing slightly interesting or exciting planned... Just a bit of ME time.

Ok, ok, I have had my first sip of coffee at work now, and before you all start commenting and starting a massive debate about the song.... I guess it's a Gary Moore song that I had mixed up with a Cure song in my tiny fragile mind - There's a line of shovels against the wall.... Take your pick!! Confused?? You will be.... Right after this!! Ah, the memories of Soap!!

A big, hearty, pat on the back to my good friend spice-the-cat for correctly identifying Mory Kante as my new blog tune - I effing love this song, and although Ahm doesn't like it (which is a shame), I am going to leave it here for a little while longer at least.

I just got given a half gigabyte memory stick at work for a ridiculous sketch that occured, involving a discussion with someone at the end of the office (about timesheets), which was conducted by us shouting to each other.... What a strange place to work!! I'm well chuffed, and am frantically stuffing loads of my mp3s on it to take home with me. I have just surprised myself with the fact that I currently have 11Gb of mp3s on the computer at work!!

Amongst my 11Gb of mp3s are: The Wurzels - Top of the Crops; Chas & Dave - The Very Best of; Daft Punk; New Order; Roger Sanchez; Jeff Mills (playing techno beats to a live philharmonic orchestra!!!!); Voivod; LFO (thanks Hodgy); KLF; and a zillion other generic dance compilations.

And so, maybe I'll get a pint of Guinness to ease me into the weekend.... who knows.

Let's hope it's a good one for everyone!!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Stats all folks....

Cue Woody Woodpecker's infectious laugh, which I wouldn't know how to spell even if I thought about it.

Especially for my cousin, Jo - here's a Woody woodpecker link - If you go to the site - Go into Woody's Arcade and select MATCH. Play the game and you'll see an old favourite character!!

Ok, Woody Woodpecker aside, the title of the blog was what I really meant to write about.

I am obsessed with my stats. I guess that having had a break from blogging for a while, and having let my reading figures trail off into obscurity, the prospect of turning round the reading trend is taking over.

I can't imagine how long it will be before I get back in touch with the audience I had before my little hiatus. I seem to remember I had about 1100 visitors a month.

I'll keep you posted.

I had forgotten all about the "Bloggies" and randomly stumbled back into their site through one of the 2005 winners. Here's the list of this year's winners, and there's some bloody good blog reading to be had here.

The power of blogging - I have managed to find my cousin Sophia, who lives in Canada. I must admit, I am particularly lazy when it comes to staying in touch with people, and I guess that's the reason I have been blogging for so long.... Go and say "hi" to a cousin I haven't seen in three decades!!

In other news:

My search for the Ajuga Arctic Fox plant is over - It turns out, that my mum already has the plant in her garden, and she's gonna split it for me - Result!!

My search for the Estonian translation of the word Ajuga is NOT over!! Very frustrating indeed - Thanks Kris!! X

My quest for my "quick quack" badge continues!! Relentless, ain't it??

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

All things bright and beautiful....

.... all foxes great and small.

There is a company in England that makes hats - Unfortunately for me, I can't find a website for them, and I am not about to start phoning them up to offer my services, either as website designer, or consultant.



It seems I am now a registered trademark, and about time too!!

I have also been trying to buy the following plant:

Ajuga Arctic Fox

But nobody has them in stock, I guess it's just not my season.

I'm now on Beta Blogger, which I always thought was something to do with your thyroid gland or something (perhaps not!). There's some snazzy new features, and I have to say that my first impressions are favourable. The fact that I can now categorise my blog postings should prove quite useful - Something that Blogger has been missing for too long.

At this point, I feel it is necessary to add a bit of yang to all this bloody ying stuff, and get a couple of gripes off me chest.

Firstly.... What the eff is wrong with people?? I know this seems like a bit of an open ended and large topic for debate, but if you will bear with me for a second longer, then I will elaborate.

What the eff is wrong with people, that they have to leave taps running? In visiting the bathroom / toilet / restroom / cloakroom / little boys room / call it what you want, it has become apparent to me that, on finding the "room" completely empty, someone has left either the cold tap / faucet or the hot one, in a state of open / on.

How can this be?

You turn on the tap, you wash your hands, you turn off the tap, you dry your hands - It's not bloody difficult is it?? Do these same people manage to come to work without their shoes on, or wearing teacosies on their heads by mistake??

Grrrr

Secondly, what the eff is wrong with people.... and so on.... humour me, ok?

I get plenty of visitors to my little blog, and although I know I've neglected you recently, I am promising to return to form and to amuse and regale you with tales of adventures on the high seas... ok, low seas, alright.... from the bath.

I spend time adding new music for you to listen to, bring you new polling booths, and a guestbook, and in return, what happens?? Bloody lurkers, that's what!! They came, they saw, they effed off without even leaving a paw print.... Are you all ninjas or something??

Ok, gripe over.... the Beta Bloggers are kicking in.

Played more Gulo Gulo last night..... I am loving it!!

For those of you that know about it - Quick Quack badge is killing me!!
Gulo Gulo....

My new board game has arrived, and I have had, not one, but two opportunities to play it. I played last night with both my mum and my uncle - both have been known to immerse themselves in board games with me before - and I was pleasantly surprised at the fun level of this simple egg stealing game. So much fun was had that I managed to sneak another game during a late night soiree.

I thank an old and departed friend Banjo Bob, possibly the most mysterious mentor a child could ever have - allegedly he was an alien brought to this planet to study human behaviour - more often than not, to be found studying behaviour in the Prospect inn at Longwood (Banjo Bob even taught me to swim) for introducing the word soiree into my vocabulary at an early age - It's a lovely evocative word, and truth be known, I spent my childhood looking forward to the time when I might be able to partake in such activities.

Banjo Bob taught me to play cribbage too, and for such a great gift, I will be eternally thankful.

I never really got a chance to thank ole Banjo for his friendship when I was an "ankle biting rugrat" - So now I am doing it.

So, the Gulo Gulo, is good, and attains a FoXy fun rating of 8.5 out of 10 - Sometimes the simplest things really ARE the best. A good lesson in life.

In other news....

I bought a new monitor for my computer in my new bloodstained office space. It's lovely, and I take time out every evening to give it a little kiss. I know it's wrong to enjoy possessions to this extent, but who cares?? Have a looksee here.

I am sending my new television back to Amazon - The picture quality has been troubling me somewhat, and I thank the lord for distance selling policy that allows me to send the item back, purely on the basis that it does not meet my expectations. I just need to make a phone call to the courier to arrange pick-up. Oh, yes, of course I still have to box the bloody huge thing back up, and my back still hasn't recovered from unpacking it yet!!

Play some board games with your folks, share a bit of proper fun-time with them - When the cash register of life finally adds up the bill, I am sure you'll all be glad you shared the experience together.

This post is dedicated to my memories of Banjo Bob - A true player of games: Mud in your eye, blue!

Monday, October 02, 2006

Bleeding hands....

A weekend of pain, and no pleasure - A rare experience for me.

I assembled the new Ikea (hack, cough, spit, and other tourettes sounds) desk, and drawer unit (which incidentally was of the lowest possible quality, was cracked, split and generally poor - but I would not dare to venture back there to have another day stolen from me whilst trying to get a replacement panel).

I got out my new (from Staples - whose failure to carry any decent desks in the first place, which resulted in my miserable trip to Ikea on Saturday) office chair, and began the assembly. It was a tricky job with silly "allen key" bolts. Approximately four bolts from completion, one of them refused to go in. I tugged a little bit too hard, and "ping" - the thermometer reached the top like you've seen in so many Tom and Jerry cartoons before, and the glass shattered, pouring molten lava everywhere, as the bolt sheered clean in two.

A nice shiny silver peg was left laughing at me, embedded in the base of the chair, with no way in and no way out. Of course, it had taken me so long to assemble all this two-bit furniture, that the shop was closed and there was nothing I could do.

My office would not be complete on Saturday.

For light relief (I can look back and laugh now) I decided it might be a better to idea to tackle the shelves that needed attention. All I needed to do, was to take some old warped wooden shelving off its original angle brackets, and apply the new wood to the brackets. Simple??

Well, the brackets wouldn't come out of the slots in the rails. There was three years worth of dust and cat hair on the shelves. The screws which held the brackets and wood together had all been inserted with a seemingly diamond tipped screwdriver that had ripped the heads of the screws into perfect circles, thus rendering them impossible to remove. The brackets were bent and twisted.

It took effing ages, but I finally got it all done.

I've been putting screws in and out, and twisting allen key bolts, and bending metal and wood into unnatural shapes with my bare hands for the best part of a day, and the fingertips are transformed into pieces of tenderised veal.

My hands are the tools of my trade - blisters DO NOT make for good typing!!

Short blog!!