Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy halloween!



Oh bollo.... the pumpkin is supposed to be animated.... hang on..... fox disappears to work it out. Ok, I've fixed it, but there's nothing worse than stealing a bad animated gif.... I coulda made it a quarter of the size.... there's so much wasted space round it.... I'm never happy!! Ok, I'm happy now, I've trimmed the animated gif, and optimised it a bit.... coulda been a little bit better, but I can live with it.

I stocked up on sweets for the happy halloween brigade.

The thing about England, compared to America, is that trick or treating is not nearly as popular here.

The nature of British trick or treat is quite simple in England... in the bronx, where I used to live, the trick would have consisted of anything from:

Strapping fireworks to your pets and blowing them up.
Pouring petrol through your letter box and lighting it while you sleep.
Burning your car.
At best, flour and eggs down the front of the house, your car, and your pets.

In the sticks, where I live now, the kids are not streetwise at all, the are in fact streetnaive!!

A trio of young girls called trick or treating tonight (and believe me that is the entire congregation that will be calling). Dressed as witches, and carrying pumpkin lantern, they offered me up. "Trick or treat?". I was about to dash inside and get them some treats, when it suddenly occurred to me that this might not be the only option.

"Now just hang on a minute..... what's the trick?" I asked.

They looked at me like I was an effing lunatic, paused for a moment. "Nowt" they replied in unison.

I gave them a bag of sweets each just out of sheer amazement at their lack of planning.

How much nicer it is to have reasonable kids who don't consider a halloween costume to consist of a hooded top, trainers, jeans, and a can of petrol!!

It was a good move coming to this house.

All in all, it's not been a bad day today. Things are looking up in the fox's lair.

Michelle surprised me in her own halloween costume... complete with collar, bell, and cat's ears... I leave the rest to your vivid imagination. I was playing Pogo so didn't look up for very long.

Cool thing for today:

Ok, it's definitely an over 18 link, but it's a great collection of vintage porn... very cool!! I particularly enjoyed the advert at the top of the page for the "fleshlight".... I haven't laughed so much in a long time!!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Sixes and sevens.

Good grief, I have missed another blog day.... I am really starting to slip up.

'Tis Sunday, and truth beknown, I have somewhat of a hangover. Didn't drink particularly copious amounts last evening, but I feel very rough today. I suspect the Schneider Weiss?? Mebbe it was the mojito? Could it have been a Corona? Even an Erdinger? Likely it was long island iced tea!!

Didn't really get up to much yesterday, just bummed about in the house in my underpants for the best part of the day while Michelle went into town to do a bit of shopping. I played a few Gamecube games, a little bit of Pogo, chatted to a few people online, stressed over the fact that my paperwork is now two months out of date. Didn't stress enough to actually tackle it yet though!!

Went round to chez spice and had a quick rant about digital photography, inspired by my site that I linked to in yesterday's post. I am thinking seriously about doing a photography course.

Michelle has me trying to buy some bloody Oreos from somewhere now.... of course they can't be the inferior ones manufactured under licence in England, they HAVE to be the American ones, imported!!

I've been into town this morning and collected my car from last evening... did a bit of shopping, and now it's time to kick back and watch Goodbye Mr. Chips - a classic old black and white!!

Cool thing for today:

Sweets from around the globe.

Friday, October 28, 2005

When good blogs attack!!

Ooops!!

The fox was awoken most rudely in a state of panic. The first thought that flashed through my mind this morning at 7:30am, was that I forgot to type a blog entry for Friday. A sense of guilt and shame washed over me. I rubbed my eyes and fell out of bed. I crawl down the stairs on hands and knees. Light a cigarette. Look at the monitor, and it burns my eyes. Quick check of the emails, nothing new, other than two dozen items of spam. Blog.

I didn't do very much on Friday.

I worked, played some Nintendo, had some lovely fish and chips (a real Friday teatime treat), played a bit of Pogo, watched some TV, fell asleep on the sofa.

Fox's mind starts to click into gear. Second cigarette of the morning is working wonders. That's why I didn't get to do an entry for Friday, I fell asleep. Michelle woke me up, and I managed to drink a glass of beer and shuffle upstairs without even properly waking up.

One thing I DID do today was explore a new website I found. I rarely find fantastic new websites these days, especially free ones. This site is different in that it's both free and fantastic. The site is all about digital photography, and runs themed competitions. Some of the photos on there are both amazing AND for sale!!

I found my new site, whilst researching "bokeh" - thanks spice!!

There is a big database of past competitions, and I found the most darling picture of a greyhound called Stanley Pie in the "pet portrait" section. I want a better camera and a greyhound now!!

Cool thing for today:

Digital photography competition archive - I effing love this site!! Make sure you find the pet portraits and bokeh competitions - the second place bokeh is gorgeous!!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Calling all Japanese Gamecube owners!!

I am desperately seeking a Japanese Gamecube game - Winning Eleven 6 - Somebody out there must have it and not want it. I will pay cash for it, honestly!! I have even bought a Freeloader disc in anticipation of said football game landing squarely in my lap. The game as far as I am aware was only ever released for the Gamecube in Japan, so come on my friends, do me the honour!!

Boredom and spending go squarely hand in hand for me. I am constantly spending money on the internet. I need to stop buying stuff!! It's in my nature I guess... see yesterday, I am 94% materialist!! Need more stuff!!

I am currently trying to finish my bingo badge on Pogo (fox groans) - I have one eye on my cards and the other on my blog.... going cross-eyed!!

It's the most glorious Autumn day here today. Pushing 22 or 23 degrees in parts of the country. It is certainly unseasonally warm outside. Driving to work this morning I could have wept. The mist rising from the fields was exactly the reason I recently started toting my camera around with me. I need the picture. Well of course I didn't have the camera with me today!! One tale a guy at work told me today made me laugh. It is so warm outside today, that his windows had actually steamed up on the outside! How unBritish of him!!

I couldn't help myself today, I bought a fishing game for my Gamecube. For those of you who know my gaming habits, you will be well aware that I have a strange penchant for piscatorial pleasures. I hope it's as good as Super Black Bass used to be on the SNES. Bless the SNES, and my SuperWildCard - it was a neat box that let you copy your games onto floppy disk... I had hundreds... they are upstairs under my bed somewhere. I resolve to dig it out and play Unirally again.

Someone has a bingo.... yeah, good one Pogo, it isn't me though is it?? At least I got my jackpot spin (the requirement for the badge is 40 spins).

I thought someone was breaking into my house just now.... ran downstairs to see what was going on... it's Michelle, finished work early. Panic over.

Cool thing for today:

Oh, how I covet my neighbours Space Duel machine!!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Chuff a duck!

I have "ranted" about this before, so I will spare your ears and eyes, other than to say:

I effing HATE questionnaires, and blog bits, like what kind of Pokemon am I? Or, other similar useless info tidbits. Well, I seem to plagiarising spice so much lately, that today should be no exception.

The test results attached are my personality, drawn from a strange, yet reassuringly complex series of questions. I will discuss the results in a bit more detail after you've viewed the results.

You scored as Existentialist.
Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility.

Existentialist

94%

Materialist

94%

Postmodernist

69%

Cultural Creative

63%

Romanticist

56%

Modernist

50%

Idealist

19%

Fundamentalist

13%

I am trying to sort this formatting out but it's all going a bit Pete Tong!!

Never mind.... suffice to say this is the first personality assesment that I have ever completely agreed with... nuff said!!

Fox out!!

Cool thing for today:

This entry is so poor, that it doesn't warrant anything cool at all!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Begorra!!

I have tried to stay away from controversial topics of discussion today. I realise that not everyone will agree with me on many of my views, and I find somehow, the expression of strong socio-political views through my blog, to be a cheapening experience really. I never started blogging to discuss news topics or current affairs. There are one million and one blogs and websites out there already that do it far better than I ever could.

It was just a rant. Nothing more, and nothing less. Not to be taken seriously or to be offensive. That goes for the whole of my blog really.

Having considered spice's eBay auction for a professional blog writer, I invested a little bit of time myself into researching a few of the craziest auctions I could find.... I was amused. Perhaps you will be too??

Come on lads, she's only cheap!!
Girls, fill your boots!
I sure hope the hair is from her head!!
We all need one of these.

Ok, well there were more, but those were the ones I remember. One guy wants to come and do odd jobs for a hundred pounds a day, but it must fit in with his shift pattern.... what the??

Michelle is full of cold, she's sniffling, hacking, snooting and coughing her way round the house, but refuses to take a day off work. She's effing mental!! I am getting dosed up on vitamins and Beecham's powders in anticipation.

I've burnt my arm on the grill... silly boy!! It happened a couple of days ago, and I keep rubbing it on the table as I type and it's rubbed it all sore and watery. Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is on TV and I've seen it before.... damn you to the kitchen of hell Channel 4!!

I'm munching on Reese's Cups. I loves 'em. Need more coffee.

I've done my Pogo badges for the week. I haven't done any of the important things that I should be doing. I have played far too much SSX and am thinking about buying the new version, amongst many other titles. I almost shelled out on a £4000 television today... what am I thinking?

Right, enough's enough! I am having one last SSX session and I am off to bedfordshire!

Cool thing for today:

I effing love badgers.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Can I have a house too?

On the way home from work today, having put in the best part of a ten hour shift, and it being Monday, and the fact that it was dark when I arrived at work, and it was dark when I left work, and I have career doubts on top, you can imagine I was not in the most sympathetic of moods.

On the radio there was a lady discussing her problem with moving up the council housing chain. She has four children, and lives in a two bedroom house, oh, and a husband too. Apparently the councils are not building enough low rent family homes to accomodate people who find themselves in this situation.

Now, pardon me just a cotton picking minute. Did the thought that they might be running out of space by the second child not occur to them? Should breeding like rabbits automatically qualify you for a better home? Have they never heard of family planning? I tell you, straight and simple, she ought to be sterilised!!

I'm not normally moved to such anger over an article, but the thought of my local taxes going to pay to move such short sighted people up an increasingly treacherous property ladder, is too much to bear.

The price of houses in this country is already stretched to bursting point. I struggled to get the money to buy my own house, and I earn a comparitively decent wage. I don't have any kids, mainly because I don't consider myself to be responsible enough. I understand that this choice is mine, but in all honesty, if I can get a better house by throwing caution to the wind, then I might be tempted to buy a chinese baby on eBay!!

What is this world coming to??

In other news.... the world continues to bite our collective asses. Bombs in Baghdad. Riots in Birmingham. The craziest storm season in America, resulting in the National Hurricane Centre running out of its 21 pre-allocated storm names, and resorting to greek letters!! Bird flu is heading our way. Fuel crises around the globe. The list goes on....

So, would I be wrong to assume that the problem is simply one of too many people, consuming too many goods, using too many resources, in too little space. So, the solution is simple, we must all put pressure on our local councils to colonise another planet, and then we can all have bigger house.... in fact, eff it, let's have a frikking planet each!!

Cool thing for today:

Stake your frikking claim now, and hope some family of forty three will get desperate - there must surely be gold in them thar hills.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Lazy bones, sleeping in the sun...

I had loads of stuff I wanted to do this weekend, and there are no prizes for guessing how much of it I actually got done.

Manana banana... always manana.... never do today what you can put off until tomorrow!!

I sometimes amaze myself with the level of apathy I am capable of.

See yesterday's post for full details.... exactly!! There wasn't one!!

I resolve to be on best behaviour tis week, and to be more productive.

One thing I HAVE done this weekend is watched a lot of films....

Gremlins
Starsky and Hutch
Pulp Fiction
Big trouble in little China

... to name but a few (the ones I immediately remember)

I totally enjoyed Starsky and Hutch... I thought it was very true to the orignial series, but managed to take a few key memorable moments from the series and put its own twist on them. Quite cleverly done really.

I might have an early night tonight and start watching some Eerie Indiana episodes.

I DID rake the leaves off the lawn at one point... a splendid job, well done!

I also tried out my tripod, and managed to achieve one photograph that I have been unable to achieve before. I've always loved ferns. We have a lot of ferens in the garden, it's all a bit woddland glade style. The very fractal nature of ferns and their fronds, is one of life's miracles in my book. I have wanted a nice close-up, but the stupid autofocus never quite works right or it's too shaky. Well here it is. Enjoy.

Well, this After Eight ice cream isn't going to eat itself... time for me to get my act together and think about the impending sense of Monday morning that's about to wash over me!!

Have a great day muchachos... be good, and if you can't be good, be careful!!

Cool thing for today:

Sorry Ahm, I stole this from you.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Inspiration:

I'm looking for it. Continually.

Where does it come from? More importantly, where does it go? Surely there are enough sights and sounds every day for each and everyone of us to fill a whole book, never mind a simple blog entry.

It's Friday evening. Work is finished for the week. I somehow find myself thinking about work, which is exactly the thing I have been trying to achieve all week!! Irony.

Perhaps it's because Spice has been writing about work this week that I am now contemplating my own position with regards to employment?

I know Spice, and his work ethics. I DID work in the same company for a while. I can see how Spice has/had a connection with the company, the product, the and employees. He's (been) lucky in that. Myself, I have never seen beyond the data level. I hardly ever speak to someone outside of my department. I have been working at a bank for three years now (admittedly on contract, on several different projects) and to be honest, I couldn't even tell you what the current interest rate is. I am disconnected from people and products. My world is strange.

Consider data for a moment. It's just a magnetic pattern on a hard disk drive somewhere. I never actually get to physically see the data, nor do I even see the actual disk drives. People have spent years forging their own particular collection of magnetic patterns. They are very attached to it. Mostly they can't function without it, and everyone in the company would have you believe that THEIR magnetic pattern is THE most important, and without it the company could not exist.

For the most part, my job is to ascertain which magnetic patterns belong to which person. I group the people together, and then group their magnetic patterns into one collective magnetic pattern, where each person can only see this pattern, or that pattern, rarely the whole pattern.

Surely, the concept of making a living out of moving magnets about is not just abstract to me?

Uh oh, career crisis!!

I often wonder about changing career, but with such a good living knocking at my door, at what point is it prudent to do so? The prospect of joining the career ladder at the bottom, in a new field is quite daunting. How many people find themselves in this same position I wonder.

I knew I should have been a baker!!

Cool thing for today:

Not so much a link, as a downright fact. I forgot to post this entry. I saved the draft, and fell asleep.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Retail therapy.

I'm a sucker for a purchase.

Sometimes, nothing else will do. I need to consume.

Today, at lunchtime, I had the urge to buy something other than lunch. Somehow, lunch was not enough to keep me entertained or occupied. What to buy??

I went in the market and had a browse. I went to the second hand games shop and examined every possible Gamecube game on offer, both new and second hand. Nothing seemed to fit the bill.

Having resigned myself to the fact that I probably wasn't going to find anything that excited me enough to part with my money, I set of for the sandwich shop.

Now, there's a funny thing about Halifax (where I work). It probably has one of the worst centres for impulse shopping on the face of the earth. The market is nice and quaint, but the stalls lack some imagination. The rest of the shops, well, choice is somewhat limited. It's like a scaled down version of Huddersfield if that's possible.

Walking past a camera shop, I spotted the object of my desire, and walked in.

A full five minutes later, I walked out, being the proud owner of a new tripod.

Now, you might wonder why I am telling you this, and I might wonder that myself to be honest.

It's the therapy.

Does anyone else share this impulsive urge to buy things? What sort of things are you inclined to buy, and under what circumstances are you most likely to feel the need to purchase?

I find a sense of satisfaction in shopping. I admit, by my mum's and Aunty's shopping standards, I am but a mere novice. I have been told I am a good shopper though, whatever that means.

I felt a sense of relaxation wash over me the minute I had transacted the deal, and then doubly so when I bought a piece of spinach, feta, and cherry tomato quiche from the food therapy shop. Believe me, real men DO eat quiche, but only when it's homemade and has a wholemeal base!!

I have had several annoying instances recently when I have tried to photograph something, and the camera can't hack it. Close ups are too shaky. Long exposures are horrendous. Now I can rest easy, knowing I came, I saw, and I consumed, and my close ups should be rock steady now. Prepare yourselves for a rash of photos in my upcoming blogs.

I MUST say, how happy I am to see "Bah Humbug" taking a commanding lead in my online poll. I can't wait to cancel this year's festivities!!

Cool thing of the day:

Can't stop shopping. My next purchase may emanate from this site!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Manic Miner!

Yes, you've probably guessed, the Gamecube HAS taken over. I'm a manic maniac!! Hours and hours of relentless snowboarding, buying bits of snowboarding kit, and trying to pull those elusive tricky moves... How the hell would I know how to pull an indy 360 off the out of bounds ramp?? I just mash all the buttons at once with my gibbon paws!! No finesse.

So, consequently, I haven't visited any blogs, have hardly had time to write my own blog, and only managed a ten minute stint on Animal Crossing, where I finally got the golden shovel!! Woohoo indeed!!

I must say a big "thank you" to Gary, who has supplied me with a number of DVDs today, that is too great to even mention.... "oh, go on", I hear you cry... well to actually list them all would constitute and entire blog entry, and as such, if I SSX too much tomorrow then that's what you might get. Forewarned is forearmed.

All day long I've been thinking about Gromit and his cheese!!

I need some sleep!

Nothing much to reports really.... perhaps a picture?

>wait

.... Time passes .....

Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold!!

>look

You look around you. You are in the lounge. There is a TV in the corner, and a Gamecube. There is a door to the North. A camera is flashing on the table, as if it's transferring data, but it appears to be broken.

>switch off camera

You cannot switch off the camera

>examine TV

There is a second rate movie - Starship Troopers showing.

>examine camera

It appears to be broken

As if by magic, I seem to have fixed things.... normal service is resumed.

Ok, here's a picture of my most recent blu=tack creation. It appears to be a penguin drinking a can of coke, sitting under a parasol. I can't explain why. The things your mind gets up to when you find yourself whiling away some quality work time. Anyway, there it is. Camera hiccoughs aside, I bring you glorious technicolour blogging. What a bargain.

Right, it is way past my bedtime. Wrap it up.

>north

You go North. You are on the landing. Visible exits are North, South, East and West.

>sleep

.... Time passes ....

Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold!!

Cool thing for today:

Go on, play some Hobbit... it's good for your soul.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Cracking bit of cheese Gromit!

Well, we started our evening with garlic bread (yes, garlic AND bread) and then had a cheesy pizza. Our evening wound up with the fabulous Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were Rabbit. I have to say it was thoroughly enjoyable. Cheeeeeeeeeese!!

Michelle would like to say thanks to everyone in blogland for their hugs and birthday wishes. She's had a grand night.

I've seen some effing AWFUL film trailers tonight. Chicken Little looks VERY poor. Ice Age 2 looks ok, if that's your bag.... personally I didn't much care for the first one, other than the little squirrel thing and the acorn. There's a new Jumanji type movie, Zathura or something it's called, which is basically Jumanji but with a different board game. I also saw a lame ass trailer for some animated animal thing called Over the Hedge. Suffice to say, I'll wait to see them on Sky.

Well, ok, most of the Birthdays are out of the way now, and I need to start exercising again and riding my bike... I've put weight back on!!

It's a short entry. Got to get me some quality home time. Smoke and a cuppa, and a bit of TV, then some serious shut-eye. I've been yawning and droopy eyed all day. That will teach me to wake Michelle up on her birthday by flashing all the lights and singing and jumping up and down on the bed!

I can't stop myself from playing SSX3 on the Gamecube. I totally love it. My old save game has quite a lot of the game completed, but all the hard bits are still left to do, and it's truly enough to drive someone nuts... namely me!! I was even playing it this morning at 5:30am before I went to work!!

Don't forget, there's a new poll this week, and as christmas trees have already started appearing in the shops here, I thought it might as well at least be topical. Get your voting fingers twitching daily now. Don't blame me if "Bah Humbug" wins and we have to cancel it this year!!

Cool thing for today:

Feed some starving folks!! - it's free you only have to click the button.

Monday, October 17, 2005

I must be going soft in my old age.

It's true, yesterday's mojito induced blog was a bit soft, and wholly out of character for the Fox. Normal service will be resumed at the earliest opportunity.

Today's a bit of a picture oriented blog.

I have updated the Previous Polls section with the results of all your ideal dates. Suffice to say, the lovely (but fooking mentalist) Mariah Carey on acid stormed the charts and won the hearts and minds of Joe Blogreader. Kev, Specifically for your pleasure (and every other red-blooded male) I am including a lovely little picture of the gorgeous Mariah... well you would, wouldn't you? The other thing I would like to say about this latest poll, is thanks Jen, you saved me from a fate worse than Robbie Williams or Kate Winslet - who both received zero votes!! Shame on you all for casting them into the eternal pit of damnation, and straight into the open arms of the Arctic Fox's own personal room 101.

I did promise to bring you a picture of the aforementioned 40th birthday cake, crafted by the hands of my good lady Michelle. Here it is in all its abstract glory... the icing is reminiscent of Michelle's earlier works, diplaying naievity in its use of colour and form. Don't forget that you can click on each image within my blog to see the full size image (or the previous polls section for that matter), in fact, I urge you to click on everything you see here, just in case something magical happens. If anyone happens to stumble across a crock of gold or wins the lottery as a result of clicking on everything, then I want a share, ok? Thanks


Autumn - I've been kicking bronzed fallen leaves about for a few days now, and decided to take a little photograph as a tribute to; autumn in all its glory; Huddersfield's finer aspect - outdoors, greenery, and the eternal circle of life; Andy Goldsworthy!! I love autumn. My favourite time of year. Just walking about and seeing the cloak of autumn descending over the trees reminds me of bonfire night, and treacle toffee, and baked potatoes with cheesy beans. Oh, to be in England, now that Autumn's here!! (Arctic Fox 2005).

Well, that kind of wraps me up for today. The stress of aligning photos and text on Blogger is a serious pain in the whatnot!! Hope you enjoyed my pics and words, and that you'll come back soon for more!!

PS: Oh, bugger, I've just realised that I've bust my link to previous polls.... please bear with me.

Cool thing for today:

Guess what movie I am taking Michelle to see tomorrow for her birthday treat?

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Crack the whip.

The blog is a cruel bitch. She's a mistress of pleasure and pain. You never get to decide which you're going to receive until you sit down to type.

Today is pain!! Secretly I like it.

I've been out since about 1pm until just now 9pm at my sister's 40th birthday party in Huddersfield, drinking Guinness and mojitos. A recipe for disaster!!

I really can't be bothered to blog much. Stay tuned for tomorrow, when it will be far more comprehensive. I need sleep.

Michelle's cake was received gratefully by all... to the extent that neither my sister, nor Michelle even got to eat a piece of it before it was all snaffled.

When we got home, I iced some little cake pieces with "I heart U" for Michelle to compensate for her cake deprivation.

Met up with a childhood sweetheart at my sister's birthday. Very strange experience. I haven't seen Paula since I was about sixteen or seventeen years old. She was my first grown-up girlfriend at high school aged twelve or thirteen. To be honest, this afternoon, I was tongue tied and actually blushing. Quite novel really.

Well, I can't sit about here typing all night. There's spliff to smoke, and bed with my name written all over it.

Fox tips his hat... Waves goodnight, and blesses all teenage sweethearts the world over!! First loves really DO have a special place. God bless girls!!

Cool thing for today:

Mojito land!!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Cake. It's a made up drug!

So says Bernard Manning!!

It's been a right royal day of home activities today.

Got up real early, and did my usual blog-patrol and smoked a few cigs.

Went back to bed and slept until about 11am - This is very unusual for me. I don't really do lie-ins. I am usually far too busy doing nothing to sleep.

Had some breakfast. It's been really foggy and dank outside all day. The spiders webs in the garden have been dew jewelled and quite tangible. Soft sodden leaves steadily falling from my great ash tree. Fog muffled sounds and the background hiss of tyres on wet roads. I raked the lawn of the autumnal foliage. It was a battle with no end. It doesn't look much better now with two bin liners of leaves removed.

Michelle's task for today, was to bake a cake. Not just any old cake. My mum rented some numeral tins to make a cake for my sister's 40th birthday. The first attempt (and Michelle's breaking point) resulted in an oven full of cake, and a zero cake with not much left in it.

I steadied the ship, and we methodically lined the tins with greaseproof paper.

I left Michelle to it, and subsequently heard several oven timers ring out.

We've just turned out the cakes and put them onto a silver platter. They look very good indeed. I will post pictures, perhaps tomorrow.

I'm hot now, and very tired. Uncomfortable, restless.

The laptop is freaking out with loads of hard drive crashes, and it's driving me nuts.

Spice: Loved your T-shirt suggestion. Go to the Huddersfield Blogs page and let Abdul know about your blog - Even after you go to Canada, you're still a Huddersfield blogger at heart.

Kev: Pogo is free, but there are exclusive sections for those prepared to pay. I can supply a five day pass to let you see them.

Well, the weekend blogging hiatus is upon us... not many updates, not many readers, not many comments. I wish my life was more exctiting that I didn't have time to blog!!

Cool thing for the day:

We are top of the league, said we are top of the league!!

Friday, October 14, 2005

T-Shirt slogans.

I have a few ideas for good slogans on shirts....


  • Hoof Hearted?
  • Whale Oil Beef Hooked!!
  • Iced Ink!!
My, how we laughed!

The final piece of my birthday present from Michelle arrived today. She's bought me the complete Eerie Indiana DVD boxset. I have been searching for this (on and off admittedly) for a long time. I didn't even know they DID a complete box, as I've only seen the odd episode crop up on eBay. I am thrilled.

Got a busy old weekend going on this weekend, hope I get chance to keep up to my blogging!!

Personal challenge marathon on Pogo has gone well. I finished five whole badges this week. My 2003 collection is finally complete! If anyone wants to join up to Pogo then head on over, sign up and drop a pogo email to wevzyboy through the messages option. I will grant you a free five day pass to the exclusive members only section.

I got a visit from another website to my blog today... The site in question is a blog that just contains links to other Huddersfield Blogs. Inspiringly enough, it's called Huddersfield Blogs!! I am quite honoured to be a "feature" on another site, but heck, what must your average person think when they stumble into my regular rantings?? If you ever wanted to know anything about bloggers in Huddersfield, then head on over.

It's a shame I don't have anything worth saying in my blog that people would be generally interested in. I don't really have a purpose for my blog other than to collect a few of my ideas for a bit of fun. If I want to read witty political debate, or catch up on the news, then there are a zillion websites out there to read, I couldn't possibly compete with either quantity or quality of these other sites.

I guess what you get here, is just a random rant.

The mayor of Animal Crossing came to my house and gave me a golden fishing rod. He is a tortoise with a top hat, and he's called Tortimer!! Go figure! I now have a fish shaped weather vane on the top of my little house. Animal Crossing has to be one of the most bizarre games ever invented. It's "real-time" and the months and seasons coincide with reality. The shop has proper opening hours. The creatures conform to set daily routines and stuff. It's a flipping weird virtual ecosystem. I've been playing it for a year, and still haven't caught all the insects. I don't have a full art collection either. Oh, the stress.

In case you didn't work it out, there isn't really any point to the game of Animal Crossing. There are no real missions or objectives. The point of the game is to keep your village in good condition. Be nice to the other creatures. Keep a clean and tidy house. Have fun!!

Today's addition to my blu-tack menagerie, was a penguin, sitting under an umbrella drinking a can of coke. My talents are wasted... well something's wasted. I shall endeavour to capture a photo of said object d'art for your delight and delectation. I took one on my phone today, but don't know what the quality will be like, or indeed the whereabouts of my phone.

Right, well, I guess that's about it, so get out there and print some of my T-shirt slogans, and make a fortune selling them on eBay.

Cool thing for today:

Huddersfield Blogs - Good, simple idea.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Let the games begin!

First, I got my Gamecube swapped (under warranty) and it was none too painful.

Then, I came home switched on the Gamecube, loaded Animal Crossing and caught the last species of fish in the whole game - A feat I have been trying to achieve for twelve months!!

Then, I played some Pogo. It's personal challenge marathon week, so in addition to the two standard badges, you can pick three badges that you missed the first time round. I polished off the two standard badges, and did half of each of the other two. They launched a new game thisw week called QWERTY, which is a bit like scrabble... I am a demon at all word games!! Watch the blood flow, the Fox is on the prowl.

I am a happy and gamed-out Fox.... So much so, that I haven't visited any of your blogs, and nearly forgot to update my own!!

I'm very happy at getting my Gamecube swapped. They even gave me the new joystick in return for my old knackered one. Fox tips his head back and laughs out loud.

Other than that, not much doing. The documentation I have been working on at work has reached semi-completion and has been sent off to the communications team for "prettying up" - believe me it was fugly as chuff!! Wretched screenshots and little graphics and stuff everywhere, alignment all to pieces, and generally it looked a bit like my blog!!

Ha Ha thud... Fox laughs his head off.

Right, the shortest blog in the history of the Fox... I am cutting, showering, and running to bed... Might just play some more Pogo first? Like you didn't expect THAT!!

Cool thing for today:

UNICEF bombed the Smurfs??? Some might say, not a moment too late!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Bleep!

This morning when I stumbled out of bed at the ungodly hour of 6am, all was quiet, all was dark.

I settled myself in front of my piercingly bright laptop screen (I left the laptop running a naughty auto-clicker on Pogo playing a slot machine for Michelle) and began my early morning blog-crawl.

Bleep.

As I surfed through all the blogs I read and comment on daily, I become accutely aware of a recurring sound.

Bleep.

What the frik... It's quite windy out, and the phone wires run directly through my trees. I imagine the sound is caused by the trees rattling the wires and bleeping on the phones or something.

Bleep.

I got to work, in the hope that:
a) I have a good day.
b) I will be home at the earliest opportunity.
c) The frikking bleeping will have stopped when I come home.

At 4:30pm I leave work.

I walk through my door at 5pm.

Bleep.

Dammit. I ignore the bleep and make a coffee. I come upstairs and sit down at the laptop.

Bleep.

I can't ignore it any longer. I am going to ring the phone company and get them to check out the line. First to track where the bleep is coming from.

Bleep.

I sit down and time the bleeps... forty second intervals EXACTLY!!

Bleep.

I examine all the phone sockets, make sure everything is plugged correctly, all connections are good.

Bleep.

It doesn't matter where I stand the bleep always seems to be coming from another room.

Bleep.

I wait by each phone in succession waiting for the bleep. It's not here... Next phone... Not here....

Bleep.

I finally track it down to a smoke detector at the top of the stairs which connects the lounge, the study, the bathroom, the stairs, and the kitchen. In disgust, I rip out the failing battery and prepare to burn to death.

Silence. Bliss!!

In response to a few people who have noticed that I get "spam" comments in my blog: Yes, I'm well aware of it. There is a way to stop it, but it involves me putting a little security step into the comment procedure, which would require everyone to enter a code that appears as a little graphic. This procedure stops the robots from spamming my comments. Personally, the spam comments amuse me, but for my next poll, I will ask whether people would mind this extra step and see what happens.

Cool thing for today:

Call me a geek, but this rocks!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Two down, three to go!

It's the end of Tuesday, and I am wishing my life away again waiting for the weekend.

I took a mountain of cakes into work today (unfortunately none of the home made variety) which were surplus birthday cakes from over the last day or so. Mostly they got eaten!! I work with hogs!!

Note to self, must watch the fabulous Rob Brydon's Supernova tonight on BBC2 at 10pm. Cool, I've just set a series link on my lovely SKY+ box, which will record every episode of the series.... Now, that's magic!!

Now, where was I before I got sidetracked by my TV?

Who cares??

Ok, I've added to my lovely blog. I changed the current poll booth, and archived the old polls into their own page with a permalink under the polling booth. If you haven't figured out already, you can only vote once per day, so cast your votes wisely and often please.

Don't forget, if you haven't already signed my lovely guestbook, then where the frik have you been... Sign it now, you slacker!!

Not much really happening... I did spend a lovely evening last night. The folks came round and Fred opened his presents and was thrilled with them. Riv and Len came round and we watched the Hudds Town V Bradford footie match - amazingly Hudds won 2-1.... We were on the edge of our seats... Good game, good game!!

This morning, as I set of to work, the unusually mild October morning that greeted me was pink and fluffy. I snapped a pic with my phone (sorry spice) which didn't quite capture the colour but captured the mood nicely... Red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning!! I'm sure you get the idea anyway. I just coiuldn't be bothered to unlock the house again and find my proper camera. Strangely enough, last week I carried the camera with me everywhere in case such an occasion arose. Sod's law dictated it didn't.

Cool Thing for today:

It's a sun clock... how lovely.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Poll Results.

This is where I will log all the previous polls.

My glass is: Result - Overflowing. (Sept 2007 - Oct 2007) - Well, isn't this exciting? The end of my first "Blogger" style polling booth. I am pleased to report that all you lovely readers are an optimistic bunch!! Well done!!


Today is a?: Result - Bath day. (May 2007 - Sept 2007) - What a rubbish poll, what a rubbish result, what a waste of a polling booth. I need to innovate. Apologies for a tired thing dragging on for far too long.


Chocolate?: Result - Hate it. (Jan 2007 - May 2007) - It looks like my polling booth has finally fallen by the wayside. I can't for a single minute imagine that fifty percent of the people who pass through my blog hate chocolate. To be honest I am thinking of retiring the polling booth.


Feeling Lucky?: Result - Always. (Dec 2006 - Jan 2007) - Seems approximately fifty percent of the readership feels permanently lucky. What does that mean for the rest of us poor buggers? We can't all be lucky all the time, there's got to be some contrast. Woe is me.


War in Iraq: Result - It made things worse. (Oct - Dec 2006) - A surprisingly close result. I had guessed that nobody would believe anything other than the war had made things worse. Just goes to show how wrong you can be.


Take me: Result - From behind?? (Sep - Oct 2006) - After a bright start "Dancin' naked in the rain" lost out to the uphill gardening variety. You're a bunch of depraved puppies, that's all I can say. If you email me in your addresses, I'll be round presently to fulfill the requests.


Smoking?: Result - No smoke no joke! (Apr - Sep 2006) - Ok well, I let this one run a little too long. Apologies, it won't happen again. Conclusive enough, that in the age of the "nanny state" and the banning of smoking in SO many public spaces, it would appear that this is the correct thing to do.


How blue are you?: Result - Positively Pink!! (Mar-Apr 2006) - Well it's official, after trailing its way into spring, the momentum switched from blue to pink, and nearly half my readership now find themselves in a good mood!! Well done everyone!!


Take a cake?: Result - Chocolate!!. (Feb 2006) - Chocolate cake wins... I am disappointed. Christmas cake no votes.... Cheesecake languishing in second... What's the world coming to??


Today is a good day?: Result - It surely is!!. (Jan/Feb 2006) - I am surprised. Nearly half of the votes were for a good day. Extra surprising that the 24th January is officially the most depressing day of the year, and 6th February is the official "sick day of the year" when most people throw a wobbly from work.


Which came first? The chicken, or the egg??: Result - Egg. (Jan 2006) - This is a difficult question. I think those of a religious nature would go for chicken, and those of a more Darwinian nature, would go for egg. Maybe I am over simplifying this?


New Year's resolutions: Result - I will always love the fox. (Dec 2005) - You people are crazy... lovely, but firmly crazy. I am astonished that nobody actually admits to making and sticking to a resolution.


Did you click my "cool thing for today"?: Result - Never. (Dec 2005) - Makes you wonder why you bother sometimes don't it?


Career advice to Fox: Result - Be a dolphin. (Nov/Dec 2005) - I always aspired to be a dolphin, it was the profession I always wanted to pursue. Maybe y'all have given me the push I needed to make it happen.


This morning when I woke up.... I thought....: Result - I wish I went to bed earlier (Nov 2005) - I really thought "Where's my cigs?" was going to win, alas, it's an early night for me.


The Fox offers you a coffee: Result - Large Mocha (Oct/Nov 2005) - Pleasing result, I'm more than happy to buy these coffees.... see you all in Huddersfield on Sunday morning.... the drinks are on me!


Christmas?: Result - Think of baby Jesus!! (Oct 2005) - Very disappointing result for me, meaning I now have to begin my christmas shopping!


Ideal date?: Result - The lovely Mariah Carey on acid! (Oct 2005)


Animal of the month: Result - Hedgehog (Oct 2005)


If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?: Result - That's so inappropriate! (Sept 2005)
'Tis the season of many birthdays!

Every year, at about this time, in fact at exactly this time, my family's birthday season has begun. There's more than I can cope with, or afford for that matter.

I don't enjoy my own birthday, and I am damned if I am going to enjoy anyone else's either!!

Happy Birthday to Fred and Daniel today!!

In my opinion, only one thing is worse than birthdays, and that's christmas. I abhor christmas, and I refuse to spell it with a capital "C" too!!

Ebeneezer I am!!

Anyway, now that we've established that I hate such trivial things as christmas and birthdays, on with the show....

I totally spent yesterday overdosing on Kung Fu movies... It was a great day for this reason alone. If my DVD player in the bedroom had coped better with the dodgy DVDs, I woulda stayed in bed and watched them all there. Alas, it was not to be.

Shaolin Soccer - A right good humoured royal romp. This film really had me laughing. Very funny special effects, a totally thin plot, but very funny martial arts scenes. I love the ridiculous skills of the characters, like Iron Vest, who has an iron stomach it seems, he can fire a football with his stomach with the strength of a cannonball. The chick who does Tai Chi bread making was way cool.

Kung Fu Hustle - Hot diggity, one rarely gets the pleasure of watching so good a movie. I'm not going to spoil the plot or anything, but through the course of this extremely well written comedy, the martial arts moves become wilder and wilder. I thought I had laughed watching Shaolin Soccer until I started watching this. by the end of the ffilm, I was jumping up and down on the sofa screaming with delight as the moves became more and more outrageous. Fan-flipping-tastic. If you haven't seen it, then put it on your "to-do" list, today.

Ong Bak - Back onto a serious note here. This film uses no special effects. It's all real Muay Thai fighting. It's a bit like waiting for a car crash to happen, sort of like watching a snuff movie, in that you want bigger and better moves, but you know these dudes are getting whacked!! Man, some of that stuff has to hurt. The plot was a little on the "thin" side, I didn't really get the point, but it's really well made, and a great action flick. If it's a toss up, then see Hustle!!

Boy, I haven't seen THAT much Chop-Sockey in one day for a long long time. It's great to see comedy Kung Fu that's so well done.

In other news.... Perhaps my Nintendo is still under warranty. If Michelle can find the receipt, then the Robert is my father's brother. In fact, with no word of a lie, Robert is actually my mother's sister's Husband!! How many times a day do you get to use two words concurrently in one sentence with possessive apostrophes in them?? Even if it doesn't get fixed, I am happy to have used that last sentence.

Erm... Where was I going with this??

Monday at work, and seems everyone has a severe case of clinical depression and/or idle-itis! Personally, it's nice to be able to share such feelings with other people. Normally I have to endure such feelings on my own. Every day!!

Graphics card update.... I am in the market for a new graphics card. I hate buying bits for computers. I hate computers full stop. I am going to run myself a bath, and practice being a dolphin, get myself ready for a serious career change. In a few years I'll be forty, and nobody works in computers at that age unless they are permanent employees.

Right, time for dolphin actions, coffee, some food, and some Pogo (on Michelle's behalf - she still has this week's badges to finish).

See ya all soon.

Cool thing for today:

Who needs enemies when you have friends like this?

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Angry fox!!

Ok, so you asked for the return of the angry fox, and you're gonna damn well get it.

I have been eagerly awaiting the release on Black and White 2 - The original was a funky game that uses "mouse gestures" for the controls, so you don't need to use a keyboard. The game designer is Peter Molyneaux, and he is a game God! Well, it's finally here, and I spent all morning installing the four CD's that it comes on. I managed to screw up the install towards the end of disk three, and started again.

Everything installed, and I sit down, and prepare to lose the next two weeks immersed in training and building activities, and the art of creature management.

You probably guessed by now, that this wasn't going to go too well!!

My video card does not support "pixel shader 1.1" so I can forget about that one!! What the frik pixel shader 1.1 is, and why I should care is another matter.

Deprived of some new gaming action, I turn to the trusty Nintendo Gamecube - I still have three insect types and one type of fish to capture to complete the sets on Animal Crossing.

Disc error!!

Dammit, I try a different game.

Disc error!!

The gaming Gods are truly against me today.

I am one pissed off fox.

Ok, so what's left... Paperwork.

Instead of having a great and exciting fun filled day of pure gaming ecstacy, I am relegated to doing my damn paperwork.

How the mighty have fallen.

Cool thing for today:

Highlight of my day.... What a day!!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Questionnaires!

1) Name something that really gets your goat!: Blog questionnaires!

2) Do you look like someone famous?: Right now I look like Angry Kid!

3) Have you ever vandalized someone's blog?: No, but the thought is appealing... I've left several nasty comments though!!

4) What is the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?: The sheep try to run away!

5) What really turns you off?: Blog questionnaires!

6) Do you speak any other languages?: I speak fluent typonese!

7) What magazines do you read?: Razzle, Big 'Uns, and Gun Mart.

8) Do you watch MTV?: No, but sitting here typing is giving me DVT!

9) Do you like Michael Jackson?: Only when I was a small child! He doesn't call any more!!

10) Has anyone you were really close to passed away?: Well I was once waiting for a bus and the woman behind me was quite close... Someone told me she's dead now, but I don't believe them!

11) Name some people who are NOT allowed to do this quiz: Everybody, anybody, somebody, and nobody!!

Damn, I hate questionnaires so much... Can you tell??

The problem I have with questionnaires specifically, is that they deprive me of people's creativity. I mean, sure it's great to read facts and figures about blogging buddies and stuff, I even did my own "Foxy Factfile" earlier this week, but it wasn't done in the style of an interview!!

Some days, blogging is easy, we all have great days when bizarre or funny things happen, and it makes great blog material.

Other days, the blogging is hard. I sometimes sit down and have nothing to write about. This is only natural. Not every day can be a barnstorming blogging extravaganza. The days when I have less to actually write about have been some of the days when I have pulled a proverbial blogging rabbit out of my blogging top hat!!

To me, the questionnaires have a viral quality... One person starts, everyone follows... It's nothing short of herd mentality, and it's about as much fun as email spam (which I ranted about previously).

Oh, well, I'm ranting to myself now, as I imagine everyone who has succumbed to the "dark side" and filled in the current rash of questions will have long since fluttered off to read someone else's answers...

Rant over... You can relax.

Coll thing for today:

Here's a little picture of a Blu-Tack model I made to brighten up my working area. Before you ask, it's an arctic fox of course!!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Success??

Why does it matter to me whether people read my blog or whether they post comments or take part in my online polling??

I don't think it does to be honest.

It does, however, disappoint me to find that I've had 30 visitors during the day and only three people have bothered to comment. It feels like a silent vote of no-confidence in my writing abilities somehow.

I have spoken to various people about this issue during my (approximately) three years of blogging. Writing a blog is not about the readers, it's about the blogger. I guess we all have an innate desire to be accepted, to be loved, to be a part of a clan, a tribe, a valuable member of society.

The problem with blogging, and by blogging, I mean regular (daily) posting, is that people rarely trawl back through more than a couple of days worth of posts. Some of my finest writings have been and gone, and unless you caught them, you will only be judging me on the last day or so. The day before yesterday was one of my finest writings since "random shopping" in my humble opinion. The upshot of such a creative blast (or inactive period of other sorts allowing me more time to focus on "constructing" an entry rather than just rambling), is that the following day is always a struggle to match up to the standard set.

I don't take the lack of comments personally. I know people are reading or stumbling across my blog with regular frequency. I still feel deflated by the lack of feedback though. Don't ask why. I guess the answers are all embedded in this entry somewhere.

I worked a thirteen and a half hour day today.... I'm tired, hungry, and need a shower, and I'm sat here typing a bloody blog.... What does that tell you.

I came across an interesting chap today/yesterday through his love of Ronnie Barker.... He has a blog, and mebbe I will post the link at some point when I can find a bit of time. The upshot is, he lives in Canada, and used to live in Bradford, just a few miles from me, and he recently bought something on eBay from Huddersfield, and we've had a couple of emails back and forth. Imagine my surprise, when this chap emails me a flipping novel that he has been writing. Splendid!!

One of the most amazing people I ever met online had written an ebook, and now I can say that I know two internet publishers whose books I have thoroughly enjoyed. The power of blogging, and coincidence, and humanity truly are amazing sometimes.

Note to self, must explore more new blogs.

Cool thing for today:

Never bite off more than you can chew.... it could be messy!!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Burnout!!

After yesterday's prodigious example, there's not really much I can say to follow it. I'll try....

Woohoo.... All my new bike bits have arrived. I've got a Minuora Swing Arm and a Cateye wireless cycle computer. Excitement level ten.

Bemusement sets in. You need a degree in engineering to fit the swing arm. Took me about half an hour, and a piece of sellotape to make up for the pair of hands that I am evidently missing.

Double bemusement, when the cycle computer has an instruction sheet which is the size of a tablecloth, and is printed in about forty languages and the print is so small I can't even read it. Where's my binoculars?

Now my swing arm is fitted, I am gonna be doing a fair bit more night riding... can't wait.

Must study computer instructions!

I spent most of the afternoon and night trying to get my new Pogo badges... Double deuce poker and checkers... A right old drag.

A big thanks to everyone who made it through to my guestbook and polling booth. Some of you may have guessed, the poll was in no way serious. What it DID do, is allow me to gauge the settings to use, and to make sure it works. It does, and I'm disappointed nobody would hold their body against me... Doesn't Michelle read this blog, or did I miss something??

I am changing the poll today, so you can all have another crack at it... You lucky people.

In big news today... Kristiine made it across to the "dark side" today!! Congrats. ... insert news noise here...... Fox finally found Sandi's blog, and it's on MSN, come to the dark side Sandi ..... more news noise ...... Yesterday was my new record blog viewing day, with a total of fifty visitors, serving some 75 individual pages ......

Life's good.... It'll be even better when October's rash of family birthdays is over and done with, it's costing me a fortune. Things'll be looking up when I finally figure out my cycle computer too... How I love statistics!!

Right, time to don the old smoking jacket, and smoke my pipe.

G'night all!

Cool thing for today:

A Two Ronnies Sketch (copyrights are being infringed, and I don't care!!)

Ronnie Corbett: Good evening! It's wonderful to be back with you again, isn't it, Ronnie?
Ronnie Barker: Indeed it is. And in a packed programme tonight, I shall be having a word with a man who goes in for meditation, because he thinks it's better than sitting around doing nothing.
Ronnie Corbett: And we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with The Hatchback of Notre Dame.
Ronnie Barker: And we had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion. But first, the news: The House of Commons was sealed off today after police chased an escaped lunatic through the front door during Prime Minister's question time. A spokesman at Scotland Yard said it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Ronnie Corbett: West Mersea police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.
Ronnie Barker: Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred "Chuckles" Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred's jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.
Ronnie Corbett: Latest on the bullion robbery: At Wansforth Police Station, a man who's as deaf as a post, and doesn't speak english, with a terrible stutter, bad breath and squeaky shoes, is not helping the police with their inquiries one little bit.
Ronnie Barker: At London's Heathrow, senior customs officer Seaforth Mumbly retired today. He shook hands with passengers passing through the customs, and confiscated a gold watch for himself.
Ronnie Corbett: There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done.
Ronnie Barker: The search for the man who terrorizes nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow.
Ronnie Corbett: Finally, it was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men. Laurel and Hardy.
Ronnie Barker: And now a sketch, featuring Mr Ronnie Corbett, whose wife tries not to bring out the beast in him, because she's afraid of mice.

In memory of the genius of Ronnie Barker (1929 - 2005)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Luxury vacation for the first person to read this.....

First and most importantly: Spare a thought and a prayer for the passing of one of the funniest men of all time. Ronnie Barker. Ronnie died at home (yesterday), peacefully, following a long period of heart troubles. My memories of childhood and indeed adulthood (I still watch Open All Hours and Porridge reruns - weeping with laughter) are tinged with the colour that this great comedian gave us. Roll on a massive season of Ronnie Barker reruns on the BBC - I await it with tears of sadness and a heart full of joy. Thanks for the laughs Ronnie!!

Ok, self promotion again... it's becoming a habit, but it seems nobody notices my new "features" unless I specifically point them out!! Remember, the blog is SUPPOSED to be dynamic, fluid, liquid, it has many faces, and can change at a moment's notice. I am keen to expand my little blogging empire as much as I can. I like to try to introduce little elements that make people click things. Last time it was the "guestbook" over there on the right hand side... A few people actually went ahead and signed it. It looks good, you can use little smilie faces in it and it even gives you a little flag from your country.... it's very sweet, but then what do you expect from the Fox?

Dammit, a whole day ago, I added a "polling booth" and so far, not one single person has used it!! (except me testing it of course!!). C'mon folks wakey wakey rise and shine, the early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!! Don't make me blow my own trumpet again.... it plays havoc with my neck!!

Foxy factfile:

a) I have been bitten by three dogs in my lifetime, and knocked to the ground by a dog once!!
b) I have no desire to find "old school friends" through "friends reunited"!
c) I have felt like I was instantly going to die, approximately four times!!
d) My random acts of kindness sort of spontaneously stopped.
e) My mobile phone has too many features, and the ones I want to use are rubbish. It is the size of a housebrick!
f) I am still searching for my elusive talent.
g) I smoke TOO many cigarettes.
h) I don't drink alcohol very often, but when I do, I don't do it carefully!
i) I have a sort of addictive tendency. Whatever I get involved in, there are no half measures, it's all or nothing, baby!
j) If I wasn't the spitting image of my dad, I would swear that my family picked up the wrong baby!!
k) Why do lurkers annoy me so.... sign something instead of creeping round with your slippers on.
l) I watch films. I'm quite critical of them. I hate Hollywood's standard fodder.
m) I haven't exercised for 20 years. A week ago (for my 37th birthday) I managed a 40 mile bike ride and climbed over two mountains!
n) I hate alarm clocks, they put me in such a bad mood.
o) I work to live. I do not live to work.
p) Pretentious?? Moi??
q) I took magic mushrooms when I was 13, and every subsequent season until I was in my mid twenties. I wouldn't even consider taking them now.
r) The first single I ever bought was an opaque purple vinyl 7" of ELO's "Sweet Talkin' Woman".
s) The second single I bought was a pink vinyl 7" of Squeeze "Cool For Cats".
t) I can't live without mouthwash!!
u) Last thing I bought online was a Minuora swing arm!!
v) Tax... I hate paying it, and hate doing the paperwork.
w) I am one lazy blogger.
x) I am the world's worst vegetarian. I used to be strictly vegan.
y) If I was on death row, and could order a final meal... it would be crispy duck pancakes. Yes, I know!!
z) This was the hardest blog entry ever!! (so far it's taken me about 4 hours!!)

Some responses, which I am notoriously bad at keeping up with:

Mr. Hodge: Yes, how ironic that the first comment, and for that matter the first comment(s) nearly every day in my lovely blog are total spam. The term Trucking Factoring lends itself to the great spoonerism that has something to do with Tractoring!! It is great to have your company on my blog though mister. Your presence in Hudds is missed by this fox!!

Kev: Tomatoes, you're right, they make be SO angry. Have you ever noticed that, if you buy a cheese and tomato sandwich, and the cheese is touching the tomato, it sort of bleaches the cheese, man!! It makes the bread go soggy. The tomatoes we get in England are dire... all water and no flavour. (Fox waves his hand) MSN is not the blog tool you are looking for.... The force is strong, but together we can rule this puny planet!!

Spoilechile: Trinidad and Tobago - Now that sounds like a dream for us dreary Brits!! I am always more than happy to welcome a new face to my space, but especially as you've brought a new country with you. Welcome, pull up a chair, can I get you a drink?

Jen: Viruses and viral spoofs are equally annoying as chain spam. I've cleaned up my fair share of viruses over the years. It is believed that the first viruses ever written originated in the Eastern Bloc (possibly Bulgaria or Hungary, I don't remember). The concept was, that the IT staff would be paid even if the systems were down, and they couldn't work. They got paid so little that they realised the best way was to "engineer" a system outage!! Hey presto!!

Regan: Brutal honesty... you took the words right out of my mouth. "brutal honesty" is one of my favourite expressions.

Crystal: There is no direct way to actually "categorise" blogger entries, but I will tell you this much (don't tell everyone or they will all want one)... there is some sort of fudgey workaround if you can be bothered. It involves having a blog for each category, and a master blog I think.... hang on, I am sure someone can explain this better than me... (Fox disappears into the undergrowth of the interweb, foraging for information nuggets).... (Fox returns amazed at the quality of the information he has turned up)... This page teaches you, not only how to make categories, but how to automate the process!! Don't say I never give you anything: Damn, I am SO good!!

Cool thing for today:

A quick question. The penny black was the first adhesive stamp. How was the penny red a first?

PS: There is NO luxury vacation!!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Well, there's SPAM egg sausage and SPAM, that's not got much SPAM in it.

Q: Anyone wanna know how to get on the wrong side of me?

A: In anticipation of a chorus of affirmitives - Why it's SPAM of course you morons!!

Look, you know who you are....

One day it might be a Nigerian prince offering to give me vast amounts of money for simply giving him access to my bank account.

Another day it's a plethora of Viagra alternatives (note not many of these actually sell Viagra.... Always an alternative).

Today it was some mother hen clucking on about Pogo increasing their prices.

Amongst others I can remember, Pogo were going to give me money for sending an email to a zillion people, Bill Gates was personally gonna give me money for forwarding an email to everyone I know, one email told me to blacklist some Pogo members, the list goes on.

Listen up morons:

1) Nobody is ever going to give you money for forwarding emails - they are untrackable!!

2) I don't want a bigger schlong, I'm quite happy with the one I got. I suppose Michelle is reasonably happy with it too, I never stopped to ask??

3) There is no Nigerian prince with a load of wonga waiting for your bank account details.

4) How the eff do you think forwarding an email to everyone on your "buddy" list is going to stop Pogo from increasing their prices (or from attached comments, making their games too hard - boo effing hoo my heart bleeds for you)?

5) Forward or send me any kind of spam, and I guarantee, all communications will be severed - permanently - ask me if I am bothered??

For God's sake people, think before you forward these crappy emails!!

Someone, and I won't name names, has made it onto my "blacklist" today for sending me, not one, not two, but three effing spam chain emails!! Bye bye friendship, that's one less "buddy" for ya!!

If you are ever in doubt about a chain email or anything similar, just google it... I am sure you will read about it, and find that it's complete and utter bollocks!! Delete it, don't reply, and block the sender. I don't care if it's your/my mother.

Rant over!!

PS: I have loads of money, that you can have a share of, just send me your bank details and your credit card numbers (including CVV number) and a copy of your signature, and I am sure we can work something out.

Thanks

Effed off FoX

Cool thing for today:

Look how easy it is to research these things!!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Park and ride!!

Got up at about 8am.

Coffee and bike maintenance. What to do with a pushed out piston on my hydraulic disc brakes?? Well, I thought, and I thought, and I got the tools out. Carefully (actually pretty frightened) I managed to strip the disc system down, got the pads out and forced back the pistons, put the weel back... it was still not right.... three or four more attempts at the same and no better.

As a last ditch attempt, I removed the hydraulic unit, and tried it all again. Apparently it was the reseating of the hydraulic unti that fixed it.... Am I good or what?? Fixed by mistake... Resounding success!!

10am - Bike ride with Riv and Len. We took in some proper chokey (the ruts in the ground are so deep and narrow that your pedals don't fit through easily) single track stuff round the edge of Wessenden. Very nice, very picturesque. I found that my legs still haven't forgiven me for last weekend yet.

Came home, had a bath, watched Shrek2, which I totally love.#

Am thinking about food.... perhaps curry.

Am also thinking about cake.... and the concept of each country having its own definitive confectionary....

France = Egg custard, or anything else yellow.
Iraq = Bombe Surprise of course.
America = Victoria Sponge, light and fluffy and full of hot air.
Scotland = Chocolate fudge cake, cold, thick, and chock full of deep fried calories.
England = Lemon drizzle, damp, sour, and leaves you with a bitter taste.
Italy = Fairy cakes, what else??
Australia = Any cake with a file concealed in it!!

Ah well, that's a good proportion of the world insulted. Anyone got any more that I can ensure I have no readers left by the end of the week?

I guess I oughta be going and putting my crash helmet on now, and wait for the abuse to start pouring in. It's so easy to talk me into something.

Cool thing for today:

Apology Generator - Guess this could come in handy!!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Pinch and punch.

Today, as some of you will be aware, is the first of the month.

We have a ritual in our house. The first person to remember gets to pinch and punch the other person. I remembered (which is quite unusual for me) this morning and claimed victory.

Michelle is mortified!!

Victory, sweet victory is mine for a whole month.

I play a lot of games. Board games, computer games, mind games, puzzles, etc etc. I am a terrible loser, and an even worse winner. That makes this morning's victory doubly bitter for poor Michelle.

It's been a slow day. Got up real early and did my usual blog-slog around everyone's sites. Takes me about an hour to check all the ones I read now. Smoked a couple of cigs, and went back to bed and read for a bit. Had a couple more hours sleep.

Got up and pretty much wrapped up this week's Pogo badges. I am still working on my Pop-Fu personal challenge though. Watched loads and lods of food oriented TV. Don't ask me why, but I love to start the weekend by watching cookery and food programmes. I love the old reruns of TV Dinners with Hugh Fearnley-whittingstall - I am sure he'll forgive me if I spelled his name wrong.

This afternoon, my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew called round with some belated birthday presents.

Am just surfing now looking for something cool for my webpage. Not much to offer really, but Ahm posted thisw funny picture on my guestbook. I thought everyone ought to see it, it certainly made me chuckle.

Cool thing for today: (thanks Ahm)